Of the Superiority of Elves

Legolas POV

Wherein Legolas is a bit peeved when Aragorn forces him to ride in a saddle.

(Warning: attempts towards humor)

'Do not be ridiculous, Legolas.' Estel told me, obviously exasperated. It would almost have been funny if not for the reason of both of our irritation.

'I am not being ridiculous. Saddles are a creation of evil.'

'They are not. They are immensely comfortable, and if you would just get off your high horses long enough to try one, you would think the same!'

'I have tried them.'

'Two centuries ago! Believe it or not, Legolas, but saddles have evolved since then.' He said and lifted said object towards the horse that put her ears back a little, and took one step away from Estel as he lifted it up onto her back.

'Even the horse does not like it.' I said, satisfied that I was not the only one to object to the inanity of a saddle. Estel rolled his eyes as he tightened the girth around the horse.

'If you are to come with us, you ride in a saddle.'

'I can run.'

'Not even you can keep up with horses in canter.'

'Then I need not come with you.'

'With your luck you would not make it halfway to Mirkwood.' He said, in a mix of amusement and annoyance.

'Well, just let me ride bareback then!' I let him get away with his words, only because I really did not wish to sit in a saddle.

'The horse needs to carry a pack.' Estel reasoned. It was about the third time since we had started this discussion that he said those words. I was getting tired of hearing them.

'Just tie it around it with rope.'

'And risk everything falling off? No, we use the already fixed rings on the saddle to tighten it to the horse. Now will you please give up and get on so we can go?' He sighed.

'I do not give up, Aragorn.' I told him coldly and he gave a loud, long sigh. It was obviously to show me what he thought of our discussion.

'Could you not please do this? For me?' He looked at me with a small, quirky smile, trying to guilt me into doing it. Fortunately for him, it worked.

'Very well! But I shall not enjoy one moment of it.' I said, somewhat petulantly I must admit. Estel had attached a large bulk of tents and blankets onto the back of the saddle and I stared at it for a moment, wondering how I was supposed to throw my leg over that. I finally grabbed a hold of the mane of the horse, rather than the saddle as the humans always did, and jumped up. I managed to avoid touching any parts of the satchel, and seated myself uncomfortably on the leather.

Estel and his rangers also got onto their horses and we were on our way back towards Mirkwood. Or at least I was, I did not know what they intended to do once they got to our borders as that is how far Estel had said they would join me. So I trotted up to Estel to ask him, and he looked at me with a small smirk.

'Well? How's the saddle?' He grinned and I frowned.

'It is not quite as awful as I had expected.' I answered reluctantly, making him laugh heartily.

Far be it from me to ever admit it to Estel, but he had been right. The saddle was surprisingly comfortable. Although I still preferred bareback, for the saddle was very bulky, and the horse was not thrilled about all the excess weight from saddle and all the extra stuff they insisted on cramming onto there. I also missed the closeness to the horse that you only get from riding bareback.

'Not quite?'

'Yes. Are you getting hard of hearing?' I asked, eyebrow raised.

'Nay. I just never knew the sentence "quite as awful" could actually be instead of "you were right, Aragorn."'

'It was not.' I answered, with an intentionally haughty undertone. 'I cannot feel the horse as usually. The stirrups are useless, why should I want to rest my feet in such an uncomfortable position? The…'

'All right!' Estel chuckled, holding up his hand. 'I get it! But you cannot possibly say that bareback is better?'

'I can. Quite easily in fact.'

Estel shook his head.

'You are truly an Elf.'

'Is that meant to be an insult?'

'If you wish to take it as such.'

'Then no, for you are raised by Elves, and as such, are almost as much an Elf as you are a Man.' I smirked.

'Now I'm wondering if that is meant as an insult?' He asked in amusement.

'That you are a Man? Yes, I do believe that could be an insult.' I said with a wide grin.

'Think of the company you are in, Legolas. I am certain all these Men might have something to say of that.'

'Men that, I am certain, are in no way thinking of insulting an Elf. There is only one as silly as such.'

'Silly? You, Legolas, sound like a five-year-old.'

'Not hardly!' I said, using words I remembered Estel saying when he was five. 'I am just saying, that no Man is likely to beat an Elf in anything.'

'I seem to have memories that say differently.'

'And I seem to remember all the times I have bested you in archery, swords, riding…'

'All right! But what of the times I have bested you at tracking?'

'Although, you have never managed to track me.'

'Mainly because I do not take to trees quite as well as you do.' He said in apparent amusement.

'Are you trying to say I cheat?' I narrowed my eyes, glaring at him in jest.

'Not trying.' He grinned. 'I do believe I just said it.'

