The voices. That's what I noticed first. Soft, whispering sounds floating through the room. The words were impossible for me to understand, but I knew it was whispering. There were others here with me, wherever that may be.
...
Or was it hissing? Was my father's hell real and I was damned to eternity in a pit of snakes?
…
"Bella, please come back to me. I need you...so much, love. Please..." The voice pleaded with me. It's rich tenor reminded me of someone.
…
Edward. Was his the hand holding my own?
…
My head was throbbing. I didn't expect pain like this after death.
…
"...traumatic brain injury. She will be disoriented and confused when she does wake up, and it's possible that she will not even remember what happened. Some amnesia is common with these kinds of injuries...."
…
My hand was freezing cold, but I was warm. I tried to move my hand closer to my body, maybe under the blankets.
Blankets! I was in a bed. I wasn't dead. Focusing all my energy on my one hand, I tried again.
"Bella?" Bella? That was my name. Someone was speaking to me. "Can you move your hand again?"
I tried.
"That's okay. I know you're in there. I know you need time to heal, but please...please come back to me."
…
"...just change her already. You know it's going to happen eventually, so what's the use of putting everyone through all this."
"She's going to be fine. Alice saw..."
…
About three things I was absolutely positive. First, I was alive, though I wasn't sure of the extent of my current injuries. Second, Edward Cullen was real, and he was undeniably in love with me. And third, vampires didn't exist.
…
I wanted to see him. It had been too long since I'd seen his face and I couldn't trust my memory any longer. I tried to open my eyes for the first time and was rewarded with blinding light that hurt, so I shut them. A whimper escaped and I felt the air move around me.
"Bella?" He lightly stroked my cheek.
"Turn the lights off and she'll open her eyes." A bell-like voice whispered.
"The lights are off, Bella. Can you open your eyes for me?" A third voice joined in.
A sliver of blue appeared as I managed to open my eyes slightly. It still hurt. I blinked slowly a few times, each time opening my eyes a bit more. My vision was fuzzy and it ached to look around. Two figures hovered expectantly over me and it was Edward that I recognized first. I was immediately drawn to his burning amber eyes which held so much pain and worry. I had to reassure him I was fine, because I knew he was blaming himself.
"Eh..." I tried to push sound through my throat, but it was so dry, it hurt. My tiny raven-haired friend pushed her way to my bed with a cup of water and held the straw to my lips. As I greedily sucked down a few sips, I felt my throat relax and cleared it.
"Edward." I whispered, and he smiled nodding at me. His grasp on my hand tightened slightly as he leaned down to kiss me softly on the forehead.
"We've got to stop meeting like this." He murmured and I almost laughed. At least that part of my memory was intact. This was the third time I'd woken up in the hospital to find him by my side.
"What happened?" I asked.
"What do you remember?" The other figure asked me. My focus was drawn to the familiar blond headed doctor. Carlisle.
"Dr. Cullen." That earned me another tight smile and nod.
"What do you remember?" He repeated.
"I.." I paused. My brain still hadn't sorted out what was real and what wasn't. "I'm not sure..."
He nodded and gave a meaningful look to Edward before turning his attention back to me. "Can you tell me your name?"
I frowned at his question. "Bella." Of course I know my own name.
"I need you state your full name." Okay, I guess Dr. Cullen was in full doctor mode.
"Isabella Marie Swan."
"Thank you." A small smile. He must know how ridiculous this seems. "Do you know what day it is?"
He stumped me there. I struggled to recall the last real memory I had. Going to school without Edward. It was sunny. "Tuesday?" I whispered.
He tilted his head. "Today is actually Wednesday, but you've been unconscious since yesterday, so I didn't expect you to know that."
"What happened?" I asked.
"I'll tell you after we run through a few more tests."
Anger flashed through me. "Tell me now!" I demanded. I was laid up in the hospital, unconscious, and I couldn't remember a thing. I wanted answers.
"Please calm down, Bella. You fell and hit your head pretty hard. I need to make sure there's nothing else we need to worry about before we discuss what happened." His calm doctor's voice did nothing to quell the irritation I felt. Edward was even glaring at him.
Dr. Cullen sighed. "Please follow the light with your eyes." The bright penlight made the ache in my eyes worse, but I did his stupid test even though the damn light seemed to be moving faster than I could keep up with. "Lift your arms, please." I did it. "Wiggle your fingers." I rolled my eyes. "Now your toes. Good." He continued with a full body assessment and suddenly all I wanted to do was sleep. The constant ringing in my ears was making my head hurt and I just wanted to get away from everyone.
"Does your head hurt?"
I looked at him incredulously. He just told me I hit my head, and he's asking if my head hurt? "Of course it does." I nearly growled. Edward's eyes widened in surprise at my tone.
The questions continued and I really wanted to hit someone. Slipping back into that blissful unawareness was so tempting. "Are you done?" I finally asked tersely.
