{Renesmee}

"Nessie, we're here."

I couldn't remember which day it was, let alone how to open my eyes. The voices of Edward and Bella carried on in conversation from the two first class seats across the aisle.

"Are they here?"

"Yes, Seth is waiting at the baggage claim. It looks like Leah came, too. Separate cars."

"So, they're not talking."

"Not right now, no."

As I opened my eyes, I found my vision impeded by the folds of leather. At some point in the night, I had tucked my head into Mathias's chest. I discovered the weight I perceived on my back was, in fact, his right arm.

"Cherries," I muttered as I enveloped his scent. "Wow, that is a nice way to wake up. You'll make some girl very happy someday."

I turned my face to his as his eyes beamed at me.

"It could still be you, Ren. Just say the word," he smiled as he lowered his head and kissed my brow.

I lifted my hand to his cheek and gave him a playful slap. Even as gentle as I tried to be, the impact drew concern from some of the surrounding passengers.

"Nessie!" Bella rebuked.

"It's okay, Bella," Mathias interjected, rubbing the red swell on his cheek. "I'm sure I deserved it."

Edward leaned in close across the aisle and gave us both the look. "Try not to deserve it anymore. We're in public."

"In loco parentis, Dad?"

He smirked without further comment. Mathias presented Edward with a military salute. I couldn't suppress a momentary giggle as I sat up and stretched.

"What time is it?" I yawned.

"Three-fifteen in the morning," Bella answered. "Sun will be coming up in about four hours or so, and unfortunately not a cloud in the sky for once. We'll have to be swift."

Mathias insisted on hauling both of our hastily packed carry-on bags through the airport himself, though I could have carried that and him with more ease, as I thoroughly tried to convince him. For once, Edward came to his defense.

"The boy's been raised right," he said as he himself totted both his and Bella's bag. "Both you and Bella and this modern age! It doesn't make you any less of a woman to be treated like a lady."

"Indulge Edward on this, Renesmee," Bella scoffed. "He is so terribly old-fashioned on these things."

Mathias rushed forward to the double doors and hinged them open. "I couldn't agree more," he said. "Madames et Monsieurs, entre-vous, s'il-vous plait."

I conjured up my best impression of a southern belle, batting my eyelashes and agitating an imaginary fan over my eyes. "Why, thank you kindly, dear sir."

He quietly waited for our entire eight-member party to pass through. At the far end of the baggage claim, by belt #3, I spotted the "welcoming party" at the same time that they spotted us. Bella practically squealed as she ran forward a little faster than was probably wise, and threw herself into Seth's hug.

"Little brother!"

"Big sis!"

Even Leah had a smile for us, though of course we should expect no hugs from her. If Seth's welcome to us was a warm rush of tropic waters, Leah's was the slow drip of an ancient glacier. We had come to cordial terms with her in recent times, and she made efforts to be more pleasant after we had become family a few years before, but she always seemed unable to completely disengage from her instinct of being our enemy. For some reason, perhaps because I was a hybrid, or perhaps because I was almost inseparable from her Alpha, she had always given me preferential treatment over the other members of the coven.

"Wow, Nessie," she gasped. "I guess you're all grown up now, huh?"

"I'm hoping," I said. "How are you, Leah? How's Sue?"

"Very well, and very eager to see you as soon," Leah laughed. "Well, let's get your bags, shall we? Seth is parked illegally on the curb, so we should get a move on."

"Seth, you finally saved up enough to get a car?" I asked. "I'd bet Leah is glad not to have to drag you around anymore."

Seth exchanged a knowing smile with Edward as the two shook hands.

"What? What am I missing?"

Edward grinned at me. "I gave Seth our car when we left."

"Really? The Guard? I thought you donated that thing to charity!"

Seth smiled. "Well, I guess in a way you can say he did."

Emmett had already set about pulling suitcases off the conveyor belt as Rosalie fetched a caddy.

Seth sidled up to me next. "Nessie, she's missed you terribly. She was very sorry that you missed the funeral."

Six months of suppressed memories washed over, as the undeniable reason that we left slapped me in the face. Charlie was dead. The hurt of his absence in this otherwise joyful moment tore at my soul.

"I was very sorry, too," I told him. "I guess I was lucky enough that I got to share his last few moments, and show him how much we all loved him."

"Thank you for that," Seth returned, pulling me into his embrace and kissing me on the cheek.

