You've waited long enough. A/N at the bottom.

Bella.

I'm in love with you. I thought to myself as I wound through the trees, Edward right beside me.

I'm in love with you. It was only five words, stuck in my mouth and it felt like they were never going to come out. Maybe he felt the same way. He did kiss me in the hall but I was crazy with blood lust at the time.

He was doing it for himself and the family, to avoid exposure. There was no other option.

Edward didn't want me forever. He didn't want me to be a vampire.

"Wait," he said, startling me out of my reverie by placing a light hand on my wrist. "Do you hear that?"

I stopped thinking about his light touch and let my other senses take over. There was a series of heartbeats in a meadow not far away. "Deer?" I asked, trying to identify them by the steady even sound.

He smiled wickedly, exposing the better part of his teeth. "Yes," he said, seemingly unsurprised that I had gotten it right. I could practically see the herd in my minds eye, grazing in the small open space; a stream bubbling close by. "About twenty of them, only one buck."

I nodded my head and stared hungrily in the direction I would be headed. My eyes narrowed on the most direct path and my vision seemed to tunnel. I could see my objective and everything between us, all at the same time.

Edward squeezed my hand to reassure me. I had almost forgotten he was there. "You're instincts are going to take over, are you ready for this?"

I laughed a scary uncharacteristic laugh. The noise didn't sound like mine but it was. Clearing my throat of the awful taste it left in my mouth, I playfully replied, "Race you for the buck." I took off, not bothering to wait for an answer. I felt Edward's eyes on me while I dashed towards my first meal… as a vampire.

Edward.

She was beautiful. She was a goddess.

I watched as she dashed away from me toward the herd of deer in a meadow not far away. I'm not sure how she knew what they were. I only knew what they were having heard their sound many times before. It was unusual for her to be so sure in her answer. Amazing.

It was amazing how comfortable she was with… everything.

I followed in her wake, allowing instinct to mostly take over but never would I allow myself to be completely animal in Bella's presence. There's no telling what could happen.

Though what if she did feel for me the way Emmett had thought.

Impossible.

Even if she had feelings for me before, things were… different now. There is no way she could possibly feel the same after I failed her so completely.

We broke into the meadow silently; Bella only a few paces ahead of me. She honed in on her prey and attacked with grace and precision. I watched her with a morbid fascination as the remaining doe stampeded and panicked in erratic leaps and bounds around me.

I ignored them.

She grasped onto the neck of the large buck and snapped it. I could sense her feral hunger in the air around me. The first feed was the best and the worst of our existence. She gulped the blood fast and greedily, kneeling down with the weight of her kill. Then she stilled.

"Bella?" I whispered across the clearing. She didn't move or turn to the sound of my voice.

"Bella." I called a little louder.

With her back still turned to me she lifted her hand to her mouth and pulled it across. Her shoulder started to shake and I could hear her quiet sobs. I moved as quickly and swiftly as my feet would allow, to be next to her but she was too fast for me.

"Don't touch me," she hissed.

"Bella, that was… remarkable."

"It didn't feel remarkable," she sighed and started to walk away from me.

"Wait—" I tried to stop her. "Don't go just…stay. We need to talk."

She continued to walk away from me and turned when she reached the tree line. When she met my eyes, my heart broke at what I could see in the deep red pools. Pain, sorrow… longing. "I can't stay here."

I jogged to her side, unable to resist touching her any longer. I brushed my hand against hers lightly, her lips hinted at a smile before she grasped my hand in hers. She threw one last look at the dead beast and then turned away, thankfully taking me with her.

Bella.

That was wrong. I can't believe the sick pleasure I got from a living creature dying by my hand.

This can't have been how Edward and the rest of my family felt when they took a life. It just can't. "Edward?"

"Yes?" he asked, sounding relieved that I broke the silence first.

"I think something went wrong. There's something wrong with me." Edward stopped me and forced me to meet his eye. His finger rested under my chin and he wouldn't allow me to turn away.

"Don't ever say or think that something's wrong with you," he ordered sternly. "You are perfect and I won't allow you to think otherwise."

If I had been human I would surely be blushing from his words. Not just what he was saying but the passion with which he said his words.

"But there was something about killing that animal that… it just didn't feel right."

"There's nothing right about taking a life, Bella. I would be worried if you didn't feel something?" I tried to look away from him but he kept my chin in his stony grasp. "It's the natural order of things. You need them to survive and they will survive in turn. You're not going to enjoy doing it." But I did... enjoy it.

He moved his hand up and stroked my cheek. "You're… you're perfect in everyway."

