A/N Apologies for the long delay guys, I really don't seem to have time to write much at the minute. Thank you for all your kind words, support and advice, you're all so loverrrly!

'When you want to go you just tell me okay?' Lucas softly told Peyton.

She was preoccupied with her attire. She'd chosen the dress he'd suggested and was currently making sure her cardigan was covering her sufficiently.

'Peyton' Lucas squeezed her hand.

Her eyes jolted to him and she nodded distractedly.

'You look beautiful' He promised her but she didn't look convinced and he didn't wait for her to respond because he could see her lapsing, he could see her eying the car and wishing she wasn't here so he quickly led her through the back gate. The shrieks of children thrummed through her. It was chaos on the other side. There were hyper nine year olds running a riot everywhere, kids in swimming costumes, kids eating cake, kids singing, kids laughing.

This was her life. This was what she remembered. She remembered this garden, she remembered countless sunny days and bbq's shared with her friends, she remembered Lucas teaching Erin to swim in this pool, she remembered nothing but good and that lost happiness swelled inside her. This is exactly where she wanted to be. This is exactly where they needed to be.

Multicoloured helium balloons bobbed in their masses and buntings draped from the house to the fence. Haley had certainly gone to town with the decorations.

'It's like a freaking circus attraction' Lucas noted.

Slowly heads began to turn, people did double takes, familiar faces whispered in low voices at the unexpected arrival.

'Just ignore them' Lucas said gently. He knew everyone was going to talk, he knew everyone was anticipating seeing the both of them but he wished they could be a little more discreet.

He was thankful when one of their old friends' approached them, serving as a much appreciated distraction.

'Luke, Peyton' Mouth greeted. 'It's so good to see you guys' Lucas shook his hand and smiled.

'It's good to see you too man'

Peyton edged closer into Lucas' side and smiled sheepishly at Mouth.

'I'm glad you're home safe Peyton'

She didn't speak or respond and Lucas shrugged a shoulder and a apologetic smile in the newsreaders direction.

'We need to find the birthday boy, so I'll talk with you later Mouth' Lucas excused them.

'Maybe we should go' Peyton murmured, her eyes on the ground, her heart thumping in her chest and butterflies swarming her stomach.

'You don't have to speak with anyone Peyt'

She didn't have time to respond because James Lucas Scott had just noticed them and raced over excitedly to greet them.

'Uncle Lucas, Aunt Peyton!' He cheered. 'You came. Dad said you weren't going to make it'

'We wouldn't miss your ninth birthday for the world' Lucas promised him. 'Happy Birthday kido' He swung the growing boy around and groaned. 'God you're definitely heavier'

'I've eaten lots of cake' Jamie admitted in a low whisper. 'Don't tell mum'

'Your secrets safe with us' Lucas assured him.

Jamie eyed Peyton nervously. He was an overly sensitive kid, and like all Scott boys, he had always had a soft spot for Peyton Sawyer. He was aware that something bad had happened, he'd only been seven when she'd vanished from his life but he'd never forget the pain and sorrow in his parents eyes, in everyones eyes at the the mention of her name. But the most distinct change in his world had been the transformation of his bubbly cousin. He'd taken Erin under his wing and grown up beyond his years in those months. He'd protected her in the school playground and her teacher had frequently called upon him to come and visit her in her class when she was upset. He'd gotten teased by the kids in his year but he didn't care, he didn't take any notice. Through his eyes, through a child's eyes, Peyton's arrival home had been the end to the sadness, Erin was better and his Aunt and Uncle back home, reunited. But she was different, even he could tell this and he was looking at her curiously.

'I'm glad you came Aunt Peyton'

'Me too sweetie'

'Do you want to sit down? There's chairs over there, or you could go inside, there's not many people inside...' He trailed off and Peyton crouched down and took his hand.

'Thank you, but I'm okay honey'

A sheepish smile broke out on his face as her eyebrow quirked in amusement.

He hugged her abruptly and her eyes filled with tears and she held him just as fiercely. 'Your girlfriends are getting jealous' She teased into his ear, eying a group of precocious nine year olds sitting on the pool edge. He blushed and pulled back and Lucas laughed at him.

