Things seemed to be getting worse for the boys instead of better. I mean they lose their mom to Azazel, then Sam loses Jess, next their dad sells his soul, after that Sam dies so Dean sells his, he goes to hell for 4 months causing Sam to befriend Ruby, they fight over Sam's powers, and now they find out they had a half brother. When we had showed up to meet Adam Milligan I was almost as positive as Dean that it was a trap. The feelings I were getting from him were anger and revenge; makes little to no sense for a kid who needed help finding his mother. Turns out the real Adam Milligan was their brother, but a ghoul had killed him and his mother as retribution for the death of their father at the hands of John Winchester and taken his place. It would seem this whole family is doomed to heartache and pain. Sam had even tried to push me away after the case, but I put a stop to that.
"You need to get out while you can. Being around us will only get you killed," Sam said sounding as heartbroken as he felt. He didn't really want me gone, but he couldn't stand the thought of me being hurt either. "I done told you once Sam Winchester and I'll tell you again. I'm here for you no matter what till the end," I replied. My face held a stern look trying to make him see I meant it. "I know that, but baby I don't want you to die because of me," Sam whispered as he held my arms looking down at me. "I was a hunter before I met you boys. If Bobby hadn't been at my house that night I would already be dead. Not to mention I got angel in me Sam. So if something happens to me it's not because I'm with the Winchesters. It's because of who I am and the life I chose to live," I explained. His resolve to push me away faltered as he pulled me close, wrapping his arms around me. "I love you Sam. I'm not going anywhere," I mumbled into his chest, but he managed to hear me. "I love you too and I don't want you too," he replied placing a kiss to the top of my head.
They had both suffered so much and worried about what would happen to me. I was grateful I had them in my life and I promised I would do everything I could to make their lives better. With those thoughts I drifted into a dreamless sleep. My head rested on Sam's arm as we lay on our sides facing each other. I had my arm over top his as he held me tight and our legs tangled together. It was maybe 20 minutes later when Dean woke us saying we had to meet Castiel somewhere. He drove us to a warehouse and we pulled out our flashlights to look around. "Well, what did he say, Dean? What was so important?" Sam asked. We were all upset about being drug here in the middle of the night. "If I knew, would I be here?" Dean asked in return. I could tell he was just as confused as we were. Sam, Dean, and I ascended a flight of stairs. The place we were in was completely trashed. "What the hell?" Dean muttered. "It looks like a bomb went off," Sam replied. And it truly did. There were black marks all over the place that seemed to make out shapes, but I couldn't tell what they were.
"There was a fight here," Dean said looking around. "Between who?" Sam asked. Was Castiel here when the fight happened? If so why where was he now? Dean's flashlight landed on a symbol painted in blood on the wall. It looked like the one Anna had made back at the cabin. "Check it out. Look familiar?" Dean asked. "Yeah, it does," Sam replied. "Anna used something like that to wish the angels back to the cornfield," Dean explained. It was then I started to feel pain; a headache from hell. I also felt extreme confusion and fear. "So, what? Cas was fighting angels?" Sam questioned. He then looked at me and saw the pained look on my face. I had figured out how to keep others emotions from combining with my own, but my new power was still overwhelming. "Cassidy what is it?" Sam asked. I pointed where I felt the emotions and pain coming from.
Dean went over and began to move the rubble. "Sam. Cassidy. Cas? Cas. Hey, Cas?" Dean called for us before talking to Castiel. It didn't feel like him though and that confused me. "What's . . . ? What's . . . ? What's going on?" he stuttered. "Just take it easy. Take it easy," Dean tried to calm him. I walked closer and looked at him. He had clearly been part of the fight, but this wasn't Castiel. "Cas, you okay?" Sam asked. I shook my head. "That's not Cas," I said causing Sam and Dean to whip their head's around. "What?" they both asked. "Ugh. Castiel. I'm not Castiel. It's me," the answer came from the man on the ground. "Who's me?" Sam asked. "Jimmy. My name's Jimmy," he answered. So this was Castiel's vessel, but where was Cas? "Where the hell is Castiel?" Dean asked. "He's gone," Jimmy replied. Well that sounds ominous.
