A/N: Exams are finally over! I took my final papers today and I'm completely exhausted, but I hope you enjoy this chapter friends! This chapter focuses quite abit on Ida's past, I've been meaning to do a chapter on it for quite some time but I couldn't find a way to incorporate it until now! New OCs in this chapter, and a big plot movement! Ok, I shall head to bed now because I can hardly pry my eyes open. Will reply to reviews tomorrow! Hope you understand!
Thank you all for your kind reviews and your overwhelming support. (:
A big thank you to my beta readers: AliLaShae, Suledin, Kirani56!
Humanity's Strongest Woman by xDollfie
Chapter 22 - Loose Ends
Memories.
Images, conversations, items; it flooded through her mind like a raging tsunami. How her kindly mother would hold her hand and tread down these grand high hallways; how she would spend hours in lush, prim gardens playing alone. Even the kitchen looked the same, she noticed. She reminisced on how she would go down in the middle of the night to satisfy her sweet tooth.
Ida Starke stood alone in the grandiose office. There was an immense bookshelf displaying a large collection of books at the corner of the room. An antique globe rested on the sturdy looking study desk along with a few picture frames. Though it looked comfortable and posh, Ida had never felt more out of place in it.
It was this room that she detested most among the countless of rooms in the Starke Mansion: Lord Jaron Starke's office.
Languidly, she walked forward towards the bookcase, skimming her fingers across the books. Then something caught her eye, and she pulled the dusty book out from its shelf. It was a book about Titans – about the origins of them. It was distributed by the Monarchy and filled with endless nonsense and inaccurate facts, she knew, but still Ida was intrigued by it.
She found herself immersed in it, almost sarcastically chuckling out loud, but it wasn't long before her peace was disturbed by a man's voice.
"It seems like your years in the Scouting Legion have gotten you interested in Titans. I don't remember you being so interested when you were younger."
That low mocking voice was deep yet dangerous. Ida could remember that tone anywhere. Looking up from the book, her green eyes were infused with contempt as she locked it with another set of emerald, so similar to hers, yet so different.
He had aged over the years, with prominent wrinkles around his forehead, but his lips were still curled into that vile confident smirk she hated so much. His red hair was slicked back into a neat style. He was wearing the same type of suit that flaunted his wealth, and his hands were studded with jewels.
She closed the book and slipped it back onto the shelf. "Not as interested as you, I suppose." She replied, noticing how the entire row on the bookshelf was actually filled with a collection of books on Titans.
"Wine?" Lord Jaron Starke offered, moving over the glass bottles of alcohol situated at the end of the room.
"No, thanks." Ida answered, her glance following him across the room.
His back was facing her as he poured himself a glass, "Chess then. Elsie taught you how to play it back then, right? It's the least you can do for your uncle who you haven't seen for so many years." He gestured towards the vintage chess set table, each piece intricately carved to perfection.
Biting her lips, she complied, seating herself on the majestic looking cushioned chair. Jaron came forward, swirling the glass in his hand as he situated himself opposite to her.
Sitting across from his guest, she saw that his green eyes were deadpan. He picked up a black pawn piece, using his thumb to rub on the smooth wood. "Ah, who would've thought that I'd get the chance to meet you again, much less play chess with you?"
"I'd play chess with you anytime," Ida commented back in a cool firm voice, moving her white pawn piece on the board. "Don't you remember, how much I love games like these?"
"Well, your hatred for your own family is rather well-known," Jaron countered. "And you arrived at the mansion uninvited, with an immense loathing for me…"
"Very suspicious…" She agreed idly, her eyes scanned his with precision. "So why haven't you yet thrown me in a dungeon?"
"You are the daughter of my beloved twin sister, and my niece. Why would I?" Jaron retorted evasively. He could sense her razor-sharp attitude, but he simply smirked it off. This of course, vexed Ida even more.
Ida gritted her teeth and rested her elbow on the armrest as she sardonically pointed out. "The illegitimate disgraced daughter of your twin sister who died."
"A death which you blame me for."
Jaron's snide remark didn't seem to sit well with Ida. She exhaled sharply through her nose to show her frustration and her grip on the armrest tightened, "You humiliated her. Disowned her. Casted her out to live in the Shiganshina District where she met her death with the Titans. Of course I fucking blame you."
"And here I am, unguarded and weaponless, but yet unharmed." Jaron's scrutinizing expression never once faded. His eyes started to transcend into hatred and he continued to push the buttons. "Should I be concerned?"
"You are unguarded and weaponless because you know me better than that," Ida spat back, but she kept her composure. "If I snap your neck today, your little lackeys will come after me. Last time I checked, I'm weaponless and in the lion's den."
Jaron chuckled, moving his knight piece into the center. "You've gotten smarter. I'll give you points for that. Did the Titans cause your sudden increase in intelligence?"
"I don't know, why don't you tell me?" Ida commented icily, her eyes bore into the older man in front of her. "You seem to know a lot about them. Especially since you have so many books about Titans."
"I know nothing more about them than you do."
"Oh?" Ida raised a brow dramatically, her lips twitching into a smirk. Accusation and contempt underlined her hard words. "So you know that Titans were originally humans…and that the true royal family is the Reiss Family?"
Jaron hummed. The conversation almost seemed fun to him. "I wouldn't deny that. But if I'm not mistaken, you're trying to extract information out of me," He cleverly remarked.
"Would you hand them over so easily? I wouldn't think so. You don't trust me, so I'll drop that subject for now," Ida remarked sharply, throwing him a look. "However, I'd very much prefer that you enlighten me as to why you would order my capture. You've ignored my existence for years, even after Elsie died."
Subtly, she could see his eyes darken a little, before he answered, "You have tainted our household name long enough. Your birth is a sin itself. Being a mercenary in the Underground City, joining that pathetic Scouting Legion, and now, even joining the rebellion against the government. It's my job as your rightful guardian to take care of you, is it not?"
Picking up her knight piece, she knocked over the black pawn chess piece on the board, positioning herself in a rather neutral spot. "…You could have just killed me, it would have ended all of your problems..." Watching him carefully, she allowed an innocent countenance to play on her features. "Isn't that right, uncle?"
The burgundy wine in his grasp swirled, and he moved it to his lips to take a slow sip. "…Ah, that could have worked as well…"
"Are you denying your involvement in trying to get me captured alive then?" Ida's expression was that of superficial coyness; one that knew that the red-haired man had been caught lying about the predicament she had put them in and her lips curved up into a half-smirk.
"No," Jaron confirmed blithely, clearly unaffected by the prejudice written in her eyes. "…I have use for you now so let's leave it at that. Plus…there have been a lot of pests running around the walls lately…"
"I assume we are talking about the Scouting Legion soldiers here…" She scoffed in disbelief. "Well aren't you higher ups getting desperate…but…"
"But you want something in return…" He continued through her sentence sharply.
Ida deadlocked her steel-edged glare with his. "Of course. What's in it for me?"
"What you desire most," Jaron raised his glass towards her, slouching back on his chair as the studded jewels on his fingers gleamed with pride. "Knowledge, answers, reasons…behind everything."
