The letters were written, I had a single backpack full of clothes and other necessities on my back; the bow and quivers sticking out of it, both of my blades in their sheaths around my waist and the stele still in my hand from drawing all the necessary runes. With one last look around my room, I snuck out into the hallways, knowing I was invisible and would make literally no sound, even if I spoke aloud no one would hear me. I couldn't help but seek Jace out one last time and I found him sitting at the desk in his room staring at something in front of him. Curiosity made me move forward to stand beside him and I looked down to see the sketch I'd done of the two of us. I'd only finished it this morning, he must have been looking for me earlier and seen it on my own desk; I hadn't even notice it was gone. It was rather simple; just a memory of the two of us in training that first day, when we stood looking at each other and laughing at something I could no longer remember. My eyes began to drip tears as I remembered how easy it had been back then and I struggled not to just reach out and touch him. Just one last time. But he would feel it and he'd know it was me. He always knew.

"I love you, Jace. I'm sorry." I ran out of there before I did something I would regret; not stopping until I made it to the portal, Hodge was in the room and I cussed under my breath. How was I going to get through without him noticing…?

"Good luck, Clarissa Fairchild." My eyes widened as Hodge stared through me. He knew I was there even without seeing me. "I cannot see you exactly, but the air is distorted a little from where you stand. I knew you would leave and I don't approve but I cannot stop you. So just be careful."

"Thankyou." My voice was a whisper and he couldn't hear it but I had to say it anyway, I was thankful. For everything he'd done for me these past weeks. Without another thought I jumped through the swirling blue portal that marked the end for me. For now.

Jace Point Of View

I hadn't seen Clary all day, I'd gone into her room earlier wondering if she was still asleep but she hadn't been there. I don't know why I felt the need to look through the sketchbook that always seemed to be on her desk but when I landed on the final sketch of the two of us… I had to take it. I needed something to remind me she was actually there even when her mind was elsewhere. Ever since her mother's disappearance she had been different… not all there. Her mind seemed to be in a million places at once and I tried my best to be there for her but I'd never been good at comforting people. Still… I actually wanted to be there for her. To have her talk to me. I actually loved her and it scared the hell out of me. I sighed and went to check her room again. There were two envelopes atop her bed and I got a sick feeling in my gut, my hands were shaking as I opened the one addressed to me. The other was for Sophie.

Jace,

I'm writing this watching the sun go down. You're asleep, dreams moving behind your restless eyelids. I wish I knew what you were thinking. I wish I could slip into your head and see the world the way you do. I wish I could see myself the way you do. I belong to you. As long as I can still dream, I will dream of you. If I had to tell you this to your face, I couldn't make myself go.

I don't know how to put this in a way you would accept or understand so I'm just going to say it; I've left. I've gone to find Valentine and stop all this madness. I can't keep putting you guys in danger. Every time I think about something happening to you because of me it leaves me feeling empty. Like I'd have nothing to go on for. I love you. I always will. Just know that I'll think of you every step of the way and if I survive this mission I'll come back to you. Valentine needs to die, for real this time and I will be the one to kill him. My being in New York was what started all of this; the Vampires in the Hotel Dumort were after me, not Simon. Don't come after me, Jace. Please. I couldn't live with myself if something happened to you. Just don't give up on me.

I remember when I met you; it was so clear that you were the only one for me. We both knew it right away. And as the days went on things got more difficult, we were faced with more challenges. You were charismatic, magnetic, electric; and everybody knew it. When you walked in, every woman's head turned. Everyone stood up to talk to you. You was like this hybrid, this mix; of a man who couldn't contain himself. I always got the sense that you became torn between being a good person and missing out on all of the opportunities that life could offer a man as magnificent as you. And in that way, I understood you. And I loved you. And I still love you. Forgive me.

Yours Forever

Clary.

I dropped the paper and ran to Hodge, we had to find her before she got herself killed. I promised to protect her and whether she wanted me to or not I would fulfil that promise. Hodge was hiding away in his greenhouse, he only went there if he was feeling incredibly troubled but I was too caught up in my own issues to worry all that much about his.

