Chapter 25

~ How'd I Let It Fade Away? ~

I wish I could say, just like that, things began to change for the better. Well, yes. I suppose they did. But, of course, they didn't stay that way. Time progressed, pushing on, being that little butterfly that loops and swerves throughout the sky, any change or flap a possibility to change history. Things stayed relatively the same, the world took its deep breath and then dove headfirst, taking down the first evil that stood in its path: Gangrel. The battle that we faced him in wasn't anything to record, in all honesty. He dropped like a fly. What came after him….that was something else entirely. Twenty of us dropped. Four were Hosts. Fifteen were normal soldiers. One was a Shepherd. Two of those were some of my closest friends.

Brandon Gonzales. Lucas Meringer. Violetta Valen. Noah Smith. Miyaji (I never knew her last name). All of them were just names written in red ink on a casualty list now, no longer of this world, and no longer here to aid us. Since that attack….That darkness I saw…Aquarius has stopped speaking to me. Rei and Dylan told me that their Zodiacs have stopped talking as well. Whatever that dark vortex that swallowed the others up was, it had caused the deities to flee. I had never felt loneliness as I did now, being the rotten, horrible, spoiled, privileged girl that I was. To think that I kept that mentality up until now? Had I really thought that I could keep them alive?

Those horrible thoughts were everywhere, spurred by grief, perhaps, and spurned even more by me. I never really knew Violetta or Miyaji, they were enigmatic. In a comical sense, it is much easier to bear life with Noah gone. But in a serious sense, I guess I do miss him, despite how he often asserted his "greatness" upon everyone. Brandon and Lucas…They hurt the most. Two kind and sweet guys that I grew up with dead in an instant. I can't believe I've admitted that about the former, but I suppose he was sweeter than he put out. Lucas moved when we were younger so I never saw him much until he ended up in Ylisse. Even so, he would always be there for me to offer a hug or a shoulder to lean on and now….now all I can do is allow myself to move on.

I can't.

Yes, I admit it.

I'm too weak. Or, perhaps, strong for holding onto this world's small gifts that are constantly trying to free themselves from my grasp.

But because of that, I can see my fate clearly now, and I understand Emmeryn's stance. Whatever sweetness left in the world was supposed to be preserved, even if you must sacrifice yourself in the process. I understand Chrom and Lissa's grief; to lose, and win, yet lose more as you do so. This world is so cruel…We must push past it now, or we will fall. Emmeryn was, and Chrom and Lissa are leaders in this world. And now I've made myself a part of it. They're strong, I am not. But that's not what a true leader is, I've seen it myself. True leaders can be considered cowards, and that is what some are for at times they must run to keep those that follow them safe. Flee battles, put up walls. Or stop the fighting, bring peace.

It's been a year and a half since that battle with Gangrel. Life went on as normal: the royal wedding happened. Lucina was born. I would fill you in with the events, I wish I could, but I don't remember anything after the loss of my friends. Rei and Dylan have filled me in on what I've…forgotten – the disappearance of the Zodiacs, the wedding, Lucina's birth… - but I can't help thinking, "Is this really all that I've wanted?" Is this some fabrication? Why can't I remember my own wedding? My own daughter's birth. Even glancing at the occasional smile from Chrom leaves me with a hollow feeling, as if everything that I thought we ever had had turned to dust. These doubts…are very much a part of me as the rest of my personality. I always doubt everything – I never have blind faith, and now that's become too much. I can't trust in my supposed memories.

I don't want to be that broken bitch who throws the story into a loop, but nothing feels right. I need answers. And I need them now.

I pushed the chair out of the desk I sat in, sparing a pitiful glance at the child that sat across the room. My child. The one I don't recall having. Poor Lucina…I shook away the thoughts and hurried out of the room. Where to start? The library, of course. That's where one went when they were uncertain. I didn't know how much the Ylissean library would have on….No. It won't have anything. This world knows nothing of the celestial powers at work. I continued down the hall. I needed to make it to the stables. I needed to leave here. I needed to find this force of evil. I need an explanation.