It was at that did Ida couldn't help but frown, too easy, she concluded. Jaron was giving in too quickly, too confident she might say, but she reverted back to her apathetic dissemble. "Since I have worked with Corporal Levi for the past year, I know of his plans as well as the names of the remaining members. I will assist the government in silencing them…But, I want something more."
"Oh?"
"Acknowledgement. I want to be recognized as an official member of the Starke Family. Land, property, gold – I want an inheritance." Ida stated, scrutinizing every single flicker of emotions on his features – but like her, he remained expressionless.
Jaron clicked his tongue. "Ha...since when are you interested in materialistic things like this, dearest niece?"
"Self-preservation, uncle." Ida smiled sweetly, but behind that innocent façade, her anger was brimming, almost exploding through her chest. "I always choose the winning side to ensure my survival. It's something you learn after living in the filthy slums."
He paused for a moment, as if considering his options, before saying, "As you wish."
"So it's a deal then?"
"An agreement."
"I must say, I am pretty surprised that you would agree so immediately…" Ida clenched her jaw, her fingernails digging into the fine oak wood of the chair. "A cunning manipulative man like yourself…"
"Well, we do have formidable soldiers capable of taking you down. Should you be disobedient," Jaron answered lightly, taking no offence to her insult.
"Tsk. As I suspected, you're in charge of the secret Human Suppression group with the fancy modified 3DMG…I suppose you are talking about that Kenny Ackerman?"
"I heard you had a hard time trying to escape him." Jaron lifted his wine glass to the air, "Well, a toast to a deal well struck."
As she watched him finish his aged burgundy wine, Ida couldn't help but feel her chest get heavier with this inexplicable feeling. What it was she couldn't pin-point, but she knew it had something to do with a concerning gut-feeling.
Suspicion - she hadn't expected Jaron to agree to her demands. It was almost as if he was too cocky… He didn't even consider the fact that Ida might be playing the role of the double-agent. As if he was so sure that she wouldn't betray them…
A hidden trump card perhaps?
Caught up in her dismayed thoughts, she wasn't focused on the chess game going on in front of her and before she could even realize her mistake, Jaron had claimed victory to the game, his black King piece almost symbolically gleaming in pride and victory in front of her.
Slowly, Jaron turned his head to meet to his relative – his gentle face cold and domineering. "Just like chess, the King will always take down the Queen."
It was nothing more than a subtle but arrogant claim - one that Ida knew was directed straight at her.
A battle of wills raged between the two estranged relatives as Ida met his glower with a formidable one of her own, so defiant and authoritative that it thickened the tension between them, almost to the point it could be cut through with a knife.
Jaron broke the tension with a light laugh, and he slouched back on his seat; his fingers interlocked with each other. "…That was a game well played. I enjoyed it truly. Oh, before I forget, I have a gift for you."
"Gift…?" Ida inquired firmly, alertness finally finding its way into her voice. Her heart began to beat again relentlessly as she eyed the man with complete vigilance.
He smiled mysteriously, momentarily in daze as he secretly applauded the fine workmanship of the white Queen chess piece in his hands. "…Yes, a gift. I suppose you'd thank me for this, after all. From what I've heard you, haven't seen him in a couple of years…"
"What are you even talking about…?" Ida was dismayed; her thoughts were all disorientated and flustered. She couldn't comprehend what he was trying to say.
"Come in."
…Slowly the grand oak doors creaked open.
The redhead's eyes bulged in the purest form of shock, abruptly getting up as he knocked over her chair with sudden force. Her hands started trembling, her throat growing dry as a dessert barren, and her vision turning cloudy, but she could still make out the man standing at the door's features.
Slowly, primal fear began to develop at the endless pits of her stomach, twisting and turning her guts around in unimaginable shapes and forms.
Chocolate brown hair messily tousled in every direction, firm and narrowed dark hazel eyes, tall and muscular stature that towered over her, and the prominent scar that ran across his cheek… It couldn't be…
This couldn't be happening…
"Y-You…" Ida managed to hoarsely stutter out through quivering lips, but when she found his gaze locked with her shocked-infused one, the expression on her features changed immediately...
As memories flooded back into her mind – an almost harmonious imagery of blood, agony, tears…she began to remember her despair, her grief, her endless hell…It was as if an explosion had occurred in the center of her chest, releasing all of her congested and locked up emotions which she has been harboring for so long. Her heart was pumping wildly as if it had never felt more alive.
It was him…
…Why was he here…?
"SETH!"
-x{O}x-
2 Weeks Ago. The Royal Capital, Mitras
"What do I have to do?"
A flicker of sadness crossed his eyes, one that Ida did not miss. But Erwin was always good at concealing his emotions – that perfect public persona of his was simply unbreakable. "…Elsie, I was thinking about our conversations, and I remembered something…"
"What?" Ida demanded, a lace of irritation subtly anchoring her tone.
"We were discussing about Titans back then, about my dreams… She told me, that it was impossible to defeat them and that humans were condemned to live in the Walls forever – I thought little of it back then, but what if…"
As she breathed in, the air hit the back of her raw throat. If her throat felt dry before, it was simply unbearable now. "You're saying that she might have actually meant what she said... Like, she had reasons to say something like that…"
"Exactly." Erwin nodded firmly. "I want to know your thoughts about it…"
She crossed her arms, subtly focusing on Nifa who looked disturbed in the corner of the carriage. "We never talked about them…Whenever I would ask, she would simply sway the conversation into another direction…"
"It's common for a mother to not discuss Titans with her children. It's traumatizing to even think of them," Nifa commented softly, nervously moving in her seat.
A tensed paused silence reverberated through the carriage before Erwin opened his dry lips to speak hoarsely, "…One night after you were just recently born… We met. That's how I knew about your existence, and she begged me to save both of you, saying that her brother had gone mad… We were supposed to elope, but…The next day, she was back to normal… As if nothing ever happened, and upon her request, we separated."
"Save her? Mad?" Ida blinked, taken aback from the revelation. "Jaron might be a shitty bastard, but I wouldn't say he would ever threaten to take her life."
"Then, why?" Erwin pressed. "Why would she say that?"
"…I…don't know…" Ida clenched her jaw, her heart tearing at the thought of her late mother – her kind sweet mother, strong and beautiful, loving and endearing. What had caused her to react that way?
It wasn't as if Elsie detested her twin brother Jaron. No. She was too kind and compassionate for that. Although he treated her coldly, hating her with contempt for having an illegitimate child, Elsie had never shown any amount of hatred towards him, and even if she did, it wasn't in front of her daughter.
But…
Realization dawned upon the redhead faster than she could blink. The loose ends, they were finally coming together – it finally made sense to her.
"…On the night before Wall Maria fell…" She began, the words almost ripping through her throat to escape through her lips. To calm her quivering hands, her grip tightened around the fabric of her pants, like she was attempting to comfort the constricting pain in her chest. "…People came…for us… I didn't hear the full conversation, but… she was crying when they left, saying that she wouldn't go back... That they couldn't force her to… That she would protect me…"
Her teeth clashed together in a fierce clash, and she moved her dejected gaze back to Erwin. "What if... she was talking about going back to the Starke Mansion?"