"Do you mean that?" I asked, startled by his sincerity. I had become so attuned to him over the years, yet I had never before seen his eyes smoulder as they did then. If my heart still beat, it would have beat harder for him. His hand lingered on my cheek and I leaned my face into it. I smiled as he cradled my head with his palm.

We both stayed silent, staring at each other. He appeared to be having an internal battle with himself.

"Edward…?" I felt myself moving closer to him. I wrapped my fingers around the hand on my cheek. His look was at first, one of surprise and then of question. He placed one hand hesitantly on my side and pulled me close enough to him that our chests were rising and falling next to each other.

My free hand grabbed harshly at his shoulder and before I knew what I was doing I had my mouth against his. He was taken aback at first but then held me against him, one hand behind my back and the other on my neck.

Edward was kissing me back.

His sweet scent filled my head; leaving a pleasant tingle everywhere it reached. His addicting taste filled my mouth as our tongues tangled for dominance. I felt myself moving through the air and my back crash into a foreign obstacle, pinning me between him and it. His sinful lips never left mine for an instant.

I no longer needed to support my weight on his shoulder and ran both hands through his hair; unable to pull his face close enough to mine. His hands followed up and down the length of my body, kneading my sides as he went.

After his aggressive massaging, he pinned my head with both his forearms on either side, all my hair gathered in his fists.

A growl sounded in his chest and resonated in mine.

"Bella," he growled into my open mouth. I whimpered at the rumbling sensation of his voice. "My Bella."

Edward.

She kissed me. She was kissing ME. I may have pinned her against the tree and moved my hands as gentlemanly as I could (showing much restraint) over her body but she was kissing me.

Bella's head of hair felt magnificent in my hands as I had her head pinned between my arms. Her hair fell in a messy halo between my finger, around her cheeks and down her neck.

My Bella. The words felt so familiar, so right, I couldn't help but growl them possessively in her mouth. She let out a small gasp and I took the opportunity to bite down on her bottom lip. She hissed with pleasure and her eyes rolled back in her head.

Both our breathing was heavy and erratic. I rested my face in the crook of her neck, leaving her pinned against the tree. I closed my eye as I tried to accustom myself to her new scent.

As head fell back I started moving my lips against her neck. Her breathing didn't even out so I sucked harder, earning myself another gasp.

I chuckled against the sensitive skin and watched her eyes snap open. She seemed to only just realize where she was and what she was doing.

After unwrapping her legs from around my waist, I set her down gently. I felt bad for not having been more gentle with her during… our exchange.

Bella raised a hand to her mouth and then giggled. Her laugh held the same familiar tinkling it always did. I wished desperately that a blush would colour her cheeks above her fingers but it never came.

"I have something I should probably tell you," I laughed right along with her; exhilarated with the memory of every touch we had just shared.

"Me too," she sighed, leaning up against the tree. I hadn't released her waist yet and wasn't going to, so she pulled me along with her. I steadied myself against the tree with my other hand; hovering over her glowing form. "But you go first."

Her right hand rested gently on the arm that was attached to her hip. It made me lighter just thinking about her needing to touch me as mush as I did her.

"Okay," I sighed, her hair moving under my heavy breath and her eyes watching me hungrily. They already started to turn amber in the corners. I couldn't wait for the day when I wouldn't be able to find a trace of the red in them.

"Well, there's this girl…"

"A girl?" she asked, smiling coyly.

"More like a goddess actually. I've know her, her entire life and it feels like my entire life too. I've loved her always…" My hand moved of its own accord to her beautiful face. "And it's come to my attention that somewhere along the line I fell desperately in love with her… with you."

Her body arched away from the tree, into mine. "Well, I should probably tell you…"

"Yes?" I said, quirking my eyebrow. Her hand found its way to my face as she pulled closer.

"That there's this guy—"

"A guy?" I interrupted.

"Well… you. I've fallen madly…" her lips brushed mine like a whisper, "hopelessly…" a memory almost, "irrevocably in love with you."

There was no space in between our bodies as she moulded herself to me. Both of us were smiling at the other and in her eyes I could see it. The love I felt for her reflecting back at me.

The only thing I said before our lips met again, "I know."

I'm really REALLY sorry. Sadly this story has wound down. I will post an epilogue (soon) but good news: there will be a sequel!!

Summary: Bella worries she's losing herself to an animal inside her she has no control over. It doesn't help that new and conflicting abilities, keep surfacing leaving her even more lost and confused. Can Edward help her find herself again… before it's too late?

What you think?

It won't happen for a little while because I have two stories on the go right now. If you haven't checked it out Must be Mistaken and I'm Your*s. Check them out.

Please review and tell me what you thought of the chapter!!