Disclaimer: I do not own D. Gray-man.

(Also, just a heads up, this is a part of the manga I really don't remember much about so if details are foggy I apologize. This will be taking a turn for the more original, soon, since it's getting to the point where we last saw the exorcists from the Order.)

Chapter 25

The peaceful calm that had settled over the Order for those still remaining there couldn't have lasted long. Kanda had returned, yes, but it soon became clear to those who spoke with him that he didn't plan to stay long. This hardly came as a surprise to anyone, but what truly shocked everyone in the Order was when a sudden, emergency order was given to all exorcists.

Miranda couldn't imagine hurting Allen. Even as she numbly followed Marie down the hall to search the lower levels of the building. When they reached the area where the cells were, or had been, Miranda couldn't help a wide-eyed look around at the wreckage. She slowly walked around, "I don't think Allen will be in the building..."

"I know. He's near the end of the cliff. I can hear him, if I focus hard enough," Marie said simply. "Lenalee is the only person from the Order, there."

"We're letting him get away, aren't we?" Miranda kept her voice down. If it was found out they were going against such an order then anyone involved could be tried and executed for treason against the Vatican.

"Not if anyone else asks us. We'll say we saw him, but didn't have enough time to stop him before he was gone. So long as no CROW agents find him, or see Lenalee letting him get away, then no one but us will know," Kanda had initially come up with the idea that, if the order was ever given to kill Allen or recapture him they would find a way to stall those plans. Marie, Lenalee, and General Tiedoll had come up with the finer details of such plans. They had thought of various circumstances that could lead to the need of such actions and how they could be handled.

Miranda hadn't been included in this planning. Everyone had decided that, if it was found out, she would be the one person that it would be best to have safe. Marie had thought of that part of the plan, despite a twinge of guilt about knowing what kind of pain it would put her through if the plans really were discovered.

"I-I'm glad he'll be able to get away..." Miranda whispered softly, "I wish I had done more to help him. Him and Lenalee, they saved me from that town... I owe them both so much and I wasn't even able to pay that debt. Not even through helping them."

"Don't feel bad, Miranda. They both think you've done more than enough," Marie assured gently and hugged her. He paused when he heard the telltale sound of an Ark gate closing. Allen must have left. He could only hope that the younger exorcist would be okay, on his own.

Miranda could tell something had changed when Marie thoughtfully tipped his head in the direction that he said Allen had gone, "He's left, hasn't he?"

"I think so. I can't tell for certain. Lenalee is coming back, though. He must have left," Marie nodded. "We won't speak of any of this from now on, okay Miranda? Even if you don't think anyone is close enough to hear, I need you to promise not to say a word about this."

"I won't say a word about it, Marie," she agreed with a soft nod. She was quiet the whole time they walked away from the levels of the Order they had been sent to search. When they reached the top of the stairs that led to the main level of the new building, Miranda softly said, "Marie... I think I'm going to go to my room for awhile. If you don't feel like you need to talk, right now, that is." The last part was added in a smaller, quieter voice. She just didn't think she could really handle being around someone else, even Marie, at the moment. The day's sudden occurrence and knowing that Allen would be on his own from then on left her feeling uneasy.

"Do whatever you need to, to take care of yourself. If you need some time alone, then take it," Marie said gently, "Everyone needs a quiet moment to themselves every once in awhile."

Miranda was quiet for a long time before she hugged him. She felt so worthless. She shouldn't have been the one upset at the moment. She wasn't risking her life like the ones who had plotted to keep Allen safe from the CROW had. Speaking of the CROW, Miranda couldn't help wondering what had become of Link. The order given had reported that he had been injured, but he wasn't in the destroyed cell. She would have to ask Marie if he knew anything, later. With her thoughts still heavy with guilt and self-loathing she returned to her room with a heavy, slow step. How were things falling apart again? She just couldn't bring herself to understand it. They had gotten better for awhile.

She stopped walking when she passed a teary-eyed Lenalee. The girl was wiping at her eyes and trying to act as if she weren't on the verge of tears.

Miranda watched Lenalee pass with a terribly saddened look. After a few moments, she got herself to say, "Lenalee... Things will turn out okay, all right? J-Just try to stay positive..."

"Yeah, thanks Miranda..." Lenalee whispered. Her world was coming apart. The world she would give her life to keep together was falling apart and there was nothing she could do about it. She just didn't think she could manage to hold on like she was, anymore.

"I'm here to talk, if you ever need it," she whispered softly. She walked to her room without pausing. She couldn't bring herself to see Lenalee's sad face any longer.

She laid down with a heavy sigh and closed her eyes. Things really were going to ruin. There was no way there were enough exorcists to keep fighting in the war successfully. She just couldn't see a way that they would be able to get much further. Miranda couldn't help wondering if the Noah really were serious in their goals to wipe out humans entirely. She rolled over and stared at the wall for a long time. Her eyes filled with tears over and over, but never once she did she truly shed any. She gave another long sigh before finally getting up. The least she could do was go work on raising her synchronization rate. Even if the best way they had found was repeatedly expanding her barriers and the range of her abilities she could still at least do that.