Erwin's bushy brows furrowed together, and he looked like he was thinking hard. "That is a plausible explanation," He leaned forward, looking dismayed. "But why? After all those years, after Jaron had casted her out and disowned her… Why would he come looking back for you two?"
"That fucking bastard," Ida cursed, every syllable sounding like potent acid. "But what's the use of discussing all this? It's not as if we can question Elsie now…"
"We have to capture him. Jaron Starke," Erwin stated rigidly. "I'm positive he knows something about the Titans."
"How?" Ida retorted, an annoyed glint hitting her features. "Our plan is to capture Rod Reiss, isn't it? We do not have the time nor the men to establish an operation like that. It's too risky."
"We have to make do, Ida."
"And how do I play a part in this? I'm stuck with babysitting a Titan brat, a blonde depressed moody chick and putting up with a disagreeable cynical midget," she argued.
"You have lived with Lord Jaron Starke. You know the way around the northern part of Wall Sina and the Starke Mansion," Erwin explained patiently. "I'd assign you a squad, and you'd lead the operation. Levi will take care of the other operation regarding Eren and Historia from now on."
"Tch. That old bastard wouldn't talk even if we were to torture him. That I guarantee," Ida spat bitterly, remembering the vile cunning smirk that Jaron always wore. "It's not going to work Erwin. Forget about your shit plans. I'm working alone."
"What? Alone?"
"I'll infiltrate the mansion, surrender myself and retrieve information... If our theories are true and Jaron indeed has a use for me for whatever shitty plans he's conjuring up, then it should be simple. I'll find a way to pass on the information to Levi, that way we could continue on with the operation on Rod Reiss. We need to strike before the enemy does, from both sides."
"No!" Erwin immediately shot her down, suddenly jolting in his seat when he realized where this conversation was heading. "You don't even know the enemy's plan and you're throwing yourself at his feet?! You don't even know what he's capable of doing! You could be killed for all you know!"
"So? I'd make it out alive, one way or another. If not, then that's too bad. I won't risk any more of our men in some stupid operation like this, Erwin," Ida defended crudely, her expression determined and unyielding. "Too many... We've already lost too many."
No more – she wouldn't allow any more men to be sacrificed. No more grieving families, no more uncollected corpses and no more empty soulless eyes. She understood how dangerous this mission was, there was no telling what the future had in store, but this time, she will step up and harbor all the burdens herself.
Her mother - just what caused her to react in such a way? Just what happened between Jaron and Elsie? Those answers - she needed to know, so much that sparked from some kind of unquenchable thirst in her. Thirst can only be satiated answers from Jaron himself, and even if it meant plunging herself into the fire, then she would do it in a heartbeat.
"Plus… I have a score to settle with that bastard…"
-x{O}x-
Grand, beautiful, and peaceful – in contrast to the simple lands filled with plain buildings, the area surrounding the Royal Capital lined with splendid palaces, exuding an atmosphere of prosperity. Casual chattering and the occasional laughter were heard throughout the streets, abuzz with the excitement usually felt daily as people went to and fro on the streets.
It was tranquil here; the standards of living was certainly much higher and more comfortable compared to the conditions in the rest of the Walls. The people who were blessed with riches lived a pleasantly peaceful life far away from Titan attacks and the harsh reality of the outer walls.
However, prosperity often gave rise to a stagnant darkness. This place, too, was no expectation.
Beneath the urban posh area surrounding the Capital, was a vast living space called the Underground City.
It looked almost like a dark cellar lined with tombstones, with little to no light shedding in the maze-like metropolis. Phosphorescent crystals were fitted all around, radiating a faint but eerie light into the emptiness, accentuating the dire situation the city was in.
"So this is the underground city…" Hanji uttered out, clearly in a horrified daze as she watched the cruel blasphemy happening within the run-down districts. Disbelief and terror pulsated through the entire squad, clouding their features.
It was terrible.
The cruelty taking place, the rotting uncollected corpses, the looks of the unfortunate and hungry – dying an agonizing slow death, it was enough for the acidic bile to bubble up to the throats of the younger squad members, even Hanji herself was not spared of effects from the dismaying putrid scenes.
It was only he, who remained unaffected.
The authoritative Lance Corporal who stood in the middle of the group, oozing of nothing but confidence and collectedness – he was accustomed to the sight, after all he grew up in these very slums. "Tch, nothing has changed in this damn place," He muttered bitterly, scowling at the sight of the dust and dirt caking the walls. "Stick together. This shit place is like a maze. Get lost and you're fucked."
"…Squad leader grew up here, right?" Sasha whispered hoarsely towards Connie, nudging him in the ribs as the nervous grip on her backpack tightened.
"Yeah…" Connie gulped dryly, biting his cracked lips as he watched the slave houses from the corner of his eye. "…Ida Starke was from here as well, wasn't she?"
"H-How…can they even live in a place like this…?" Sasha found herself asking, distressed and uncomfortable by the heartless animosity happening around her. How could people find it in their hearts to do this? Children, babies clinging onto their mother's arms – they too were not spared with the fierce effects of their environment. Some were skin and bones, others with obvious infectious diseases.
"Stop it!" Suddenly, allowing the distress and horror to consume him fully, Jean charged forward towards one of the slave houses, screeching at a burly man who was busy whipping a young woman into obedience. "You're hurting her!"
"Eh?" The male raised a brow, clearly irritated by the interruption. "You got something to say, boy?!"
Instantly, Jean's eyes grew wide when he saw the bloodied knife he was holding, primal fear building inside of him. He was frozen solid, crippled from responding as if someone had strangled his windpipe.
"Kirschstein, shut up and move forward." Levi commanded brusquely, glaring at the intimidating male as a warning. Once Jean heard the trigger of opportunity pull and snap him out of his frozen state, he turned to face Levi with a look of disbelief on his face.
Scoffing, Levi focused his attention back on the dirt road in front of him, "This is how it's like in the Underground City. Don't fucking cause any more trouble."
"U-Understood…" Jean's teeth dug onto his bottom lip, hating himself for not doing anything. The guilt and regret consuming him was overwhelming, but he knew Levi was right – what could he do? Kill that bastard? Yes he could, but then what?
A single death didn't change anything here.
"Levi, where are we heading?" Hanji inquired, keeping up with his fast pace,
Levi hissed irritably, but his chiseled features were calm and cool. "We have to begin somewhere. Let's search the shitty sewers first."
Hanji pursed her lips and nodded subtly, knowing better than to tick Levi off for now – he was on edge, no doubt that his congested mind was still focused on pondering the location of the missing redhead. But she also knew how professional Levi was. Despite the inner turmoil churning in his body, he had kept his persona in front of the younger squad mates who were counting on him. Depending on him.
"Sir…Would you like to buy some sweets?"
The bespectacled squad leader squeaked as she bumped into Levi who had abruptly paused, adjusting the glasses on her nose bridge, she stared puzzled as the stoic short man went forward towards the dark narrow alleyway. "Levi?"
He stared down at the source of the voice, a small petite little blonde girl in shambles, thin, dirty and injured, but despite her appearance, she was smiling brightly, almost too brightly. "Some sweets for you, sir?" She offered again, ushering a small little brown sack at the towering and intimidating man.
