The first day back after the holidays was always slightly chaotic, Lex acknowledged as she weaved her way through the crowds of students. Thankfully, in true Waterloo Road form the gossip around Mr Tyler and the events of the previous term had dwindled down to almost nothing, and the most exciting thing being bandied about was whether or not Destiny Carmichael in year eleven was pregnant or not.

"Did you hear about that year eight?" Danielle leant forward over the desk, a look of glee on her face.

"What year eight?"

"Preggers." She leant back, examining her nails. Lex looked dubious.

"A year eight? She'd be, like, twelve."

"Yup." She popped the p, raising her eyebrows.

"I thought it was a year eleven?" Paul glanced backwards from the table in front of them, while Lex just rolled her eyes.

"Dani, where do you get this stuff from?"

A knock on the classroom door had the room looking around, everyone falling silent when they saw the deputy headteacher at the door. "Sorry- I need to borrow Lex for a minute," Eddie motioned for her to join him in the corridor, and Lex instantly felt her stomach drop.

"What's happened now?" she muttered, standing on shaking legs and carefully closing the door behind her.

"I don't want you to panic," Eddie began.

"Because that's reassuring."

"There was an incident earlier, where a girl was abducted from school by her father." He ignored her. "Your mum… well, she went after them by herself."

Lex's jaw dropped. "What?"

"I'm sure she's fine!" Eddie said hastily. "There's no indication that he would be violent. But I didn't want you to find out from another student."

Lex was silent. "Was there anything else?" she asked emotionlessly. Eddie frowned, but shook his head.

"No… no that was it."

"Okay." She turned and went back into the classroom, and Eddie stood there for a long moment.

"Uh oh…"

Lex ignored the curious glances and whispered questions, turning back to her textbook and pretending not to hear Danielle's hisses at her. The presence of the police, and then Mrs Vale, however, prompted gossip to spread like wildfire and it wasn't long before someone discovered Miss Mason's involvement.

"Did you hear? Bianca Vale's dad is holding her and Miss Mason hostage!" Denzil rushed up to Sambuca, eyes wide. At the next table, Lex stiffened and paled.

"Where did you hear that?" Sam asked.

"I overheard Miss Campbell talking!"

Lex stood abruptly, and rushed from the room. She ran to Eddie's classroom, only to find it empty. She spun on her heel, ignoring the sound of Emma calling her name as she went to her mother's office.

"Sometimes you call the police and let them get on with it!" she heard Mr Mead say.

"You honestly expect her to just walk away from a child?" Miss Campbell questioned incredulously.

"She's got responsibilities to the entire school, not just one kid!"

"You don't know Rachel at all, do you?" Eddie scoffed. "She'd never walk away from a child, no matter the cost."

Unable to listen anymore, Lex pushed open the door. "It's true then?" she looked at Eddie, who winced.

"How did you-?"

"You should watch what you discuss in the corridors," she said numbly. Mr Mead crossed the room to answer the ringing phone, looking up and cutting off anything else they might have said.

"They've found the caravan."

"Caravan?" Lex looked confused, and Eddie sighed.

"Sit down, Lex, I'll explain."

Mr Mead spluttered. "You can't!"

All three looked at him. "Why not?" Kim asked, obviously bemused.

"She's sixteen! And a student!"

"She's Rachel's daughter." Eddie said incredulously. "Don't you think she has a right to know?"

"STOP IT!" Lex yelled. She glared at them as they gawked at her. "Argue later! Eddie's my stepfather, not you Mr Mead, he can decide! Now someone tell me what's going on with my mum!"

Miss Campbell looked slightly stunned, but Eddie merely nodded, and sat down on the sofa, waiting for her to join him before he began. Lex listened silently, growing paler the longer he talked. Finally, he finished his tale, expecting her to ask a thousand questions but instead she simply nodded in acceptance. "What happens now?" she asked calmly.

