February 4th,
Dear Diary,
I strongly dislike the month of February. It is gloomy. Not in the beautiful way hat our burned out dungeon classroom was gloomy, that was a glorious tragedy that slept in the gloom. No, February is simply lonely, empty, no divine tragedy but endless gloom. I imagine hell is like a permanent February. Not cold enough for snow, but cold enough for bitter rain. Not warm enough for flowers, but warm enough to turn perfectly fine frozen ground into thick mud. It is my least favorite month.
Since the burning of our meeting room, we have tried a medley of alternatives. Firstly, we attempted to use the room of requirement, our original location once more, but were ONCE MORE interrupted but a few choice uninvited guests, the same lot, all of whom we succeeded in cursing after fleeing the room. We then attempted to hold the meetings outside, much to my own displeasure seeing as its still bloody freezing, but we were, again, found by our enemies.
Thus our only solution has been to wait until nearly 2am when the Slytherin common room is empty and hold our meetings in hushed tones in the dim light of the common room candles, our eyes constantly flickering towards the stairs lest someone descend onto our clan descent meeting.
With all the distruption the relocation process had caused the DEY was in quite the foul mood. Lucius especially, and the question circling in everyone's minds was: How? How did the traitors continue to discover our hiding place no matter where we gathered?
Treason, traitor, these were the words that floated through the air, silent, but as prevalent as the fire light glowing on each of our stone faces, waiting for the meeting to commence under Lucius's command. He sat behind a desk he had summoned. The rest of us had gathered chairs of poofs and made ourselves comfortable on the floor. And by the rest of us, I mean everyone besides myself, who as vie president, perched myself atop Lucius's summon desk. He regarded the group coldly as we awaited his commencement.
"It seems," Lucius began his eyes glittering with fury, "That we have a traitor in our midst. And it seems he is deserving of punishment. Welcome to judgment day, you have committed treason against the Death Eater Youth. Step up and claim your prize…or call it punishment, if you will…. And undoubtedly- you will."
"You know who the traitor is, old boy?" Roddy asked skeptically, glancing around the trusted faces in our make shift circle before Lucius and I.
"I have a theory almost beyond doubt," Lucius drawled haughtily, "Regulus Black! Stand and face those you betrayed?"
Reggie burst into laughter, "You think it was ME, mate?"
"Who else?" Lucius seethed, "We let you in, after you follow us, no less, and all of a sudden your BROTHER-"
"Whom I despise-" he cut in amused.
"and his nasty little friends start appearing everywhere we meet! If its not you, then who is? No one else makes sense. You're the newest member-"
"Its not Reggie," I snapped, glaring at Lucius, "He has a heart of-"
"A heart of silver and green, you imbecile," Reggie interrupted, standing fro the cushion had made himself comfrtoable on with Severus and Junior on either side of him both looking unconvinced by Lucius's reasoning.
"Then who, Reggie?" Lucius drawled coldly, "Who besides you?"
"Maybe its you, for all we bloody know," Reggie rolled his handsome dark eyes, "Maybe its Bella, because we know she just ADORES Fabian about as much as I ADORE my so-called brother Sirius. Perhaps it's a spy house elf, who also happens to be invisible! Or maybe they have a magic bloody compass with an arrow pointing towards 'Future death Eaters'-"
"THAT'S IT!" Severus jumped up, knocking hard into Dolohoc who was on his other side, who glared at him, rubbing his offended shoulder soothingly.
"They have a magic Death Eater compass?" Roddy said, holding back laughter, "Where exactly does one buy such an object?"
"Blood Traitor's R Us," Reggie scoffed, "All the latest technology on tracking and attacking pureblood Slytherins. Or there's always Flourish and Blood Traitors, with books on the subjects, and-"
"Oh shut up," Severus snapped, "They have a map… Some sort of sick weirdo Gryffindor map that Sirius, Lupin, Potter, and fatass Pettigrew manufactured. It tells the position and location of everyone in the castle. I can't believe I didn't think of it sooner, the little scumbags have been stalking us on their scummy map!"
"How do you know such a map exists, Severus?" Lucius narrowed his eyes in curiousity and suspicion.
