Debriefing Riggs

Season 2

Episode 7

Birdwatching

Todd opened a bottle of wine, one of Brooks' favorites, and poured him a generous amount. In the back played some low key music and while he waited for his partner to join him, he picked up his book and resumed reading.

Brooks smiled; the homely scene was just what he needed after another mad day at the precinct. He moved into Todd's arms and made himself comfortable on the couch.

Todd put the book aside and frowned. "What's wrong?" Brooks was terrible at hiding his feelings; it was one of the many things he loved about the man. What you saw was what you got. Brooks never played games - he was always up front. The only thing that still needed work was the fact that Brooks tended to brood; to keep those things to himself that he thought would burden his partner. Todd however was more than willing to support his lover. "Let me guess, is this about Martin?" He'd grown fond of the Texan during the times he'd visited. He wished he could convince Martin that he wasn't invading their privacy, but the Texan was stubborn.

"I'm afraid so." Brooks hadn't wanted to bring it up, unwilling to ruin the romantic setting and the evening Todd had planned.

"What 's going on? I've never seen you this preoccupied. Things are getting worse then?" If he could help, he would.

"Martin made a rookie mistake and it's because he hasn't been sleeping. He's scared to sleep because of the nightmares. They're getting worse and he refuses to discuss them with Cahill. I asked her, and she said Martin keeps it locked away. It's eating him alive. If only he'd trust her!"

"He trusts you," Todd mused. "Maybe you should talk to him?"

"I tried, but he's running. Each time I corner him, he finds some reason to get the hell out of the precinct." Brooks frowned. "I'm not sure I'm the right person for him to talk to at any rate. He needs professional help. I can't give him that."

"You can give him something he needs even more; acceptance and a home. He trusts you for a reason, love. Don't doubt yourself like that." Todd kissed his lover's lips, but knew better than to start something. Brooks wasn't in the mood for it as his partner's thoughts circled around Martin Riggs. He respected that and held Brooks close instead. "What are those nightmares about?" Maybe discussing it would help Brooks in turn.

"His father. Nathan Riggs is a nasty piece of work. I told you about him beating up Martin regularly, preferably with his belt. I unsealed Martin's juvenile records the other day. Do you have any idea how many times he had to see a doctor for some so-called hunting accident? Way too many. There are lots of detailed reports regarding his injuries. Let it suffice to say they were severe and many."

As a trauma surgeon, he regularly operated on domestic abuse victims, who often suffered severe head trauma. He knew from personal experience how bad things could get. "And this friend of him, Jake, shot Nathan when he was beating up Martin again?" Brooks had told him bits and pieces, but not the whole story.

"Martin told me what happened that evening. He says his father was set on murdering him and I believe him. I've read up on Nathan Riggs, who has been in and out of prison on several charges. He's currently doing time for armed robbery. The man has a history of violence." He shifted slightly and rested his head against Todd's shoulder. "Jake shot Nathan that evening, but didn't kill him. While reading those files, I wished he'd done so after all."

"This really affects you." Todd wasn't surprised, not really. He'd quickly realized there was a really sensitive guy beneath the cop routine when they'd first started dating. It was one of the things that still attracted him to Brooks.

"It's wishful thinking," Brooks admitted. "But I can't help but wonder what will happen when Nathan gets out one day. He isn't doing life, so they have to release him eventually."

"Martin has you," Todd comforted his troubled lover, caressing his face and pressing another kiss onto Brooks' brow. "You do know that I'm fine with Martin moving in with us, don't you?"

"Yeah, I do, and I love you for it." He felt bad for neglecting his lover and rambling on about Martin instead, but he worried!

"Maybe you should call him, invite him over." A look at the clock told him it was ten PM and maybe a bit late for a social call, but he doubted Martin was asleep at any rate.

Brooks was about to reply when the doorbell interrupted him. He looked at Todd in surprise, but then realization set in. "There's only person I can think of who would show up at this hour."