"Now we wait." He pressed his lips together, exchanging a worried look with Kim. Mr Mead was leaning against the window, and they remained in silence.

Lex was lost within her own thoughts, had utterly lost track of time when the phone trilled again, snapping her into awareness. Miss Campbell was closest, and her voice gave nothing away as she spoke non-committedly into the handset, until eventually she hung up.

"It's over. Your mum's OK." She glanced back at Lex, smiling weakly. Eddie exhaled a loud of relief, running his hands over his face and gripping Lex's shoulder.

"What about Bianca?" Mr Mead asked. Kim nodded.

"Fine," she choked out. Eddie raised his head with a frown, but Christ didn't seem to notice.

"I'll go and let everyone know…"

"Her dad's dead," she blurted out. "He tried to kill them all."

Nobody knew what to say.

"How?" Lex croaked out.

Miss Campbell looked at her strangely. "He… he tried to blow them up. A gas explosion… Rachel and Bianca got out just in time…"

But Lex had already turned white, making a sort of strangled noise. "Eddie-!"

The man was already halfway across the room, grabbing the phone and quickly re-calling the previous number. "Yes, my name's Eddie Lawson- I'm deputy head at Waterloo Road. I need to know if Rachel Mason is still there?... Well, find out!"

Kim and Chris exchanged a baffled look. "What have we missed?" the former asked eventually.

Lex was biting her lip, watching Eddie anxiously. "Mum almost died in a fire the year we came to Waterloo Road. Being in another explosion…"

"Shit," Eddie was muttering. "Thanks anyway."

He put to phone down, rubbing the back of his neck. "She left a few minutes ago."

"She's driving?" Lex sounded dubious, and he shrugged.

"Apparently."

Lex wrapped her arms around herself for a moment. "I'm going back to class." She stood abruptly, moving towards the door.

"Lex!" Eddie called out, moving closer and lowering his tone to give them some privacy. "Are you alright?"

"Why wouldn't I be?" she yanked the door open and was gone before he could say anything else. Kim raised an eyebrow.

"What's wrong with her?"

"Long story." Eddie muttered.

Lex didn't go back to class, however. Instead, she wound her way around to the back of the school, stumbling through the door and almost falling against the wall, inhaling a shaky breath as she slid to the floor. For a few moments, her own ragged breathing was all she was aware of. She didn't hear the door opening again, but looked up when she felt a warm body sit next to her. Emma gave her a sympathetic smile, linking their fingers without a word as Lex shuddered, the back of her other hand pressed to her mouth as she buried her head in her friend's shoulder and began to silently weep.

Meanwhile, Eddie had finished up the paperwork for the day while keeping an eye on the clock; when enough time had passed, he left Kim and Chris to deal with the remaining staff and students while he went down to the car park, shooting a glare at a pair of year tens to chase them off while he waited. He'd timed it well- less than five minutes later he saw Rachel's car pull into the school. He watched her carefully while she parked, saw the paleness off her face, the way she held onto the door just a bit too long as she climbed out of the driver's seat, and the flicker in her eyes when she turned and finally clocked him waiting.

He said nothing, didn't move from his spot as she came closer. Still didn't say anything when she slowly came to a stop in front of him, looking hesitant. He merely reached out and wrapped his arms around her.

She immediately sank into him, fisting his jacket in her fingers and burying her nose into his neck. He could hear her breath hitching, felt her shuddering against him. He closed his eyes, one hand coming up to thread through her hair, cradling her head to him while the other tightened around her waist. They remained like that for a long while, until the bell rang, alerting them both the incoming wave of teenagers. Rachel shifted just enough so that she could talk audibly.

"It was so close, Eddie…"

Her voice broke, and so did his heart. He tightened his arms, clutching her to him. "I've got you," he whispered into her hair. "I've got you…"

Her fists, impossibly, tightened. "I love you. I don't say it enough, but I do. I love you, Eddie."