Levi kept onto his silence, but he merely extracted a silver coin from his pocket and placed it in her hand, taking the bag of sweets. Silently, the little blonde girl grinned, running off with her makings for the day.
Sasha blinked in confusion when she watched her squad leader come back with something brown in his palms. "What's that?"
"Sweets," Levi answered brusquely, his thin brows furrowing into a clash.
"That's a nice thing for you to do, Levi." Hanji smiled softly, resting her arm on his shoulder. "Never thought you had it in you."
"Shut up, four eyes." Levi scowled intimidatingly in annoyance. "It's not what you think it is, it's a message."
"What?"
"When you're in a shit place like the Underground City, all illegal doings have to be done in secret – we developed ways to send messages subtly. This is no damn exception," Levi elaborated to his squad impatiently, his jaw clenched together.
Armin nodded his head, absorbing all the new information. "So...Who is it from?"
"Who else? That fucking troublemaking shitty brat…" The raven-haired man spat in condescension, eyeing the brown bag of sweets in his furrowed grasp. Quickly, he undid the string and emptied the contents into his palms – pebbles of colorful candy spilled out, but amongst the bright pastel sweets was a small piece of paper from Ida Starke.
-x{O}x-
She was being escorted, much more like a guest rather than a prisoner. Peering at the tall, freckled brunette woman by her side, her only escort, she noticed how nervous she looked and Ida understood why.
As much as she wouldn't like to boast, the redhead knew she was skilled. Though she wouldn't say her leadership, intuition, or wits were anything to be proud of – Ida knew her way around with the swords and gears, a skill not many possess the ability to utilize.
It wasn't only because the 3DMG was so valuable that regular people weren't allowed to use it. Moving with it was an extremely dangerous activity. Even for highly trained soldiers, the slightest mistake or a slip up can result in a terrible injury. It wasn't rare for them to even end up losing their precious lives.
But she was different. Adding on the fact that she was trained under Levi for over a year, Ida could control the gear almost as if it was just another part of her body, swinging through the air like a soaring bird. She almost felt lost without her gears now. Though, she couldn't say the same when Jaron ordered her confiscated gears to be handed back to her.
"This is your room for now," The brunette said, pushing open the grand painted wooden door. "You're free to roam around the mansion as you please."
Ida did not reply, but merely ushered herself into the luxurious and spacious room.
No handcuffs, windows are open, and even my gears are handed back to me… Ida summed out in her head. Her sharp eyes were scanning through the red carpets and throughout the room. He's confident that I won't escape, or even try to attack…
Did… Jaron really think that he could change my mind…?
No. Jaron isn't stupid – he knows that he wouldn't cripple my resolve…
So why…?
It puzzled her greatly. Ida couldn't comprehend as to why she was being treated like this – she had expected dungeons, chains, or even torture – in fact, she was prepared for it. It was one thing when an enemy attacks openly, but it's a whole other concept when welcomed into the enemy's home.
"So, how did you end up working under Lord Starke?" Ida asked the brunette woman standing by the side as she shed off her damp cloak. She tilted her head to the side to look at her.
"It's none of your business." The woman bit back hotly.
Ida hummed out her approval with a tantalizing small smile, "Unfriendly one, aren't you? Since you're assigned to watch over me, the least you can do is give me your name."
"Rena," She answered, narrowing her hazel eyes.
"Tch. It's not every day a prisoner gets such fine treatment you know?" Ida commented calmly, shrugging off her outer jacket and tossing it to the chair. Then, she began to unbutton her shirt.
Rena saw it as her cue to leave; to grant the mysterious redhead some privacy, but a composed yet authoritative voice stopped her from exiting out the door, "Don't bother. I have some bullet graze wounds, help me bandage them up."
The brunette hesitated for a moment, but the redhead elaborated nothing more. She noticed how there were small hints of bloodstains oozing out from her white shirt, probably from her wounds that had opened again from long horseback riding. She reluctantly complied, walking towards the drawers, extracting out a fresh set of bandages and medical supplies as Ida finally finished shrugging off her white shirt.
When she turned back to the redhead, she paused.
It wasn't because of the fresh blood on her hips where the stitched wounds had split open, and neither was it because of the sight of bare flesh.
It was because of Ida Starke's bare back.
It was covered in countless scars...
Weather by age or blackened by the element. Its broad sizes and many cross ridges betrays the truth of what a deep and ghastly wound it had been, and the lack of care given. From what she could tell, it was because of the split flesh wound. It was common to have a scar or two, but not this many, not this intense. The largest scar crossed from her shoulder blade to her lower hip. There were even brand marks protruding out of her porcelain skin.
"Hurry up. I don't have all fucking day." Rena heard her call, and she snapped out of her momentary daze.
Gulping down a mouthful of saliva to smoothen her dry and scratchy throat, Rena moved forward and proceeded to address her wounds. As much as she decided not to pry, she couldn't help but wonder how she had obtained them.
"It's disgusting, isn't it?" Ida's words were almost chaste as they touched her lips and escaped.
More appalling than anything, Rena thought, but she remained silent as she stitched through her wounds. Awkward silence filled the room, and Rena strained to listen to her soft and rhythmic heartbeat to distract herself.
Then, she saw it. The slight trembling of her shoulders, her fingernails digging into the tender flesh on her arms. But despite her obvious traumatic reaction, Ida's face was as cool as a bronze mask, her eyes hidden behind her long bangs, but Rena knew for a fact that there was a dark cast to them.
Those vivid green eyes of the Starke's – she was intrigued by them. How they concealed everything they were feeling, portraying only their strong side and hiding their vulnerability.
However, Ida was different – though she appeared strong and unshakable, deep within, she was different from Jaron Starke. She was weak and broken to pieces. Like the scars that colored her back, she too was scarred and tainted.
"They say scars are beautiful to whatever nature. A scar means the hurt is over. The wound is closed and healed, and done with…" Ida suddenly whispered hoarsely.
At this Rena stopped, furrowing her brows. "Why are you telling me all this? You don't even know me."
Ida moved her downcast gaze to meet with Rena's confused hazel ones, "I'm human. I get lonely too."
"Oi, where did you get those?"
She clenched the bedspreads underneath her, relishing in the intimate moment between them. "…Why? Does it surprise you?"
Levi was lying down beside her, his gaze stuck to the ceiling above them. His expression was relaxed, yet the tense crumple of his brows told a different story. "Tch. No. I'm aware you had some on your back before, but I didn't know that there were that many."
He tilted his head to look at her, her naked back facing him. The redhead's gaze was plastered to the wall beside them, the blankets draping loosely around her waist. "…Does it disgust you?"
He didn't know what to say at that moment, after all that they had shared together in that very intimate, passion-filled night – Levi's mind was congested.
"You're fine as the shit brat that you are."
"Liar," Came her immediate response, accusing and cold.
"Don't be stupid. Why the hell would I lie about something like that?" Levi rebuffed her comment brusquely, then, he easily rolled to his side so that he was facing the same direction as her.
"…You're always a liar, you stupid midget."
Levi scoffed at how half-hearted her statement sounded, he felt her stiffen when he etched closer to her, whether it's from the sudden intrusion of his warm body heat or because of something else, he didn't know.