When she got to a part of the Order where she would bother anyone she tried to activate Time Record. Despite her attempts she couldn't focus her attention enough to do anything. With a feeling of frustration Miranda returned to her room. Sleep wouldn't come, either, and all she could do was toss and turn on her bed.

Marie wasn't much better off than Miranda. He couldn't help an unending sense of paranoia. Every sound had him turning his head this way and that, almost as if it were an instinct to see what was around him despite it having been nine years since he had lost his sight. Sleep evaded him, too, but he didn't go to sit up with Miranda despite hearing her awake. He would respect that she needed some time to herself, at the moment.

With a long, deep sigh Marie stood and went to walk around. There were some parts of the Order that no one inhabited. They were at least a little quiet. All of the sounds were further muffled and he could get a moment of peace. Especially if he took off his headphones.

He finally found a hallway where he could only her the light murmurs of late-night cafeteria goers. He sat down and leaned back against the wall along the edge of the hallway. It was chilly, and he regretted not bringing wearing his jacket, but he was still able to just relax for a moment.

His thoughts wandered from wondering if the plan would ever be found out to if Miranda was okay and many thoughts in between. As they drifted to darker places he shook his head. There would be no use letting him get so worked up and worried over nothing. With that thought in mind he anchored the strings of Noel Organon to the floor a few feet in front of himself so he could hold the strings at a reasonable length to play. He carefully began strumming out a tune.

Marie's playing wasn't obsessive or mournful as it had been after he thought Kanda had died. It was a light little tune, despite his thoughts and mood, that at least kept his mind off of things. As opposed to most things he played this wasn't a song memorized from long ago. He made it up as he went. Eventually he ran out of notes he thought sounded right and slowly plucked out a few more notes before stopping. He had been so focused on the notes that for once he'd not noticed someone approaching.

"That sounded nice," Miranda murmured softly.

Marie gave a little start. He was hardly used to being surprised, so his reaction was a small big exaggerated.

Seeing that she had surprised him, Miranda quickly apologized, "Oh, I'm so sorry, Marie! I thought you had noticed me!"

"It's fine, Miranda. And thank you, for saying that my playing sounded nice. I was just making all of that up as I went along, so I was afraid it wouldn't sound very good," he responded softly.

"Most things you play sound wonderful, you know," she murmured softly, "You're a very gifted musician. I think your innocence is fitting, because of that."

"Perhaps it is. I have been interested in music all of my life. Even when I was younger, I played the piano quite often. Then I went on to learn quite a few other kinds of instruments," he explained softly and ran his thumb over the rings on the fingers of the same hand that housed the strings for Noel Organon.

"I always wanted to learn to play an instrument, but my parents said I needed to focus on other things... I still wish I could learn how to play piano," she sighed. After a few moments pause she cautiously inched closer, "Is it okay if I rest my head on your shoulder?" Her movements were slow and she was being as noisy about them as she could.

When she inched closer like that he couldn't help an amused expression, "Miranda, you don't have to worry about startling me again, now that I know you're here. You can lay your head on my shoulder."

Her eyebrows arched up slightly and her face went red when he mentioned her avoiding scaring him, "I'm sorry! I didn't mean to offend you! It's just that I'm not really around you without your headphones on, much. I wasn't sure if you could hear as well!" Her voice stammered a little. It was almost tearful, and her eyes stung a bit. The day had been stressful, and it seemed that that, combined with having just possibly offended him terribly, had her apologizing in a shaky voice again.

"It's okay, Miranda," Marie quickly reassured her, "I promise you, it's okay. You didn't offend me, I appreciate that you wanted to make sure not to startle me again. That was very sweet of you."

"I probably insulted you, oh, I'm so, so sorry... I'm so sorry," she apologized again as the tears brimmed over. She stuffed the knuckles of one hand against her mouth in hopes of hiding her shaky breathing. She ignored her teeth digging lightly into her hand.

"You didn't insult me, Miranda," Marie's voice was mellow. He kept his tone calm and his movements even more calm as he gently hugged her. "You don't have to feel bad, you don't have to get this upset. You're not the first person to do this, and you certainly won't be the last. You've gone about it in the kindest way, though, Miranda." He gently rubbed her back and moved so he could lightly press her head against his shoulder so she would have something to cry on.

Miranda relaxed against him and pressed her forehead more firmly against his shoulder. She still cried a little, but her shoulders had ceased trembling and her breathing had steadied out. "I'm sorry... I shouldn't have gotten so upset. I must seem like such a fool for overreacting like this..."

"You're not a fool. You've had a trying day. We all have. I think any of us are about ready to break down at the slightest push," he told her gently and continued to rub her back. It was times like these that she always seemed to petite and vulnerable, like someone he had to protect. "You're not as used to stressful situations as we are."

"I'm not even risking my life like all of you are... I shouldn't be this upset. It's not like I'm putting myself in danger, like you all are," she almost whimpered that as she fought to keep her voice from wavering and breaking.