"I know. I know that, Rach." His hand was stroking up and down her spine now. "I love you too."

The bang of the doors behind them had them both looking around; Rachel quickly turned back the other way to hurriedly wipe away the tears that had escaped. Eddie didn't move, but as the kids began to pour out of the school she reluctantly stepped away. He frowned slightly. "Rach…"

"The kids, Eddie."

"Are well aware by this point that we're together," he said gently, reaching out and wrapping his arm around her. "Be selfish, for once."

It was as if she had needed permission, because she yielded instantly, falling into him. He pressed a kiss to her temple, guiding her into the building and keeping her firmly tucked into his side as they walked, ready to fend off any of the kids if needed. But when they saw the look on his face, they all allowed them to pass un-pestered and without saying a word.

Chris was attempting to corral a group away from the office as they climbed the stairs, separating slightly for that. When Rachel appeared, the noise level rose but she appeared not to notice, moving past the group and barely acknowledging the science teacher. Kim met them at the door, eyes full of concern.

Rachel couldn't even attempt a smile for her. "Could you give me- do you mind if-?"

"Of course not. Go." Kim caught on immediately, stepping forward to help Chris. Instinctively, Rachel had caught a hold of Eddie's hand, bringing him into the office with her before she'd even recognised that she'd done it. He made sure to shut both doors as they went, shutting out the world as much as possible.

When he turned back, Rachel had already crossed to the sofa and collapsed onto it. He sat next to her, rubbing her back as she buried her face in her hands and focused on breathing. "I thought he'd done it," she whispered.

Eddie hesitated. "The explosion?" he ventured, guessing. She nodded, not looking up.

"He'd turned on the gas. It was so strong. He had the lighter in his hand and… it didn't work. It didn't light. Not that time, anyway. But there was a split second where I didn't know that, and I thought… I thought it had. I thought I was going to die right there."

Eddie longed to pull her onto his lap, to hold her and hide her from the world, to reassure himself that she was there and safe and alive in his arms but that wasn't what she needed, he sensed. So he contented himself with running his hand up and down her back, the silent support she so desperately needed while his other hand was clenched around the material of his trousers, forcibly stopping himself from reaching out.

"I knew something was wrong. Right at the start, I knew. The way he was acting… but I didn't think he'd go that far. She was his daughter." Rachel turned her head to look at him, lost. "How could anyone do that to their child?"

Eddie shook his head. "I don't know," he agreed. "I imagine there's some… psychological thing a shrink could explain."

"Bianca was so scared. Not at first, but later. And I couldn't even tell her it was going to be alright, because I wasn't sure that it was. Her face when he was holding the knife. He just…" Rachel searched for a way to describe it. "He wouldn't listen. I couldn't make him listen."

"It wasn't your job to," Eddie told her gently. "You saved Bianca, Rachel. If you hadn't been there…"

She pressed her lips together, nodding. She ducked her head for a moment, not realising that one hand was pressed over the faded scar from the last time she'd been so close to a fire. "It was so hot," she murmured. "It was like being shoved from behind, only the pressure was on your whole body and I wasn't sure we were far enough away."

Eddie swallowed thickly, fingers clenching convulsively. "But you were."

"Yeah." She attempted to smile- it was more of a grimace. "Bianca and I both hit the ground and I remember thinking that the gas cannisters were going explode as well and I didn't know whether that explosion would be worse."

"Was it?"

She shrugged. "I honestly don't know. I remember grabbing Bianca, covering her to try to protect her. And then the police and Mrs Vale were running towards us and…"

"… And?" Eddie prompted when she didn't continue.

"The caravan was engulfed. If he'd managed to light it the first time, if we'd been a little slower…" she shuddered and now he couldn't stop himself from pulling her into a hug, holding her as tightly as he could while she gasped against him, basking in the warmth of his arms as she calmed.

Eventually, she shifted so that she could rest her head on his shoulder, their hands entwined on his lap while his other was wrapped around her waist, holding her closely. "I broke my promise," she murmured suddenly. "I'm sorry."