"Because I've seen the bloody thing of course," Severus sighed heavily, "There is a tale I've never told…"
"Then tell it," Lucius sighed impatiently, tapping his wand on the desk in an irritating fashion.
"I was… following Lupin because he disappears so often, I mean he's ill that often? Yeah, my hippogriffs fat ass I thought. So I followed him and got attacked by the whomping willow, and Potter, to my immense disdain, saved me, because Sirius told me where to follow Loopy Lupin, as a joke of course, misleading me to my near death. Potter new my exact location because of the cursed map. My pride and I kept this little incident a secret since… well, two weeks ago."
"Your pride and yourself should speak up for often, Sev," Lucius sounded annoyed, "But at least now we have answers-"
Reggie coughed conspicuously, "False accusations usually warrant apologies."
"Sorry for suspecting the one person whom all the evidence pointed to, you cheeky brat." Lucius laughed dismissively, "Now I suppose this common room, after the rest of the school is fast asleep, is our only choice because they cannot infiltrate our house. It is inconvenient, yes, but impossible? Not nearly. I expect no one's loyalty to the meetings or they DEY to waver, in the real army of our Lord you will be expected to accomplish much higher tasks than losing a bit of shut eye. So I have your allegiance, my proud members?"
"Aye!" "Of course!" "Without question!" "Long live the DEY!" were shouted in response, along with my favorite sarcastic murmur from Reggie, "Of course King Lucius,".
"Excellent, than we can move forward," Lucius clapped his hands together delightedly, "Who has plans for the Valentine's day dance?"
"Well first of all," Roddy spoke first, his strong voice so commanding, as was his presence, "I'm spiking the punch with a potent variety of alcohol that has no taste, but a simply beautiful effect. It will put all the other students off their game, giving us an advantage and a very entertaining evening, if I do say so myself."
"What an intoxicating start," Lucius smirked, "Other plans, my legions?"
"I wanna punch Loopy Loony Lupin in his loser face," Crabbe smiled broadly, clenching his massive fists in an aggressive manner.
"No," Lucius laughed shortly, "Though I appreciate both your dedication and alliteration, no open violence. Humiliation strictly. Its more damaging to their false sense of pride, and less damaging to our reputations among the teachers should we get caught."
"A little punching never hurt anybody," Goyle drunted.
"Actually, yes it does hurt them, and physically might I add, thus it is an inadequate solution," Lucius sighed, Now, any legitimate ideas?"
"Steal and destroy that fucking map?" Severus suggested furiously, "if Potter and company are drunk and dizzied up in the Valentine's day haze, what the fuck will they notice if a little slip pf parchment goes missing from their robe's?"
"Now we're talking," Lucius grinned, "You and your team are on that, and try and embarrass them somehow once you retrieve it as well, do something like curse their hair blue when their not looking."
"I was going to tell moaning myrtle that Sirius Black had a crush on her and wanted to be her Valentine," Dolohov sneered.
"Good, good, and in the spirit of Valentine's day love," Lucius chuckled, "I approve."
"What about a swift kick-"
"No violence, Crabbe, for Merlin's sake, we've been through this," Lucius said through gritted teeth while the room snickered.
"Also for Sirius," Reggie spoke out boldly, "How about some fire whiskey chocolates with a potion in their deliciously tempting center?"
"And what will this potion contain, Regulus?"
"Call me Reggie, dammit," he laughed good naturedly, "And it shall contain Snape's veriserum, if he will be compliant, and thus we can ask him both embarrassing and useful questions and for once the truth will pour from that traitoring mouth."
"Beautiful," Lucius couldn't help but smile, "Simply beautiful. Sev?"
"Beautiful," Severus repeated, glowing, "Its war."
"And its on," Dolohov licked his thin lips hungrily.
"And to think. Lucius, you thought me a traitor," Reggie sneered.
"Didn't your mother ever teach you any manners?" Lucius asked, not aggressively but seriously.
"Take a good hard look, no scratch that, take a fucking GLANCE at Sirius and answer that for yourself." Reggie chortled.
"Well, that's a no then," Severus laughed along.
"She's always busy yelling about our supremacy and cuddling with our house elf," Reggie grinned, "The Black family, toujours pur, is above manners."
"Concurred!" I exclaimed, applauding Reggie.
