Hey guys, so I wasn't planning on writing anything tonight, but after seeing your comments I felt like I needed to give you guys the next chapter! I realkly want to say a huge thanks to GarnetAles, your comment nearly had me crying tears of joy! I'm so pleased you are enjoying the story :-) Kate isn't Lucas's mother, in the series she was called Ayani. But I promise I will answer you questions as soon as!

Here's a nice long chapter to keep you going whilst I'm at the wedding. Not sure how late I'll get back on Sunday, but will try to post up next chater ASAP! My college broke up for a three week Easter holiday, so hopefully I'll have more time to write :-D

Enjoy xx

Chapter 25: Is It Love?

Skye

"Are you sure you don't want to come out tonight?" Hunter asked.

I glanced up from where I sat on the couch and shook my head. Hunter, Tasha and Max were all standing in front of the front door, on their way out to Boylan's bar. I didn't want to risk seeing Josh there.

"I have a headache, I just wanna stay here."

Hunter shrugged, but said nothing more. I watched as the three of them exited the house.

I was pleased to be left on my own. The quiet gave me time to think. Since it had happened, I had been unable to think of anything else besides the kiss. I hated myself for enjoying it so much. I knew nothing would ever be able to happen between Lucas and me.

He would never be accepted back into the colony, and I couldn't just run away with him. Although I loved being OTG, I couldn't just leave Taylor. It would destroy him.

I shook my head, knowing that I shouldn't even be considering the idea of running away. Terra Nova was my home. This was where I belonged. Lucas didn't care about me. He was probably laughing to himself right now over my reaction. This was just one big game to him.

I violently jumped when someone began knocking on the front door. I got up and went to answer it. The moment I had opened the door, I wished that I hadn't.

Josh stood sheepishly on the other side. He smiled weakly at me. My hand automatically went to the bruise on my right forearm. I had told my roommates that I had whacked my arm against a door. They hadn't questioned it.

"Hey. I just saw the others. I thought as you were alone now would be a good time to talk about everything."

I wanted to tell him to go away and never bother coming back. But instead I stepped aside and let him come in. Whether I liked it or not, we were going to have to talk about this at some point. Josh was right, it was best to do it without an audience.

He went and sat on the couch. I closed the door and sat in the chair opposite him. Josh gazed over at me looking regretful. His eyes kept flicking down at my arm. Where he had grabbed me now had a large purple bruise. It was really sore to touch.

"Skye I'm so sorry. I never meant to hurt you, I just felt so frustrated." He paused and forced a smile. "I guess I get my temper from my dad..."

My eyes peeked up at him.

"It's okay." I heard myself say.

"No it's not. I feel terrible." I looked away from him again. I was fairly positive that he didn't feel worse than me right now. "Look I...I came here to apologise. I never should have grabbed you like that."

I nodded, keeping my eyes on the ground. My whole body felt numb. The only thing I could feel was the dull thudding of my heart.

"Can we please just forget this day ever happened?" I glanced up at Josh. He was gazing intently at me.

"Is that what you want?" I asked.

For some reason I thought that admitting what had happened with Lucas had sort of ended things between Josh and I.

"All I want is to get back to how we were. We were so good together. I just want my girlfriend back."

I smiled weakly at Josh. A warm sensation passed through me; an echo of what I used to feel for him.

"We were good together..." I remarked.

My head felt like it was spinning as my mind processed my options. There were only two choices; either take Josh back, or be alone. Lucas wasn't an alternative.

Sooner or later he was going to try to escape from here. If he succeeded, then I would hopefully never see him again; and if I did, it would only be when he returned to kill Taylor once and for all. If he failed, then Taylor would probably lock him up forever. I doubted he would execute him, and he couldn't exactly exile him. Lucas definitely wasn't an option.

After everything, the idea of being even more alone then what I was now terrified me. Josh and I had had something special. I knew we could make it work again.

"Did it mean anything?" Josh asked suddenly, breaking the silence.

I frowned up at him.

"Hmmm?"

Josh's nose twitched in disgust, and a flash of his former rage flashed across his eyes. I felt myself tense up. But he quickly composed himself.

"The kiss. Did it mean anything to you?"

Yes, it had meant the world to me I thought. I had never experienced anything like that, and I highly doubted I would again.

My teeth clamped down on my lip, so as to stop myself from saying my thoughts out loud. I shook my head.

"It didn't mean anything." I answered weakly.

It couldn't mean anything. He was Lucas Taylor. Whatever was between us had to stop. I had to get back to my normal life.

I looked up a Josh. He was beaming back at me. He stood up from the couch and came over to me. I frowned at him as he got down on one knee.

Some many thoughts started running wildly around my mind. Josh took my hand in his. His mouth was curved into a wide grin as he started speaking.

"Skye Alexandria Tate, will you please give me a second chance?" He asked.

I sighed in relief when I realised he wasn't proposing. Then I laughed at his sweetness and I nodded.

"Come here stupid." I instructed, reaching down toward him.

He sprung up and wrapped his arms around me. Pushing me back against the chair, his mouth found mine. I shuddered slightly as I felt his tongue force its way to mine, but I didn't try to stop him. This was what I needed. I had to remind myself of what a fantastic boyfriend Josh was. Tonight sparks were going to fly; they had to.

I was lying naked in my bed, with a bare Josh next to me. He had fallen to sleep hours ago. I still hadn't managed to pass over to unconsciousness. My mind wouldn't stop thinking; it wouldn't allow me to fall asleep. I was facing Josh desperately trying to convince myself that I was in love with him. My plan of making sparks fly hadn't worked. Josh had enjoyed every second of it; I had just found the sex boring.

My mind kept forcing me to think about Lucas. I was trying to keep him out of my head, but it was exhausting trying to constantly control my thoughts. My mind was currently reminding me of the kiss. My lips tingled at the memory. Small sparks sent shivers down my spine.

I hated myself for running away. I was so tempted to go back to the hospital now. A growing need to be with him was beginning to take over my being. I wished so much that I was looking at Lucas now and not Josh. My heart pounded at the thought of him being here in my bed.

I couldn't stop myself from grinning as I imagined what being with Lucas would feel like. He wouldn't be as gentle or slow as Josh, but he would be exciting. I craved the excitement. Thousands of butterflies filled my stomach as I thought about the feel of his rough skin on mine. A small, quiet gasp left my lips. I closed my eyes as my body quivered with the imagined ecstasy. My heart fluttered in my chest. I needed to be with him so badly.

Josh moved about in his sleep, snapping me out of my imaginary sex with Lucas. I stared carefully at him, worried he would somehow know what I was thinking. I loved Josh, but only in a best friend kind of way. He was something safe. I had wanted safe after everything that had happened. But with safeness also came boredom. Now my body craved danger and the thrill it would bring; my body craved Lucas.

Josh's eyes fluttered open and he saw me staring at him. He smiled at me, lighting up his boyish features.

"Hey." He said sleepily.

"Hey." I greeted him back.

His arm stretched out and he stroked my cheek. I managed to prevent myself from flinching away. I knew what I was going to have to do. I couldn't lead Josh on. I was not in love with him. But I hated hurting people, and I knew this would crush him. So I kept my mouth shut, and allowed him to caress me. His fingers traced down my chest until they found my breasts. My hand sprung up and grabbed his wrist. He looked at me, shocked.

"Sorry I...I'm tired."

He nodded and smiled understanding. He leaned over and kissed me lightly on the forehead. I felt him wrap his arms around me, and I became trapped in his embrace.

"I love you Skye."

I closed my eyes, unsure what to say. I wasn't going to lie to him, but I wasn't prepared to hurt him either. Instead I pulled away, sat up and looked down at him.

"I know. I am pretty awesome aren't I?" I said jokingly.

He laughed and nodded. His hand reached back up toward my face. Before he reached me I moved and got out of bed. I grabbed my clothes and began frantically putting them on, suddenly feeling self-conscious about him seeing me undressed.

"Where you going? Thought you were tired..."

I smiled back at him.

"I am tired. But that doesn't stop me needing to get up for work."

He frowned back at me.

"You got a job?"

"Not exactly...but I am thinking about asking your mom for another internship."

His frown deepened.

"Really?"

I nodded and pulled my shirt over my head. I threw Josh's boxers at him. He didn't move. I gestured over to the clock. It was 8am.

"What time's your shift at Boylan's?"

He looked over to the clock and then back at me.

"Not for another hour. C'mon Skye, you don't have to go right now; Why don't you come back to bed for a bit?"

"I hate lounging. I'd rather go early, shows I'm dedicated don't it?"

He rolled his eyes at me. I left Josh moaning at me to relax for once and went for a shower. I changed into the fresh clothes I had brought to the bathroom with me and then started work on my hair. I dried it as quickly as I could and managed to pull a brush though it. I pulled it into a ponytail, figuring I looked more professional that way. By the time I was done in the bathroom, Tasha was up and making breakfast. She smiled when she saw me.

"Good night?" She asked cheekily.

"Yeah." I said trying to sound enthusiastic.

She eyed me suspiciously, but didn't say anything. Instead she toasted some bread for me as well. I got the butter from the fridge and two knives, whilst she got the plates. We buttered the toast in silence and then sat down together to eat.

