Evan paced the length of the parking lot, checking license plates as if it would help. He knew what Connor's car looked like, and it definitely wasn't there. He looped around and started back towards the building. Zoe was waiting at the front door, having checked the staff lot. She hadn't found him either.
It was Wednesday, and Connor hadn't shown up to school. Zoe said his car had been at home when she left for jazz band that morning, but then he wasn't in class. Now it was lunch and there was still no sign of him. Neither Zoe nor Evan could understand why he would skip: Zoe had given him the ultimatum about improving his behavior on Monday after Evan left, and he had told her to fuck off. She'd been ok with that, saying it was a typical Connor response. Plus, he'd gone to school yesterday, still eerily depressed but ironically humorous with Evan and Jared. He had ignored Zoe completely and handed Alana his latest piece for the newspaper in silence. The skipping today couldn't be related to any of that.
Evan and Zoe walked back in silent thought. They arrived at the courtyard to see Jared and Alana sitting a safe four feet away from each other, staring at them with concern.
"What's going on?" Jared asked.
"Connor didn't come to school today," Evan replied. "And he's ignoring our texts."
"Have you called your parents yet, Zoe?" Alana asked. Zoe didn't seem to hear her, chewing on her lip and staring off into the distance absentmindedly. Evan took her hand and squeezed it. When she looked at him, he could see the tears welling in her eyes. She was trying hard not to let them out in front of Jared and Alana.
"We're not telling the Murphy's yet," he responded for her. "There's nothing they can do from Malaysia. Plus he's probably fine, just playing hooky or something," he squeezed Zoe's hand as he spoke. She squeezed back and gave him a halfhearted smile. If Connor had texted her anything, even some nasty text, it would be better than not knowing where he was.
"Can you go home and check if he's there?" Jared asked.
"We both have that English discussion after lunch, and then I have a physics test and she has a French presentation."
"These teachers just can't give us a break. And homecoming week too!" Alana harrumphed.
"I'm pretty sure that's why they're not giving us a break," Jared pointed out. "But yeah, makes sense you can't go check. I would go for you, if I weren't in all your classes."
"Same," Alana said quietly, eyes fixed on Zoe.
"He's probably just at home taking a day off. I'm sure everything's fine," Evan tried to quell the situation, wanting to take Zoe's mind off it. Jared caught on quickly.
"What's the sitch with our dear district paper pushers?" he asked Alana.
"Well it's only gotten worse, let me tell you," Alana began, eager to share her research and relishing in Jared's attention. Evan turned back to Zoe and she squeezed his hand gratefully, having gotten her tears under control. Shakily, they managed to get a meal down. It was hard to pretend everything was ok, but if they didn't, they wouldn't be able to survive the day.
The bell rang and they all walked to English together. Evan paused outside of the classroom and pulled Zoe to the side before going in.
"I think we should tell your parents," he murmured. Zoe looked at him, reluctance framing her features.
"Only if he's done something bad today. If he's just ditching, that's fine."
"Zoe, do you remember when I was over for dinner that very first time? And your dad agreed to give Connor a month before re-evaluating everything?" Zoe nodded. "Well it's been nearly two, and almost everything you argued wouldn't happen has happened since then. Connor's been using, he skips therapy and now he's skipping school too. It's bad."
"It's different though," Zoe pleaded. "He has friends now, he has reasons to keep fighting."
"I don't think that's enough. He needs help."
"My dad doesn't get it though. That's the only reason I'm hiding stuff from him. I know what's going on with Connor isn't ok, but it's better than if he went to that school in Pennsylvania, I promise you. Connor's flunked out of rehab too many times for my dad's taste."
"I just don't think Connor's going to get better like this though."
"I know," Zoe began chewing on her lip again, working up a red spot where her teeth kept scraping over the delicate skin. Evan reached out and put his thumb gently over the spot, stopping her from chewing it more. She half-smiled, meeting his eye with embarrassment. She was used to stopping his ticks, not the other way around.
"I'm on your side Zoe," Evan whispered. "I don't want to get him busted or anything. But I hate seeing him struggle, and you get hurt, and all this hiding stuff from your parents is just hard."
