Chapter 25:
The morning came, and as usual Elizabeth was the first to wake. It was still very early, so she was in no hurry; she could peacefully observe the similarities between Georgina and her love. She looked so much like him, it perplexed Lizzy; how can a woman look so exactly like a man, and still look so beautiful being a woman? How can the same face look so delicate, and so strong at the same time? It was truly a mystery to her. She hoped some day she might call that angel her sister; though she dreaded having the Queen as mother-in-law, or having all those annoying royal duties, she could not imagine her life without William.
You've gotten yourself into a right big hole; neither option is desirable, really. Either you cut yourself off from Will, or you live the tedious life of a royalty… You know you can't have both; you can't be with him and be free at the same time. Something's got to give.
You really know how to destroy a perfect morning, don't you?
I'm your conscience! It is my duty to worry.
Yeah, well, you could take a break sometimes… not like you have to worry about keeping your job….
No, the fired one will be you… actually, both of us. We need to find a job, and soon.
She was right; she barely had enough money saved for the down payment of a small apartment; she needed to survive somehow, and she wasn't going to let go of her freedom so fast. But for now, she needed to worry about getting Georgi back to her mother in time.
"Gerogi, dear, it's time to wake up." She didn't move. This is going to be harder than I thought…Maybe I shouldn't have pondered so long…
"Georgi…" she called her in a whisper. Nothing. "Come on, Georgiana, wake up or your mother will hang me!" she pleaded, with a rather encouraging mumble from her.
"What time is it?" she asked, once she finally realized where she was.
"It's time for you to get out of bed. Here, you can change into these" said Lizzy. "Come down to breakfast when you are finished, and then we can leave."
Georgiana took longer than ever to dress, and Lizzy was worried they might be late. The last think I need today is to be late in taking back the daughter of the Queen… Finally she came down, and passing a cereal bar to her Lizzy led her out the doors.
"Have you seen the papers today, m'am?" asked the driver who was already waiting for them.
"No… anything interesting?"
"Well… it's mostly about you…"
"I was expecting it." Lizzy sighed "great for my career; imagine a resume of a lawyer, with an asterisk and small print at the bottom "Appeared in several tabloid magazines for a romantic involvement with the Prince"… just super."
"Come on Lizzy, the people are happy for you! Besides… I doubt you can have a career being married to the King, you know. Marriage in the royal family is a full time job." Georgi intervened.
"Your brother hasn't proposed, Georgi" answered Lizzy, worried that false rumors would leak out from the car.
"But he will! I know he will. There is no other woman for him, Lizzy, you know that very well!"
"Georgiana, who your brother chooses to marry is a decision he alone can make. Only future can tell… No buts" that left Georgiana quiet for a while, and Elizabeth read through the (not tabloid sized) papers.
"You know… you sound like you didn't want to marry him…"
"It's not that… please Georgiana, don't misinterpret me, I love your brother dearly, but…. It's complicated."
"…and I'm too young to understand, is that it?" she asked, hurt and annoyed.
"georgiana!" Lizzy sighed desperately. How am I expected to explain something to a 16-year old, when I can't even understand things myself?!
Finally they arrived to Buckingham, on time. The Queen was, of course, already up and waiting… though she didn't seem to expect them. Reaching the door to the room where she was waiting, they caught the end of what seemed like a fiery discussion.
"…and I can't believe you let her stay there! In a bachelor's apartment! This is scandalous!" apparently, William was being reproached, for something that was not his fault. I sense this is going to be one of those days… But the worst was still to come. The doors were finally opened, and they went in.
"Good morning dear." Greeted the mother, without any signs of having seen Elizabeth… which she did not notice, as she was busy being shocked at the presence of a certain fellow I can't believe he is here! I completely forgot about him… This can't end well.
"Elizabeth, I see you did not mourn my absence for long.." greeted her Wikham.
"Oh darling, don't kid yourself, you have not been away long enough for me to mourn you" she answered in a whisper only he could hear "then again, you'd have to be away for eternity for your absence to even begin to be noticeable" she grinned inside. Finally, a victory!
"… and I Hope, for your sake that this does not find its way to the tabloids tomorrow, we have enough articles about you two from yesterday to fill the Themes!" scorned the Queen her son. Elizabeth looked at her love, and sent a little "I love you I'm sorry" with her eyes and smile, which she saw returned in the glimpse of a moment.
"Now, Miss Bennett, we have to talk about your job. I am afraid you can no longer work for the Royal Family." That was rather direct, though not unexpected.
"I am already searching for a new job, Ma'am." She did not seem to even take notice of this. Fortunately, before the hawk could bite again, the door was opened asking urgently for the Queen on some matter or other. She excused herself gracefully, and left the three alone.
"I suppose I should leave the 'love-birds' alone to enjoy their moments together… However may I remind you, William, that we have a very important meeting in about an hour. I'd be there on time, if I were you." Wikham stated.