"Let him in and talk to him. Make sure he gets to bed safely." Todd gestured for Brooks to get moving. "I'll head upstairs and give you two some privacy. However, if you need me, let me know. I have your back, you know that."

"I do," Brooks confirmed as he got to his feet, thankfully he hadn't changed into his pajamas yet. He hurried to answer the door, scared Martin might reconsider and take off again. And yes, the Texan was turning to leave the moment he opened the door. Boy, did Martin look bad! His hair was a mess, the eyes bloodshot, and dark rings had formed beneath them. A quick look told him that Martin's hands trembled and he shuffled his feet nervously, looking like a deer caught in the headlights.

"Sorry, I shouldn't have come here," Martin apologized, ready to take off again. What the hell was he doing here?

"Come inside," Brooks said and grabbed Martin's wrist, making sure the Texan couldn't run away again. "I'm glad you're here. I worried." He checked Martin's eyes, which appeared haunted, and he was under the impression the Texan was drunk. Not a good way to start.

Martin allowed Brooks to pull him inside. He didn't want to head back to the trailer anyway. His father waited for him there, making him breakfast in his dreams and serving him skin and bones in his nightmares. Nathan Riggs had poisoned his sanctuary. Not even Miranda could keep out the monster.

Brooks proceeded to guide Martin into the living room, where Todd was waiting for them. "Martin's staying the night."

"That's great," Todd replied, trying to reassure Martin, who looked sleep-deprived. The younger man fiddled with his coat, obviously trying to do away with his restless energy. "I'm making hot chocolate, do you want some, Martin?"

Todd's question took him aback, since Martin wasn't really paying attention to his surroundings or the two of them. He was busy fighting off Nathan's shadow which continued to tower over him, suffocating him.

"We'd both love some," Brooks decided for Martin. Todd went into the kitchen to prepare the hot drink and Brooks used the moment to guide Martin over to the couch. "Sit down before you collapse. When was the last time you slept? You look exhausted." It was more than that though, Martin looked broken, he realized with a heavy heart.

Martin collapsed onto the couch. He didn't know why he was here, or maybe that was a lie and he did know? Brooks made him feel safe, that was why he was here.

"Martin, I tried to talk to you at the precinct today, but you've been avoiding me." Brooks sat down and frowned at seeing the disconnected look on Martin's face. Physically the other man was here, but emotionally? Not so.

"I've been having these nightmares," Martin heard himself say, wondering why he was talking while he wanted to stay quiet instead. Part of his brain must be rebelling. "About my old man." He'd also told Roger, but had refused to elaborate. After his latest nightmare had left him shaken to the core, he'd decided to call on Brooks, hoping his captain wouldn't turn him away. "Then the nightmares got worse."

Brooks felt alarmed at hearing that. Martin's nightmares were bad, he knew that from personal experience. Something else had happened then, driving Martin over the edge.

At that moment Todd exited the kitchen and presented them with their hot chocolate. Martin accepted without realizing what he was doing, simply wrapping his fingers around the mug for heat. Todd had wanted to retire for the night, but seeing the state Martin was in, he reconsidered. It definitely looked as if Martin had drunk or resorted to other drugs. He ignored Brooks' questioning look when he sat down out of Martin's line of sight. He too wanted to keep an eye on the younger man.

Acting automatically Martin sipped and the hot chocolate gave him something to focus on, something to ground him. The taste, smell, and temperature tore him away from the thoughts running in circles in his mind. "It started off rather harmless," he heard himself say, as if listening to a stranger. "My dad made me breakfast."

Brooks exchanged an alarmed look with his lover. He'd never seen Martin this bad. Todd nodded, telling him he understood and supported him.

"He made me breakfast, can you imagine that?" Martin chuckled mirthlessly. "Turns out he was serving me skin and bone, fragments from where Jake had hit him. I choked and threw up."

Brooks' worries increased and Todd moved closer, sitting down next to him.

"Then, just now, I had another one. He was back at the trailer and placed a gun on the coffee table. I picked it up and aimed it at him." Martin sipped from his hot drink – something real in a world of terror. "He challenged me to do the thing I really wanted."