"I know." Zoe responded. They stood there like that for a moment, just looking at each other. It all felt impossible, so much bigger and scarier than them. But somehow, some way, it felt safe there, in that moment, eyes locked, standing outside their English classroom. Just for a moment.
"Look, we should get inside," Zoe glanced through the door, where Jared and Alana were watching them with knowing looks. "We can talk more about this later. Whatever happens though, I want to have fun this weekend. Unless Connor is dead, we are going to make that happen, ok?"
"Ok," Evan smiled at her and they hugged quickly, minding the eyes of the classroom on them. They walked in together, a little more at peace than they were before.
Zoe and Evan stared in silence through the windshield of the bug. She had used a remote to open all the garage bays, and the only car inside was Larry's little red Porsche.
"Maybe he went to a coffee shop or something?" Evan broached the silence, trying to assume the best.
They sat in silence for a moment, knowing full well he wasn't at a coffee shop. Evan remembered the previous weekend at the orchard all too well, Connor's car spewing gravel as he headed off to some unknown place in search of his prized drugs. The side of his life that he kept deeply private, hidden from both of them, loomed too large. If he didn't want to be found, he wouldn't be. If he did though…
"The orchard?" Evan asked. Without a word, Zoe put the car in reverse and backed out, pressing the remote to close the garage doors. They drove in silence, each preoccupied with what was happening, what they might find.
His car was in the orchard parking lot, but he wasn't inside it. Evan walked ahead into the trees, dodging the mushy rotten apples on the ground, long overripe. He kept his eyes up as he walked, somehow knowing where he would find the boy. Zoe followed, scanning around them. Neither called out, searching only with their eyes.
Evan saw him first. He was sitting in a tree, about fifteen feet off the ground, leaning against the trunk with his legs crossed. His eyes were closed, and he was smiling peacefully, looking quite pleased with himself.
"Connor!" Zoe called out, anger and worry all at once. He didn't seem to notice.
Evan didn't think before grabbing the lowest branch and pulling himself up. He hadn't climbed since the day he broke his arm the past summer and he had a panic attack just watching Connor climbing a tree two weeks ago. Now here he was, chasing after the boy, apparently intent on confronting his worst fears. Connor had a way of doing that to him.
"Hey Con, how you doing?" Evan asked once he was on the branch below Connor. The boy lazily opened his eyes and looked down at Evan, a wide smile forming. His pupils were so widely dilated, they looked completely black.
"Evan. Beautiful Evan. Total Jew-fro Evan. Hi." He waved as he spoke, twirling his fingers lazily.
"Is he ok?" Zoe asked from below, craning her neck to look up at the two boys.
"Yeah he's fine. High as a kite but healthy," Evan responded.
"That wasn't very nice," Connor reached out to try and shush Evan, but missed, teetering slightly in his seat. "You shouldn't accuse friends of bad, bad things. Especially not good friends. We're good friends Ev, you and I."
"You're right Connor. If you really think we're good friends, maybe you'll help me out by coming down? We can sit on this branch together," Evan suggested, gesturing to the one he was standing on.
Connor reached out with his hand and Evan took it, thinking it was to help the boy down. Instead, Connor turned to face Evan and began leaning backwards, tipping away over the branch and using Evan's hand to keep himself balanced. Evan could feel his grip slipping as Connor tipped; if he let go, the boy would topple over backwards and fall head-first, fifteen feet to the ground.
"Evan," Zoe asked with alarm. "What's happening?"
"I'm coming sissy, don't you fret!" Connor responded, slurring his words together.
"Evan, he's going to fall!" Zoe yelled, panic taking hold.
"When you're falling in a forest," Connor sighed, lifting his free arm dramatically over his head.
"Connor, I need you to not let go of my hand right now, ok?" Evan tried to tighten his grip, but he couldn't; if he let go any of the tension the boy would fall. Instead, Evan let go of the trunk with his other hand and reached out to grip the branch Connor was sitting on, bracing himself uncomfortably against it. It was too far of a distance to be secure, but better than just balancing on the branch he was on. Connor was fully lying down at this point, his back bent in a perfect semi-circle around the branch.