"For now. It's best if you get some rest. You'll heal faster."
"What the fuck happened to me?" I demanded again. A shocked silence fell over the room for a moment before Dr. Cullen spoke.
"You hit your head when you fell. You had to have stitches, and the blow caused a mild brain injury. It's likely you'll have headaches and dizziness. Your vision may be blurry. You're agitated right now, which is to be expected. You may experience nausea, vomiting, ringing in the ears....among other things. It's important that you rest. We'll need to monitor you closely for any complications, especially considering you had a similar injury not too long ago. You must tell me if anything changes, or if you have any new symptoms."
"That's great and all, but where did I fall? Why did I fall? What parts are real and which aren't? How did I get here?"
"Bella, Bella, slow down. I know you have a hundred questions and I can't give you any answers. I wasn't there. I have a vague idea of what happened, but I can't say anything until you speak with the police. So, when you are ready, I will let them know."
His words didn't really register as I remembered the red hair. Victoria. The heart monitor blared as my heart began to race.
"Victoria! Is she real? She can't be real. Vampires don't exist. Who was the person with red hair? Is she going to hurt me? She was there...she tried to get me...."
Dr. Cullen pulled a syringe out of his pocket, silencing me immediately. "Bella you need to calm down, or else I'll have to give you something to help you do so. Now, I don't want to do that, but you cannot get this worked up. All your questions will be answered in time. Can you stay calm for me?"
I nodded and forced myself to breathe slowly, trying to calm down on my own. He put the syringe back in his pocket and I relaxed a bit more.
"Bella, you really need to speak with the police first, before we can answer any questions. Though I would suggest you avoid mentioning vampires unless you want to end up in the psych ward." Edward spoke to me softly, as if anything louder would cause me to fall apart.
"Sure, bring them in." Why the hell shouldn't we get this over with already?
"Are you sure?" Dr. Cullen asked me.
"I wouldn't have said it if I wasn't." I snapped.
"Alright. I'll go get them."
Dr. Cullen left the room, and Edward brought my hand to his lips. "I was so afraid I'd lost you."
"Looks like you're pretty stuck with me. I'm hard to take out, apparently." I smirked up at him.
He didn't find that funny. "You scared me. I love you so much, Bella."
"I'm going to be fine, you heard him." A sudden realization hit me. Shit. Could he really hear thoughts, or was that too a part of my imagination? I opened my mouth to ask him, but the door opened admitting Dr. Cullen and two police officers.
"Bella, this is Officer Smith and Eastman. They're here to take your statement." Dr. Cullen explained. They seemed vaguely familiar.
"Hello, Bella. I won't say it's good to see you again, especially under these circumstances." He gave me a wry smile. "We just have a few questions and then we'll be out of your hair. Okay?" Officer Smith spoke to me as if I were a child. I wondered if it was being in a hospital that made people behave that way.
"Sure, but why are the police involved?" I asked warily.
"We just have some questions first, and then we'll explain." Officer Eastman offered.
I huffed in response. "Let's get it over with then."
"Do you know what happened to you?" Smith asked, writing in his little notepad.
"No, though I'd love it if someone would tell me."
"What is the last thing you remember?"
"Going to school."
"What day was it?"
"Tuesday. It was sunny."
"Is there anyone who would want to hurt you?" I raised my eyebrows in response and felt Edward stiffen. Well sir, you see there's a vampire out there who is hellbent on revenge because my boyfriend here killed her mate.... Yeah, I didn't think that would go over well.
"Not that I know of. I know some of the girls at school don't like me, but I don't think they'd ever try to hurt me."
"Can you give me the names of these girls?"
"Well, Lauren Mallory has had it out for me since day one. Then there's Jessica Stanley..." Do you want me to tell Mike you went down on Tyler at his party? "...but I think she just does it to try to stay on Lauren's good side."
The two cops exchanged a look and Smith wrote something else down.
"Can you tell me what this about? Are you saying someone did this to me?" I hoped they'd give me an answer. This was becoming insanely frustrating.
"Have you ever had a confrontation with Miss Mallory?" Eastman asked.
"Um, not really. We've exchanged words a few times, but that was it. She doesn't seem like the violent type."
"When was the last time you spoke to her?"
"I don't know. It's been a while...I think..." I responded quietly. It seemed like there was something there, trying to break through to the surface, but not quite making it. I kept trying to go over every encounter I'd had with Lauren in my head, but I was getting confused again. Not sure what was real and what wasn't. We really didn't speak much, so there wasn't much to remember. Still...there was something...
"Is there anything else you can tell us? About Miss Mallory or what happened to you?" Eastman asked.
I started to shake my head, but then I thought of something. "Was I locked in a closet?" I asked.
They looked at each other. "Yes. Is there anything else you remember?"