Brooks had the distinct feeling the worst was yet to come and he reached for Todd's hand, intertwining their fingers.

"Instead of shooting him, I wanted to kill myself." Martin scoffed. "He said I've got him inside me and he's right. I'm just like him. No matter what I do, I can't seem to get rid of him!" Drinking himself into oblivion hadn't helped either. He'd reached for the scotch the moment the nightmare had woke him up. Drinking hot chocolate was so anticlimactic that it made him chuckle.

"We can't leave him alone tonight," Todd said decisively.

Brooks concurred. "I'll stay with him for now. Get some sleep and relieve me in a few hours."

Todd considered their options. "And make him see Cahill first thing in the morning."

"I will," Brooks promised as he said goodnight to his lover, who went upstairs, leaving him to deal with Martin. "Finish that hot chocolate and then I'll tuck you in."

"Maybe I should talk to Cahill," Martin mused. "That last nightmare really got to me." He'd merely intended to think that, not say it aloud.

"That's an excellent idea, Martin." Brooks stopped the Texan from lying down on the couch. After retrieving the now empty mug from Martin's trembling fingers, he wrapped an arm around his shoulders, hoping it wouldn't trigger a violent reaction. "You need to get some sleep, Martin." But that was tricky. Sleeping meant suffering from nightmares. "I'll sit with you and wake you in case you're having a nightmare."

Martin was simply tired – tired of it all. "Can't you knock me out? Doesn't Todd keep any medication at home? I just don't want to dream. I'm okay with sleeping, but the nightmares…"

"Maybe I know of a solution," Brooks hinted as he guided Martin onto his feet. "How much did you drink?"

"Not that much. Some scotch and a couple of beers." He was tipsy, but a long way from drunk.

"That's a relief." While they'd talked Martin had started to calm down. "Let's do this." He pulled the younger man to his feet and guided him over to the staircase. Slowly, they made their way upstairs where he found the door to the guestroom open and the covers of the bed already turned down. "Sit down," he said, making sure Martin ended up on the bed instead of the floor.

Martin was tired and his eyes kept closing. He let Brooks do whatever his captain wanted.

Removing Martin's boots turned out harder than he'd thought, since his guest wasn't cooperating, but he managed. Now that the young man was curled up, he covered him with the duvet and tucked it in around the Texan. "Are you comfortable?" All he got for a response was a deep sigh, which he took for a yes.

Brooks wasn't prepared when Martin reached for him, wrapped an arm around him, and pulled him close. "So that's how it's gonna be?" he joked and moved along, knowing better than to fight the sleep drunk man. He lay down on his side, and although he felt awkward, encouraged Martin to move closer.

Martin was already half asleep and didn't even register pulling Brooks down with him. He curled up, feeling safe and warm for some odd reason. He wanted to stay that way.

Brooks didn't fight it. He understood why Martin couldn't be alone tonight. Martin moved closer and Brooks wrapped an arm around him, before the sleeping man rested his head against his shoulder. A moment later, Martin snored softly, asleep. Brooks rolled back his eyes and resigned to his fate, all the while wondering why these things happened to him.

"Well, I never suspected you'd end up in bed with him." Todd grinned naughtily, enjoying the picture they presented. "He's not your type at all!" Martin was sound asleep and Brooks looked ready to bolt. In spite of the seriousness of the situation, he enjoyed seeing his lover squirm."The two of you are adorable."

"This wasn't my idea!" Brooks pointed out and glared at his lover.

"Hey, I don't mind. Martin trusts you," Todd explained, growing serious again. "That's why he wants you close. After everything he went through, he's still able to trust. Do you know how amazing that is? And he chose you; keep that in mind. Now get some sleep, honey. I'll check on the two of you, but Martin might sleep through the night now that he isn't alone anymore."

Brooks preferred being in his own bed, holding Todd instead, but knew his partner was right. Martin trusted him and the young man needed him in order to feel safe. He wasn't going to desert him now.