"So, I guess I'll introduce myself then." Mathias's pert tone and remark broke the silence that had come over all of us. "Hi, I'm Mathias Draganovitch. Very pleased to make your acquaintance, Mister…?"

"Clearwater," Seth answered, acknowledging Mathias's existence with hesitance and an outstretched hand. "Seth Clearwater, and my sister, Leah."

The translation of Seth's stare was easily interrupted… Who the hell are you and what are you doing standing so close to my Alpha's imprintee?

"Jasper's driving out, together with Mathias's mother," Edward randomly offered, I hoped in order to cut off whatever malicious thought was probably taunting otherwise easy-going Seth's brain. "Were you able to find the hidden house key I told you about?"

Seth broke his foreboding stare from Mathias, who seemed, as usual, unfazed by the fact that the creature giving him the once over could end his life in a heartbeat. The caddy loaded, we began to move en masse toward the exit into the safe darkness of night.

"It turned out to be …unnecessary," Seth informed him, and from Edward's fluctuating facial expression I concluded that the explanation was being rendered mentally.

"Really?" Edward asked astonished. "Did they say why? Or how long they've been there? Why didn't they call us?"

"Edward, what is it?" Carlisle queried.

He didn't answer, but looked around at the crowd of coach class passengers who were beginning to throng about us to hail taxis.

"We'll talk about afterwards," Edward said to Carlisle, who nodded in acknowledgement. "We need to make a stop and get out before the sun gets too high. Um, Seth, do you mind if I drive, just for old time's sake?"

"Yeah, of course, Eddie." The car keys traced a perfect arc from wolf to vampire. "Besides, you're the master of, 'I know it's usually a three and half hour trip, but we're going to make it in an hour forty-five.'"

I shot Mathias a teasing look. "I hope you're comfortable with some really fast driving."

He scoffed. "You've seen Moira's car, right?"

While the others piled into Leah's old, beaten up Trailblazer (no doubt they would be dragging slowly behind us the drive in from Seattle to Forks), Edward and Bella took the captain and co-captain position in the front seats, while Mathias and I took our seats in the back, Seth wedged between us. He took turns flashing curious glances between us via the rearview mirror. As if I didn't notice. Mathias, in the meantime, remained oblivious, gazing out the window and drinking in the beauty of the bay under the moonlight as we passed over the Narrows. At three-fifty in the morning, the roads were more or less deserted, and Edward pushed his old car just as hard as she would have him.

"Mathias?" Edward called, breaking the silence. "Our friend is a little too polite to be nosy, but he wants to ask you something? Go ahead, Seth, he won't bite, as long as you don't"

It was hardly a funny joke, given current company.

"Sure," Mathias answered. "What can I do for you, chief?"

Seth was cautiously approaching his inquiry. "You seem… human."

Mathias nodded. "Indubitably."

Seth must have thought Mathias looked taken aback. "I'm sorry, I'm not trying to be rude. It's just… I don't quite get how you fit into of this scenario. And why is your mom driving with Jasper? Can't she fly?"

"Oh, no, she can fly just fine, and in more ways than one," Mathias quipped. Bella and I giggled and the inside joke. "She's just… a little ill right now, and didn't think flying and exposing her fellow passengers would be advisable."

"Oh, so she's human, too, then," Seth concluded happily.

"Hmph! Far from it."

Seth detested Mathias; that much was obvious. But Seth was inherently kind and sweet, and despite being a ferocious pack animal when the need arose. He was too good a man to take on Mathias in an immature verbal jest. Consequently, we all fell silent as, just like Seth predicted, Edward's driving cut the trip down to a third of the time .

When we passed a roadside sign at four forty-five that bore a "Welcome to Forks" placard, I felt an overwhelming sense of nostalgia. I had spent the last six months of my life, which in fact was a sizable portion of it, learning to accept that I might never see the place of my birth again. I could have never anticipated what it would mean to me. Even as I suspected Edward of taking a vicarious route through town deliberately selected to avoid any place with dark recollections, I couldn't suppress the comfort the surroundings brought me. I would not disturb that comfort by becoming overly emotional. I would accept that this was my Eden, and that I had tasted the forbidden fruit plucked from the tree of knowledge that had forced me to be cast from it. I might have this one opportunity to glance in, but the garden would no longer be my delightful consolation. My ignorant bliss had now been replaced by the horrid understanding of the power of the monster within, a weak being of bloodlust and depravity that could never be severed from me.