He blinked, confused at the change of subject. "Promise?"

"I promised I wouldn't put myself in danger again," she reminded him, tilting her head to look at him. "I wasn't intending to, Eddie, but…"

"Rach." He cut her off gently. "I knew full well when you made that promise that you'd break it eventually. I was hoping for something a little less serious, admittedly. But I know you- I really know you. And I know you would never leave a child in danger if you could help it. You should have heard the tiff Kim and Chris got into earlier about that."

"What?"

He chuckled. "It's a long story. Oh, and I need to talk to you about Grantley later, as well," he remembered, and she scowled.

"I'm already furious at him," she muttered. "Tell me too much and I might just sack him."

Eddie hesitated. "You're probably going to want to," he admitted. She raised an eyebrow, about to ask, when she thought better of it.

"You know what- tell me tomorrow," she decided, snuggling back down. He smiled, dropping a kiss onto her head. "Eddie?"

"Hm?"

"I want to get married."

He paused. "I should hope so, you're wearing my ring."

She laughed slightly. "No, I mean… I want to do it sooner." She shifted to look at him properly, and smiled when she saw he looked adorably confused.

"I don't follow," he admitted.

"I was sat in that caravan, and I had all these things in my head that I had to live for," she explained softly. "You and Lex, Phillip and Mel, this place. But the only thing I really regretted, was that I wasn't your wife." Her hand came up to caress his cheek, and he grasped it gently to press his lips to the inside of her wrist, delighting in the expression it provoked in her eyes even as her tone remained soft. "I want to be your wife, Eddie. I don't want to wait."

He smiled brilliantly. "I like that plan." He tugged on her wrist to bring her forward, kissing her. And with her lips on his, then it hit him- she was here, wrapped around him, alive and whole and he couldn't prevent himself from tugging her closer, deepening the kiss. She was more than willing, parting her lips with a soft gasp as he clutched her ever-closer.

Voices from the outside office had them breaking apart, staring at each other for a long moment as they caught their breaths. Rachel hastily ran her hands over her hair as she settled back next to him, tugging his jacket back into place when she saw how rumpled it had become. "I take it you like that idea," she murmured.

"If we're honest, I usually like your ideas," he pointed out, flashing a grin at her. She rolled her eyes, settling back against him with her head on his arm. He hid a smile, hating the fact that she needed comfort but undeniably pleased she felt comfortable enough to seek it from him.

"Are you okay?" she whispered.

"Of course. Why?"

"Because you're holding me so tightly, I'm going to have bruises."

Instantly he loosened his grip, looking distraught. "I'm sorry-!"

"Hey." She reached up, touched his face gently to silence him. "I'm right here. I'm okay."

He forgot, sometimes, that as well as he knew her, she knew him. He turned his head to tenderly kiss the pads of her fingers, and gave her his most convincing smile. "I know. I'm just glad of it."

Her own gentle smile told him that he hadn't fooled her for a second. "Is there anything urgent that needs doing before we go home?" she asked, eager to leave. He shook his head.

"Paperwork is all done and anything else can be done tomorrow." He screwed his face up as he tried to remember. His stomach sunk as suddenly, he recalled one thing they were going to have to deal with. "Lex…"

Concern flickered over her face. "What about her?"

"Between Mrs Vale and the police, what happened went around the school in minutes." He looked apologetic. "I told Lex the basics this morning so she didn't hear it second hand, but when things really went wrong I tried to keep it quiet."

"I would have done the same," Rachel frowned. "So what's the problem?"

"The problem is that this is Waterloo Road, and nothing stays quiet," he winced. "Lex found out and lost it a bit. She ended up yelling at Chris, Kim and me- not entirely undeservedly," he hastened to add when he saw her face. "But she was upset. And then once we'd gotten the news that you were ok… then she was angry. She walked out."