"Bella is another fine example of that," Lucius sneered, " Now Bella you've been unusually quiet this evening. What does that stunningly evil mind have concocting for Fabian Prewett?"
"It's a surprise," I grinned, my mind racing with my plan, just wait until you see my plan, just wait until I write about it. I cannot detail it now, for I do not wish to record it until it is a success. Its like a wish, you don't tell a soul, not even a paper diary, if you want it to come true.
"I hate surprises," Lucius frowned slightly, "You also hate Fabian. As do I. Now trust me on this one. Its going to be the epitome of brilliant, I swear on Salazar."
"Fine, I'll be a fool and place my trust in you, you little psycho," Lucius said half playfully half irritable as he dismissed the meeting, and admist the crowd of yawns and stretches Roddy and I embraced and shared a longing kiss of good night, when we really wished it said good morning.
"What is your plan?" He asked, whispering slowly in my ear as the crowd of DEY members thinned.
"If I told you, my beloved," I whispered back, my lips so close to his ear, they briefly caressed it, "I'd have to kill you."
"I wouldn't put that past her," Severus joked as he walked by, earning a glare from my narrowed eyes as he departed.
"It must be good, I've never seen you this quiet." Roddy remarked as I released his hand, headed for my bed that awaited me with open blankets.
"Good?" I laughed, ascending the stairs, "It shall redefine brilliant, my darling."
And with that, the DEY was back in full swing.
And as for Valetine's day? With each approaching minute, I smile a little wider. Bring on the day of love so I can embrace my hatred.
Love,
Bella
February 9th,
Dear Diary,
Junior, Severus, Roddy, and I decided to watch the Slytherin quiddich practice seeing as it was the first day of this forsaken month where it was raining and/or freezing. So, together we trekked out into the mud of the late winter afternoon and cheered on Lucius and Reggie, both of whom were on the team, Lucius player chaser this year while Reggie took over as seeker. Adonis Flint, the object of Carla's latest affections was the keeper, while Crabbe and Goyle served as beaters. Severus's friends and fellow DEY members , Wilkes, and Mulciber were the other two chasers, and regarding our assembled team, I smiled. They were a vision of Slytherin and pureblood future, and they were so elegant as they streamed across the gray sky, littered with patches of blue.
It was such a lovely day until Gideon, Justin Wood, Frank, and Fabian appeared, climbing up the stairs, and having the uncalled for audacity to sit beside us, all of them holding their brooms, apparently waiting for their turn to discolor the quiddich pitch with their dirty blood.
"So how are you, future Death Eaters?" Fabian greeted in a voice of forced politeness, "It's a lovely day or a murder, isn't it?"
"If the target is your ugly face, then absolutely," I smiled back, my own voice a more believable imitation of a polite tone.
"Always so gracious," Frank laughed, "You're just such a delight."
"Can't say the same about a flilthy blood traitor," I spat, "Would you all mind MOVING? We're going to get dirt all over us from your proximity."
"I think we're just fine right here, Bella, sweetheart," Frank sneered, "Perhaps you and the scum you associate with should relocate?"
"Ever wonder what falling off the stands at this height would feel like, Longbottom?" Roddy asked conversationally, though there was a cold glint in his eyes.
"Not really," Longbottom shrugged.
"Why don't you enlighten us?" Fabian sneered and suddenly the bench we sat on and all below us disappeared, and the air was filled with screams.
It was Lucius who grabbed Severus, swinging into a violent dive, and Goyle who was likewise nearby that managed to grab Roddy and Junior by their robes before they made contact with the ground.
But to my surprise, and ultimate disgust, it was Longbottom who caught me.
I remember the sound of the screams for help, the weakness escaping our proud lips as we feel through swift cold air that rushed violently in our ears, and I rememeber feeling as though my stomach jumped out of my body, and my heart exploded, and I remember my neck wincing in pain as I exellerated downward and I remember closing my eyes as the dreaded ground grew ever closer, and suddenly, so suddenly I was safe.
And I open my eyes to see my savoir and before me stood Frank Longbottom looking thoroughly aggravated, and heard his voice shouting at Fabian about being expelled for almost seriously injuring the insane Death Eater girl, and I blinked and gasped before fully grasping the lunacy of the situation.
