Dear Lord Voldemort
snarryislife
Standard Disclaimers Apply
I've decided to open this up for letters that I find amusing, funny, creepy, sick, slashy, ect.
Which basically all of them.
I wrote this one.
Dear Lord Voldemort,
I was wondering if you knew how hypocritical it is to want to destroy all half-bloods, muggle-borns, pure-bloods of different ideas, and all those who do not follow you; and even then this point is debatable. You see, your plan, to completely destroy a child, and rule the world, cannot be possible at all without the economic support of all those who you deem beneath you. Our economy is in shambles, and, you could take over the world in this situation; but your playing with people's money. When you play with people's money, people start to get mad, and madder, and then beyond furious, and then, you start having revolts on your hands; or the Americans come in and start betting the shit out of you, and then they'll get China and Russia with them, and then they'll drag in the middle eastern world, and then the right-wing terrorist parties' leaders will see you as a threat to their monopoly on Eastern oil and society, so they'll ally with the Americans, and the U.S. citizens who are fans of Japan and Japanese Anime, Manga, and music will send pleas to Japan, and then you've got Japan on their side, and then, France will see this as an opportunity to ridicule our Mother Country England, and then, we will be in a mess bigger than anything we can handle. It hasn't worked for any other person, muggle or magical, when they tried taking over the world; and, it won't work for you.
Also, the reason your cloths never returned from the dry cleaners, nor the aid you sent them with is because the cloths were at a muggle dry-cleaners, the very same one in Little Whining, Surrey, who's prices are cheaper then those in Little Haggelton, that was destroyed in an attempt to kid-nap Potter.
Sincerely,
Your financial adviser and personal secretary.
P.S. The DNA test came back. You know that woman you had a fling with for a few months a while back. Yes, your feeling that your missing something is completely legititiment; she did become pregnant with a son. Congratulations my lord, your the proud father of Harry Potter, only son of Lily Potter nee Evans.