Rachel closed her eyes for a moment. "I don't blame her," she murmured. "I'd be angry too."

Eddie didn't quite know what to say. "I don't think she means it," he offered.

"I know. I'll talk to her. Maybe it will help." She sighed and bit her lip, now worried for a whole new reason. A knock on the door had them both looking up, and Chris and Kim entered, the former holding up a bottle and studiously keeping his expression blank when he saw Rachel practically curled up in Eddie's arms.

"No matter what you both say, you need a drink," he said firmly. "Red wine is required."

Rachel straightened out slightly, but stayed pressed against Eddie. "Yeah, I think you might be right there," she agreed, taking the offered glass.

"And you also need a lecture about how important you are to this school," Chris continued. She rolled her eyes.

"Chris, please don't-"

"Never take risks like that again." He glared at her. "Yeah?"

Eddie snorted. "I've been asking her that for two years now. Hasn't taken yet."

Rachel hit him on the arm, sighing as she looked down at her hands, a wave of guilt running through her not for the first time, as she considered everything she'd put Eddie through. The man was a saint, she thought silently, but aloud changed the subject, not willing to be lectured by one of her staff. "How did he get in here?" she wondered.

Chris looked grim. "If you're determined enough, you'll get in." he shrugged slightly. "We can't wrap the school in barbed wire."

"As of next week, we focus our efforts," Rachel said. "We've got to put our pupils' emotional health right at the top of the agenda…"

"Rach." Eddie placed a gentle hand on her knee. "Enough. Switch off for five."

She hesitated, but nodded and some tension eased out of her shoulders as she took a mouthful of wine, leaning back against him. Chris assiduously didn't look at them, and Rachel just managed to prevent herself from rolling her eyes. It wasn't as if she were on his lap, for Heaven's sake.

Another knock on the door sounded, and Melissa poked her head in. "Hi," Rachel greeted, not moving from her spot. Her sister smiled, spotted the wine and decided they probably weren't having an official meeting, and entered, quickly crossing the room to wind an arm around her neck.

"You okay?"

"I'm fine," she promised quietly, raising an arm to hug her back for a moment before her sister released her, studying her for a second. Rachel managed a weak smile, relaxing back as Mel straightened and took a seat next to Kim.

"I saw Lex on my way here- Phil's walking her home."

"Thanks Mel." Rachel smiled gratefully at her, concentrating on the warmth she could feel radiating from Eddie. Mel nodded, eyes flicking over her worriedly. Kim was silent, Rachel realised suddenly, unusually for the woman. She scrutinised her carefully, and felt another wave of exhaustion run through her when she saw the look on her face. Would it make her a bad friend to pretend she hadn't seen it? She was already going to have to have a talk with Lex, she wasn't sure she was up to a heart-to-heart with Kim as well.

She was a fully-grown woman, Rachel decided guiltily. If she needed help, she could ask for it. She simply didn't have the energy to pry it out of her.

Eddie had his arm around her, and she found herself relaxing into the warmth of his body, savouring in the feeling of safety he provided. "Alright," she sighed, realising that she couldn't really put it off until the morning, "catch me up on what I missed today." The four exchanged a look; seeing it, Rachel held back a groan and instead took a very big gulp of wine.

W.R.

Several hours later, Rachel sighed in relief as she slipped her boots off, leaning against the wall by the front door while Eddie threw his jacket over the bannister. "Chinese?" he offered. She nodded with a grateful smile, peeking into the living room as she went.

"Lex?"

When she found it empty, she went on a search for her daughter. The kitchen was empty too, but the back door was leaning open. "Lexi?"

She shivered as the cool air hit her, peering through the dimness of the evening to where she could just make out the darkened figure of the girl sat at the table. "Lex?" she walked closer, toes curling on the cold paving stones. "What are you doing? It's freezing out here!"

"I'm fine."

Rachel paused at the flat tone she received. "Eddie's ordering Chinese," she told her warily. "Do you know what you want?"

