A couple of weeks later Professor McGonagall came to visit the Gryffindor common room to see who would be staying behind for the holidays. A few days ago we overheard Malfoy telling Blaise Zabini that his parents were going to be away on an important business trip for the ministry so he was staying for the holidays.
The Polyjuice Potion was a little more than half way done, which meant that it would be ready by Christmas. Nev and I already sent a letter to Gran asking to stay at Hogwarts for the holidays. I'd miss seeing Mum and Da, and I miss them so much. I've never spent a Christmas without them, but I also knew that this was something we had to do. So when Professor McGonagall came around with the list, we all signed ourselves up. Surprisingly, that wasn't Professor McGonagall's only matter of business. Before she left she added something to the bulletin board.
Everyone waited about thirty-seconds before they stampeded towards the notice board. "Should we?" Nev asked. "No," I answered. "The crowd will clear in a bit, if someone doesn't come to spread the news first."
As if to prove my point my brothers other dorm mates Dean Thomas and Seamus Finnigan pranced over, practically bouncing on their feet. "They're starting a Dueling Club!" Seamus said excitedly. "First meeting is tonight! I wouldn't mind dueling lessons; they might come in handy one of these days…" Dean Thomas added.
"What, you reckon Slytherin's monster can duel?" I said with mild interest. "Could be useful though," I thought out loud. I guess it depends on who's teaching. When I wasn't in class or finishing my homework or quidditch practice or keeping track of the progress of the Polyjuice Potion or I don't know sleeping, I also tried keeping up with my extra practice with Tom. I'll admit, it has a little difficult to keep up with everything that I have been juggling with. I've just been so exhausted lately, even with the potion. I was thinking of going to bed early and do some sketching since I finished my homework for class tomorrow, but I guess it couldn't hurt to check it out. "Shall we go?" Everyone else was all for it, so at seven-thirty we went back to the Great Hall.
The long tables had disappeared and been replaced with a blue and gold dueling stage decorated with the phases of the moon with thousands of candles lit overhead. It was a bit packed as it seemed that the majority of the school came to see what the first dueling lesson would behold, but we got good spots up in the front. "I wonder who'll be teaching us?" Nev asked, stating one of my earlier questions out loud. "I don't know, but isn't this exciting? I'm a muggle-born so I've never seen a real duel before. Oh sorry, I'm Justin Finch-Fletchley, Hufflepuff." Justin said anxiously.
"It's okay. I'm Callalily Longbottom, but everyone calls me Callie. This is my twin brother Neville and my friends Harry, Ron and Hermione. I heard that Professor Flitwick was a dueling champion in his youth, so it could be him. Or maybe it's Dumbledore, he dueled with Grindelwald. I would love to know all the spells in his arsenal, but it's probably not him. I don't really care who it is, as long as it's not–" I trailed off with a groan and rolled my eyes, of course it is.
Professor Lockhart strutted down the stage with his navy satin cape bellowing out behind him, teeth glistening like one of those wizard models. All of girls around me, unfortunately Hermione included, swoon pathetically. Ever since I called him out on the Bone-Jello Blunder Incident, I've become his least favorite student. If he did call on me to answer a question, I could tell he was hoping that I'd wouldn't know the answer, but I do; thanks to Tom. When he'd ask me questions about his books I'd just have fun with the answers. It was just a little bonus that sometimes it caused Nev to snort a little as he tried not to laugh and pissed Hermione off enough that it made her face scrunch up and turn this funny pink color.
"Gather round, gather round! Can everybody see me? Can you all hear me?" Unfortunately. "Excellent! In light of the dark events of recent weeks Professor Dumbledore has granted me the permission to start this little dueling club, to train you all in case you ever need to defend yourselves as I myself have done on countless occasions — for full details, see my published works." Professor Lockhart winked at the girls around me as he stripped off his cape and threw it into the crowd. The girls squealed and shrieked as they fought over who caught it, as if it belonged to The Weird Sisters. Well, that seems disgustingly inappropriate.