"Is everything okay with you and Josh?"

I put my finger to my lips and glanced over at my room, telling her Josh was up and probably listening. She followed my glance then nodded. I shook my head at her though and she frowned. She leaned across the table toward me.

"What's wrong?" She whispered.

I debated telling her. Tasha was a good friend, and I trusted she wouldn't blab. But at the same time I barely understood myself what was happening. But I really did want to talk to someone about all of this.

"Lucas." I whispered back.

She nodded understanding and smiled.

"I thought something had happened between you two."

"Nothing did, not out there anyway. But we...we kissed yesterday in the hospital."

I barely said it loud enough for me to hear. My eyes flicked back over to my room. I couldn't hear Josh moving around so I hoped he had gone back to sleep. Tasha's eyes had widened with shock, but she recovered.

"Who kissed who?"

I shrugged and shook my head.

"I don't know...it all happened so fast...but I, I know that I liked it, I liked it a lot."

"You have to tell Josh."

Her voice was getting louder so I quickly sshhhed her, frantically checking my bedroom door. I picked at the toast in front of me, not really feeling that hungry.

"He already knows."

"What? And he's okay with it?"

I nibbled on my lip, debating whether to reveal all. I decided not to bring up the truth about the bruise, which was looking even worse today.

"Of course he's not happy about it but...but we've talked and reached an understanding. I told him it didn't mean anything."

"Did it mean something?" Tasha interjected.

My mouth opened, but words couldn't even begin to express what I wanted to say. As I started thinking about it, my heart flipped in my chest and began wildly pounding. My stomach fluttered anxiously, as I felt the pull for Lucas tighten.

"It was incredible...better than anything I've ever shared with Josh."

Tasha frowned and I closed my eyes, willing Lucas to appear and comfort me. I really needed him right now. When I was with him, it was like none of this stuff mattered. He would let me be whoever I wanted to be. With Lucas, I felt free.

"So what are you going to do?"

My eyes snapped open and I frowned at Tasha. Shaking my head, I shrugged. My eyes stared down at the toast I had picked to shreds.

"What can I do? Nothing can ever happen between us. Face it, the first chance Lucas gets he'll be out here like a shot."

"But you want something to happen?"

I frowned up at her.

"I don't know." I complained.

I leant my forehead down on the cool table and wished all of my problems would just go away. I wished I could just see into the future and find out what choice I made.

"Do you love Josh?" Tasha inquired.

I kept my head on the table, not wanting to see her scrutinising stare. Slowly, I shook my head. The guilt instantly hit me.

"Not in the way he wants me to."

Tasha munched down on her toast. Quiet fell over us as she ate. I still didn't feel hungry. Instead I was beginning to feel sick.

"Do you love Lucas?" She asked suddenly.

"What?"

My head snapped up and my eyes immediately flitted back to her face. She grinned and took a sip from the glass of orange juice next to her.

"You do don't you."

Heat rushed to my cheeks and I looked away. I didn't want to love Lucas. I shook my head, trying to clear my mind so I could think straight.

"It doesn't matter, Lucas doesn't love me anyway."

Tasha inclined a shoulder.

"How can you be so sure? He saved your life and brought you back here even though we both know how much he hates this place. He risked everything for you. If you ask me, I think he cares a lot more about you then what you may think."

I couldn't help but smile at the thought. A warm feeling flowed through me and my heart skipped a beat. My attention began drifting as thoughts of Lucas's consumed me. I thought about the night he had comforted me, him wading out shirtless through the river and wrestling with the fish; but most of all I thought about the kiss. My grin increased and I sighed. Tasha pointed at me.

"That's the look!" She exclaimed.

I snapped out of my daze and frowned at her.

"What look?"

"You're in love with him!"

I was about to protest, but my bedroom door opened and Josh walked out rubbing at his tired eyes. We both jumped and stared over at him, our eyes wide. I prayed he hadn't heard anything of what we had just said. He smiled at us.

"What were you two whispering about?"

"Nothing!" We both answered too quickly.

He frowned slightly but said nothing. He walked over to our kitchen and got out the bread. Since we had been together, Josh had practically moved in so he no longer bothered asking if he could get something. Hunter had suggested once that maybe he should just move in, but that involved me asking him and I hadn't been sure I was ready to take our relationship to the next level.

I watched silently as Josh buttered his toast and came and sat down next to me. Both Tasha and I had no idea what to say. Josh glanced at the both of us.

"What?" He asked defensively.

Tasha looked over at me. I looked hesitantly at Josh. I could almost hear Tasha's thoughts; tell him the truth, he deserves to know. I heard her scrape back her stool. My head turned to face her. She smiled encouragingly back at me.