We stopped and got food for Jimmy and me before going back to the motel. Jimmy was starving and I couldn't blame him; I would be too. Actually I kind of was thanks to him. I slowly took a bite of my burger as Jimmy devoured his quickly. He made a noise of enjoyment not slowing down in the least bit. "You mind slowing down? You're gonna give me angina," Dean said. If it wasn't for the fact I felt some on Jimmy's hunger I probably would have put my own food down. "I'm hungry," he said. Well no duh you've had an angel riding you for how long? "When's the last time you ate?" Sam asked. He looked at me and saw I was eating even though I had not that long ago. "You okay?" he mouthed. I nodded my head as Jimmy answered him, "I don't know. Months." He then began to eat ravenously again. "Mmm. Mmm. Mmm!" he moaned. Sam and Dean were more concerned with Cas than how hungry Jimmy was. "What the hell happened back there? It looked like an angel battle royale," Sam questioned. "All I remember is a flash of light and I, uh . . . I woke up and I was just, you know, like, me again." Jimmy explained.
I had finished my burger and fought the desire to eat another one. "So, what? Cas just ditched out of your meat suit?" Dean enquired. None of this was making sense. I may not have been as close to Cas as Dean was becoming, but I was still worried about him. "I really don't know," Jimmy answered. "You remember anything about being possessed? Anything at all?" Sam asked. If he knew anything every demon under the sun would be after him. Probably would even if he didn't. "Yeah, bits and pieces. I mean, angel inside of you, it's kinda like being chained to a comet," Jimmy explained. Now I was grateful I could only feel the angel instead of both the angel and the vessel they inhabited. "Ah, that doesn't sound like much fun," Dean said frowning. They both looked at me concerned. "Don't worry I couldn't feel what Jimmy was feeling until Cas was gone. Guess I can only feel the one running the show," I tried to ease their worry. "Cas said he wanted to tell us something. Please tell me you remember that," Sam practically begged. "Sorry," Jimmy apologized. "Come on, what do you know?" Dean asked. "My name is Jimmy Novak. I'm from Pontiac, Illinois. I have a family," he told us.
Sam and Dean went outside to talk while I sat with Jimmy. "I'm sorry you've been away from your family. I can tell you really miss them. I wouldn't know what to do if I was away from the boys that long," I told him. He looked at me with a sad smile. "You really do understand don't you? I can see it in your eyes," he said. I flushed and looked down. I thought I had got better at schooling my emotions, but apparently not. Or maybe it was just because I didn't have a reason to hide them. "Yeah I do. I still miss my husband months later. I love Sam don't get me wrong. And losing him would probably kill me, but I'll always love and miss my husband," I explained. He smiled at me grateful that I was willing to open up. It made it easier to deal with not seeing his family knowing that at least they were still alive.
When Sam and Dean came back inside an argument began. Jimmy wanted to go home, but the boys felt it wasn't safe. As much as I hated to agree with them, they were most likely right. After sometime Jimmy gave up trying to leave and we all went to bed. Sam was going to keep first watch to make sure Jimmy didn't try to leave so he told me to share Dean's bed for now so that Jimmy could get some sleep. I didn't mind sharing with Dean before I got with Sam, but now I was worried if we ended up cuddling like I was apt to do Sam would get jealous. He gave me a small kiss and said, "It's fine you cuddle its not a big deal. I know nothing is going to happen I'm right here, I trust you, and you need sleep. I know you didn't get much earlier." I finally agreed and laid down. It didn't take long and I was asleep. I was laying on my right side facing the other bed with one arm tucked under my pillow and the other at my side. I was once again woke up before I was ready. This time was because Jimmy had managed to escape.
Sam hurriedly packed his bag. Mine was still packed so I just slipped my jeans on over my sleep shorts, put a bra on, slipped my boots on, and put my hair in a ponytail. "Dean. Would you hurry up?" Sam questioned as Dean brushed his teeth. He laughed with the toothbrush still in his mouth. "Sorry, uh, this is funny to you?" Sam asked. "Mr. Big-Bad-Prison-Guard, Jimmy McMook give you the slip? Yeah, it's pretty funny. What were you doing, anyway?" Dean asked. I was wondering the same thing. Where had Sam been when Jimmy left? "I was getting a Coke," Sam said. I instantly knew it for the lie it was, but didn't bothering questioning it right now. It was imperative that we find Jimmy and an argument would slow us down. "Was it a refreshing Coke?" Dean joked. I decided joking was the better bet for now. "I doubt it Dean Pepsi is way better," I added. Sam rolled his eyes at our antics and asked, "Can we just go, please?"