Jamie retorted by sticking his tongue out at his uncle. 'You're my favourite girlfriend Aunt Peyton' He grinned cheekily.

'Well aren't you the little charmer' She stood up. 'You're my favourite boy James Lucas Scott'

'Uncle Lucas is your favourite boy'

'Yeah Uncle Lucas is your favourite boy' Lucas piped up.

'Uncle Lucas is my favourite man...sometimes' Peyton winked at Jamie and the nine year old laughed.

'IT Jamie!' A boy interrupted them. Jamie looked after the boy, shifting his weight in his eagerness to participate in the game.

'Go, go have fun' Lucas ordered. Jamie smiled and dashed off after his opponent. 'Sometimes?' Lucas pouted at Peyton.

'Most of the time' She answered shyly, slipping her hand into his. Her butterflies had subsided and she was actually kind of liking being here.

'Look Erin's in the water' Lucas pointed out, his thumb unconsciously drawing circles on her hand.

Peyton's eyes averted to the pool. Erin was clambering up the steps with some help from her Uncle and once she was safely out of the water she made for the chairs and tables, her hair dripping along with her polka dot costume.

Peyton cringed as she watched her run over the concrete paving slabs, anticipating her falling flat on her knees and her mouth opened, an instinctive warning at the tip of her tongue but someone beat her to it.

'Erin no running' Brooke scorned. The six year olds' run turned into a hasty walk and Brooke met her half way, wrapping her in a towel. 'You mustn't run around the poolside, especially when you're wet baby'

Brooke lifted her up and dabbed her nose affectionately and the little girl smiled. 'Did you have fun with Uncle Nate?'

'Uhuh, did you see me, I swam to the bottom'

'Yeah you're my little mermaid girl' Brooke set her down on the end of Haley's sun lounger and Sawyer scrambled from her aunt's lap to sit with her big sister, her mouth covered with red icing.

'Err Sawy-er' Erin turned her nose up as a sticky hand found it's way into her damp hair and Haley and Brooke laughed at the pair. 'Let go' She whined. Haley was about to intervene when she noted her best friend with a certain blonde hovering not so far away.

'Luke, Peyton, you came' She stood up.

'Mummy, Daddy!' Erin gave them a gappy grin, seemingly forgetting that Sawyer had just gotten her all sticky. 'I've been swimming' She stood up on the end of the sun lounger and held her hands out to Lucas.

'I can see baby' Lucas lifted her up and tickled her sides.

'Sawyer made me all sticky.'

'Did she?' Peyton scooped Sawyer up. 'Did you make Erin all sticky?'

'Mumma, mumma, mumma'

'Hello' Peyton laughed. 'Have you been a good girl?'

'Good as gold' Haley squeezed Peyton's hand. 'I'm so glad you came' She added gently, her eyes narrowed a fraction at Lucas' hand on the small of Peyton's back. It was something she'd never have thought twice about, but considering the anxious blonde had completely isolated herself, from everyone including Lucas, the affectionate display and the fact that she wasn't cowering away was a gigantic step forward.

The sight of the four of them standing there smiling had both Brooke and Haley uncontainably happy.

'Thanks Hales, me too' Peyton muttered self consciously, sitting down with Sawyer on her lap.

'Hi best friend' Peyton greeted Brooke quietly.

'It's about time you showed yourself' Brooke smirked and then her face softened and her hand came to rest on Peyton's shoulder. 'I'm proud of you P Scott'

Peyton found sudden interest in Sawyer's summer dress.

'You look pretty Mummy' Erin informed her, oblivious to her mother's discomfort.

'She does doesn't she?' Lucas agreed.

'Uhuh'

Lucas sat her down beside her mother. 'I was helping Aunt Brooke with her works' She informed Peyton proudly, picking up a pencil and pad that had been abandonned on the paving.

'Were you?'

'Uhuh. I'm going to draw you and Sawyer and Daddy so sit still'

Sawyer wasn't in the mood for being a model though and had caught sight of Brooke's paper plate with a slice of cake sitting half eaten upon it. She dug her little hand into the icing and shoved an overly big lump into her mouth, smearing the racing red sugary substance round her mouth.

Erin giggled.

