Title: Worth Dying For
Song: Somebody to Die For by Hurts
Pairing: Akuroku
Axel-centric
Axel glares at the offending ice cream stick. It says "winner," but all he feels like is a loser. He's lost Roxas, the first thing to actually matter to him since waking as a Nobody. He remembers caring for others, but Roxas was the closet he has gotten to actually caring. Now all there is is remorse and emptiness. His hand clenches around the wooden stick, wishing he could trade it for the only thing he really wants: Roxas.
An incomplete Kingdom Hearts stares at him through the window, a sure sign that Roxas failed. He wonders where he is and how long it will be before Xemnas orders his execution. Axel can feel a tightening in his chest at the very thought. He imagines Roxas' face twisting in painful agony, and tugs at his red hair. He can't let that happen, he can't.
Xemnas is entirely clear that his name will be the next on the chopping block if he fails to exterminate Roxas. Axel knows disobeying is stupid, but for some reason he doesn't care, not if it means he can have a bit more time with Roxas. Even if they are eliminated together by Xemnas' own hand, it will be okay as long as they are together. But Roxas doesn't make things easy. He stares at him blankly, and Axel realizes that he has been forgotten. All that time together is gone. He tries again, pleads with waving arms and a shaking voice, but this isn't his Roxas, not anymore. This is a Roxas who knows the workings of the world, yet knows nothing of what his place is in it.
Axel clutches the chest of his cloak, remembering the tightening of disappointment and loss. It is pointless to die for this Roxas, a Roxas who will only be used by those mapping out his life, a Roxas who will not even let him live on in a memory. His mouth is dry and bitter, but he summons his chakrams, their weight heavy as led in his grip.
Roxas looks at him scared before knowledge flashes. He's there, his Rox is there. His burden increases, head spinning. He's made up his mind twice, only for it to be pushed in his face. Kill and be spared or spare and be killed together. The answer is obvious, but not simple by any means.
"Sorry," he says, voice harsh out of necessity. If he dares give in, he knows he won't go through with it. Anger flares in Roxas' eyes—he remembers that anger. He strikes, dancing eloquently blow for blow, but all his nerve endings are screaming to hold him in a still embrace. He wavers, no heart in it. Panting and bruised, he cedes, creates a dark pathway and leaves.
He doesn't return to headquarters; he can't. He's already failed in his mission, and now he has nothing to show for it aside from an emptiness threatening to eat him whole. Roxas' smiling face flashes in his mind. He may have nothing to show for it, but Roxas is alive. Roxas may still be smiling. But he knows it is only a matter of time. Xemnas will never let him rest, and neither will Riku or Namine. He's the only one Roxas has, even if he no longer wants him.
Roxas chose to merge with Sora, and Axel waited out of curtesy of his wishes, but he can hardly stand by that decision. It is unfair to both of them, and so he decides he will give Roxas the life he deserves even if it kills him. That is the least he can do to make it up to him, to preserve that innocent smile that was so easily replaced with anger. Besides, he has realized in his absence that life without him is devoid of meaning.
So he kidnaps Kairi to lure Sora to him. Then he would extract Sora's heart once again, separating Roxas. Kairi could then return Sora to normal. No one would be hurt. Roxas could hardly blame him for such actions. But things don't go as planned. Saix is there, and he is forced to flee, leaving Kairi in his villainous hands. Then he meets Sora in Betwixt and Between. Sora who shines Roxas' light. Sora who is the center of everything and who Roxas chose. He's cornered by dusks, and Axel's only option becomes ultimately clear. Living without Roxas would be difficult but dying for him would be simple. Actually, it would be the simplest thing he had done in this life or the last.
Sora asks what he is planning, but he doesn't answer, just lets his internal flames flare, feeling the heat burning him from the inside out. He falls to the ground, and Sora is there, his face concerned and showing Roxas in every feature. Axel smiles, feels a sense of ease overtake him, the first since the day Roxas left. Sora asks what he was trying to do, and he answers. He wanted to see Roxas. He was all he ever needed. All that ever mattered.
Axel closes his eyes, feeling his body disintegrating back into darkness when a voice reaches him. It can't be Roxas, it can't. But it sounds like him, and that is all that matters to his fading consciousness.
"Stupid. You're leaving me, too?"
"Life just wasn't the same without you. No feeling to it."
He hears a chuckle. "I appreciate what you were trying to do." There is a pause, and Axel thinks he's done, that he will fade out in silence now, but then he says, "I won't forget you. Promise."
Just before he disappears entirely, Axel feels the warmth of a tear on his cheek.