As I broke from my reverie, I noticed that we had turned up a familiar street. The car drove silently into the drive in front of the white, two-story house. I looked at Edward and Bella curiously, wondering why we were deviating from Cullenwood.

"Mathias, we're going to leave you with Seth's mom for a few hours. There's been a development, and we think it best you stay here until we've had an opportunity to evaluate it."

"I'll run in and get Ma," Seth said.

I noticed him hesitating, as I remembered that he would need to get out one side of the other. I opened my door, got out of the car, and stretched, breathing in the damp night air. The front door of the house slammed closed, and a few moments later I saw the light of the living room come on. Sue stood in the doorway of Charlie's house, her gaze nearly teary as she cast her eyes on me.

"My Ness-Ness," she cooed, opening her arms wide, inviting me in.

"Mawmaw!" The tears actually did break down my face as I threw myself into her embrace, almost knocking her to the ground. "Oh, sorry. Are you hurt?"

"Darling, you could break my spine right now and I wouldn't know. I'm so numb with joy that I can't feel a thing but happy." She kissed each cheek before pulling away from me and giving me a once over. "Why, you're all grown up now, aren't you? And look at my dear Bella, just as beautiful as always. But I guess you would be, wouldn't you?"

"Sue, you're looking well," Edward stated, always taking the gentlemen's tone with Charlie's wife.

Charlie's widow, I reminded myself.

Bella eschewed formality. This was her step-mother, after all, and one that she loved almost on par with her father. She rushed forward, following my example, and lifted Sue off the ground as she hugged her. Edward threw around careful glances, looking to see if the squealing of emotional women had roused any of the neighbors from their slumber.

Edward mocked a cough, and approached Sue more closely. "Sue, a have a favor to ask. This young man here is Mathias Dragonovitch. He's a close friend of the family, and completely harmless. I wonder if he might be able to stay here a few hours while we run a few errands. We'll send Nessie back to pick him up later in the morning."

"Of course, Edward. Any friend of your family…. Mathias, I'm very pleased to meet you, I'm Sue Swan."

"A pleasure to make your acquaintance, Mrs. Swan," Mathias stated cordially, reaching out and shaking Sue's hand. "And many thanks for your hospitality."

"Nessie, show Mathias up to the guest room and then come straight back. We don't have much time to spare; the sun will be coming up soon enough."

"Of course," I said as I saw Mathias drag his suitcase from the trunk. "Follow me, Mathias. Hey, where's Seth?"

"Oh, he went out the back and off into the woods to join the pack," Edward informed me. "Sue, tell him thanks from me for letting me borrow the car. I appreciate it."

"Of course. Now I expect you two back over here as soon as you've settled in and see me. My heart has ached for you, child."

I guided Mathias through the screen door and up the stairs, up to my mother's old room. It hadn't changed much. The same bed, the same blankets, some of the same stacks of books left unread for over seven years. Mathias set his suitcase on the floor and pulled off his jacket. Haphazardly, he threw it over the rocking chair in the corner and sat down on the bed, slipping off his shoes.

"You'll forgive me for not waiting until you leave to get comfortable," he said, "but I didn't sleep on the plane at all. I'm beat."

"Oh, are you one of those people who can't sleep on flights?"

"I could sleep on the wing in flight if they gave me the chance. But I stayed up this time. You fell asleep right away and leaned into me. I didn't want to close my eyes and lose in the moment," he answered. The tenderness of his weary eyes, so full suddenly of love and sincerity, overwhelmed me. So when he held out his hands to take mine, and pulled me down to sit on his leg on the bed, I wasn't prepared to resist. He cupped my chin in his hand and angled my mouth to his. I allowed our lips to meet for moment, just long enough for me to feel his scent fill my being, then withdrew in one liquid movement to hover inside the doorframe.

"Over so soon?" Mathis asked, taken aback.

"You need your sleep," I said. "Besides, you forget that my father is just forty feet away and able to see and hear everything that's going on right now."

"You think he's spying on us all the time," Mathias lightly laughed.

"He is." I flashed an all-knowing grin. "Honk twice if you're listening, Edward."

Two short burst of the car horn followed.

"Told you so," I smiled. "Goodnight, Mathias."

"Sweet dreams, Ren."

One more kiss from Sue on the way out the front door, a promise to return around noontime, and I rejoined Edward and Bella, closing the door with enough force to surprise them..

"Okay, spill. What's going on? Dropping Mathias at Sue's wasn't part of the plan, and Seth running off to see the pack at this time in the morning? If I'm the reason we're in this freaking mess, then you owe me the truth of what exactly the mess is."