'Sawyer' Peyton sighed with a laugh. 'That's not your cake and I think by the looks of it you've had quite enough already'

'Mine'

'No, that's your aunt Brooke's and that's a much too big mouthful' Peyton caught the crumbs that were falling.

Lucas stood a few metres away, smiling at the display. He really felt like she was starting to fight back, that she wanted to fight back and he knew just coming here was hard for her and he couldn't have been prouder that she was sitting on the sun lounger surrounded by people, just a couple of days ago he would never have imagined he could get her into a situation such as this. Skills had just greeted her and although she'd just smiled and nodded and not really said an awful lot, Lucas new it was a step in the right direction.

'You slept with her, didn't you?' Nathan's low voice accused.

Lucas' head jerked away from the happy scene.

Was it really that obvious?

'Nate' Lucas took a swig of his beer that Haley had just issued him with, sighing heavily before turning around.

'Lucas' He reprimanded 'God you're such a dick'

'What me and Peyton do isn't any of your concern okay?'

'I know man, it's really not but we both know that's not what she needs right now'

'Just leave it Nate. It's none of your business, we're not sixteen anymore'

'No, exactly. So it's beyond me how you can't manage to keep it in your pants for more than five minutes. She's not ready for that Luke. She doesn't trust you or anyone. She's not ready for a sexual relationship'

'I know that' He snapped. 'It, it just happened ok and part of me thinks it was a good thing'

'Of course you do'

'I think it's important to treat her the same. The more I smother her like she's some invalid the more she pushes me out'

'And fucking her isn't smothering her?'

'You make it sound so crude, so wrong. She's my wife. I'm allowed to have sex with her'

'Yes you're allowed, but it doesn't make it right. She needs time'

'Don't lecture me. It's none of your fucking business okay?' He hissed harshly, not giving his younger sibling a chance to respond, he was already walking away. Nathan could only feel he was doing exactly what he always did, avoiding the inevitable. Lucas had a horrible tendency to ignore situations until they became unbearable enough for him to take action. Nathan could only feel now was one of those times, he only hoped they'd hurry up and address everything before their relationship was altered forever.

It was Wednesday afternoon and Peyton stood at the school gate, Lucas beside her, both trying to avoid the unsubtle stares from the other parents. Since Jamie's party at the weekend Peyton had managed to make herself leave the house a handful of times. She'd gone to Brooke's clothes over bros store for the afternoon, the park with Sawyer and Lucas and now she was at an overly populated school entrance.

Erin soon came running down the path. 'Mummy, Daddy' She grinned. 'You've come to pick me up' She stated delightedly and the picture perfect look on her face made Peyton's cold heart warm in a second.

'If you'd like, we're going to start bringing and picking you up from school again' Peyton announced quietly, she had to verbally promise this otherwise she knew she'd find a way of backing out.

'I'd like that'

'Me too'

Erin's smile soon faltered though and she edged behind Lucas' leg, her little hands curling into his jeans.

'What's wrong?' Lucas questioned her sudden need to be hiding.

'I don't like her'

Lucas inspected the little girl stalking down the pathway.

'Why?'

'She says mean stuff'

'What did she say?' Lucas squatted on the ground at Erin's level, encouraging her to open up.

'She said that her mummy said that I should have been put in a home and that it's no wonder that I've not talked when I have a criminal for a daddy and a whore for a mother' Erin recited in one breath.

Lucas' eyes grew wide. There were too many words in his daughter's recollection that he didn't like, that he didn't want her to hear let alone say. Whore. Criminal. Whore. Criminal.

He stared past Erin to the woman with her daughter and he wondered how people could be so cruel and malicious. For the most part people had been nothing but sympathetic and kind but there were a few that didn't seem to be willing to understand. Lucas had refused to talk to the newspapers, refused any information to anyone that wasn't a close friend or family, he'd not wanted Peyton to go through that, but that meant that the media had made their own assumptions about what had gone on, despite knowing that Ian Banks had been arrested there was still this confusion about whether Peyton had been having an affair and the part Lucas had, had in all of it. There were people that saw Sawyer and decided the truth of what had gone on themselves. It didn't matter if they didn't have the facts, some would inevitably make their own conclusions, regardless whether it were true or false.

His gaze drifted up to Peyton. Her brow was furrowed and he knew this was the last thing she needed. It had taken her so long to work up the courage to step beyond her house.