"Clary's gone." I shoved the letter at him and watched as he read through it, not for a second did he look surprised but there was sadness in his gaze when he returned his line of sight to me.

"Jace, if Clary has gone then that is her own choice. She has said that she will come back you must trust that she will keep her promise." Hodge's never ending calm annoyed me and I struck out, smashing my fist against the wall as I yelled out profanities.

"That is enough, Jace. Your anger will not bring her back nor will your pain." Hodge placed a hand upon my shoulder and I fought the instinct to draw away.

"Then I'll go after her." My voice was a low growl, the sound of it shocked me, giving me enough of a lapse to truly hear Hodge.

"That is all well and good but it does not answer the necessary question; where is she?" I wracked my brain for an answer and the one that came to me was not a place but a name.

"Sophie. If anyone will know her well enough to venture a guess of her whereabouts, it's her."

Sophie Point Of View

"What do you mean she's gone? She wouldn't have just left without telling me." Jace had called me back from patrol around an hour ago but I'd only just managed to get back, I hadn't known it was so important. His voice had been a little off but I wasn't uber aware of his moods like Clary was. Clary…

"She left you a note. I didn't open it as much as I wanted to, hopefully she'll tell you where she is." I snorted. Unlikely.

"If Clary had wanted me to know where she was she would have told me face to face. No, this letter won't give much away besides what we already know, it'll be a good bye and an apology. Nothing more." Jace's face fell and he slumped down in the chair opposite the library fire. I sunk down to the floor and opened up the letter, even though I already knew what it held but having to read her words. Having to know what Jace had said was true.

Sophia,

I'm so sorry. I know you're angry with me and that you won't understand why I didn't include you but I couldn't put anyone else in danger. I have to find my mom and stop Valentine once and for all. I promise that as long as I don't, you know, die or anything then I'll come back. I'll call you as soon as I can but you know me well enough to know that I won't tell you guys where I'm going. To be perfectly honest, I'm not sure where I'm going myself yet but I'll find out where he is. I'll find him and I will kill him.

It feels so long ago when I last said goodbye, but it has been mere weeks and this time it hurts just as much as the first. If not more. Do not blame yourself, it was my choice and my choice alone. I did not include you because of nothing you have done, only as a means to protect you. I could not live with myself knowing that you were hurt, or worse, because of me. This is my responsibility and I must bear the weight of it alone. You and Jace have to stay safe for me, so I will have something to live for, to fight for, I couldn't tell either of you because I know you would not have let me go. You would put your own life on the line for me, as would Jace but he also thinks he needs to save the world. Sometimes I think he wants to die trying. And I don't want to encourage him. So keep him from doing anything foolish. Please.

I love you, my parabatai. Stay Safe.

Clary.

My eyes streamed and I made no move to hold them back, she wanted to protect us because she couldn't cope without us but she never even realised how we would feel if anything happened to her. I hated myself for even thinking this but to me it was the most selfish thing she's ever done. Even feeling that way though I knew, she had actually thought this was the only unselfish thing she'd done. We had to find her and for once, I had no idea where she might have gone.

Clary Point Of View

I landing in my mother's old study in London. I searched through her drawers finally settling on her spare hairbrush. That would do nicely. I took my time walking through the hallways and corridors of my old home. I couldn't work out when this place stopped being home to me but it had. I missed New York and the people there and I'd been gone minutes. How would I cope? I had to. What was it Sophie had said to me that day when I first left this place? A Shadow-Hunter's strength isn't about how much they can stand before they break but how much they have to handle after they're broken. Her voice rang clear through my head, in the exact same tone of voice as she'd used back then. She thought I was strong and I hoped she wasn't wrong. My bedroom was the same as it had been back then, the same colour walls, the same wooden floor, the same bed, bookshelf, drawers, desk… except now… everything was empty. Just like I was. I carved the necessary rune into my own arm; numbness. I couldn't afford to let my emotions get in the way now. There was no place for them on this mission.