Positive
You felt dizzy as you walked the halls of the ship back to your quarters. You couldn't think straight. You felt drunk. Everything was a blur. The doctor's words swam around your brain.
"I would suggest taking the rest of the day off."
"Are you going to be okay, miss?"
"Do you need me to contact anyone?"
You eventually found your door, entering and securing it before heading straight for your datapad. You sent a quick message to the General.
Sir,
Extremely ill, can't make it in today.
Severe apologies,
(L/N)
You threw the datapad down on the sofa, then headed straight for your bedroom and curled up in bed, wrapping the bed covers tightly around you. You felt numb inside. You closed your eyes and began to sob into your pillow. Once the tears started they wouldn't stop. You clutched the covers tightly, feeling as though your world was collapsing.
The test results had proved positive. You were pregnant with the General's baby. 6 weeks to be exact.
The doctor had not congratulated you. She knew this wasn't what you wanted. She had removed the implant, talked to you about your options and given you some leaflets detailing the same information.
You hadn't been able to absorb any of the information, however. The minute she'd said the word 'pregnant' everything had gone out of the window. All you could imagine was the General's reaction. Would he be angry, sad, happy? How would Emily react? Not to mention everyone else on the ship. Everyone would know you'd been fucking the General. You'd probably lose your job. What would your parents think?
It was all too much. You couldn't bare to face work, hence the quick message and straight to bed.
You cried yourself to sleep. Your dreams were erratic. You dreamt of pregnancy bumps. Giving birth. Your parents telling you that you were a disappointment. The General shouting and punishing you. You dreamt that you would lose your job and be sent back home, everyone around you having disowned you, leaving you completely alone with this red-haired baby that you wold resent for the rest of your life.
You woke a little while later. You rolled over and looked at the clock on your nightstand. 14:23. You got up to use the bathroom, then headed to the kitchen to get yourself some water. Your eyes were puffy, your face sore, and your mouth incredibly dry. You swallowed a pint of water before refilling the glass and making your way to the sofa in your sitting area.
You were scared to check your datapad but did so anyway.
One message from Emily and two from the General. You went straight to the General's messages.
(L/N),
This is not the proper channel for calling in sick to a shift.
What is your ailment?
Regards,
General A. Hux
(L/N),
Please report to my office.
General A. Hux
The second message was sent sometime late morning. Obviously, you weren't going to report to his office now. You knew he would probably come looking for you eventually.
You took your datapad and your water and went back to bed. You put them both on the nightstand before settling into your covers once more. You felt safe and protected in your bed.
Your mind began to wander. You thought about how you'd felt over the last few weeks. Not much different to normal, but you remembered missing a few meals here and there, due to nausea. You'd been sleeping a little more, going to bed a bit earlier each evening. Your activities with the General had remained as prolific as ever. There weren't many other signs. The obvious one would have been a missed period, but you didn't have them.
You were angry at the medbay for getting your patient notes wrong. But what could be done about it now?
You were just about to drop off to sleep again when you heard a noise. A noise you'd been waiting for but were dreading.
RAP RAP RAP!
The loud knocking at your door. You couldn't tell for sure but you were pretty certain it was the General. You didn't want to have to face him. You knew you wouldn't be able to fake it or lie. But you knew you were going to have to tell him sooner or later. You tried to ignore the knocking. But it wouldn't stop. In fact, it soon turned to loud banging.
You threw the covers off and went to answer the door. You opened up to find General Hux standing there, a look of utter disgust on his face.
"What the hell is going on, (L/N)?" He sounded incredibly angry.
You turned away from him and walked over to the couch. "Like I told you, I'm not well."
"We are getting backed up with work, (L/N), and you don't look very sick to me."
You sat on the couch staring straight ahead.
He walked over and stood in front of you, looking down at you. "You've never let us down before (L/N). You're going to tell me right now what's going on, or I shall be forced to take disciplinary measures."
You stared up at him, a single tear threatening, your face puffy and red. After a long pause, you finally opened your mouth.
"I'm pregnant."
The words echoed around the room. It felt as though someone else had said them. It didn't feel real. You'd never seen such a look on the General's face. The colour appeared to have drained from it.
His mouth hung open as he tried to process the information. He then began to sit down extremely slowly, his hands reaching out to grab your coffee table in an attempt to steady himself.
"You're... you're pregnant?"
"Yeah... so forgive me if I can't face work today, Sir."
"With my child?"
"Yes."
"What about the regulation implant?"
"They messed up something in my file. Didn't get it changed in time."
His face wasn't its usual icy exterior, but you couldn't quite gauge how he was feeling either. The anger had left his voice. His face was sombre. The only way you could have described it would be complete shock.
"Don't you have anything else to say?!" you were starting to get angry.
He looked at you properly for the first time. "I don't know what you want me to say, (L/N)." You could tell he felt extremely uncomfortable, from his body language.
"Gee, I don't know, show some emotion. Are you happy? Sad? Angry? Cos I'm sure as hell angry! Tell me to keep it, get rid of it. Just tell me something!"
"You are not getting rid of my child." you looked at you sternly.
You felt angry. "No offence, Sir, but it's MY body! And the decision is mine!"
"That is MY child in there. I do get a say in this."
"Well, then, SAY something useful, will you?"
You both looked at each other angrily, until the anger turned to sadness and you slumped into a couch cushion and began to sob your heart out. You curled your legs up on the sofa, and hugged them close to your body, needing to feel safe and protected.
"I can't have this baby." you mumbled into a cushion, tears staining the fabric.
The General stood and walked into the fresher, returning with a small packet of tissues. He offered the packet to you. He didn't touch you. He didn't know how to console you.
He watched you sob, before standing up and saying, "Take the rest of the week off, (L/N). You need to rest. In fact, I think you should check into medbay."
"I think they've done enough." you said sharply.
You should have felt happy that the General did not want the child terminated, but you just couldn't help feeling angry, sad, lost and lonely. Having this child was NOT something you wanted. It was going to ruin everything.