'What's a whore?' Erin garnered his attention. She'd deduced that it meant something bad by the horrible way it had been delivered to her.

Lucas gulped, looking back into his innocent child's face. 'That's a nasty word Erin and your mother most certainly isn't one. Sweetie there's a lot of people that don't understand what's happened and they say horrible things but we just have to ignore them.'

'I don't want to go live in a home'

'You're not going to' Lucas shook his head adamantly. 'Never. You're stuck with us' Lucas smiled and pressed his lips to her forehead. 'What do you say all four of us go get ice cream?'

'Peyt the kids are in bed' Lucas finished his sentence as he pushed open his own study door. She'd been spending a lot of time in here lately, a lot of time sifting through photo albums, photos of Erin's missed birthday's, words he'd written while they'd been apart. 'You want a glass of wine? We could watch a film or something?'

She didn't answer straight away.

'Peyt?'

'What is this?'

He stared at the disc in her hand and his stomach churned.

'Pey-'

'Why've you still got this?' She'd never yelled at him with such fury before. Her arm was swaying with the severity of her voice.

'Shh you'll wake the kids' He stepped forward and she stepped back.

'Do you watch it?' She indignantly growled.

Intuition told him to keep his distance.

'Of course I-'

'It's fucking twisted Lucas. Are you that fucking sick? That fucking depraved? Does it turn you on?'

His eyebrows folded over his eyes.

'You're turned on by him touching me?' She was hysterical, her eyes blazing and her hands quivering in a frenzy.

He'd heard plenty. He closed the hostile gap between them, snatching the disc. 'This' He shook the case in front of her. 'Watching this, was the hardest thing I have ever done in my life'

She scoffed, shaking her head in disgust.

He slammed it down on the desk.

He needed her to believe him.

'Peyton' He reached for her but she shrugged him off.

'Don't do that. Don't pull away from me' He forcefully took her arms and she struggled.

'You're sick' She hissed.

His hands left her in an instant, like his skin had just been seared.

She retrieved the case again, stubborn determination morphing her usually green eyes so dark that they almost looked back.

He watched in horror as she recklessly shoved it into his pc.

'Peyton I don't-'

'I want to see it'

He closed his eyes in despair.

'Did it take you long to figure out it was me?' She crossed her arms, studying the footage that was quick to fill the computer screen.

'I knew instantly' He answered through his teeth, his eyes still firmly closed and his face a frown of anguish.

'Did you think I was having an affair?' She asked as she watched Ian's hand slide down her back, she could feel it, she could feel his finger's pressing against her spine. 'Did you think I was fucking him cause I wanted to?' She looked at him expectantly.

His eyes sprung open at her words.

'You thought I was having an affair didn't you?' She smiled.

'Stop it. Of course I didn't' He focused on the carpet, refusing to watch.

'You didn't? He insisted we do it again and again until it was perfect.' She tilted her head as she watched and he regrettably looked up to see Ian unfastening her bra and he felt sick.

'Turn it off'

'I think my performance is pretty convincing. See, I'm even kind of smiling there'

He pressed his hand to his temple. 'Turn it off'

'Look, he can't keep his hands off of my legs can he? He loved my legs, maybe even more so than you, he said that there's no better feeling than having them wrapped around him'

Lucas was repulsed by that sentence, repulsed by the fact that he agreed, there really wasn't any better feeling but it was only him she was ever meant to have those beautiful limbs wrapped around.

Ian's hand toying at the waist of her underwear jolted him from his pain stricken gaze. He abruptly pushed her out the way and ejected the dvd himself.

He didn't know what she was trying to achieve, if she was trying to make him mad, angry, jealous, guilty and sad it was working and it was impossible for him to register that many emotions at once.

He closed his eyes and forced the offending object in different directions.

It splintered into three segments, flying across the room as he broke it.

'You think it isn't hard for me?' He shouted. 'You don't think I feel like shit for letting this happen to you. For not protecting you? You don't think it's hard for me to know he made you do all this stuff? Because it is Peyton. It fucking is. It's all I can think about.'

The frames on the mantel piece rattled with the severity of his voice and she pushed her tongue to the roof of her mouth.

'It's not your fault' She whispered.