"I think it's a fair request, Edward." What hurt in me in retrospect was how she didn't even attempt to argue with me about blaming myself. "It's not like we're going to be able to hide it from her once we get up to Cullenwood, anyhow."

Edward's face stayed stoic; usually the sign of an internal struggle on his part to make some determination for my benefit.

"You're right," he said to Bella, before turning his gaze over his shoulder to meet mine. "But first, be patient a few more minutes. We'll tell you afterwards, okay?"

My curiosity piqued. "After what?"

"They're over there," Bella said before Edward could reply. She was pointing out the window to the left. I followed the direction to see Leah's Trailblazer parked on the side of Nelson Road, just outside the gates of Forks Cemetery. "Since you and the others weren't able to go the funeral, we thought we'd have a private ceremony before we drive up to the house."

Through the patchy mist of the field of tombstones, I saw the silhouettes of my family at the far end of the cemetery… the new part. Edward and Bella got out of the car in unison, and I knew that they would expect me beside them- only, I couldn't move. To move, to cross the cemetery, to see a marble slab with Charlie's name etched in stone, that was more than I could bear. I already felt the permanence of his departure, but to see his memorial would make me know for certain that he was gone.

The car door opened next to me, and Bella leaned over and took me by the arm. I felt like the grieving widow, so overcome with misery that moving of my own accord was unthinkable. She guided me in her tight embrace through the field of tombstones and delivered me into Rosalie's and Emmet's hold. Bella turned her body into Edward's, whose arm immediately hooked around her comfortingly.

"Does anyone want to say anything?" Carlisle asked softly.

Speaking seemed somehow iniquitous. Silence was a much more appropriate echo of my thoughts.

"Charlie was never a man of many words," Alice began, looking down at the grave marker as she spoke. "So, when he did say something, you knew that it was direct, honest, and sincere. The night of Edward and Bella's wedding, when I was able to finally get him out on the dance floor, he told me that despite his initial trepidation, he was happy that Edward came back. He said he realized that Edward gave Bella purpose, and that seeing Bella happy, anything else he ever did would be secondary." Alice bowed her head for a moment, overcome by her own recollection. She gave a little burst of laughter. "It was probably the most words I have heard him speak in a day. But he meant every one of them."

Carlisle pulled Alice into a fatherly embrace, and kissed her hair. He then looked around at all of us, as he began his tribute. "I remember a night shortly after we came to Forks. I was working the midnight shift in the emergency room. Charlie rode in with the ambulance from a domestic dispute caller. The woman was beaten up pretty badly, but she had managed to get a hold a knife during the struggle and stab the husband in the leg. They both were admitted, and somehow the husband managed to get out of his restraints, grab one of the other officer's gun, and make a charge for her. Charlie and I tackled the guy together. He didn't know, of course, that I could handle it just fine. But I saw the kind of man he was that night: selfless, caring, protective. He carried those qualities over to us when we became family."

"That's true," Edward nodded solemnly. "Perhaps it's unfair that I feel I almost knew Charlie the best, having access to his thoughts, though sometimes they were diluted. But it was remarkable how centered his thoughts were on the concern for others."

"That's why he was a cop," Bella smiled. "All he wanted in life was to be helping hand, and it didn't matter to whom, though you were certainly on his black list for a while."

Bella jabbed Edward in the side with her finger, and he pulled back with a little flinch, smiling nonetheless.

Emmet matter-of-factly added, "He still owed me $20 from the Mariners match."

Rosalie nearly slapped the top of his skull off. He mocked pain, but of course wasn't really hurt. Esme shot him a rebuking scowl.

"Well, it's true," he said defensively. He refined his tone and smiled, as he quietly reflected, "But he would have paid it. He never welched. He never went back on his word."

"He was the best of men," Esme agreed, pursing her lips.

Leah, who had been lingering a few feet behind us, stepped forward. "When zfad died, it was Charlie who was really there for Mom. For all of us. He didn't let anybody near us for almost three days right after the funeral. He told everyone that they were to wait until we were ready, and he would find an excuse to arrest anyone who bothered us." We all looked at her curiously. "We had … issues to work out. Of course, Charlie didn't know then, but Mom didn't know at first what had scared arad to give him a heart attack. He just knew somehow that we needed some space. And then, later, when she was stuck in a cycle of grief, Charlie was the one who woke her from that grief. I never thought of him as a father, but I loved him very much, and I still miss him every day."

