I want to thank all my lovelies out there who reviewed the last chapter: zare. downey. okumura, The Queen of Song, Emilie-Kait, Zelda Zonkk, Patlamouche, and xXShatteredTemptationXx! It was a nice holiday present from you all!

And here me friends, is the next chapter. :)

Chapter 25: Stuck in the Middle

The crew eagerly searched through the many chests that they had brought aboard from the British ship heading to the Americas. Jack popped open the lid of one of them to reveal a flurry of lace, lightly colored fabrics, pastel dresses, and the faintest trace of perfume. He wrinkled his nose, picking up one of the garments by the sleeve. He eyed it for a moment in disappointment and then tossed it to Lauren. "I believe these clothes are more suited to your kind." He joked.

Lauren warily eyed the dress as it fell to the floor in a heap. "Not anymore," she said, turning her back and moving to a different trunk. Jack frowned, expecting a different, less morose response. He followed her to the next trunk. She struggled to lift the heavy lid and he helped her lift it open. Dust arose from deep inside and Jack waved it aside. Lauren coughed, covering her mouth and nose with her hand.

There wasn't much inside. An old rum bottle, half-empty, laying on its side, and a few scattered pieces of parchment were all that covered the bottom of the heavy trunk. Jack quickly picked up the rum bottle to examine it. He uncorked it, took a swig, and then a satisfied smile crossed his face.

Lauren however was more interested in the pieces of parchment at the bottom. She carefully picked one up. It was faded and damp, but she could clearly discern that they were letters, perhaps part of a diary. She began to read:

Dear father,

We are almost there! To think, all these weeks at sea, all this time apart from you mother and I have faced, it will soon be worth. I hope you are well. Some say that the Americas are often hard to settle into. I suppose that is all a part of the excitement, though.

Sarah developed a cough about a week ago. It doesn't seem serious, but the others are keeping a wide berth of her. I can tell she is lonely, but mother warns me not to spend too much time with her, else I will develop the cough, too. She will just have to wait for a doctor in America. There are plenty there, right?

We can hardly wait to see what you've accomplished so far. We miss you dearly.

All my love,

Catherine

Lauren held the letter so tight that her knuckles were white. She couldn't bear to read the others.

"Lauren?" Jack asked hesitantly, noticing the change in her demeanor. Her face was pale and her hands trembling. He gently went to her and took the paper from her hands. He glanced down at it, only to see a simple letter written from a daughter to her father.

Lauren placed a hand to her forehead and closed her eyes.

"Lauren?" Jack asked again.

She opened her eyes and Jack saw the deep sadness that resonated there. "What am I doing here?" She whispered.

"What do you mean?"

"What am I doing here?" She turned in a circle, her eyes wide and her arms held out.

Jack gently took her arm to steady her and she flinched at his touch. "Lauren, you don't look well. Let's sit you down."

She allowed Jack to lead her to his cabin. She slowly sat on his bed and Jack pulled up a chair across from her. "What's goin' on?"

Lauren looked down at her hands, which idly plucked at a stray string. "All this time, I've thought I've been so selfless, thinking that giving up my life for Gerard would somehow avenge his death; that getting back at the government would solve all of my problems. This entire time I haven't been selfless, I've been so selfish." She stopped, as did her hands. "I couldn't stay in that town, but I didn't have to run from my problems. I only created more problems."

Jack was silent as he listened.

"And my father. I haven't once thought about him or how this might affect him. I… I don't even know what I'm doing here! I can't fight! I can't kill! I don't know that I want to do any of these things! I'm risking my life every day for something I don't really believe in!" She was standing now, her hand running through her hair. She had forgotten that Jack was even there. "I can't be a pirate! I don't know the first thing about being one and yet here I am, hurting everyone I know and love because I couldn't face my own problems!"

She fell back onto the bed, her eyes misty. "What do I do?" She whispered to her hands.

"Ye move on." Jack said.

Lauren raised her eyes to meet his.