Frederick appeared at the other end of the hall, and upon seeing my hurry, allowed a look of worry to wash over his features.

"Milady, is there something—"

"No, but thank you for asking, Frederick. I'm simply walking about, no need to worry about me," I replied sharply. I had no time for his intervention. And so I quickened my pace, zipping around the corner. I was nearly at the first floor when I heard voices – Chrom's and Robin's – echo from below. Looking around wildly for a room, I dove into a servants' door the moment my eyes settled in it. I counted two minutes before sliding out of the servants' corridor and sprinting down the stairs.

After three more minutes, I was at the entrance to the palace; two more and I was in the stables, saddling up Amphitrite. The stable boy gave me an odd look, and even moved to helped, but I waved him away with a "Shh…I'm just getting out of meeting. You never saw me, okay?" The boy nodded as I led the mare away. As soon as we were clear of the building, I jumped up onto her back, digging my heels into her sides. The horse broke into canter, and then a gallop, racing across the courtyard, unhitched through the gates as both guards were asleep, and through the streets of Ylisstol. I had forgotten a cloak, so those that did catch me as I zipped by gasped and waved. Those that were vendors offered me wine and bread, but I simply ignored it, focused on the city gates.

It wasn't long until I passed through them, flying past the small groups of trees until I was in the true field. I would've stopped there but something urged me on. Something that was buried deep within me. Why I wished for this freedom was a mystery to me, all I knew was that I must leave.

The field was a green expanse, as per usual. Only when we were far out did I let Amph slow and nibble at the grass. I slid off her back, patting her side gently before crouching down to look at the sky. It was just before sundown, and the sky had taken a beautiful orange and pink hue.

Out of nowhere, my eyelids began to feel heavy – it wasn't even dark, and yet…I couldn't keep them open. Feet crunched behind me. A chill ran down my spine; my instincts screamed at me to get up and run, but I couldn't. Whatever drowsiness that had come upon me had rendered me useless. This was not natural.

"Hm….?~" The person hummed. Their voice was feminine and laced with venom. "It seems the little princess has fled from her castle….Such a shame too. She was much safer there. Now…" I couldn't see her face, but I knew a smirk had crossed this person's lips. "Let's bring you back to your senses, why don't we, dear?"

A fierce spasm wracked my body – I didn't know what she had done, but it was incredibly painful – and then there was nothing. No pain. Not even a doubt, just…something forming in my throat. A laugh. The gleeful noise erupted from my mouth as my eyes opened. This person…Whoever they were…Had set me free. Whatever had lain under wraps had reached the surface. It was clear for me to see now that my memories and all those people I had…fooled that told me what had been were complete lies. This was where I belonged. This was who I was.

"It's good to see you back, Aquarius." A smile split the white haired woman's face, her pale skin reflecting the remaining light and casting an extraterrestrial glow throughout the area.

"It's good to be back, Raava…" I offered a wild smile in return.

"You always were a crazy being."

"Hah. You know what they say. Those born under me are either psychotic criminals or humanitarians. I'm glad you've awakened my true self."

I'm sorry for how short this is. But this is something I've really wanted to get to. It's been 4 months since the last chapter, so I also felt it was necessary. September 21st was the one year anniversary, and this was supposed to be ready by then, but I got caught up in the Marching Band season and Volleyball, which has started again.

This twist has been in the making since the first chapter, except Gangrel wasn't supposed to be skipped initially. I didn't know how I was going to write that fight, or the wedding since I lost the script I made, and Lucina's birth because honestly…I don't like writing pregnancy/childbirth. The deaths were planned since the beginning. I do not know if I will add more OCs…Even the ones that people submitted. I find it annoyingly hard to focus on multiple OC's and characters at once, so I apologize if I don't end up adding your OC.

In other news, I preordered the special edition of Fire Emblem Fates with all routes on one card and have been pissed at Nintendo because they patched TubeHax, so I couldn't play my Japanese version of Fire Emblem Fates: Conquest. Ahhhh I'm sure they'll fix it….Anyway. Um. Review Fav and Follow I guess? Bye!