We talked about what happened, and I soothed his fears the best I could, but I could still see it all over his face. Cullen was always a step away from falling apart, it seemed. I wondered, now, if being off lyrium was adding to his insecurities, was making him fragile. The lack of sleep wasn't helping, either. Why have I never considered this before? I berated myself. He hid it. He wants to appear so strong.

I wrap my arms around myself at the thought. I always tell him how strong he seems to me... I hope he doesn't think that means it's what he has to be.

His hands on me, too, were delicate. So afraid of hurting me again.

I didn't tell him my plan. I didn't want to give him false hope, since I wasn't sure if it would work. Solas said the lyrium would make it hard, even if it's no longer as strong in his system... it's still there.

So I waited for evening.

"Try to get some sleep," I tell him, lowering myself down the ladder. "I mean it. I want you to sleep."

"Yes, mother," he smirks.

"Cullen." I try to be stern. "Please sleep." My stomach flutters with nerves. Sleep so I can try.

"Is that an order, Inquisitor?"

"Yes." I let out a giggle. "Sleep."

I'm almost too nervous to sleep myself, but eventually I do, slipping into the Fade like passing through a wall of water. I had asked Solas to show me some places that would be quiet, safe, free from spirits. I was standing in one, now. A stream in a forest, snowmelt trickling over stones.

"He might not be aware," Solas had warned. "Most people cannot control their dreams. You would be shaping it for him. To him, it would seem like an ordinary dream, just a much less frightening one. Imagine him sleepwalking, with you guiding his steps. That is what it might be like."

I reached out with my spirit, searching for his, focusing on the essence of him.

Quiet strength, a confidence when with his men, wrapped around so much that is unsteady, unsure. A heart made of golden sunlight, pure and good and kind. He is so much more than he realizes. Honest, true, loyal, faithful. Every good thing.

My heart was warming at these thoughts, and I lost myself, describing how I see him, maybe more than how he is.

Nevertheless, it worked.

He was wearing the softer clothes he wore when he was with me, but barefoot. He stumbled to the edge of the brook and knelt, dipping his fingers in the cool water.

"Cullen," I said, smiling.

He looked up, eyes a bit unfocused. "Lahria." He rose and stepped over the stream, wrapped me in his arms.

He was usually so hesitant. But here-

Cullen rained sweet kisses over my face, hands tangling in my hair as he slipped his lips against mine, kissing me deep.

I was breathless.

He pressed his body against mine with no second thoughts, not a single drop of the careful hesitation I was used to. He guided me to the ground, to the soft grass. I let my legs tangle with his as he drew his fingers down my neck, over my collarbone, lower.

I gasped. "Cullen."

"You're so beautiful," he breathed in my ear, mouth at my pulse and dropping.

"He might not be aware," Solas had said.

This is unfair.

I wiggled out from under him. "Cullen, um... how about we do something else?" I didn't want to do something else. I wanted him to keep going. He always stopped himself when we were together, always held back. He wasn't doing that now.

"Lahria," He gave me a sloppy grin, biting his lip and looking at me in a way that was downright filthy. "Come on."

"You're dreaming," I blurted out. "If you were awake and knew I was seeing you like this, you'd turn bright red and bolt for the door. I can't let you-"

His hands were on me again, sliding up under my shirt. I had never felt his hands on my bare skin like this. He traced my spine with his fingertips, hands moving to my shoulderblades as he pressed me close.

A whimper, a gasp from my lips.

"That's better." He pressed his lips to my earlobe and a gentle bite to my neck.

I was seeing stars.

"Cullen, don't." I pushed my hands against his chest and shoved. "I want you, but not like this."

He backed away then, confusion on his face.

Mythal save me, I thought, I'm going to end up giving him a nightmare about being rejected.

I stood, hands fisting in my linen pants. "You can only have me if you catch me."

He bit his lip again, scar pulling up in a grin. "Is that how you want to play it?"

I ran, sprinting through the trees. I grew up in forests like this. I deftly stepped over roots, ducked down seldom-used trails. I could outrun him in this.

Better a dream about being sexually frustrated, chasing me for hours, than taking his virginity in a dream without him knowing, I told myself, not really buying it. The way he had kissed me. I shivered, and almost collided with an over-large bush.

"Pay attention, Lahria," I growled to myself.

I could hear his footsteps in the wood, his muffled curses as he tripped on the undergrowth.

I nimbly leapt up and grabbed a low-hanging branch, swung myself up into the tree.

I watched him as he searched for me, getting frustrated as he pushed away branches and got twigs in his hair.

"Lahria, where are you?" He kept shouting.

I was going to wait him out.

"How do I know when I'm waking up?"

"You'll feel reality around the edges, feel yourself slipping away, becoming solid."

I was starting to feel that now.

How to end this on a good note?

I hopped down from the branches, straight into Cullen's arms, and kissed him. He pressed me against the tree, a growl behind his teeth. "There you are."

I could feel myself slipping. "See you in the morning," I whispered.

"What?"

Then I was awake.

I slipped into his office, quiet as I could, and climbed the ladder.

He was sitting up, hair a mess, shirtless. Perfect.

"Good morning." I smiled at him and crawled onto the bed. "Did you sleep well?"

"Actually... yes."

The warm orange light of sunrise was hazing through the hole in his roof, making his skin glow. He trailed a hand down my arm. "I dreamed of you."

"I know."

He chuckled. "How could you know?"

I keep my eyes away. "I... learned how to keep you from having nightmares. Solas did it once, pulled me from a nightmare, into a nicer part of the fade. I asked him how he did it, so I could do it for you."

"I don't understand."

"That was me in your dream. The real me. I brought you to the stream, and-"

Cullen's face burned scarlet. "The real you."

"Yes." I nestled against his chest. "I didn't want to stop you."

He cleared his throat. "I, ah..."

"You should touch me like that in real life. It was amazing."

His heart was hammering. "Yeah?"

I let myself give a light groan. "So amazing. I'm sorry I had to stop you. I figured you wouldn't want our first time to be in a dream."

"Thank you. I, um..." He pulled away, tipped my face up with his knuckle. "You stopped the nightmares."

"Yes." I beamed. "I can do it again. Every night, in fact."

His eyes turned soft, face filled with wonder and disbelief. He pressed his forehead to mine. "I don't deserve you."

I kissed the tip of his nose. "Hopefully this will help. I wanted to make it easier for you. I wish... you could have told me sooner, how much pain you were in." His lips parted to speak and I rushed on, "Not the physical pain. You told me about that. But the... I don't know. The rest of it. Even if I didn't know how to stop the nightmares... I could have listened. Helped some other way."

He pressed me close. "I didn't want to worry you."

"I want to worry about you. I care about you. Let me care for you."

We held each other, soft touches and softer kisses, my mouth still sensitive, until we had to get up, get dressed, face the day.