Dean was driving down the road when all of a sudden Anna was beside me. I screamed in surprise causing Dean to jerk the wheel. "Smooth," Anna tells him. "You ever try calling ahead?" Dean asked. I just looked at her not happy about the surprise visit. "I like the element of surprise," she replied. "Yeah well next time give a warning. I'd like to live a little longer," I told her. She looked over at me with a small smile. "Cassidy my great niece. I see your powers have grown," she said. I frowned not understanding if my grandfather was the nephilim who was the other person with powers in the family besides me? "You look terrific," Dean flirted. I shot him an incredulous look. Now was certainly not the time. "Um, yeah, not the most appropriate time, Dean. You let Jimmy get away?" she asked. "Talk to ginormo here," Dean threw Sam under the bus. "Sam. You seem different," she said. He was different had been for awhile I just assumed it had something to do with his powers and didn't question it. "Me? I don't know. Heh. A haircut?" Sam questioned back. "That's not what I'm talking about," Anna told him giving him a meaningful look.
"What's that supposed to mean?" I asked. She ignored me and I fumed. There were few things that pissed me off in life. Being lied to and ignored were on the top of the list. "So, what'd Jimmy tell you? He remember anything?" Anna asked. I ground my teeth together wanting some answers. What did Anna know that I didn't? "Why? What's going on?" Dean asked. "That's what I want to know," I put in my two scents. Once again Anna ignored me. "It's Cas. He got sent back home. Well, more like dragged back," Anna explained. "To heaven? That's not a good thing?" Dean asked her. "No. That's a very bad thing. Painfully, awfully bad. He must have seriously pissed someone off," Anna informed him. Well since she wanted to ignore me. I decided to do the childish thing and ignore her. I blocked out the rest of their conversation completely. We stopped at a gas station on the way to Illinois to fill the Impala up. "Hey Dean what do you think Anna meant earlier?" I asked leaning out my window as Dean filled the Impala up. "I don't know Cassidy. Just talk to Sam when you get the chance," he replied. I knew that was the end of the discussion as Sam came back and gave me a bottle of water and some apple chips.
We arrived at Jimmy's house just in time for Dean to stab one of the demons with Ruby's knife through the neck. The demon in the female's body stood back up and approached Sam. He threw his hand up and tried to use his psychic powers, but they did no good. What was going on? "Go. Get them out of here," Sam told us. Dean and I ushered Jimmy and his daughter out of the house. I ran back in to see Sam still having problems. "Aw. Can't get it up, can you, Sam?" she asked as Sam almost fainted. "No, but I can." Dean tells her. He lifted the knife to kill her, but the demon fled before he could. I walked over and grabbed Sam. "Are you okay? Why couldn't you kill her?" I asked. Sam looked up at me. "I'm fine," Sam said, but before he could answer my second question Dean was pulling us out toward the Impala. When we got out there Jimmy and Claire were waiting for us. "Thank God," Jimmy said. I looked around trying to spot his wife. "Where's your wife?" Dean enquired. "Right here," she said walking up to us. I gave her a funny look knowing something was off, but my concern for Am pushed it to the back of my mind. It was a tight fit with all of us in the Impala, but we managed it so we could leave.
Dean pulled over once we made it far enough away. I climbed out of the car with Sam, Dean, and Jimmy. "You were right," Jimmy said. This was one of the few times I hated being right. "I'm sorry we were," Dean said apologetically. "I'm telling you, I don't know anything," Jimmy informed us. I knew he was telling the truth, but the demons wouldn't care. "I don't think they're inclined to believe you," Dean replied. "No demons are dicks like that," I agreed. "And even if they did, you're a vessel. They're still gonna wanna know what makes you tick," Sam said. "Which means vivisection, if they're feeling generous," Dean told him. Demons did seem to enjoy their torture. "I'm gonna tell you once again, you're putting your family in danger. You have to come with us," Sam implored. I didn't know who I felt sorrier for; Jimmy or his family. "How long? And don't give me that 'cross that bridge when we get to it' crap," Jimmy asked. "Don't you get it? Forever. The demons will never stop. You can never be with your family. So you either get as far away from them as possible or you put a bullet in your head. And that's how you keep your family safe. But there's no getting out and there's no going home," Sam said. "Well, don't sugarcoat it, Sam," Dean told him. "I'm just telling him the truth, Dean. Someone has to," Sam replied. I looked at him hurt with tears in my eyes. My sweet Sammy was never that cruel; what was going on with him? "Sam, he needs the truth, but you could have been gentler about it," I said. Sam looked at me and saw how upset I was. "You're right I'm sorry. It's just—" Sam started. "You feel Jess would still be alive if someone gave you that speech," I interrupted. He nodded his head. Would there ever be a day we didn't blame ourselves for the deaths of our loved ones?