"Let me introduce my assistant, Professor Snape," Professor Lockhart said gesturing to the other end of the stage. "He tells me he knows a tiny little bit about dueling himself and has sportingly agreed to help me with a short demonstration before we begin." Now this is going to be interesting, I mentally smirked. Don't get me wrong, I don't like Snape either, but he at least he seems like a teacher who knows what he's talking about and even more that he doesn't. I also heard that he applies for the Defense Against the Dark Arts position every year and every year Dumbledore rejects it for some reason. Maybe that's why he's so miserable, who knows? What I do know is, and I'll never admit it out loud but, I couldn't wait to watch Snape hand deliver Lockhart's clueless arse back to him in front of the entire school. I wish that Colin was here, I'd pay for those photos and watch them over and over again. "Now, I don't want any of you youngsters to worry — you'll still have your Potions master when I'm through with him, never fear!" Snape's upper lip was curling. I mentally pictured it in my head. Nope, I don't think that would ever get old.
"Wouldn't it be great if they finished each other off?" Ron muttered. I chuckled not so softly. Lockhart and Snape turned to each other and bowed. Well, Lockhart did, flourishing his hands and everything while Snape just jerked his head. They raised their wands at the ready. "As you see, we are holding our wands in the accepted combative position. On the count of three, we will cast our first spells. Neither of us will be aiming to kill, of course." Lockhart explained. "I wouldn't bet on that," Harry said as Snape bared his teeth. I nodded in agreement. They each took seven steps in the opposite direction. "One — two — three —" Where's Bertie's Popping Popcorn Poppers when you need them?
Both of them swung their wands above their heads and pointed them at their opponent; Snape yelled: "Expelliarmus!" There was a flash of scarlet and Lockhart was blasted off of his feet. He flew into the air, past the end of the stage, into the wall and slid down sprawled out on the floor. Merlin's saggy tits, that was even better than I imagined it would be. I burst out laughing, perhaps a bit too loudly as the girls were starting to glare at me. Hiccup.
"Do you think he's all right?" Hermione asked, nervously bitting her thumbnail as Lockhart unsteadily got to his feet and back onto the stage, his hair a mess. "Who cares?" The boys said together. I hiccuped in agreement. Damn, I hate the hiccups. I took a deep breath and held it.
"Well, there you have it! That was a Disarming Charm — as you see, I've lost my wand — ah, thank you Miss Brown — yes, an excellent idea to show them that, Professor Snape, but if you don't mind my saying so, it was very obvious what you were about to do. If I had wanted to stop you it would have been only too easy —" The air I was holding in suddenly whooshed out with the laughs that I couldn't hold back either. Snape was looking particularly murderous, "Perhaps it would be prudent to first teach the students how to block unfriendly spells, Professor." Snape smiled sarcastically. The Strange Smiling Snape had a point. "An excellent suggestion, Professor Snape! Why don't we have a volunteered pair? Miss Longbottom, Mr. Weasley, how about you?" Ron and I slowly started to go up to the stage.
"Weasley's wand causes devastation with even the simplest of spells. We'll be sending what's left of Miss Longbottom to the hospital wing in a matchbox," Snape interrupted and I found myself agreeing with him. That's probably why Lockhart picked us. "Might I suggest someone from my own house? Malfoy perhaps?" Snape suggested with a twisted smile, beckoning Malfoy onto the stage. Do you think he knows that I was the one who threw the firework?
"Excellent idea!" Lockhart exclaimed. Snape whispered something into Malfoy's ear. Of course, Lockhart took that as a challenge and motioned me over to give unneeded advice. "Now, Miss Longbottom, when Mr. Malfoy points his wand at you, you do this." Raising his own wand, he attempted a complicated wiggling motion and dropped it. "Whoops—my wand was a little overexcited—Got it?" My eyebrows wrinkled in confusion, "What?" Lockhart sighed, "Just do what I did!" I cocked an eyebrow, "What, drop my wand?" but it fell on deaf ears.
"Scared, Ivy?" Malfoy taunted. "Shouldn't I be asking you that, Chipmunk?" I threw back. If only glares could kill…we'd both be dead and there would be no need for this duel. We each took our mandatory seven steps away from each other. "Wands at the ready! When I count to three, cast your charms to disarm your opponent—only to disarm—we don't want any accidents. Three—two—"
"Everte Statum!" Malfoy yelled early, catching me off guard. It hit me in the chest and blasted me backwards. So that's the way he wants to play? Fine. I quickly got up and fired back, "Flipendo! Mucus ad Nauseam!" He flipped back into the air, landing right on his arse, and started sniffling. Snape roughly picked Malfoy up just as the Curse of the Bogies really started to kick in and his nose started to run at a disgusting rate. He tried to wipe them on his sleeve but it just kept coming. He raised his wand and cried out, "Serpensortia!" conjuring a black snake that landed about three feet in front of me. Malfoy and Snape smiled. "Don't move, Longbottom. I'll get rid of it for you." Snape drawled as he approached the snake. "It's okay, Professor. I'm not afraid of a little snake." I said, staring at Malfoy. I even took a couple steps closer to prove my point.