They were talking about me, as Fabian screamed he wouldn't have been expelled and would have surely been awarded a medal for supreme school service were I to be injured or killed by my wall, and I realized, with the same shocking feeling as when my stomach jumped from my body, that I was so filled with hatred.
"YOU!" I shouted toward Fabian, still shaking in Frank's arms as my Slytherin comrades slid unsteadily to their feet, "HOW DARE YOU! THAT'S ATTEMPTED MURDER, I'M GOING STRAIGHT TO SLUGHORN-"
"Running to the teachers?" Fabian laughed harshly from above, standing to address me from as high as he possibly could, as though being physically above me could somehow grant him any definition of an upper hand.
"I FELL FROM THE TOP OF THE BLOODY STANDS!" I screamed, frank tighting his grip on me almost comfortingly as everyone else stood, too shocked to say or do much of anything expect inhale and exhale rather frantically, "I COULD HAVE DIED!"
"IF ONLY!" was his harsh reply.
"Why'd you save her, Frank?" Fabian turned to his friend, who I pushed myself away from, stumbling into Roddy's arms, which held me up, for my legs were too shaky to adequately hold my body, vibrating with uncontrollable fury.
"FOR YOU, ASSHOLE!" Frank called out, "YOU WANT TO BE SUSPENDED? EXPELLED? HAVE A BAD REP? GO TO FUCKING AZKABAN FOR MURDER?"
"ITS ONLY MURDER IF IT'S A PERSON!" Fabian spat.
"YOU SOUND LIKE BELLATRIX HERSELF!" Frank screamed, "GET A HOLE OF YOURSELF, SHE'S A BITCH, BUT SHE'S HUMAN, FOR GODRIC'S SAKE! GET A BLOODY GRIP OR JOIN THE DEATH EATERS! BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT THEY DO- THEY DEHUMANIZE AND MURDER! YOU WANT TO BE A BLOODY DEATH EATER? BREAK BREAD WITH MALFOY AND LESTRANGE? CHAT UP THE MORNING MURDERS WITH SEVERUS EVERY MORNING?"
"that's not.." Fabians voice was lost, as was his conviction.
"I know," Frank sighed, and jumped back on his broom. Then paused before flying away. He stared at me from where I stood half paralyzed in Roddy's soothing arms, "Um, you're welcome?"
"You didn't do it for me," I spat furiously, "I'm not saying thank you for a favor you paid to your psycho bitch of a friend up there in the stands. You can take your fake valiance and shove it up your arse, Longbottom."
"Were you never hugged as a child or something?" Longbottom snickered, still motionless on his broom, "What made you such a… complete and total pureblood Slytherin princess BITCH?"
"The truth made me who I am," I snapped, "The necessity for this war made me who I am! People like you and the Prewetts and Sirius make me who I am!"
"I'd really prefer not to be held accountable for your insanity, you fucking cunt," Longbottom laughed harshly.
"Then don't be such a complete and totally repulsive disgrace to the wizarding world," I smiled sweetly and leaned forward, slapping him hard in the face, and whipping out my wand, and with a flick the worlds "Muggle Fucker" wrote themselves upon his forehead in large purple pimples.
The Slytherins exploded in laughter as he glanced at his reflection from his prefect badge, looking irate.
"That's the thanks you get for saving her worthless arse!" Gideon called down, his arm around his furious brother.
"There's nothing worthless about her body!" Fabian snickered, leering down to me, "Its her mind/soul/heart we have issues with."
"Is that for burning down you wee meeting room?" Frank asked, touching his afflicted forehead gingerly, frowning deeply, "Or for saving your fucking life, whore?"
"Its for being a blood traitor," I laughed, "You'll get what's coming to you for your pyromania all in good time, slime ball."
"And for this?" Frank pointed to his forehead, "I give you this-"
He raised his wand but not before Roddy and I both put up sheidl charms, sending the curse back to him and belched slugs. Laughing we turned our backs to our wounded Gryffindor, but somehow, amidst the slugs he shot one more curse. It hit me square in the back and suddenly I was covered in mud that had dug itself up from the soft ground below me.