/

His every instinct warned him that something was wrong. Waking up was something he did on his own, on his couch, and in his trailer. The warm body next to him therefore made him apprehensive. The fact that he was in a bed and not on his couch, made it even worse. What the hell had happened last night? Keeping his eyes tightly shut, he tried to deny the situation he currently found himself in. At least he still wore his clothes, which he counted as a win.

He should find out who he was in bed with. Realizing he'd wrapped his arms around that person told him that it was him holding on, making sure the other couldn't leave. That was the first thing he should rectify and he carefully loosened his hold on the other man. Man? Fuck, what was he doing in bed with another guy?

Panic set in and caused him to open his eyes. What had he done this time? Finding Brooks sound asleep next to him nearly freaked him out. Had he really dragged the older man into bed with him and held on? That was embarrassing!

What had made him do such a dumb thing? Nathan Riggs' ugly face suddenly appeared in front of him, grinning like mad. Seeing it made him flash back to that last, horrid nightmare he'd had in which he'd blown his own brains out, and not his father's.

Martin, suddenly gasping and struggling for breath, instantly woke Brooks, who sought out the young man's eyes. Damn, looked like he was experiencing another flashback! If only Cahill were here! She'd know what to do! "Martin? You're fine. Hey, listen to me and don't stay there. Don't let him win. Martin, can you hear me?" Since they were close, he cradled the younger man's face in his hands and turned his head toward him. "Look at me, Martin. You're safe!"

Just as fast as the flashback had sneaked up on him, it now released him from its crushing hold. Brooks' voice finally got through to him and he stared at the older man, surprised that he'd stayed close. Disgusted with his own behavior, he closed his eyes and tried to move away and give Brooks his space, but ended up with his back against the wall instead.

"Good, you're here again." Brooks had a pretty good idea where Martin's mind had gone. "Calm down and when you feel like it, go shower. Todd's probably making breakfast and I need to get ready too. We'll drive to the precinct together and you'll talk to Cahill." His tone left no room for discussion.

Meekly, Martin nodded. Yeah, he needed to talk to her, he was finally ready to admit that to himself. "I will," he promised and noticed Brooks' relief at hearing it. "Sorry for dragging you into this." Little by little he remembered driving over to Brooks' place, spilling his guts, and ending up asleep in the guestroom. He'd really made a fool out of himself this time.

"Don't be," Brooks said, upon seeing the guilt and shame in those brown eyes. "I'm glad you came here. My door's always wide open." He shuddered, trying hard not to think of all the terrible things that could have happened had Martin not come to him. This was the best possible outcome. "You ready to let me go now?" He grinned cheekily, hoping to diffuse the tension that way.

"Sorry," Martin offered again, only now realizing he'd tightened his hold on Brooks instead of releasing the man. "Don't know why I did that."

But Brooks didn't believe that. Martin needed to feel safe and he was more than willing to support him. "Hey, I'm honored you trust me to that extent," he said, recalling the things Todd had told him last night. He stretched, left their warm nest, and got to his feet. "No need to rush. Take your time and enjoy a long, hot shower." Martin didn't look entirely awake yet and he suspected a shower would help.

Martin elbowed himself into an upright position and nodded. "Thanks… for everything," he added after a moment's thought. He still felt confused, desperately trying to wrap his mind around what had happened last night. He'd told Brooks his worst fears and the older man hadn't turned him away.

"I'll see you downstairs. Grab some clean clothes, you might have spilled beer last night."

"I will." Martin knew he reeked of booze. So, apparently showering was his first mission: it was going to be a difficult day.

/

Todd wished he could help Martin deal with his past, but it was Brooks the Texan turned to and trusted. But he could show his acceptance and support by supplying breakfast, even though Martin mostly poked at the scrambled egg instead of eating it. At least he was downing the OJ and munched on some toast. Brooks was still upstairs and getting dressed. It didn't surprise him that Martin got to the kitchen first. "What did those eggs do to you that you keep stabbing them?"