"Especially knowing you won't be there on time…" argued William. Tension seemed to be rising but it all diffused away as the door was opened once again with the tea. Wikham left, though not without a plan to take revenge. George Wikham was not one whom it was clever to humiliate.
"Your mom seemed pi- uhm, pretty angry." Elizabeth went closer to Will.
"She was. Really, she worries way too much about 'looks'. Though, I suppose she is right, to some extent… Have you seen what they wrote about yesterday?? It is ridiculous!" he seemed exhausted, though not necessarily from lack of sleep.
"No, decided it's not very healthy to read news today" she answered, giving a tired little wink "It's better not know, so you don't get annoyed… why, what did they say?" Will gave a little laugh at this
"What, you don't want to remain healthy?"
"I smoke, dear, that should give a hint. Besides, it's not like I'm reading it… I'll just hear it, from you, and that really takes most of the sour part away!"
"You're a big girl now, I suppose you know what you are doing."
"Spit it out already, I'm getting curious!" again, a cute little laugh that assured him yet again of who the perfect woman for him is. Only Elizabeth could make him laugh when the only good thing in his life seemed to be her… then again, she also got top priority, above everything and anything else.
"Some words about lack of responsibility, losing mind, losing respect… losing face…"
"Who would write that? Come on, really, what's wrong with…" she took a deep sigh; she really didn't want to get all worked up about this.
"Well, apparently either it was a desperate attempt to show the world I am human, which apparently was not so obvious, or it was even suggested, and this truly shows how remarkably creative some of these tabloid journalists are, you are my one-night-stand who has gotten pregnant, and before our upcoming rushed marriage we want to show the world we really are in love so there won't be any questions!" his face sour now at the remembrance of such articles (yes, believe it or not, a great number of magazines published these ludicrous allegations), William really ruined the previously jovial atmosphere of the room.
"Don't worry about it. Don't worry about anything darling, everything will be all right." She tried to make him feel better, but she was unnerved herself.
"You're here, with me finally." He said. They were sitting on one of those very fancy 18th century sofas which, though terribly uncomfortable, was wide enough for them both to sit, arm in arm. Lizzy had her head on his shoulders, but now her head was raised and they looked into each other's eyes. "There is nothing I wouldn't do for you, you know that. Nothing. I love you and I-" but he was cut off by Georgina, who came back, now less angry.
"Lizzy, I'm sorry. I… it was the morning and I had to wake up early, and I didn't have my favorite doll and…"
"Why, what happened?" asked William curiously, and a rather annoyed at the intrusion which, though not unwelcome, had a terrible timing.
"Nothing dear, it's between Georgi and me. We are allowed to have our secrets too don't we?" she winked at the younger, and they both laughed.
"Well, I have to go." He said, giving a chaste kiss to Lizzy "I have an important meeting I cannot be late to" he laughed "I'll see you later. Tell me, where do you want to go?"
"Anywhere the wind blows, doesn't really matter to me" she winked.
"You're a funny girl, aren't you?" he bent down to kiss her again, and they agreed to meet later in the afternoon in their usual, quiet and isolated place.
The day passed quietly for Elizabeth, who was sitting at her kitchen table, looking for jobs and a place to live. It was hard, because everything was so expensive, she really could not afford just a very small apartment in a sort-of respectable place. And, obviously, she didn't want financial support from anyone, least of all Wiliam. She prided herself in being able to support herself, and she wanted to maintain that as long as she could. Obviously, if she was to marry, that would not be entirely possible… Thinking about marriage again, are we? You haven't been back together for a week and you think of marriage??
It was YOU who brought it up. Really! The places your mind gets to from an innocent, unrelated thought!
May I remind you that MY mind is the same as YOUR mind…
That's totally unrelated. Besides… what's wrong with some fantasizing? I know he is the only one I would want to live a life with.
But you can't live a life with him, don't you realize!! A life with him is no life for you. You wouldn't be able to work, do what you love the most!
Why do you have to make things this complicated!? I love him, and he loves me. Together we can figure out everything.
There are some things that just cannot be. If you become his wife… You will be Queen. A Queen has certain responsibilities; you will never be able to be yourself truly again.
He would never ask me to change! He loves me for who I am right now. Not who I may become.
No, but the situation itself, your position, the country… your dear mother-in-law would. Just stop being in denial and admit you cannot have both things!
Why couldn't I??
Come on. Really. You're not this stupid or immature.
Elizabeth really had a troubled mind. She was facing a difficult choice, hypothetically speaking of course, and she did not know what she would choose if it came to be reality. Though her heart said something… her mind had a completely different view of things.
I suppose… We could still be together, and I wouldn't have to be Queen…
Are you seriously suggesting what I think you are? How can you be so selfish?? Asking him to give up his throne!! You're mad!
Life is SO unfair!!
Yes, it is. It is a lesson we all have to learn, and though we may be facing Sophie's choice, there is no way that any solution may be got by whining over what we cannot have; the perfect life. Or is there?