'Now who is acting like a five-year-old?'

'No matter! I got you into a saddle. Elladan and Elrohir will be so proud of me.' He said with a small chuckle at the end and I shook my head.

'What did you bet?'

'Do not be an ass, Legolas.'

'If you wish to be rude, do use another way of doing it than calling me an ass, Estel. At least make it a donkey's ass, for a normal one could in fact be quite nice.'

He guffawed in surprise, and I smirked, feeling entirely self-satisfied.

'I guess I could extend that courtesy. Do not be a donkey's ass, Legolas.'

'Now then, what did you bet? I will take half.' I said teasingly and his ears went red.

'Nothing.'

'I know it is not nothing. Tell me.'

'Arwen.'

'You bet for Arwen? With your brothers?' I could hardly take half of that. And if I tried, Estel would surely attempt to knock me out. Not to mention his brothers. And his father. And most assuredly Arwen herself would gladly drown me in the river. Or perhaps throw me off the Mountain. Perhaps she would simply feed me to the spiders. I shivered at the thought, not putting it past her to do something like that.

'Indeed. It would seem you are the one getting hard of hearing, Legolas?' He smirked.

'I could hear a butterfly land on a flower. Of course I hear what you are saying. I merely find it unbelievable.'

'Butterfly? Really?' I heard him mutter disbelievingly, but still in admiration, but I chose to ignore it. I could hear it, if I was listening and it was very close with little noise around me. It was not necessary to dissuade Estel's obviously erroneous belief that I would be able to hear it from far away.

'They said they would agree to me marrying Arwen the day I could get you into a saddle.' He finally explained, and it was my turn to bend in half as laughter truck me.

'Ai, Estel. They approved the first day you told them.' I said fondly, and he smiled with a shrug.

'Indeed?'

'Yes, indeed. In their normal fashion, they were baiting you. And me as it would appear.' He shook his head in exasperation, but now it was not aimed at me, but at his not-currently-present brothers. 'You knew this, though, and just wished to torture me.'

'I might have.' He smirked, making me wish I had something hard that I could throw at him. Something hard that wasn't my bow. 'I thought it was about time for you to try something new.'

He trotted ahead a bit as we came to a particularly thin path, with a drop on one side and a tall mountain hill on the other.

'I do try new things occasionally.'

'Well, apparently.' Estel said with mirth in his voice from in front of me.

'Maybe you do become set in your ways after a few centuries.' I finally conceded. Maybe saddles were not that bad after all.

'Am I hearing the Prince of Mirkwood admitting he was wrong?' Estel threw back in an amused tone.

'Nay, not at all. I was merely…' I stopped talking as my horse slipped with her hind leg, and I switched to speak to her to calm her down.

But it was useless, and though she was fighting to gain her feet again, she had already started sliding down the hillside. For my part, I jumped off… or I tried to jump off, but the atrocious stirrup held my foot in a vise, and I could not get loose in time.

The horse fell, and we started to roll, me being dragged next to the horse. Honestly, my idea of fun is not to roll down a steep hill with a horse threatening to crush me at any time. That was however my fate, and it took quite a few turns before finally my foot came free. By that time I had already achieved a speed too great to be able to get back to my feet, so I had to continue rolling, and try to avoid any big stones. At least I managed this small feat better than I had the last time that I had been falling down a hill. Or Mountain. Same thing.

'Legolas!' I heard Estel's voice when I finally stopped on flat ground. Looking up, I saw Estel running and sliding down the hillside to get to me. I had already heard the horse get back to her feet which relieved me. I hoped that she had not been hurt too badly from the fall. I carefully sat up, feeling every part of my body object to the movement. At least nothing felt broken, although my already bruised ribs were making themselves known.

'Legolas.' Estel called again. 'Stay still!' He dropped to his knees next to me and tried to feel my every bone to ensure nothing was broken, but I shrugged him off.

'You need not shout, Estel. I hear you well enough.' I muttered, feeling ashamed. I do not fall off of horses! But then I realized the stirrup was the reason I had fallen and I smiled smugly.

'I win.'

'What? Did you hit your head harder than I thought? For surely not even you can call falling down the hillside winning?' He asked with a raised eyebrow, but looked carefully into my eyes trying to detect any sign of a concussion. When he found none, he sighed.

'Can you get up?' He asked and I nodded. With his help I stood up and we went to the horse who, incredibly enough, had managed to get away with only a few scratches. And to my joy, the saddle and the pack was all pretty much in shreds.

'No more saddles.' I grinned, and Estel sighed in exasperation and rolled his eyes.

'No more saddles.' He conceded with shake of his head. 'You win.'

I always do.