chapter 25: a sweet twinge, oddly placed

They finally heard Tigress sing on the journey back to the Jade Palace.

When the weather cooled they packed up their site and headed back down the mountain into the Valley. Tigress, eager to get back to the Jade Palace and full of boundless energy, traveled half a mile in front of them. They stopped for lunch, and when they started back she fell into conversation with Po, the two of them falling behind the others. Shifu, Crane, Viper, Monkey, and Mantis walked along silently until Po trotted up behind them, huffing and puffing, the pans tied to his pack clanging. There was a mischievous smile on his face. When they looked up to him questioningly he just grinned, and said, "Listen."

"Listen to what?" Crane said, but suddenly a melody weaved down the mountain towards them. It was a loud, strong voice, with an androgynous quality about it - a woman singing a song meant for a man. Nevertheless, it was clear and skilled and bewitching.

"O, the falling blossoms, love

Falling into snow,

My love is like a single blossom

On the wind it blows

Blown away across the sea

Up to the moon and stars

Blade and blood between us, love

But from you I shan't be far….."

When they paused to listen Po shooed them forward. "Keep walking, she'll stop if she sees you."

"How did you get her to sing?" Crane asked.

"I won a bet," Po snickered.

The singing continued, echoing off the mountain stone. Shifu could not help but smile. They all did. The singing stopped when they paused by a stream for a drink. Tigress came bounding down the mountain to meet them, blushing, but with her head held high.

"Tigress," Shifu said, "that was beautiful."

"What was?" she said, and looked over his head into the distant valley, at the blazing sun dipping under the horizon.

"Your singing."

"I have no idea what you're talking about," she replied in a firm tone, and started down the mountain.

ooo

Habika hadn't seen him for weeks, but somehow that last afternoon of waiting was the hardest. She was hardly able to concentrate on teaching her erhu class. Once it was over she bathed, then patted on the sweet-smelling powder he liked, and put on his favorite pink hanfu. After Jing returned from the markets with a bottle of sweet wine and a thousand layer cake, Habika helped her change the sheets on the bed. A fresh vase of lover's flowers adorned the bedside table. As an afterthought Habika plucked one from the water and slipped it behind her ear. She felt suddenly hot, her heart pounding. She was so eager to see Shifu again she'd turned giddy as a girl.

There was a knock at the door and Jing answered it, bowing. "Good evening, Masters," she said. Habika rushed to the balcony to greet him.

"We've totally re-done the place, you'll be amazed," Shifu said to someone behind him. Habika began to speak, but paused when Tigress strode through the door.

"Wow. Is this the same building?" Tigress said, looking around the house. Her eyes fell on Habika before Shifu's did. They stared at each other for a beat, then Tigress gave a little bow. "Princess," she said.

"Master Tigress," Habika replied.

"Little one!" Shifu exclaimed, beaming up at her. "Look, it's Tigress!"

Habika nodded and smiled. "I see! It's good to see you back, Master Tigress."

"Thank you. It's good to be back."

There was a long, awkward pause. Shifu, entirely oblivious to the tension, trotted around the sangha pointing out changes to Tigress, who acted more interested than she really was. Feeling awkward and silly, Habika retreated into the kitchen with Jing, who gave her a sympathetic smile. Something about that gave Habika a bit of extra confidence. Drawing herself up, she grabbed the bottle of wine and three glasses, then strode into the living room.

"Would the two of you care to join me for some wine?" she asked.

Tigress began to accept but Shifu interrupted. "Not just now little one," he chirped and pecked Habika on the cheek. "I want to show Tigress the improvements we made to the training hall!" he said, trotting happily out the door, leaving Tigress and Habika suddenly, uncomfortably, alone.

"Lovely … new jewelry," Habika said. "Where did you get it?"

"India," Tigress replied.

"Oh! India!" Habika replied. "Lovely, uh …sub-continent, India."

"Yes. I thought so."

"Tigress!" Shifu called.

Tigress bowed and went out the door. "Princess."

Habika nodded. "Tigress. Master. Master Tigress."

When the door shut Habika closed her eyes and put her palm to her forehead. Jing gently took the bottle from her. "Allow me," the goose said, pouring a glass.