Softly, he planted a chaste kiss on the biggest scar on her shoulder. "If I say that you're fine the way you are, then shut the fuck up and just accept it."
Though she knew she couldn't see it, Ida allowed a small smile to play on her lips, shivering softly at the tender kisses that he planted on her back. Bliss was written all across her face, but yet she couldn't find the suitable words to say, and could only conjure up a soft,"…Go to sleep, you asshole."
It was an understatement to say that Rena was dismayed beyond words – here she had heard such rumors about her achievements beyond the walls, the formidable and fearless leading soldier, but yet, it was almost as if she showed no shame in eliciting emotions.
Going back to addressing the wounds, Rena couldn't help but find something much more interesting than the Starkes' spectacular emerald eyes, and it came in the form of the disgraced illegitimate daughter of the Starkes, Ida.
What kind of life have she been living up till now? Just what made her this way?
-x{O}x-
Year 845, Underground City.
Cold, wet and hungry. Painful agony, darkness and weakness.
She couldn't see anything, nor could she feel anything. The burning hunger eating away at her stomach seemed to be the only physical manifestation of her suffering. She could hear the sewage water drip onto the concrete ground, the pungent acidic odor of blood, urine, feces, and other bacterial diseases hanging in the air.
Blackness enveloped her; caressing her soothingly as if it was her only friend. Though she wasn't the only human in the room, the others were silent, their vacant lifeless eyes just like hers. The eyes of the despaired who had succumbed to their imminent fate. Outside, she strained her hearing to eavesdrop on the conversation happening outside, knowing that they were discussing about her.
"I have some new fresh meat in here. How much are you willing to pay?" She heard the low vile voice of the man filtering through the door, "Good product if I were to say so myself."
"I will decide on the price after I see the bitch's quality," Came another man's voice. She looked up from the ground when the door creaked upon, the unwelcomed light temporarily blinding her and chasing away the darkness.
She looked up at the visitor in front of her, the fine wrinkles showing age and the vilest grin under his moustache sent chills down her spine. She huddled her legs closer together once again under his scrutinizing gaze, feeling uncomfortably observed and abused.
It was her physical traits that enraptured him. She was certainly considered high-class goods as advertised. Unique scarlet hair wet with grease and dirt, purple black bruises that spotted her smooth porcelain skin, and those eyes. It almost looked like a pool of melted emeralds stones, shining against a frame of dark thick eyelashes. She would have been a fine beauty if she were cleaned up.
"What is your name?" The man asked her firmly.
Only silence came from her, and the man looked at his company for help. Scoffing, he swiped a rough kick towards her stomach causing her to tumble over in pain. "He is asking you for your name, bitch, reply him."
Coughing and wheezing, she pushed herself off the floor. Lifeless eyes like a doll appraised him as she slowly opened her bloodied lips to speak. "Ida."
Nodding in approval, the man found joy in her eyes; those beautiful emerald eyes that seemed to have lost its spark, showing her submission and defeat. She would be easy to control; she was nothing more than a little pet now. "She's good, you taught her well. Take her, wash her up. and bring her to me."
When the door finally closed once again, unbeknownst to the men, the dead emerald eyes lit up once again in the darkness, channeling all her pent up hatred through a glare at the closed door. With narrowed down vengeful eyes, the malicious glint told another story behind her pathetic physical exterior.
It was a look that could cut into the very soul. A terrifying look filled with brimming hatred that could penetrate and twist it in unimaginable ways. As dangerous as it looked, it held a sense of mystery in it.
Agonizing pain ran through her body – was it the fresh flesh wounds on her back sending waves of pain out now? Or was it the disgust that seeped through the cracks in her heart, encroaching slowly but surely?
Abused, torn and tattered – but it wasn't as if she had given up. The more her body felt pain, the more they whipped her into obedience, the more the rage bubbled up and surged through her core, filling her, making her spirit stronger, as strong as steel itself.
Slowly, she extracted the sharp piece of concrete from under her shirt that she had been working on for days, painstakingly shaving it into the desired shape with friction. The lethal sharp tip almost gleamed with pride, thirsty and just waiting to be used at the right time.
She will not die here yet. There was no way she was going to give up so easily.
It was the second time Ida Starke had killed a man, but it was certainly not her last.
-x{O}x-
Year 848, Outskirts of Wall Sina.
Monster.
She felt like one. Yes. That was what she had become, nothing more than a heartless human capable of stealing lives around her for her own selfish desire. With an apathetic countenance, she dragged the lifeless body towards the mountain of corpses and branches that she had previously piled up. Her weapons and gears felt unbelievably heavier as she dumped the bodies into the badly made funeral pyre.
After she was done, all Ida saw was blood-soaked hands; their blood on her hands. It was a sight she had become accustomed to, but never comfortable with.
Ida Starke once had a great life and a caring family. Those things were spawns from the benefits of being the all-rounded person that she was. Though she still carried the sinful title of being an illegitimate child and her mother was casted out by a noble family to live in the poorer district, there was no doubt that they were happy and contented.
She prayed to God every night, helped out her neighbors whenever she could. Never cursed. She was the girl that took one step back to let someone else go forward; she was the kind of girl that held two helping hands to elders; she was the kind of girl that stalked the homeless and abandoned children shelter.
Her gentle mother had bought her up with love, constantly reminding her to show compassion and to be magnanimous towards everyone – even those that done her wrong, never harboring any hatred and resentment.
Even as Ida questioned and challenged Elsie Starke's words, stating how Erwin and Jaron had plagued their lives with so much misery and suffering, her mother would smile gently and say, "They can't help it, love. Hatred will only slowly consume us from within, so don't blame them. Nor should you hate them" - and sweet little Ida would take her word for it each time.
Even in a world where Titans raged, she kept firmly onto her empathetic and compassionate beliefs.
Ida Starke was the epitome of the word nice; the very essence and body of the word. Despite all the evil in the world, she believed religiously in the good things; the lighter areas of life rather than the malevolence things covered in darkness. Evil people were just lost and needed to be guided to the light; good people overshadowed them anyhow.
She believed in all those things until the day Wall Maria fell, as she cried with despair in the refugee camp alone and frightened. Ida believed in all those things until she was captured and abused in the underground, treated like nothing more than an animal. Ida believed in all those things until she killed her first man. Then, Ida stopped believing in all those things.
Three years after Ida escaped the slave house where she was caught as a slave, she was found in the rural parts of Wall Sina lighting a funeral pyre for the men that she had killed.
A lot had happened in just three years.
Ida Starke isn't that nice girl anymore. Ida threw out the words kind, patient, and happy-go-lucky to replace them with tainted, nonchalance, and vengeance. She was hardly recognizable now, even by her own self. All her wonderful assumptions of how the world was a beautiful place regardless were buried deep in the earth and rotting away somewhere. Now, all her guesses were more like sharp perception and tainted hooks.
Suddenly, she found herself harboring one of the most vicious and dangerous emotion: resentment. She hated everyone and everything. Detested her uncle who disowned her, detested Erwin who abandoned her, detested the heartless world, but most of all, she detested herself. The rage piled and accumulated within her day by day, slowly devouring her from the inside.