"I'll leave you two to talk."

She hastily chucked her plate into the dishwasher and sped off out the front door. Josh frowned at me.

"What was that all about?"

He looked at me carefully as he stuffed toast into his mouth. I knew that it was now or never, but looking into is puppy dog eyes prevented me from saying anything. So I shook my head and shrugged my shoulders.

"Dunno."

I subconsciously touched the white scar on my forearm, reminding myself of Lucas. He had risked his life for me that day; maybe he did care more for me than I realised.

Josh looked uncertainly at me.

"Am I missing something?"

"No."

I jumped up, unable to remain around him and not feel guilty. I washed up both mine ad Tasha's plates then turned back to face Josh.

"I'm gunna go to the hospital, see if your mom's about."

He gave me a pleading look. I was about to move, but then he sprung up out of his chair. I froze and watched as he moved toward me. For some reason I found myself tensing up, like I was getting ready for him to hit me.

Instead he gently pushed me back against the counter behind me. His arms wrapped around me and his lips brushed lightly against mine. I managed to suppress a shudder.

"Stay. Just for a bit longer." He pleaded.

He kissed my neck and I closed my eyes. Desire began bubbling inside of me, as my mind imagined this was Lucas. It was Lucas's hands on my hips, his lips on my neck and his body pressing up against mine. My hands gripped the counter behind me and a small gasp left my mouth.

"I guess I could stay for a little longer." I whispered.

"Really?"

My eyes snapped open at the sound of Josh's voice. The wrong eyes gazed back at me. He smiled his boyish smile. You have to end this now I told myself.

"Josh...I..." His warm eyes looked affectionately back at me. "I have to go."

I pushed past him, hating myself for not being able to hurt him. I heard him call my name, but I didn't stop. I raced to the hospital. Regardless of the fact that I had promised Taylor I would stay away from Lucas, I found myself heading toward his room.

There weren't any guards outside of his door which I found odd, but I burst in anyway. The bed was empty, stripped bare of sheets. The chair had been moved away from the window. There was no trace that Lucas had ever been here.

I felt unnecessary panic begin to well up in me. I turned around, located Elisabeth and then marched toward her.

"Skye!" She greeted.

I smiled back.

"Where's Lucas?" I asked desperately.

"I discharged him last night. He's staying with Taylor at the moment I think."

"With Taylor...really?"

She nodded and smiled. Various scenarios played through my head, all ended up with Taylor's death. I couldn't really see how that was going to work out, but I was pleased that they were spending time together. I cared about both of them and I really liked the idea of them getting on. I grinned to myself. Then I remembered why I had originally planned to come to the hospital.

"Hey Elisabeth, I was actually hoping I could talk to you."

"Sure, could you give me five minutes? I just have to tend to a patient. You can wait in the staff room if you like."

"Okay."

I smiled and nodded. I went straight to the staff room. It was empty. I sat down in one of the soft arm chairs and waited for Elisabeth.

My mind began considering what to do about the Lucas and Josh problem. I had to accept that something was happening between Lucas and me. But I loved Josh. He was my best friend. I knew he loved me more then I loved him, but I did genuinely care for him. I didn't want to hurt him.

But Lucas drove me wild. Whenever I was with him my body reacted in ways I really wished it wouldn't. When I wasn't with him, I pined for him. My feelings for Lucas were so much more intense then what they were for Josh. Even before Lucas, Josh had never made me feel this way. It scared me. I had never thought it possible to feel this way for someone.

I knew I was going to have to break up with Josh. It wasn't right to string him along. But first I had to make sure Lucas felt something for me. I didn't know how I would prove it, but I had to.

The door opened behind me and I jumped. Elisabeth walked in smiling warmly, like she always did. She came and sat down opposite me.

"So what did you want to talk about?"

"I was wondering if I could come back and work here."

She frowned slightly at me.

"Are you sure that's a good idea after everything that has happened?"

I knew she was referring to my mother. But I wasn't going to let that rule my life. I had enjoyed working here. It felt like I was helping. The only reason I had stopped before was when my mom had gotten sick.

"Yeah, I'll be fine. I really want to get back to normal."

She nodded understandingly.

"In which case I'd love to have you back. The only problem is that Tasha has also asked if she could have an internship. I'll have to speak with my boss before I agree to take you both on."

I nodded.

"Okay." I was about to leave it, when an idea suddenly hit me. "What if I start training to be an actual nurse? I can do the exams and everything...I'd really like to."

Elisabeth's eyes widened with joy. She beamed and nodded.