"Please," Habika replied, plopping down on the couch.

ooo

"This feels strange," Tigress said.

She, Shifu, and Po stood in what had been Shifu's room on the bottom floor of the bunkhouse. She'd only entered it a handful of times as a child, and remembered it as stark and cavernous, cold. It seemed no less so as an adult, especially now that it was empty of Shifu's few belongings. It was easily three times the size of her room in the barracks, with stone walls and a fireplace, a private bath, and a huge closet.

Shifu reached up and squeezed her hand, smiling. "You'll get used to it."

"If you don't want it I'll take it," Po offered. "These are some sweet digs."

Tigress smiled. "I'm sure I'll adjust."

Shifu offered her his old room when they were packing to return to the Jade Palace. She was taken aback, not realizing that when he said she didn't belong in the student's barracks he'd meant it literally. The room had been unused for over a year since he'd moved into the sangha with the princess. Tigress was speechless at the gesture, at the unspoken meaning behind it. It was a tangible, outward expression of her new place in the Palace, and her new relationship with Shifu. That room, if not occupied by the highest ranking Master of the palace, was to be saved for visiting heads of other schools or royal guests. By allowing Tigress to inhabit it Shifu declared her high standing to the Palace.

"Now let me show you how this lock works, there's a trick to it," Shifu said, trotting over to the door. There was a little latch at a height comfortable for Shifu's reach. Tigress had crouch low to watch his demonstration.

"Hmm. Maybe you should have Zeng move this up a little," Shifu said, chuckling.

"That might be a good idea," Tigress replied.

"Also, you'll want to place your bed on the opposite wall so the morning sun will wake you. It's a nice way to wake up. Oh, also, make sure the chimney flue is open before you start a fire. I filled the barracks with smoke when I first moved in here. Very embarrassing. The smell hung around for weeks, too. So make sure you don't repeat my mistake."

Tigress nodded. "I will."

"I think that's about it," Shifu said, smiling. "Any questions?"

"This closet is so big I could sleep in it!" Po cried from behind the closet door.

She shook her head. "I think I've got the picture."

He smiled. "Try not to be so nervous. You've earned this."

"Thank you Mast - Father. Thank you, Father." Her heart still did a funny somersault when she called him that.

He beamed up at her lovingly. "Maybe tomorrow after training we can talk more about your plans for the future, yes? Over supper?"

"Certainly, though I don't have any new ideas." Her new status implied a moving forward of some kind. She could still train with the five, of course, and she would still be part of the team, but her new place demanded some sort of independent action. She just wasn't sure what that action would be. Up in the mountains she had been looking forward to getting back into her old routine. It was jarring to realize there was no more old routine, like being repeatedly jerked awake.

"I should be getting back to the sangha," Shifu said.

Tigress gave a low chuckle. "That you should. You kind of blew the princess off back there."

Shifu's eyes widened. "I did?"

Tigress tried not to let any satisfaction come through in her voice. "Mmm-hmm. She was all dressed up with a flower behind her ear, had a bottle of wine and everything, but all you wanted was to show me the new house."

"She was?"

Tigress nodded.

"Well don't I feel like an ass," Shifu muttered. After a moment he reached up and patted Tigress on the cheek. "Thanks for watching out for me. You're a good girl. Enjoy your room, I'll see you tomorrow."

"Goodnight Father."

"Goodnight, uh, daughter," he said warmly, and went on his way.

When he was gone Tigress sighed and sat cross legged on the floor. The room looked a bit more familiar this way -she had been about this height the last time she was in it. There was some shuffling in the closet. With a yelp and a bang Po tumbled out and onto the floor. "Lost my - found my - feet," he stuttered. "Dark in there. Heh."

Tigress gave her bumbling friend a lopsided grin as he toddled over and sat down next to her.

"So, wow, huh? Moving up in the world!" he said, gesturing to the room.

She nodded. "It's strange."

"It's awesome! You know I would have thought they would save the fancy room for the Dragon Warrior, but this works too, I guess." He chuckled. "Just kidding. So, what are you going to do now? Have you thought about it any more?"