It was a cruel world out there, and no one understood that more than her. If she were to be empathetic to others, would they do the same to her? No. Not after all she had been through, not after what she had witnessed, that idealistic world she believed in was gone. She had only herself to count on.
Clearly something in Ida died the first time she took a life, the bubbly cheerful woman was now gone, erased and eradicated, only to be replaced with something befitting of a monster.
It is all for the sake of surviving, she would remind herself everyday. Survival was her main goal, but even those words did little to ease her guilt-ridden conscience.
"I'm sorry…" She murmured calmly. The rancid smell from the burning corpses choked the air, the intense heat from the raging fire embracing her as if to tell her it's okay.
"Heh, someone who apologizes for taking away lives," A cool amused voice came from behind her. "Can't say that I have seen that before."
Immediately, Ida took her handgrips and plugged them to the fresh blades, but before she can turn around, she heard the distinctive sounds of a clicking gun. Damn it. "You must be pretty good if you can sneak up on me unnoticed. Are you from the Military Police?" She clenched her jaw.
Turning around slowly, her eyes widened when she saw a fine-looking man in his mid twenties, a burning cigar in his right hand while he calmly pointed a revolver in her direction. His hair was a chocolate brown, long and reaching towards the collar of his black shirt.
He smiled handsomely when he saw her. "So… this is the famed mercenary that is making so much hype in the underground."
From the way he positioned himself, Ida knew that he was composed. Was he underestimating her?
"What do you want from me?" She growled angrily when she saw he was too far away to kick the gun from his grasp. The only way was to enlist her gears to launch herself into the forest in a brief escape, but Ida was all too curious with this mysterious man.
"Nothing," He grinned softly, lowering his gun. "I just want to see what the fuss about you is all about. But now I see nothing more than an aspiring serial killer who feels bad about killing people."
Ida relaxed when the gun was no longer pointed in her direction. "Fuck off if you are here to make stupid remarks," She spat venomously. "If you are here to kill me, then just fucking get on with it."
"If you weren't so busy wallowing in your regret and feeling repentance, you would've noticed that I was sneaking up on you," He told her gingerly, trailing his dark hazel eyes over her frame. "Pretty stupid if you ask me."
"What the hell do you want?" She hissed at him.
"I already said. Nothing." He smiled at her, crossing his arms. "I'm just intrigued at how the very same woman who people in the underground call a heartless monster would even bother to burn her victims and apologize to them. It's pretty ironic, don't you think?"
Still keeping her glare pinned on him, she wanted to flee as fast as she could, but there was something about his demeanor that made her feel that he didn't mean to harm her. He smirked when he saw the menacing look on her face. "What was going on through your mind back then when you killed them? That you're sorry for slitting their throats? That you didn't mean to do it?"
"Shut up." Ida snapped in animosity, insanely offended at how he was insulting her.
"Whoa, chill! You wouldn't want to kill someone that hired you, right? You wouldn't get your pay that way," He laughed lightly, grabbing a small pouch with coins and tossing it to her.
She caught it, feeling the coins through the fabric. Narrowing her suspicious eyes towards him, she questioned him firmly. "I was told to kill a business rival of a rich merchant…That is certainly not you…So who are you?"
"You're sharp. But relax though, I'm just someone who's been looking for you for a long time now," He spoke calmly, walking towards her now that her defense was lowered.
"I'm Seth. How would you like to pair up with me?"
-x{O}x-
Ida sucked in a small breath as the memory came back in jumbled droves. It took her a moment to collect her memory, and then she hurriedly stored it into the back of her mind again. She was only allowing herself a moment to remember, and then it was back to her own reality construction.
"Something on your mind?"
She did not turn around at that familiar voice, "You were supposed to be dead."
"And you weren't suppose to come here," He countered cleverly. "I never imagined you would resort to this. You surprise me yet again."
"What do you fucking want, Seth?" Ida clenched her fists to keep them from trembling and sharply turned her heel so that she was facing him.
Ida felt as though all the emotions were drained from her. The tension-filled conversation with Jaron took every ounce of her patience and self-control. And now, just hearing Seth's voice again had stirred something up inside of her that Ida couldn't explain in coherent words. Actually, they were the coherent words in terms of all the curse words available to mankind.
He smiled handsomely. With a stride, he made his way over to her. "Lord Jaron has something he wants to show you."
She stared at him, allowing the anger to build up. She watched him for the duration of his explanation with nothing more than pure anger. Rage. But she didn't say anything, instead she walked down the hallway and he followed her shortly.
From the corner of his eye, he looked at her for a while longer, bathing in the silence before saying, "You've changed."
"Thanks to you," Ida bitterly answered. She tilted her head to look at him, staring at the face that had completely dismantled her heart and soul two years ago. There was no small-talk or witty exchanges that would eventually lead up to the conversation. She wanted to get right into it and get it over with. "Why are you working with Jaron?"
"Things happened," Seth answered evasively. "People like us do whatever we can to get by. Aren't you the same as me? Working with the Scouting Legion now?"
"Is that your reason for killing them off two years ago?" Scanning him when he didn't reply, she tried to find her answer. "Was it you who killed them?"
Seth looked away slowly, as if contemplating on telling her. But he was taking too long in deciding. His paused silence did not sit well with her, in fact it agitated her so much to a point she snapped – it was all too much for her take.
It was almost as if Ida had been dragged out of her composed facade, and all that showed on her face now was the purest form of disdain and contempt. Instantly, the memory ravaged her mind and Ida recoiled from it. Like a rubber band pulled to its limits, Ida finally snapped.
The anger – pure, raw anger was just getting heavier and heavier.
Pushing him towards the wall, Seth's back hit the wall and in a flash, Ida had a blade pinned to his neck threateningly as she screamed, "Fucking answer me! DID YOU KILL THEM?! IT WAS YOU WASN'T IT?! YOU KILLED THEM!"
He paused for a tensed minute, before he slowly bit his lip in anger, watching her turn from silence to the Ida he had heard so much about. "Does it matter now...? What's done is done, it's pointless to reminisce of the past."
"You are supposed to be dead, so I wouldn't have to fucking kill you." Her voice was firm, dire and with an underlying steel warning – but instead of evoking an expected fearful reaction from him, Seth gave her a soft charming smile.
Seth watched her as he tried to decipher her. They were right; she had changed. He tried to think, but it was hard with how Ida was holding a blade to his neck. Two years ago, he had been the one in the relationship that knew how to get his way. Now, the tables were turned.
Ida had changed and she was ready to go to war.
"Put the damn blade down, and let's talk," He threaded on firmly, but it only further aggravated the young woman.
Ida gritted her teeth angrily. "…Talk? About what, Seth? How you're working for my shitty uncle now? How you disappeared two years ago? How you killed them? How you betrayed us? What more is there to say?"
Seth's eyes lit up with silent surprise.
Immediately, she scoffed and her lips twitched into a smile that was full of resentment and hate. "…'Let's go back to two years ago, Seth. Let's go back to the way we were.' - is that what you wanted to hear me say? Is that what you actually think is going to happen?" Ida was ready to drag all of their skeletons out of the closet, but she had forgotten about his headstrong personality. "Perhaps I should just kill you now and get it over with."