"But you know that you'll lose even more people you're close to, if we do get caught. That's reason enough to be upset, Miranda. You don't have to feel guilty, or feel like your emotions aren't valid because your position isn't as dangerous as ours. Seeing others suffer... It can be almost as hard as being the one suffering in a different way," Marie assured softly. He gently rocked, rocking her with him, in hopes that it would further calm her down.

"I don't have a right to be upset, Marie. I never do anything to help anyone and I just sit around and complain like anyone actually cares," she whispered. Her voice broke as she tried to force away the lump in her throat.

"You've helped plenty of people, Miranda. You've saved so many lives, and even if there were some you couldn't save, I guarantee every single one of us would be dead by now if it weren't for your abilities. You have given us a fighting chance in this war, Miranda, one that we lost the second that the Noah showed up," Marie kept his voice low and soft as he hugged her a bit tighter. He stilled and just continued to rub her back and hold her close.

"But what good am I if I can't save everyone? What about people who have lost friends because finders had to protect me...?" tears ran over again and she was trying to keep her voice calm and still. She had begun shaking again. She clung to him tighter now, as if he were the only thing grounding her. "I should have helped so many more people but I never did. And now I'm too upset to even activate Time Record to practice. I'm letting people down by being lazy! By being worthless!" Her voice had raised in pitch.

"Miranda-" he was cut off by her continued crying and rambling. "Miranda! Please, calm down. You are wonderful, you are amazing. You are so much more than the Order could have asked for. Your abilities saved everyone on the Ark, even if you couldn't save everyone on that ship you at least managed to save a few people. I know it's hard to let people go, but it's better to save a few than to be left all alone. If you had been here nine years ago, Miranda, I don't think you understand how much could have been changed." How many people would have lived had they had an ability as wonderful as hers back then? He didn't think he would be able to imagine how much things would have changed.

Miranda stopped crying for a moment. After awhile, she softly asked, "Would... Would I really have been able to make a difference in anything?"

"Yes, Miranda. Your abilities are unlike anything the Order has ever seen and it's so incredible the things you're able to do," Marie assured her softly. He held her close and pressed his lips to the top of her head. "You shouldn't be so down on yourself, Miranda. You're strong, brave, capable, and you're kind. You are so, so kind."

Miranda stayed quiet for a long while. She opened her mouth a few times but no words came. When finally she found the nerve to speak, she quietly whispered, "Thank you... Thank you for saying all of those things for me. To make me feel better. You're truly amazing, too." She stayed like that for some time. When she finally pulled away from the hug it was to wipe at her eyes. "I should be the one reassuring you. I'm sorry about everything, but if it's not too much trouble, do you maybe want to go to the library?" Her question was hesitant.

Marie sat quietly through her long silence. He could tell she needed the time to gather her thoughts. When he felt her slowly move to sit up he quickly loosened his arms around her so that she could sit up without trouble. Her question brought a slight smile to his face, "Going to the library sounds wonderful, Miranda."

Without words, Miranda stood. She gently took Marie's hand as he stood, and held onto it as they walked to the library. The only sounds in the halls were their breathing and footsteps. When they got to the library, Miranda lightly opened the door for him. She followed him into the library and walked over to find a book. She found one of the more lighthearted books that she had discovered recently. It would do them good to read something light and cheerful.

Marie had sat down on one of the couches and waited for Miranda to come back. He gently hugged Miranda when she took a seat beside him.

They spent a good portion of the night that way. Miranda read quietly and cuddled against him. She eventually had to stop reading because she got the hiccups. Her shoulders gave a little jump as she jumped again. "Sorry, I think I need to stop reading-" she hiccuped again, "Now."

"It's fine," Marie carefully took the book, "Try holding your breath."

Miranda had already tried that, but she tried it again, then. She ended up hiccuping before she even held her breath for long enough to do any good. She gave a small sigh, which was interrupted by a hiccup, as well. "That didn't work." She made a small noise of discomfort the next time she hiccuped. "I might have to go get a glass of water from the cafeteria. Sorry. I'll be right back, you can stay," she was interrupted by another hiccup, "Here."

"All right, I hope the water helps," Marie nodded. He stayed put. Miranda would likely think that she had troubled him had he gone with her. He supposed it was rather selfish that he stayed there, too, since the sound was beginning to grate on his nerves.

Miranda had already gone to get a glass of water. She was gone for almost five minutes; it was reasonable considering the walk to the cafeteria and actually drinking the water until her hiccups went away. When she got back she apologized again as she settled down beside him. "Do you want me to keep reading?"

"That depends, would you like to keep reading?" Marie could tell her voice was getting a bit tired from how she spoke. He didn't want her to feel like she had to keep reading if her voice needed a break and she knew it.

"I think I'm done reading, for now," she admitted and leaned against him, "Would it be okay if we just stayed like this for some time?"

"That would be perfect," he murmured softly. He wrapped an arm back around her.

That was how the two of them stayed for the rest of the night. Neither could really say if they had slept much during the night, but they had both certainly dozed a few times.

A/N: