guess who got off their lazy ass and decided to update bc letting a fic like this wither away would probably be a capital offense (i really love my own fics okay)

i'll do two chapters today this one's short bc the next section didn't make any sense in this context

=== Be John Egbert

I only hesitate for a second. He's put trust in me, allowed me a romantic entrance into his life, and this might fuck it all up.

But it has to be said.

"Okay," I reply with a deep breath. "This is the thing, my brain's build a little differently than most. I'm asexual; basically, I'm not attracted to anyone sexually." My eyes are on my lap, almost unable to see which emotion's stuck in his eyes. "I'm also an asexual that doesn't want sex. I… might never want sex." Nervously, I fidget with my hands, unsure as to how Karkat's going to react.

There's a pause. And it just lasts and lasts.

"And?"

"And what?"

"Do you just want me to leave you or something?" His voice is soft, at least as Karkat goes.

"Well, people have before," I shrug. "Not to me personally, but it's a… thing. People expect sex in a relationship," I mumble softly.

There's another long pause, then grey fingers tap my leg and I look up to an extremely unamused troll. "People are stupid," he explains simply. "If I care about you, I wouldn't leave you for something that fucking petty."

"Really?" I blink, surprised, but that melts into a big smile. "That's… good."

"Egbert, all the sex in the fucking world won't float a bad relationship." He puts his hands on cross-legged knees. "Same way, if you've got a good relationship, lack of sex won't turn it sour." Shrugging slightly, he concludes, "Yeah, I want sex in a relationship. But I want the fucking relationship first."

Yeah, that smile's here to stay. I'm grinning my fool head off. "Well, I can try to provide the relationship… and we'll go from there?"

He offers me a little tired smile, and that alone is utterly worth it. "We'll go from there. Try to make things work. If you can fucking deal with me, I'll do the same for you."

"Okay," I nod. "I love you, Karkat." The words are just a little bit hesitant, but they're completely genuine.

"I…" his eyes cloud, and I see a deep pain hidden there before his gaze drops to his lap. "I know." It's a mumble, almost an apology that he doesn't return the words. Then, after a pause, he looks back up to me. "Wanna go meet Carmine?"

"That sounds great," I reassure him. "After I make breakfast and get ready."

"Take your fucking time, I'm not in a hurry." He leans back onto the arm of the sofa, closing his eyes, and I get up to go make breakfast. "Thanks," he mutters, and I can tell it's just an all-encompassing thanks. Thanking me for all I've done.

I turn back to him with a smile, pressing my lips to his forehead. "No problem."