"Evan, can you stop him?" Zoe pleaded from below.
"I'm trying," Evan grunted back, his shoulder straining in the socket with Connor's weight.
"Ok because his butt is slipping over the branch away from you," Zoe called back. Her fear and anger had turned to cold rationality in the face of the emergency. Evan let that flow through him, taking over his mind. Better than the anxiety.
"Ok, here's what's going to happen," Evan called out, his voice quavering as Connor's hand slipped a little more. "I'm going to give in and let him fall, but it's going to be controlled. I'll let him pull me until I'm balanced on the branch he's sitting on now. Then I'll let him go. That's only about ten feet or so, and it's the best I can do, plus he'll be going feet first. Sound good?"
"Are you sure? Can you not pull him back?"
"His hand is already slipping from mine, there's no way I could pull. Are you ready?"
"Yeah," Zoe responded, moving slightly away so she wouldn't get landed on.
"Ok, here goes," Evan grunted. He let go with the arm he was bracing against the branch with. He had forgotten to account for the fact that Connor's weight was already entirely on the other side of the branch, and instead of moving slowly to balance against it like he had anticipated, Evan was yanked into the air by Connor's countered weight. His stomach slammed into the branch and all the air burst from his lungs with an oomf!
Connor slid away from him head first, but Evan's grip swung him around. The moment that Evan was going to release him and let him fall, however, Connor decided to hold on, reaching with his other hand to grab Evan's bad wrist and gripping tightly. Evan's plan hadn't accounted for this. Connor's other hand slipped just as he grabbed Evan's wrist, and now he clung to Evan's arm, not letting go as Evan yelped in pain.
Connor's weight swung Evan completely over the branch and onto the other side, following Connor's descent, scrabbling to grab the branch with his loose hand. For a moment, it seemed like he would catch them and stop the momentum. Then he felt the bark burn as his palm slid across it.
Evan faintly heard Zoe scream as he fell, unable to hold both his and Connor's weight. The moment in the air was icy clear, seeming to last forever yet over in a flash. Connor landed first, Evan on top of him.
"Are you ok?" Zoe was there suddenly next to them, lifting Evan's chin to look at her. He groaned, stars passing in front of his eyes, a faint buzz in his ears.
"I'm sorry," he mumbled. It seemed to require all the air he had in his lungs.
"No apologies!" Zoe said a bit too harshly, nerves driving her voice to shrillness. "But for real Evan, are you ok?"
"My shoulders. And my stomach. And my butt. My wrist too." he held it out in front of him, flexing his hand and marveling that it hadn't rebroken.
"At least your landing was cushioned," Zoe muttered, holding out her hand to help Evan up. He took it, but swung around to sit next to her, staying curled up around his stomach. Connor lay there, still smiling as though blissfully unaware of what had happened.
"I love you both so much," Connor mumbled, beaming up at Zoe. She couldn't help but roll her eyes, relief undermining the anger she felt at him. "No Zo, I really do. And Ev. I love you," he reached out and patted the top of Evan's shoe like he was petting a dog.
"Let's get you home," Zoe muttered, yanking him to his feet. He stumbled a bit and staggered over to the tree he had just fallen out of, holding onto the trunk for support.
"I love this tree too. Evan knows it. He knows the tree love. Tree love is true love," and with that he kissed the bark, lovingly. Zoe ignored him for a moment, reaching out to Evan. He held a hand out and she helped pull him to his feet, but he bent over, clutching at his stomach again.
"Evan, are you ok?" Zoe tried to lift his shirt and he held it down, taking deep breaths.
"I think it's just bruised. Gimme a sec," he kept breathing deeply, trying to right himself. After a minute or so, he managed to stand all the way up, gingerly. "Ok. Let's go. Can you help him walk?" he looked dubiously at Connor, who had his arms around the tree now, just holding it, beaming lovingly.
Zoe walked over to him and grabbed his elbow roughly, pulling him away from the tree. He started crying—real tears—as they walked.
"You don't understand love Zoe. You don't understand how it works."