Martin managed a weak smile. "I'm not hungry, sorry." He avoided looking at Todd, feeling ashamed for letting show how fucked up he really was. It was bad enough Brooks knew, but now Todd had seen him like that too.

Should he address last night or let it rest? Todd wasn't sure what the best course of action was, but something told him that pretending last night never happened wouldn't help Martin move on. "Did you manage to get some sleep last night? You still look exhausted."

Todd's question made Martin uncomfortable. "Sorry for hogging Brooks last night," he apologized. "I don't know why I did that."

"I don't mind sharing occasionally." Todd smiled reassuringly. "He makes a great portable heater."

Martin chuckled despite his worries. He really liked Todd. "Still, I shouldn't have done that."

"I don't think you planned it." Todd picked up his Rooibus tea and sat down next to his guest. "You do know that you're welcome to stay? Brooks and I would love for you to move in – no matter for how long."

"I can't do that," Martin whispered, feeling shy. He'd never expected Todd to make that offer.

"Think about it. Don't dismiss it yet." Todd took pity on Martin and poured him some real coffee, no decaf, thinking the man needed it. "We like having you here."

Martin bowed his head and stared at his coffee. He couldn't possibly ask them to take him on, not with his baggage. His crap would eventually ruin their friendship and he needed them; Brooks especially.

"Morning!" Brooks dashed into the kitchen and went straight for the coffee. "Ah, I need that!" After showering and dressing in his favorite suit he felt reborn. A look at Martin told him it was different for his detective. Well, it was still early and he hoped that once Martin talked to Cahill the day would improve for the Texan as well.

/

Brooks walked Martin to Cahill's office. She was already in, but busy and ignored them for the moment, something he was thankful for. He wanted a word with Martin before heading for the bullpen. "Talk to her. Tell her what you told me." Now that Martin had already told him, confiding in Cahill might be easier.

"Can I ask you for a favor?" Martin gingerly made eye contact and scratched his neck.

Whatever it was that Martin needed from him, asking for it was hard on the younger man. "Of course, what is it?" From inside the office, Cahill gave them worried looks.

"Can't you stay? I don't think I can do this on my own." The moment Cahill dived into his nightmares he'd freeze up, he just knew that as it had happened before. He'd distract her and flee the office. He needed someone like Brooks to make him sit through it and spill his guts.

"Are you sure about that?" Brooks hadn't seen that one coming, but maybe he should have. Martin felt safe with him and opening up to Cahill was hard.

"Yeah, I'm sure." Martin involuntarily held his breath, hoping Brooks would consent.

"Okay, I'll stay, but if you want me to leave at any point, just tell me!" If having him close made Martin tell Cahill about his father, he'd stick around. "Let's do this," he said, and opened the door to her office.

Maureen observed them and realized something that had previously eluded her. Riggs was comfortable around Avery. Maybe it was even more than that, seeing her patient remained in close proximity to the older man. When had they started to bond? It was the best thing that could happen to Martin Riggs, who needed as many surrogate family members as possible. "Morning, Riggs, captain."

They both nodded at her, acknowledging her presence and then went to sit on the couch. "Captain?" What was happening? She felt excited, wondering if something had finally clicked into place for Riggs.

"I asked him to stay," Martin said, trying hard to calm down. For some reason, his heart was going a million beats a minute, or at least it felt that way.

Cahill sat down and continued to study them. She smiled happily. Something good had finally come Riggs' way! "If that makes you comfortable, the captain is more than welcome to stay." So Riggs needed and wanted Avery's support? That was a huge step in the right direction.

"I think we should talk," Martin said after exchanging a look with Brooks, who nodded encouragingly. "About my old man. Brooks already knows what went down and wants me to tell you too."

Brooks? Cahill carefully hid her reaction. She measured the smile she gave him, not wanting to appear too eager. She desperately wanted to know why Riggs trusted Brooks to such an extent, but she would be careful. First, they had to address Nathan Riggs and that would be extremely taxing, on all of them.

TBC