"I don't want to talk about it." He clenched his jaw together, trying to control himself. He had to remind himself that he needed every ounce of patience right now.
"But I fucking do!" Ida rounded up around him, she was determined to force him to answer her. She allowed her anger to build, layer by layer. "I remember everything about that incident. That day changed my life. Now you remember this: your life is about to fucking change."
Challenge touched his gaze - he could no longer control himself. It was so hard to ignore the way she was coming at him with weapons in the air. "Change? Ida, everything has already changed. But what are you going to do now? Kill me? Get over with it? Have you forgotten what position you are in? You're just as fucking impetuous as ever."
"SHUT UP!" Ida screeched in acrimony, but the grip on her blades was trembling. Ida's voice cracked a little, due to the fact that she was not used to screaming. But right now, the anger radiating from her was too much.
Distrust. Anger. Aggression. It all came down like an avalanche on her, burying her deep within the layers of snow.
"What are you waiting for then?! KILL ME!" This time, it was Seth who etched his neck nearer, his glare touched by determination and resolve. "If you're so sure that you can get away with it, if you're so confident, if you have the heart to bring down that blade, then do it."
For once, Ida was silent, but her eyes were still a flaming fury. Reluctantly with exaggerated slowness, she retracted back her blade bitterly in defeat. He was right. She hated herself for retreating, but she knew that she had to compose herself – she was a prisoner now, and any slip up could cost her her life. "Tch, as manipulative as ever, aren't you?"
He adjusted his shirt now that the blade was safely away from him, and he continued to observe her. Standing underneath the light, Ida Starke couldn't have looked anymore different to him. "What is the real reason you're here?"
"Why do you want to know? So you can go to Jaron and spill everything? You can drop the act now, Seth. I stopped trusting you the minute you appeared through that door. In fact, I stopped trusting you two years ago," She replied sharply, turning her heel and continued walking.
"Tsk." He scoffed almost in disbelief, before sneering at her viley. "Do you know why your comrades have to die?"
At that, Ida stopped. The anger, she could feel it boiling within her, so fiery and potent that she was trembling. Slowly, she turned to face him again with blind rage. But he merely confronted her with an air of cockiness and confidence. "Because your little Scouting Legion comrades dared to presume that they could overthrow the government, as do you. A couple of soldier against the nobles who have longed controlled the wall even before you've been born? Vengeance? Is that you're you here for? You think you can stand against Jaron?"
"Make no mistake. I've just gotten started. You think taking over the government is my revenge?" Ida scoffed in disbelief, sarcasm dripping from her tone. "I've held the bodies of my comrades in my arms, watched as they faded before my eyes, as will you of your comrades, in the very same way I did. That is what you call true vengeance."
Seth chuckled softly, clearly amused by her malicious statement. But he merely carried on walking as he spoke, "Whatever you're planning, it won't work. Just drop everything now, Ida. You can't fight a battle you've already lost."
Ida scowled in disbelief and annoyance, and she sneered at him. "You think you know me, don't you? Don't act so fucking smug. I've changed and so have you. So don't for a second think you know me."
She missed the slight softening of his features as he said. "You'll die."
"As if you would care about whatever shit happens to me."
Her words cut like glass on the table.
Seth narrowed his eyes, not liking her tone one bit. He watched her in plain silence. He felt as though he owed her every right to let go of all the things she had bottled up inside. After all, what had he expected? A warm welcome? Two years he had disappeared, and now he was back.
Ida had presumed him to be dead all these years, but he wasn't - and because of that she had all the right to suspect him for the brutal murder two years ago. As the sole survivor of that incident, he could very well be the culprit.
Then, before he could turn back to face the front. Ida smirked demurely at him. "…We are nothing more than enemies now."
There was nothing more than an anticipatory tensed silence as the two estranged friends climbed up the decadent staircase at the west wing of the mansion, but before they could reach their destination, Seth spoke up, "You're wrong about one thing, Ida."
"Wrong?" Her brows furrowed together. She did not like one bit how Seth sounded. Dread started to percolate in her stomach before she even had time to stop it.
Seth looked almost regretful now, but his chiseled features were still rigid and firm. "We aren't enemies. We are comrades on the same team."
Passively following him, Ida tried to comprehend what he was trying to say. His evasive words that held an air of mystery just did not sit well with her. "What do you fucking mean?"
"It's better if you see it for yourself," Seth answered her vaguely, finally stopping in front of a lone wooden door at the top of the tower. As much as he had had once cared about her and loved her with all his heart, now it was more like a relationship gone so sour that there was nothing more than bluntness left.
Ida peered curiously at it, noticing how the large door was locked. Her heart was starting to escalate, pounding on her ribcage as if trying to break free and her palms were turning sweaty. "What the hell is in there?"
Seth did not reply to her, instead, he took out a key and unlocked the door. "Go on in."
Ida scowled, her brows coming together in a fierce clash. Narrowing her eyes, she approached the wooden door with a sense of confidence and determination.
Was this it? The reason behind Jaron's strange behavior? Their hidden trump card?
The door creaked open slowly, and Ida arrogantly stepped in. Despite the acid in her stomach clawing its way out and despite her heart warning her to not go in. Despite all the signs of the foreboding warning alarms her body was sounding – Ida ignored all of it.
With interest, Ida stepped further into the room. Surprisingly, the small area was filled with luxurious furniture and it looked nothing more like a comfortable bedroom than anything else. She hadn't expected this, but somehow she knew the inevitable was coming. This memory was going to haunt her. And whether she wanted to go on pretending as though she didn't sense the warning signal, Ida still had to let the truth escape. She could run, but she couldn't hide.
Taking a deep, lucid breath, Ida's heart stopped when she heard the door close behind her.
She turned her head around as she felt herself heightened with anxiousness. Then, she finally came face to face with the 'it'.
Splintering, cracking, crumbling.
Colors.
Colors of green. Colors of blue. Colors of yellow. The core of a rainbow blemished her eyesight. Ida Starke felt her entire world tip on a deadly axis – but all she could focus on is just one color, scarlet red.
"N-No…" Shaking her head as tears suddenly prickled her eyes and streamed down her cheeks, she held her held as she shook it, refusing. "N-No...I-It's not possible…."
Across the room, another pair of eyes was as wide with shock and terror as the quivering redhead. The message was written all across her face – 'How? Why? It can't be…'
Ida's legs gave way underneath her, and she plummeted to the ground. She struggled as the tears blinded her eyes. She was getting weaker by the second because of the emotional distress. Ida tried to steady her breathing, but it wasn't helping at all. She choked on the oxygen she had inhaled, causing a guttural noise to erupt from her throat.
She was hyperventilating and crying, incoherently a wreck. For the first time since she had last seen her years ago, Ida let out a pitch full of sobs and cries that she had kept locked away for this day she could only dream about.
"I-Ida…" A voice called out to her, quivering and cracking under intense emotional distress. It sounded so strained and pained.
That familiar voice hit her eardrums like an amplifier just exploded into fragments. Ida heard the voice before she felt the pain. Then, she forgot the voice once the pain arrived. It smacked her as if it was beating into the depths of her soul. The hit was enough to push her soul out of her body, but it was God's mercy that held her in. But through everything that she felt, there was another type of pain that was unnatural.