"You say we're dirty?" Frank sneered, wiping slugs from his chin, "Doesn't look that way to me"
"You-" I screamed but Roddy and Junior were pulling me back, Severus holding up his wand in warning.
"Walk away Bella, its just a little dirt," Junior coaxed softly.
"I've never walked away from anything in my life!" I informed him bitterly and shot my wand, saying the incantation in my head, flinging the mud from my own body onto Frank.
"Now that's more appropriate!" Roddy chuckled appreciatevly, wiping the remainders of the mud from my hair and cheek, kissing me sweetly.
"You don't stop do you?" Frank's eyes glittered dangerously as he cleaned himself with his own wand.
"What do I look like?" I sneered, "A Hufflepuff?"
"You look like a stuck up slut," Fabian called from above, unhelpfully.
"That sounds about right," Frank agreed, hiccoping fresh slugs down his front, and waving his wand one last time, and suddenly the world went back.
The bastard stunned me. In retaliation I was later told as I awoke on a couch in the Slytherin common room to Roddy, Lucius, Sev, Dolohov, Cissy, and Reggie, Roddy has stunned him as well and he nearly choked to death on slugs.
"He'll get what's coming to him," Roddy whispered soothingly, stroking my hair.
"No one stuns me," I hissed, gripping the edges of the couch in fury.
"Then get him back," Reggie grinned mischievously over me.
"My thoughts exactly," I nodded, "I'll be back,"
And though I remained woozy, I jumped from the couch, ignoring the protests and allowing only Roddy and Reggie to accompany me to the exit, I explained, "I have to do it on my own, or its not my revenge and I've lost again."
Reluctantly they let me exit, on shaky legs I raced towards the Slytherin portrait where Mary MacDonald, a friend of the Evans Mud Blood was entering.
"You!"I called to her, racing towards the fat lady and all she promised to hold inside, "If Frank Longbottom is in there, will you tell him to come out briefly for a word?"
"You're that crazy Bellatrix Black girl, a Slytherin," She wrinkled her round nose in distaste and I rolled my eyes impatiently, "They say it's a bad idea to get on your bad side."
"Then just get Frank for me, Gryffindor," I sighed irritably, "I won't forget it."
"Tell Avery and Mulciber to stay the hell away from me," She bargained swiftly.
"Fine, as long as Frank comes out, and comes out ALONE, you can consider it done." I urged her forward as she whispered the password and disappeared without another word.
Frank climbed out a moment later, the words still written in pimples across his forehead and a sour expression on his reasonably attractive face, his baby fat still lingering on his half way defined cheek bones and his large blue eyes narrowed in hatred.
"What the fuck do you want, Bellatrix?" He demanded, crossing his arms across his chest.
"Justice, dear sir," I grinned.
"And what does that consist of?" He tapped his foot in an impatient manner.
I moved very quickly, silencing him first, and then with a breathless whisper my the incantation, "Crucio" escaped my lips for the first time, and he crumbled to the stone floor, and if he could, I was sure he'd have been screaming. I stopped after a moment, a smile deepening on my face as I regarded him curled up in pain, "Thanks for saving my life, blood traitor,"
I turned to leave, forgetting I had already made this mistake once, and as soon as I turned my back, he must have lifted his weak and shaking arm and managed to silently curse me, for I was hit, abruptly with the body bind curse again.
He walked slowly and shakily over to me, and waved his wand in the air so the words appeared to replace his lost speech
"You should have let it go when you had the chance"
The letters were a lovely cursive, bright red with a gold outline and suddenly, his weak body grabbed my paralyzed one and dragged me over his shaky shoulder. He carried me inside the Gryffindor common room which reacted in screams of both fear and excitement.
Fabian and Gideon raced over as he threw me on a couch.
"She crucio'd me," Frank said once Fabian gave him his voice back.
"What should we do?" Gideon asked, regarding me with the utmost contempt.
"Throw her out the bloody window," Fabian suggested brutally, "Let her die, that's unforgivable mate."
"Tell McGonagall," Justin urged, joining the group, as I mentally cursed them all wishing I could reach my wand in my robes pocket, wishing I could move at all.
"So she can tell Slughorn I almost killed her?" Fabian reminded him in a whisper as the entire common room seemed to be listening in.
"Fair point," Gideon nodded, "So, now what?"