"I think that would be a wonderful idea! You'd have to fill in an application; I could help you with that if you like."

"That would be great if you're not too busy."

"Good. Whilst you're application is processed, I can see if you could come back as a volunteer. I'm sure that wouldn't be a problem, and it could take a couple of weeks for your application to be looked at."

I grinned at her.

"When can I start?"

"Well I'll just clarify with my manager, but if you want to get here at tomorrow at nine that shouldn't be a problem. I'll let you know if there is an issue."

I nodded excitedly.

"Okay then. I'll see you tomorrow."

I started to get up to leave, but Elisabeth called me back. I sat back down and looked at her.

"Are you doing anything later?" She asked.

"Umm, well it's Max's birthday, so I think Hunter was on about going to Boylan's for some drinks. Why?"

"Oh well, I was going to invite you around ours. We're celebrating. It's been exactly two years to the day that we first came here. Mark's coming, and I think Jim said he'd invite Taylor."

"What time would it be?"

"About six, but if you're busy it doesn't matter."

I didn't really want to refuse as I got on really well with Josh's family. It was nice being around a normal family. My mom and I had often gone around to the Shannon's for meals.

"I'd love to come. I'll just meet the guys a bit later for drinks."

Elisabeth grinned.

"Brilliant! Well I'd love it if you could make it. If you want to come around at six, that would be great. I know Josh would be happy if you made it."

My heart sank slightly when she mentioned Josh, but I forced myself to nod and smile.

"I'll see you tonight then. Bye."

"Bye Skye."

I quickly made my exit and flew out of the hospital. It was a lovely warm day. I gazed up at the bright blue sky. Fluffy, white clouds filled the blue. A cool breeze floated through the air. I loved when the weather was like this. I decided to head up toward the memorials. As my visit hadn't gone so well yesterday, I felt obliged to go again.

I went the long way round, deliberately walking through the orchard. I wanted to pick some flowers to lie on my mom's grave. Her favourite flowers had been orchids. I had only ever seen pictures of them, and I knew that they didn't grow around here. But I did know of some flowers which resembled orchids. I quickly found some and gathered a bouquet of pink and purple blooms.

I paced toward the memorials, smelling the scented flowers. They had quite a powerful odour, not one that I particularly liked, but I knew that my mom would have appreciated them.

I could see someone in the distance standing in front of one of the graves. I thought nothing of it until I got closer, and saw the long scars on the back of his neck. What the hell was he doing here? I thought.

"Lucas?"

My voice sounded timid. He had the stance of a predator, ready to spring for its prey. I got the feeling that he was not going to be in one of his better moods, especially after spending the night with Taylor.

He flinched slightly at the sound of my voice. When he turned to face me, I involuntarily took a step back. His eyes were dark and full of malice. No emotion was on his face and he glared at me.

"What do you want?" He snapped.

I approached slowly, like he was some dangerous animal. He remained completely motionless, his eyes only moving as he watched my every step.

"I came to put flowers on my mom's grave."

I held up the bunch of colourful blossoms in my hand. His eyes flicked to the flowers then back at my face.

"It's not fair." He growled.

I frowned, feeling uneasy. The expression on his face shifted as he let slip some of his emotions. He looked miserable, and I felt the need to wrap my arms around him.

"What's not?"

"All of these insignificant people get their own graves whilst my mother gets to rot in a pit with a hundred other decaying bodies."

I swallowed, pain for him welling up in my chest. I risked taking another step closer. Now only a few paces separated us.

"I'm sorry." I whispered, unsure of what else I could say.

My mom was still here with me in a way. It felt like her presence still lingered here. Lucas didn't have that. He was as far away as humanly possible from his mother. I felt like crying for him.

His expression remained hard as he stared at me. I glanced behind him at the grave he had been looking at. The name Katherine Bell was carved into the white marble. I frowned, not recognising the name.

"Who's Katherine Bell?" I questioned.

His eyes went ablaze with rage and remorse. I swallowed again, feeling vulnerable all of sudden.

"She's no one." He spat back at me.

I flinched backward as he moved; afraid he was going to punch me. He ignored me and stormed off. I watched as he left. My head turned back to the grave. I again wondered who she was. Her name wasn't familiar. I made a mental note to ask Taylor.

My parent's graves were three rows back from hers. I slowly walked toward them. I split the flowers I had picked in half, and placed half on my mom's and half on my dad's. I glanced back in the direction Lucas had gone. He was nowhere in sight. I felt like I should go after him and make sure he was okay. I seemed to have a knack for calming him down. But I decided against the idea.

Lucas had looked like he needed some space. Instead I stayed with my mom and dad, and tried to recall meeting someone named Katherine Bell.