She heard that subjects of this magnitude existed, but she never understood the suffering until it was too late. That voice only confirmed her deepest fears and her wildest dreams all together.
How?
Why?
It was impossible.
As her momentum gathered, Ida pushed through the pain as she fumbled to stand up again, but she fell once more. She was refusing to accept the fact. There was no way. There was no possible way she could be here. Her eyes had to be playing tricks on her. They just had to.
She was gasping out violently and she simply didn't know what to feel. But she broke into a small smile - it was a smile that was full of unexpected hurt and pain. The paralyzed woman on the wheelchair not too far away from her was sobbing as well, her green eyes filled with nothing but terror, her boney fingers shuddering under the intense emotional pressure.
She looked so worn out, so fatigued – like as if she was experiencing the most heart-wrenching agony ever. She too couldn't believe it; this reunion couldn't be happening.
Ida met her green eyes with another set of eyes that looked so similar to hers that it was almost a replica. She was writhing and twisting on the ground, but she managed to open her quivering lips to say one word.
One word that sealed her fate. One word that had linked every web in her life that lead back to fond memories and bitter pain, one word she was dreading to say now, yet all her life, she had yearned to say it once more.
"M-Mother…"
-x{O}x-
An urgent knock came from the door.
Immediately Erwin perked up from his desk, straightening himself. He quickly placed the faded picture back in his drawers and cleared his throat before saying, "Come in."
"Commander Erwin, a messenger directed by Hanji Zoe has arrived," A scout told him, posturing himself into a stiff rigid salute of respect.
With a loud apprehensive sigh, his thick brows crumpled together in a massive frown and he stood up from his desk and made a beeline for the exit. Trepidation was heavy in his stomach. In fact, the perfect composed commander was beginning to feel neurotic.
He couldn't help but feel this overwhelming dread that had been constricting his chest.
The hardest thing in life is to go on after a confrontation. Be it a confrontation of fears, of obstacles, or of broken dreams – it is always hard to accept the fact that what is done is done and 'you need to move on.' However, it is always easier said than done to stop living in the past, and to face the future. There's no sense in feeling regret, in feeling bitter, and especially in feeling guilt. There is sense in accepting that it's over, and to stop being a sympathy handbasket that no one wants to carry.
A confrontation like the one experienced by Erwin Smith cannot be described elaborated - he knew the impending results of his decision was coming, and he had to confront it. As he walked down the corridor with a calm expression touching his features, just because he was not crying in shame, doesn't mean that he doesn't feel like doing so. No one could understand the depths of his and Ida's relationship and no one will ever be able to understand how they managed to come to such a fatal tragic conclusion. It is one of those life mysteries that was unexplainable, and the heart refuses to answer.
Erwin just had to confront the results of his decisions and prayed that he picked the right choice that he wouldn't regret.
His own flesh and blood, his most trusted subordinate, his most formidable Captain - just how did his decision change their fates?
Though unspoken, it was no doubt that Erwin Smith harbored the most responsibilities and burdens. He had the think about the lives and well-being of his scouts, yet there was something that always triumphs over the lives of his precious comrades.
It was humanity itself.
If he had sent so many good men and women to their death beds in the past, then what's another? But does humanity hold a higher value over a single life? If he couldn't even save the comrades that bravely fought beside him - then what's the use of all this?
'Offer up your hearts to humanity', 'Steel your will and offer your lives' - how many times had he said those words? How many people, men, women and even teenagers far too young to be joining in this blood-filled battle?
It's their duty to offer up their lives to protect Humanity. It's almost natural for people to die for others. At times, the sacrifice of a single precious life can save many others.
However, even with that said and his heroic act of working for the goodwill of humanity, Erwin knew that the bitter truth was that when it all boiled down to the people around an individual and individual themselves; humans will always be selfish. Self-preservation was embedded into the human DNA long before Titans raged, and for that Erwin was guilty.
He was guilty for sending his friends to their deaths while he lived. He was guilty for trying to sway his daughter away from her death bed just one more day while he had shamelessly sacrificed countless of people in the past, and he was guilty for starting this blood-filled coup with the hidden intention of fulfilling his father's and his own dreams.
As much as Erwin would like to call himself selfless, he knew he was still human. A selfish human. But being human defined him as a father who wanted nothing more than for his daughter to be at peace and happy. He was a friend who wanted nothing more than for his comrades to survive. He was a commander who wanted nothing more than to live.
Walking through the doors, he quickly picked up the two figures by the end of the stairs, a male and female - unidentified members. Marlo immediately spotted the blonde coming down from the stairs and nudged Hitch into a salute.
"Commander Erwin, I was instructed to bring a letter from Hanji Zoe," Marlo elaborated quickly, extracting a letter from his pocket and passing it over to an intimidating Erwin.
"Thank you," Erwin said, looking at the letter in his left palm.
It was too late to wallow in regret now. It was too late to change anything now. It was too late to back away. Not when he had come this far.
In his hand hold all the keys to his plan.
He had his knight, Levi, his bishop, Hanji, and his pawn, Ida, all in place. Now all he needed was for them to get back the main pieces of the game - King and Queen; Eren and Historia.
Finally, all loose ends were coming together. Slowly, but surely, an impending blood-filled battle was waiting in the near future.
And there can only be one winning side.
Dun, dun, dun! Well, things are finally coming together! :P Jaron finally makes an appearance, new OCs Rena and Seth... and Elsie Starke is alive?! And who is Seth and what connections does he have to Ida? xD I hoped this chapter answers some past reviews questions about Ida's past and the reasons for her extremely rude/bratty behavior in the first few chapters. (:
A big thank you to every one who took their precious time to leave a review, I love and appreciate you guys to bits.
warmheartxoxo: Yes it is! *screams*
Monster: Thank you for your compliments. Haha, it's great that you saw this coming! Well, for the cliffhangers part, I can't promise for sure. Usually, my chapters are 17k in length, and I have to shave them down which results... in quite alot of cliffhangers. T_T
Cyborg: Thank you for your feedback! I'm glad that I managed to describe Levi's heartbreak, man, his character and heartbreak just don't fit well together. ._.
X: HAHA, well, this chapter confirms your half your suspicions, you might be right on track! xD
Katie: Geez, thank you for your compliments! Glad you liked the new side to the three characters. I giggled when I read 'papa eyebrow' pfft. xD
TooLazyToLogin: Yay for updates! Ah, well... I was actually planning on that *whistles*. I too would very much like to see a jealous Levi as well! *hints*
MinnieKR: Thank you for your compliments! *blushes* I'm glad that you liked my fic!
Guest Jenny: Darn it, yes you were so close to being the 400th, but well I still love you equally for reviewing *hugs*. I'm so glad that you liked my story!
DjonMustard: Thank you for your kind feedback and compliments! I'm so happy that you enjoyed Ida, she was such an unlikable character in the start. xD
kuroshi: Ahh, I'm so sorry for my late update. Here's the update my friend! Hope you enjoyed it! xD
Have a great day friends! xoxo.