"We're keeping her as bait," Fabian said suddenly, "OWL Roddy and Lucius, tell them to come get her and we'll ambush them!"
"Its not them I'm after," Frank scowled down, "Its her."
"So, almightily Longbottom," Justin teased, "What are you going to do?"
He waved his wand without a word and suddenly the words "Death Eater Whore " wrote themselves in his elegant red and gold cursive across my upper chest where my cleavage met my neckline, The words burned my skin. I would have yelped unwilling if I had the capability.
He then leaned forward and tore my robe down exposing a bit of cleavage so the words were entirely visible, he then whispered something to Lupin who returned, looking confused until he saw my chest and then frowned, but still, he handed Longbottom his camera, and I glared haughtily, summoning as much pride into my eyes as I could as the flash went off and the Gryffindors roared with laughed.
It was then that Frank threw me up on his shoulder again, the Gryffindor common room putting the picture up proudly displayed on their bulletin board, the words clearly visible and my breasts looking huge, and to their applauding he carried me out of the portrait hole, Gideon and Fabian following close behind snickers on both their cold faces.
"Learn something today?" Frank asked, and though I was paralyzed he could tell me the look in my eyes I had learned only how much I truly hated his guts. His blood traitor guts.
"Well, you will," And with that, he continued to carry me until he reached the Great Hall, it was empty because It was shortly before dinner. He hoisted me onto the Slytherin table without care, proably bruising me as my body made hard contact with the wooden surface.
"Now its not a secret." He snickered.
Frank and Gideon turned to talk away, but Fabian hung back and as though he couldn't help himself he smacked me hard across the face before leaving.
"You already almost killed her, that's enough violence against woman for the day, Fab!" Frank laughed and that was the last thing I heard before th chattering of nearby voices and echoing of footsteps as the student body entered the Great Hall for the evening's dinner. It was Rosier who found me first, accompanied by Wilkes, Mulciber, and the Carrows. He reversed the body bind, choking on his laughter and I crossed my arms as best I could over the words on my chest. It was Roddy who appeared next, gave me his cloak to conceal my punishment and assured me swift and acute vengeance, alongside Lucius, Severus, and Dolohov.
I am waiting for Severus to find the antidote for the words cruelly scrawled across my chest.
It was a dreadful day.
And as I lay in my bed, knowing I had a wonderful fiancé, a glorious amount of power for such a young girl, a wonderful little sister, a lovely group of friends, and the blessing of the Dark Lord, I felt so very small, so very weak.
And I cried, tears of fury and helplessness into my pillow. Silent tears, the kind that burn and choke, the kind only you know of, the secret sort of despair that lingers, the suffocating type of tears that hurt as much to cry as they do to hold back. But I let myself cry.
For soon I will let myself avenge my name, glory, and power.
For soon I will not be the one to shed a tear for defeat.
No, it will not be I.
Frank Longbottom has signed on for some sort of retribution even I cannot yet fathom. But believe me, he will beg me one day, beg for mercy, for forgiveness, and I will at him the way he looked at me: with contempt, pity and disgust. And I will do to him what he did to me. I will take his pride and shred it. I will take his identity and write over it.
I will take my magic and destroy him.
I hope his forehead still bears my inscription and I hope when he falls asleep he sees my face, and knows he has drastically shortened his life span, and condemned himself to my wrath.
Judgment day will be glorious
And these tears, all these burning tears, he will pay for every single one of them.
I must sleep
And pray Severus can cure me pf these words, for I don't have that many high collared sweaters and cloaks.
I usually feel love, that is my usual medium of fuel.
Well, today it is all about hate. The visiouc kind, the burning choking kind, very much like my tears.
And hate, well, I almost had forgotten its sheer undiluted power.
I do not accept defeat kindly.
In fact, I will not accept it at all.
Just wait. Oh, just wait.
Love,
Bella
AUTHOR'S NOTES:
Hope you enjoyed it, please please review, it's the best cure for writer's block
Anyway, I has big plans for v-day =]
Let me know what you thinkkkk
And read my new story "Petal" if you have the chance. But more importantly, enjoy Bella!! I really love your reviews, I appreciate them so muchhh!
Love
Your devoted author