"You're right Connor. I guess maybe I never will," she responded patiently as they walked. Evan followed behind, slowly.
"Evan knows. He knows true love, right Ev?" Connor's tears ceased instantly as he tried to stall and wait for the boy, but Zoe pulled him forward. "Ev?" Connor stopped abruptly and turned around. Evan was bent over again, hands on his knees.
"I'm fine, keep going," he waved Zoe on as she tried to turn back for him. The car was only thirty feet off or so at this point, so she grabbed Connor once more and walked him over, getting him packed into the back seat before returning to Evan. With her help, he stood in a hunched manner and hobbled back to the car.
"I wonder how Connor doesn't have any injuries, since you landed on him," Zoe pondered, trying to keep the tone light. She knew once the pain cleared a bit, Evan's anxiety would come rearing.
"He's probably too high to feel it," Evan replied under his breath as she opened the passenger door for him. He folded in, still holding his stomach, while she went around to the driver's side.
Back at the house, he was able to walk more easily on his own. He went and opened the front door so Zoe could help Connor in. At this point, the boy seemed more dazed than high, not necessarily comatose, but a little more out of it than before. Zoe helped him up the stairs while Evan followed behind, ready to catch him should he fall. They got his shoes off and put him into bed with all his clothes still on. He was snoring loudly before they had even closed the door.
Out in the hallway, Zoe got to her knees in front of Evan.
"Lemme see," she said, lifting his shirt. He let her this time, listening to her sharp intake of breath.
"Is it bad?" he asked, trying to crane his neck to see over the lifted shirt.
"It's not great," she replied, lowering the shirt and rising to face him. "You go lie down on my bed. And don't look at it. I'm going to get some ibuprofen and an ice pack."
He went into her room and laid down as she asked, but couldn't help himself from peeping at his stomach. There, right across his belly button, was a perfectly formed negative of the tree branch, marked in a fiery red across his stomach. He could see purple welts where knots had been in the bark, and a faint yellow shadow around the outside of it. He still felt slightly nauseous, and he could feel his stomach flip looking at how bad it was.
"You peeker!" Zoe laughed as she entered, making a very deliberate effort to keep it humorous. She handed him three white pills and a glass of water. He took them quickly, all in one swallow. "Since you looked anyways, would you mind taking your shirt off? It would help with this," Zoe lifted the ice pack in her other hand to show him.
He pulled his shirt off gingerly, without lifting his body from the bed, letting it slide along his back. She tenderly laid down a thin hand-towel on his stomach, then gently set the ice on top of it. He inhaled sharply at the sensation of cold meeting the painful soreness.
Zoe walked around the bed and got into it from the other side, scooching very carefully over next to Evan. She kissed his cheek once and laid her head on his chest, a safe distance away from the ice pack on his stomach. He lifted his arm around her and they lay there together. With her head on his chest, she could hear his heartbeat. As the minutes passed she listened to it slow down, felt his tense nerves relax next to her body. Suddenly, he chuckled.
"What's so funny?" she asked quietly.
"I was just thinking, if I had a nickel for every time you've rescued me from that orchard or tended to my wounds, I'd have a lot of nickels," Evan chuckled quietly again.
"You're not wrong. You are quite the injury prone boyfriend," Zoe nestled in next to him as she spoke.
"I just wish I could repay the favor. Your hurts are harder to tend to," Evan whispered. They both knew what he was talking about.
"You tend to them just fine," Zoe whispered into his ear.
They lay there like that for a while, both in thought. Evan didn't realize until he felt the first teardrop fall on his chest that Zoe was crying. He started rubbing circles on her back in the same way he always did, comforting her as the tears came. They quickly devolved into sobs, wracking her body as he held her. She wiped at her eyes and tried to stop, but he brought her hand away gently, laying it on his chest. He wiped his thumb gently across each cheek, drying her tears for her.
"I'm going to tell them," she whispered. He nodded.
"After homecoming," she whispered again. He smiled and kissed the top of her head. He felt her cheeks widen with a small smile as well. Of course, Zoe Murphy could find a reason to smile.