Sam hotwired a car for Amelia and Claire so they could go home. Sam, Dean, Jimmy, and I got in the Impala and left. It was raining and Jimmy was asleep against the window. "What the hell happened back there?" Dean asked. "What?" Sam questioned in return. "You know what Sam. I asked the same thing before Dean pulled us out of there," I told him. I knew there were somethings he wanted to keep from Dean, but he promised me no secrets. "You practically fainted trying to gank a demon," Dean added. Sam squirmed in his seat and I could tell he was aggravated at the questioning, but we deserved to know. "Okay, I didn't faint. I got a little dizzy," Sam corrected him; because the logistics mattered right now. "Well, you can call it whatever you want. Point is, you used to be strong enough to kill Alastair. Now you can't even kill a stunt-demon number three?" Dean questioned. "What do you want me to say about it, guys?" Sam asked us. "The truth," I murmured almost to quiet to hear. Sam shot me a questioning look. That was all I ever wanted from him; the truth and his love. "Well for starters, what's going on with your mojo? I mean, it's yo-yoing all over the place. I'm not trying to pick a fight here, okay? I just – you're scaring me, man. And I'm pretty sure you're scaring Cassidy," Dean told him. Sam sighed and said, "I'm scaring myself."
Before I could say anything else his phone began to ring. "Hello?" he answered it. It was Jimmy's wife; she was possessed and had his daughter. Dean turned the Impala around and headed toward the abandoned warehouse where Jimmy's family was supposed to be. When we arrived we came up with a plan. "Alright, they're expecting you to come alone. That's exactly what you're gonna do," Dean told Jimmy. "We'll work our way through the catwalks. We'll be right behind you," Sam added. I gave him a smile and said, "You'll be safe I promise." "She's right. All you gotta do is stay calm and stall. Let us do our job," Dean said. I just hoped our plan worked. "You want me to stay calm? This is my family we're talking about," Jimmy asked us. "Listen to me, this will work. You understand? Nobody's gonna get hurt," Dean tried to reassure him. "Yeah, whatever. Give me a minute, okay?" Jimmy asked before walking toward the warehouse. "There's no way they're expecting him to come alone, Dean. You know this is probably a trap," Sam said. "He's right Dean. Those demons know us better than that," I said. "Yeah, I know. That's why I have a plan," Dean said.
Unfortunately his plan hadn't worked out and we were captured. Four demons led us into the room where Jimmy, Claire, and a possessed Amelia were. "Nice plan, Dean." Sam said. We were all pissed about being caught while Jimmy worried for his family and the demons were excited. "Yeah, well, nobody bats 1,000." Dean replied. "Got the knife?" Amelia asked. One of the demons holding Sam showed her the knife. "And you know what's funny?" she asked. Dean being the smartass he is answered, "You wearing a soccer mom." Leave it to him to say something like that. "Is I was actually bummed to get this detail, picking up an empty vessel. Sort of like a milk run. Now look who landed in my lap," she continued not missing a beat. "Look lady only lap I'm sitting on is his," I said nodding my head toward Sam. He looked at me and back to her. "Yeah, well, you got us, okay? Let these people go," he said. "Oh, Sam. It's easy to act chivalrous when your Wonder Girl powers aren't working, huh? Now for the punch line. Everybody dies," Amelia said before holding up a gun and shooting Jimmy in the gut. "Waste little orphan Annie," She told one of the demons.
Amelia leaves the room while the demon walks around Jimmy and towards Claire, who is still tied to a chair and unconscious. The demon picks up a pipe and swings it towards Claire, but she suddenly grabs the pipe in one hand and places the other hand on the demon's forehead. The demon screams as he is exorcised in a bright light. Using the distraction, Sam, Dean, and I turn on the demons holding us. While we struggle, Claire broke free of her bonds. Although I knew it wasn't actually Claire, the feeling I had told me it was Cas. Sam, Dean, and I continue to fight the Demons. I was fighting as hard as possible, but it was getting me nowhere. I hit the demon I was fighting only for him to knock me to the ground. I stood back up and kicked him knocking him back near Cas who exorcised him. Dean was being pummeled by the male demon, when Cas approached and placed his hand on his head, exorcising him. Sam who now had Ruby's knife cut the neck of the female demon and drank her blood. He turned toward us, mouth still bloody, to see Dean, Castiel, (still in Claire's body) and I watching him in horror. Sam turned back and stabbed the demon through the heart with Ruby's knife, killing her, and then turned towards Dean, Castiel, and me again. He stands and holds out his hand, just in time to catch Amelia and exorcise her with his recharged psychic powers. Dean holds Amelia up and Cas goes over to Jimmy, who is dying from his gunshot wound.