"Here and there," she said. "I just need some time. Shifu - Father - asked me the same thing."

Po tilted his head at her and smiled.

"What?" Tigress asked.

"Is that as weird to say that as it is to hear?" he asked. "Don't get me wrong, it's great. It's really great, it's just gonna take some getting used to."

"You're telling me," Tigress said. "Yes, it's weird, but it's … nice. I'm glad I can - that we can - be like that," she finished lamely. She didn't have the words to tell Po the real extent of her feelings, the trembling anxiety, tearful relief, a sense of joy so potentially overwhelming she still hadn't allowed herself to fully settle into it.

Po nodded. "Lots of big changes," he said, looking around the room. She watched him take it in, her big dumpling of a panda. Lately she found herself staring at him. There was something different about him that she couldn't pin down. She'd tried to suss it out since her return but it eluded her. She kept trying to see evidence of it even though she knew the change wasn't physical. She watched his eyes as they lifted to the window to settle on the moon.

She said it before she knew she would. "You've changed, Po."

He raised his eyebrows. "I have?"

She nodded. "It's like … it's like you weigh more."

Po looked disappointed. "Oh. I've. Um. I've actually lost weight since you left," he said, putting his hand on his belly.

"I don't mean - that's not what I meant. You look fine. But it's like you have more gravity, somehow. Like you're more … here. Does that make any sense?"

His eyes went soft and thoughtful.

"It was tough without you around," he finally said. "But it forced me to grow up a bit."

She nodded. "I'm sorry, Po."

"No no! Don't be sorry, Tigress. You did what you needed to do."

"I should have at least said goodbye."

Po shook his head. "You can't always say goodbye. Sometimes you just need to go."

A warm feeling bloomed in her chest. "Po…" she said, leaning into hug him. "Thank you."

He wrapped his arms around her. It felt wonderfully warm and secure. She rested her cheek against his soft shoulder. She felt a sweet twinge, oddly placed, so out of context that she put it directly out of her mind.

"I'm glad you're back," he said, his voice deep and rumbling and soft.

She sighed. "I'm glad to be back." She gave him a last squeeze and released him. They sat in silence for a moment, looking at the moon.

"You know," Po said, "maybe you should do something with that Sastravidya stuff."

"How do you mean?"

"I mean, maybe you could combine it with kung-fu somehow. Invent something new."

"I - I don't know," she replied.

Tigress didn't consider herself a creative person. Not like Shifu, in any case, who had invented half the machines in the training hall and created the panda fighting style just for Po. She was good at doing what she was taught with speed, accuracy, and precision, but had never taken it upon herself to add anything of her own. But then, wasn't that what her new place in the Palace was all about? Moving forward, accepting new challenges? Stretching her boundaries?

"Just a suggestion," Po said, shrugging.

"That's a good idea, Po," she said.

"It is?"

"Yes," she said, and then more firmly, "It is."

ooo

"Little one?" Shifu asked, sheepishly pushing the sangha door open.

She dashed out of the kitchen, threw her arms around his neck, and covered his face in kisses.

"Oh!" Shifu said, chuckling. "Good, you're happy to see me."

"Of course I'm happy to see you!"

"I thought you might be upset. About earlier."

Habika locked her arms around his neck and leaned back, so she was almost swinging on him. "Earlier? Oh, yes, that was painfully awkward. Ugh, I'm such a dummy. Couldn't even make words right. Terrible terrible. Pick me up!"

Shifu did as she asked and swung her into his arms, though he raised an eyebrow. "Little one, are you drunk?"

"Only a little."

Shifu laughed. "Silly thing."

"Upstairs! To the bed!" she commanded, pointing to the air.

"Right away!" he said, carrying her up the steps.

"I'm glad your Tigress is back," she said, "even though she scares me."

"She scares you?"

Habika nodded. "I'm sorry."

"Nothing to be sorry about. Tigress is an intimidating warrior, but you have nothing to fear, little one. You're always - " he stopped short because Habika pressed her lips against his. When he placed her gently down on the bed she tugged at the shoulders of his robe, pulling him down on top of her.

"Get in here and be my husband," she growled. "I haven't seen you in so long it's stupid."

ooo