Lockhart marched his way in front of me, "Allow me!" he shouted, twirling his wand at the snake. Instead of vanishing it flew about ten feet into the air and fell back onto the stage with a loud thump. Enraged, the snake hissed furiously. Wow, what a good plan. Why didn't I think of pissing the snake off? Maybe because I'm not a blooming idiot… The snake bared its fangs at me as it slithered closer. I very slowly took a couple steps back. Now, I normally wouldn't be afraid of a snake bite, but I didn't know enough about snakes to know whether this one was poisonous or not and I don't really feel like dying today. "Sighiahs asheeth," I heard from my right. Harry? The snake turned and slithered towards them. "Sighiahs asheeth," Harry repeated in some kind of daze. Oh my Merlin; Harry's a Parselmouth. The snake looked at Harry and then back at Justin, who had squealed next to him, and bared his fangs. "Sighiahs iheth." Harry hissed again, recapturing the snakes attention.
"Vipera Evanesca." Snape muttered, but in the silence of the Great Hall he might as well have shouted, and the snake disappeared with a puff of black smoke. "What are you playing at?" Justin yelled at Harry. Harry looked around frantically, wondering why everyone was staring at him they way they were. Even Malfoy seemed to be trying to catch flies. I hopped off the stage, "Come on," I said, dragging Nev and Harry away, knowing that Ron and Hermione wouldn't be too far behind.
Once we reached the common room I pushed Harry into a chair in the corner. "You're a Parselmouth! Why didn't you tell us?" Harry blinked up at me cluelessly. "I'm a what?" he asked. "A Parselmouth!" Nev whispered loudly. "You can talk to snakes!"
"I know," Harry said simply, as if it were no big deal. "I mean, that's only the second time I've ever done it. I accidentally set a boa constructor on my cousin Dudley at the zoo once — long story — but it was telling me that it had never seen Brazil and I sort of set it free without meaning to — that was before I knew that I was a wizard —" He explained. "A boa constructor told you that he had never seen Brazil?" Ron repeated faintly. "So?" Harry said defensively. "I bet loads of people here can do it." I slowly shook my head, "That's just the thing. It's not a very common gift, Harry."
"This is bad." Nev stated obviously. "What's bad? What's wrong with everyone?" Harry said angrily. "If I hadn't told that snake not to attack Callie and Justin—" From the look on Ron's face, if I had a candle to put on his head, he'd light it. "Oh, so that's what you said to it?" Ron said. "What do you mean? You were there — you heard me!" Ron shook his head. "No, I heard you speaking Parseltongue; snake language. You could have been saying anything — no wonder Justin panicked, you sounded like you were egging the snake on or something — it was creepy, you know."
Harry gaped at us for a moment or two. "I spoke a different language? But — I didn't realize — how can I speak a language without knowing I can speak it?" We all looked cluelessly at each other. "Either way, what's wrong with stopping a massive snake from going on a rampage? What does it matter how I did it as long as Callie and Justin don't have to join the Headless Hunt?"
The portrait to the common room opened, letting the Gryffindor's stream in, making sure to eye Harry warily as if they didn't know who he was anymore. Even Seamus and Dean went up to the dorms, ignoring him completely. "It matters," Hermione said, speaking at last with a hushed voice, "because being able to talk to snakes was what Salazar Slytherin was famous for. That's why the symbol of Slytherin House is a serpent." Harry's mouth dropped open as he finally began to understand what this means. "Exactly," I said in agreement. "And now the entire school is going to think that you're his great-great-great-great-great-grandson or something —"
"But I'm not! I can't be…" Harry denied. "He lived about a thousand years ago; for all we know, you could be."
A/N: So I've been rewriting and rearranging these next few chapters but still something just doesn't seem right. So I cut the first part in half and posted that at least. It's Potter Day, how could I not? So this one is for you my fellow Pottheads I hope you like it. I'll try not to take too long reworking the next one.
Reviews=love.
P.S. who else is watching Harry Potter and the Birthday weekend?
"Seriously misunderstood creatures spiders are. It's the eyes I reckon, they unnerve some folk."
"Not to mention the pinchers..."
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