So this was how Sam got so strong. I didn't know whether I was more pissed or hurt that he had kept it from me. Should I blame him or Ruby? She was the one who got him addicted in the first place, but he could have come to me. I would have done my best to help him get away from it. Now I was horrified to learn just how bad he really was. I still loved him of course and I would fight to get past this. I just didn't know what to do right now. What do you say to the person you love when you find out they're addicted to demon blood? It's not like there's a book on what to do. Cas returned to Jimmy's body after a short conversation. He went to walk past us, but Dean stopped him. "Cas, hold up. What were you gonna tell me?" he asked. Cas turned toward us and said, "I learned my lesson while I was away, Dean. I serve heaven, I don't serve man, and I certainly don't serve you," before walking away.
Dean drove down the road as it continued raining. It was like the whether matched my feelings. I was so disappointed in myself for not seeing this sooner. I should have known not to let him talk to Ruby once he told me. I never trusted that stupid bitch and I should have listened to my gut instincts on this one. Why didn't I? Because I felt I could trust the man who holds my heart. "All right, let's hear it," Sam said. I looked at him wondering what he was talking about. "What?" Dean and I asked. "You saw what I did. Come on, stop the car, take a swing. Yell at me Cassidy tell me you don't want to be with me," Sam replied. I wasn't mad well at least not at him. "I'm not gonna take a swing," Dean said when I remained silent. "Then scream, chew me out," Sam replied. "I'm not mad, Sam." Dean said. Sam looked at me I just shook my head. "You're not mad?" he asked us both. "Nope," Dean answered. "I'm hurt you kept it from me. Hurt you felt you couldn't come to me with a problem like this, but not mad," I told him truthfully.
"Right. Look, at least let me explain myself," Sam said. I was ready to listen to his explanation. I hoped if I understood the why's and how's that I could help him get past this. "Don't. I don't care," Dean told him. But I did care probably more than I should. I wanted to help Sam because I loved him. Without even trying he had fixed me in more ways than I can explain and I wanted to do the same for him. "You don't care?" Sam asked. "I do," I said, but it came out so quiet I wasn't heard. "What do you want me to say, that I'm disappointed? Yeah, I am. But, mostly, I'm just tired, man. I'm done. I am just done," Dean told him. Done? What does that mean? Sam's phone rang and he answered it. "Hey, Bobby." He said. I couldn't hear what Bobby was saying, but when Sam said, "What's going on?" I knew something was up. "What'd he say?" Dean asked. Sam told us he wanted us to get there as fast as possible so Dean pushed on the gas a little more.
When we got there we found Bobby near the panic room. "Well thanks for shaking a tail," Bobby said. "Yeah, you got it," Dean replied. Sam opened the door to the panic room. "Go on inside. I wanna show you something," Bobby told him. Sam walked in and I went to follow, but Dean caught my arm. I looked at him in confusion, but he just shook his head. "All right. So, uh, what's the big demon problem?" Sam asked. "You are. This is for your own good," Bobby said as he and Dean closed and locked the door. "What you can't just leave him in there," I said trying to get to him. Dean grabbed me and looked at me seriously. "Cassidy he has to get that crap out of his system. This is for the best," he told me. Best for whom though I wonder. "Guys? Hey, hey. What?" Sam asked. I know he was freaked out and I didn't know how to help. There was no way Dean was going to let me, let Sam out. Bobby closed and latched the window as I watched tears pouring down my face much like the rain had poured down the Impala's windows earlier. My heart throbbed wanting to throw open that door and comfort Sam as he comforted me in return. His screams tore at me in every way possible, but Dean held me back. That is until I couldn't take it anymore and ran.
So I can't believe it but there are only 2 episodes left of season 4 meaning only 2-4 more chapters for this book. I can't believe its almost done. *Happy dance* I hope you guys are still enjoying this. If so review and let me know what ya think