'What?'

'I said it's not your fucking fault' She said a little louder.

He sat down on the leather sofa and she stood awkwardly.

'He never made me'

His eyes skittered across to her, she was looking down, fiddling with the hem on her top.

'He never made me'

'Peyton-'

'He didn't. He never held me down, he never forced me. He gave me a choice'

'Not physically forcing you doesn't mean he didn't force you baby, emotional blackmail is just as bad. I know it doesn't feel like it but he brainwashed you. It might have felt like you had a choice at the time but you really didn't. He was a clever fucking bastard. You did what you had to, to survive, to protect yourself and to protect our daughter.' He stressed.

'Why do you want me, a-after s-seeing that. The, the things I did with him, it's, it's disgusting. I'm disgusting'

'Peyton' He stood up and walked over to her, gripping her chin, angling her face to look at him. 'You are not disgusting-'

'I slept with him, over and over and over, I did things with him that I'm only meant to do with you'

He swallowed audibly. 'Peyton don't-'

'No Lucas, you need to know. I'm not who you think I am. You don't get it. I, I hated it, every moment of it at first, despised myself but then it just became, it became normal' She looked down. 'It became more and more like I was actually in a relationship. I tried to do everything he liked. It was better to please him, he was in a better mood if I did. I, I'd kiss him without him telling me to, I'd initiate it. I, I encouraged him to' A choked sob escaped her throat and he tried to embrace her. She tried to push him away. 'Don't, I'm. Just don't I' He forced her into his chest and her body involuntarily relaxed against him. 'I, I think we should get a d-divorce' She blurted irrationally.

'What?' Lucas' hands automatically clung to her even harder. 'No'

'I cheated on you. I had an affair' She tried to pull away, pushing at his chest frantically but he wouldn't let go.

'No you didn't' He snapped. 'You didn't' He shook her, trying to get her to see sense.

'Luke you can tell me whatever you want but I know you. Everyone thinks it and so do you. I'm a whore'

'That's not true Peyt. That's the furthest thing from the truth'

'I feel like, I feel...'

'Yes?'

'I feel like I've betrayed you'

'Peyton-'

'My head tells me that it's not my fault but it doesn't make it go away'

'Peyton the only thing you're guilty of is being a victim'

'No I've done bad things'

His hand stroked her clammy forehead, brushing her hair away from her face.

'He killed her' She suddenly blurted.

Lucas' hand stopped it's soothing motion. 'Grace?' He asked softly.

'How do you-'

'The police told me what happened, what they thought had happened.'

'He just, he took her, I was in labour and he went and just took her. Sawyer was breech. I really believe that if she hadn't been there to help me I wouldn't have been able to do it'

He rested his head against hers and took a shaky breath.

'She stayed with me for three weeks and then, then he shot her, he shot her right in front of me' She paused swallowing thickly. 'He just killed her and if it weren't for me, if it weren't for me she'd still be alive'

'You can't think that way' Lucas held her face.

'But it is Luke'

'It's not'

'She had a family and, and....'

'And they deserve justice, like you do. He deserves to be in prison for life Peyton and he's going to be charged, he's going to be charged regardless because there's enough evidence from all your injuries but'

'I could make sure he stays there, if I, if I tell them about her' Peyton finished.

'You don't have to stand up in court, you can just speak to someone privately and it'll be recorded and I can be there right with you, if you want me to be'

Her shuddering breaths slowly regulated as Lucas spoke.

'I want to see him'

'What?'

'I want to tell him Sawyer's not his, I want to tell him I don't love him, I want him to know that I never loved him, I want to be there when he's taken away, I do' She announced surely.

'O-o-kay' He rocked her. In the last fifteen minutes she'd let it all out, she'd broken down in a sense but as he looked down at her, her eyes closed, her hands around his neck, he was sure she looked more peaceful, more at ease. She'd been carrying this around, these conflicting feelings for too long and she'd feared speaking about it all with anyone, especially Lucas because she'd been certain it would only repulse him but she felt nothing but sheer relief. She wanted rid of Ian once and for all and she was going to make sure her family needn't ever hear his name again. She wanted justice for herself, for Lucas, for her children and most importantly Grace and as long as she had her husband standing by her holding her up, she was going to get it.