"Ye move on from Gerard, for starters. He's dead, whether or not he was a great man or a scallywag. You move on from your past. Ye can't live there, which is what ye've been doing. Ye ran away from your problems, I know. But ye can't take it back. Ye move on from your mistakes and ye don't make them again."

"This isn't my life, Jack." She whispered. "I could never be a pirate."

"You've convinced all of the crew today." He responded. "An' ye've almost convinced me. Ye beat that scallywag out there in the process of stealin' all his jewels. Sounds like a pirate to me."

"Sure, I can act, but I can't truly be."

Jack gave a derisive snort at her reply and a flash of annoyance crossed his face. "Do you really know who you are? Or since no one is telling you what to do, you're unsure about everything?"

"Excuse me?" Lauren retorted.

"What makes you happy? Are ye happy here? Or are ye just scared because your whole life isn't planned out?" Jack stood, pushing his chair back to his desk.

"What gives you the right to make these false accusations? To act like you know everything about me?" She asked angrily.

"Ye asked for me help." Jack snapped.

"I've never asked for your help." She spat.

"You may have never asked but you sure as hell need it!"

"Oh my—"

"No," Jack interrupted, "you can't say that you have never needed my help. What about when you joined me ship? I didn't need you but you needed me. Or when I found out ye were a woman? Did ye need my help then? My mercy and forgiveness? Or what about when Gunner tried to rape you? Ye didn't ask for help but ye needed it. Or the other night when you had nightmares of Gerard. You came to me. Who's giving you sword fighting lessons?"

The silence after his words was thick, almost palpable. Lauren's face was hard, but she didn't look away.

But Jack didn't stop. "Who's feeding you? Clothing you? Protecting you? Being your friend?"

"Friends don't act like asses." She snapped.

"They also don't pretend everything is okay when it's not."

"Okay, fine! I need your help! I need you! Is that what you want to hear?"

"I want ye to stop living in the past and bein' a girl about everythin'." He said harshly, turning away from her. "You're not the only one with a past."

"I'm trying to do something right now but you won't listen!" A short breath. "Isn't it obvious enough that I need you?" She bit her lip, her cheeks turning pink.

"I've already told ye what I think." He said, not looking quite at her.

"No, you've told Miss Stratford what to do. I'm not her anymore."

"Then who are you?" He asked.

"I don't know anymore. I don't know anything!" She angrily turned away from him. "Maybe you're right. Maybe I'm too used to being told what to do, how to dress and act. I just…" She trailed off, shaking her head.

"I'm listening," Jack said quietly from across the room. His arms were folded and he was leaning against the door, but his intense gaze was focused directly on her.

"Nothing feels right. I feel like I'm stuck in two worlds. That letter… it just brought everything back to me. My father… I miss him. I can't image the pain I've caused him."

"He also caused you a lot of pain, too." Jack said.

"But that doesn't justify what I've done in return."

"No, but it makes your actions much more understandable."

"I don't belong here, I don't belong back home." She lifted her head and met Jack's eyes. "Where do I belong, Jack?"

He slowly made his way back towards her, their eyes never breaking. He took her hand in his. "I think you're givin' up too quickly. This is a radically different lifestyle than the one you've lived before. You're still adjustin' – quite well might I add."

This produced a small smile.

"Give it some more time, love."

They were silent for a few moments as she took in his words.

"And if you decide you don't want to be here, don't want to be a part of this lifestyle, then I can take ye back." He added.

"Really?" Lauren asked.

Jack nodded. "Of course."

"Thank you, Jack."

He grinned and couldn't help but add, "I'm only saving me own back. Ladies aboard a ship are bad luck and a bloody nuisance."

Women. Pfft. ;)

I am so excited to share the next two chapters with you. Some crazy stuff is going to happen! :D If you liked this story and this chapter, make sure to leave a review down below. If you didn't like it, leave me a review all the same. I like constructive criticism so I can improve. Wanna guess at what happens, tell me below! I love to hear your predictions as well.

As always, reviews make my day. :)

-Becca