Esme moved to embrace Leah. It was her default reaction to sadness: comfort. I think we were all a little surprised, when Leah allowed her to hold her without resistance. Her eyes fluttered closed as she tried to suppress in the display of emotions. That was Leah's default reaction: numbness.

Carlisle turned his sympathetic gaze my way. "Renesmee, is there anything you'd like to say?"

My body tensed. What should I say? Should I mention how ridiculous I found this, a coven of dead, monstrous killers standing in a memorial park over the lifeless corpse of a human? Should I note how six months had passed since he was laid six foot under us, and this was my first time we had been here because of what I had done? Should I point out to them that they had been so wrapped up in their own memories that my eyes the whole time had been unable to break from the stare at the fact that was set before us so plainly, etched in stone: DIED MAY 14, 2013?

"I don't think she's able to get to that point today," Edward said, finally causing me to turn my head at him questioningly. "Still too many conflicting emotions. She's not ready yet to accept that he died."

"Accept it? I witnessed it!"

The fretful eyes of Esme reigned in the flush of anger that was bubbling inside of me. I closed my eyes and set my focus to taking some deep breathes and calming down. I hadn't meant to upset them. I just couldn't understand why they could not be angry the way I was.

"I think you're right," I admitted in a quiet voice, and Edward almost looked surprised. "I think I'm just not ready to admit it to myself. You live in a world where time seems so irrelevant, so maybe you process these emotions so much faster than I do. I need more time. You don't understand what it's like to lay down to sleep each night and still see…."

I paused, struck suddenly with knowledge of the very thing they needed to see right now.

I unbuttoned the cuff at the end of my shirt and began rolling up my sleeve, tugging it as best I could back to keep it from rolling around. Presenting my bare arm outstretched to the middle of the group, I added, "I'm going to try this, and it may be painful. You don't have to watch if you don't want to, but I know how much Charlie cared, and I want to show you."

Understanding clicked in their expressions after a few moments, and six icy hands found a place on my arm. Edward stayed back, not needing the formality of physical touch.

"You, too, Leah," I called. She hesitated. "Leah, you're his family. He would have wanted you to see."

Apprehensively, she stepped forward and angled her hand to my upper arm, making sure to keep enough distance with her body from Emmett standing next to her to avoid the iciness of his.

The familiar tide of nerves loosened as I pushed my vision out over them.

Charlie's body on the ground, his breath straining, his blood flowing from the gunshot wound despite every effort to stop it, and me, taking his hand into mine.

"I am so sorry, Nessie."

"Shhh, Charlie, there's nothing to be sorry for."

"I'm sorry that I won't be with you anymore. You tell everyone… how… much I…. love…."

"Charlie, I love you, so much. I wish I could show you…"

And then, in my first attempt at layering, delighting in how I could show them what I had shown Charlie, replaying in detail the play I had played in his dying moments for him…

The first time we met, when he called me the prettiest baby ever born…

The late summer evening we ran around his backyard catching fireflies, and Sue trailing us with a mason jar…

The birthday party Alice had thrown for me and Bella a few years ago, and Charlie's bewildered face looking at our nearly uneaten cakes, both with a huge candle "3" burning on top…

His and Sue's wedding party down on the reservation two years ago...

Charlie dancing with me two summers at my parent's impromptu fifth wedding anniversary party...

Charlie and me walking on La Push with Sue, Jacob and Seth a year ago…

I wanted them to know that I did get it: I knew how much I loved him, and I knew how much he loved us. But I had never tried this before, and I wasn't sure it was going to work. I opened my eyes wide and drank in each of their faces, which were now answering me back with countenances full of love and compassion, despite the hurt of his absence.

"This is what Charlie meant to me," I smiled, and pulled at a mental thread I had never felt before, turning not the past, but the present, into an image that they could see. They saw me, and they saw me seeing them, like being in a house of mirrors, each of us witnessing the reflection of each other through my eyes and theirs. "His humanity is what has allowed this family to survive and thrive. And I thank him for that. We are all reflections of his love for us."

As I pulled back, I glanced over to Edward, standing a few feet away, looking abundantly proud and amazed.

"You were right after all, Carlisle," he whispered. "She takes what I do, and flips it. Nessie, that was amazing. I don't think you've ever done that before."

"Well," I laughed in my new found ability and joy. "I didn't know I could either. I just wanted you to see yourselves as I see you. Because, I think, despite everything else we are, that's how Charlie saw us too."