"Blood..." I whispered.
He nodded. "You were found in a supply closet in the girl's locker room at your school." He paused, watching me to see if the information sparked any memories. "A Mrs. Cope received an anonymous phone call shortly after school ended. When she went to investigate, you were in a state of undress and covered in blood." He looked up from his notepad with a grimace.
"Go on." I urged him, flashes of memory connecting in my mind as I listened.
Mrs. Cope. Red hair.
"When she came near you, you appeared frightened and confused. You tried to get away from her and then you fought against her when she tried to help you. Mrs. Cope stated you were rocking and trembling, screaming and talking to yourself...that it sounded like you were praying..." He stopped again, checking with Dr. Cullen this time. He nodded. "She then called Dr. Cullen here, who is also your guardian. He reports that he found you in a similar state, and when you tried to fight against him, he sedated you and brought you to the hospital."
I nodded numbly. It was weird to have someone tell you what happened to you. I was there, I should have had the memories. There were flashes, but none of them felt real to me.
"Do you remember anything else?" Smith asked.
I shook my head. I couldn't remember what happened before the closet, and it kind of frightened me. An involuntary shudder ran through me. I had so many questions, but decided they should wait until I was alone with Edward. I trusted him more than anyone.
"Alright, then. If anything else comes to mind, please give us a call." He said, patting my leg gently. The gesture sparked another memory and I gasped. They were the officers who questioned me when Charlie died. So that part was real.
Everyone was staring at me. "It's nothing. Just thinking about my father." I explained with a shrug.
The two officers nodded sympathetically. "Take care of yourself, Bella. Next time I see you, I hope it's not in a hospital." Eastman gave me another small smile, before they both left the room.
It felt like the entire room sighed from relief.
I studied the girl-woman at the end of my bed. "Alice." I murmured. A smile lit up her face.
"I knew you'd remember."
"You know everything." I rolled my eyes. But there was truth in that statement, and it gave me pause.
"Not here, Bella." Alice warned, and I nodded as she confirmed my suspicions. She was the clairvoyant. Edward was the mind-reader. But they couldn't really be vampires. That had to be a part of whatever hallucinations I suffered from my injury. Then who, or what was Victoria?
"This is going to drive me mad, you know that." I told her.
She nodded tightly. "I'm sorry for that." There was such sadness in her eyes. "Carlisle's going to let you go home tomorrow and we'll talk then." She assured me.
I groaned. "It's the soonest I could let you go after this kind of injury, Bella. You'll need another CT scan tomorrow and then you're free to go." Dr. Cullen explained. "We all know Edward's not going to leave your side, and Alice assures us you'll be fine. As severe as this injury could have been, you're actually quite lucky."
I wasn't sure I agreed with his assessment. He didn't know of the maelstrom whirling through my head. "Home." I murmured, dreaming of a soft bed in a tidy apartment with Edward at my side. I hoped that part was real. "So, Charlie really is dead?"
Edward's brow furrowed and he glanced quickly at Dr. Cullen. "Yes, he is. You've been on your own since February. You do remember everything else...up until yesterday that is...right?" He asked carefully.
I chewed on my lip. I thought I remembered, but I couldn't be sure all of my memories were real. "I think so." I whispered. "I'm just confused as to what is real and what is not." He nodded, staring at our hands that were clasped together.
"That's normal, Bella. Everything will clear up for you, it just takes a bit of time. You've been through a traumatic experience and it will take some time for your brain to work things out." Dr. Cullen assured me.
Edward's thumb traced over my ring finger and I immediately understood what he was concerned about. I turned to Dr. Cullen. "Can you give us a moment?" I asked. Alice was already heading towards the door, ever cognizant of what was to come.
"Sure, just let me know if you need anything, and try to get some rest." He patted my shoulder affectionately.
"I will." I assured him.
As soon as the door clicked shut, I turned to Edward, who was looking at the wall across the room. I tugged on his hand to get his attention. "I remember." I murmured, knowing it was still possible for Dr. Cullen to hear us. "Yes. Always, yes." I gave him a meaningful look, and he visibly relaxed, his lips curving into a small smile.
"Thank God." He breathed. His lips found mind quickly and we shared a searingly chaste kiss.
"You were the one constant. I'll admit I questioned if you were real a some point, but I couldn't ignore the overwhelming love I felt for you. I clung to that, knowing I had to find my way back to you. I love you, Edward. Always and forever."
"Forever." He smiled sweetly and sat in the chair next to my bed. "I love you, Bella. Now rest." He commanded gently as he began to hum and stroke my hair.
I knew we'd get through this together, but the detachment from reality I was experiencing worried me. I hope Dr. Cullen and Alice were right – that my brain would sort all this out with a little bit of time. My life might not have been all rainbows and unicorns, but it was mine and I didn't want to lose what made me who I was.