"I already ate."

Rachel sighed, delicately walking closer to see her properly. "You're angry at me," she stated more than asked.

"Nope." Lex popped the p, raising the glass in her hand to her lips. And Rachel's jaw dropped.

"Is that wine?" she questioned incredulously.

"Yep." She took another sip, still gazing out onto the garden.

"You're sixteen!"

"Do I look as if I give a shit?"

Her jaw dropped open. "Alexandra-!"

"NO!" In a move that had her mother jerking in surprise, Lex had stood and twisted around in the blink of an eye, slamming her free hand on the table. "You don't get to. Not tonight."

Rachel gaped for a moment, flabbergasted at her daughter. "Lex-" she began, but the girl scooped up the bottle on the table and pinned her with a glare.

"I'm going to take a bath. Enjoy your Chinese."

Utterly stunned, Rachel did nothing as Lex stalked past her and into the house. By the time her brain and mouth had reconnected, the girl was already gone. As she stepped into the kitchen, locking the door behind her, Eddie entered from the hallway with the phone in his hand and a look of bemusement on his face. "Did I just see Lex with a bottle of wine?"

Rachel nodded, unable to even begin to try to describe what had just happened, let alone explain it. She slid onto a stood, resting her head in her hands. "What do I do?" she asked, her voice low and muffled. Eddie crossed the room to stand behind her, rubbing her shoulders gently.

"You need to talk to her."

She reached over her shoulder to place one hand over his, squeezing gently as she leant back into him. "I don't think she wants to talk to me."

"You and Lex are very alike, Rach." Although he was nowhere near drunk, the alcohol running through his veins made him blunter than he would be normally. "And when you're afraid, you try to run. Lex is the same."

"You think she's afraid?"

"Rachel." His tone was reproachful, as he dropped his hands and stepped around the stool to face her. "She's petrified. And I know you've seen that."

She shook her head in denial. "I didn't-"

"You didn't want to." He cut her off. "Because if you admitted you had, then you'd also have to admit that your actions affect more than just yourself!"

"Eddie!" she looked hurt, but he knew he couldn't stop.

"No Rach. I love you," he said frankly, and she stilled. "And I fell in love with you because of everything you are. And the person you are is someone who will put themselves in danger to help someone else. I don't like it, but I accept that's it's you and as much as I will beg you to be careful and try not to get yourself killed, I won't ask you to change who you are. But Lex… Lex is sixteen. All she cares about is not losing her mother."

She closed her eyes for a moment, looking at her hands. "Eddie, I didn't mean to…"

"I know. But sometimes, Rachel, it's almost like you don't value your own life!"

"Are you angry with me?" the wine must have been affecting her more than she thought, she reflected, if she was only realising this now. Eddie was startled to grasp that he was, and consciously took a deep breath, blowing it out while he counted to ten and inwardly warning himself to tread carefully here while he tried to clamp down on the emotions swirling inside him. Perhaps drinking hadn't been such a good idea.

"I almost lost you, again." He pressed his lips together. "And as much as I do accept every part of you, sweetheart, the thought of losing you…"

She stood, cupping his face in her hand. "I'm sorry," she whispered. "I do value my life, Eddie. The only thing I wanted earlier was to come home, to you and Lex. I really didn't mean to-"

He pulled her into a tight, clutching embrace, much like the one they'd been in earlier that day. Only this time, it was for him. He buried his face in her hair, felt her warm and alive in his arms and thanked every deity he could think of that that was the case. "Lex is sixteen," he emphasised in a murmur, not moving an inch. "And you were the only person in her life for a very long time. You need to talk to her. But I think you probably already know that, too."

"I do," she whispered, muffled against his shirt. "I do. And Eddie," she pulled back to look him in the eye, "I promise, I won't put myself into a situation like that again…"

He was already shaking his head. "Don't make promises you can't keep," he warned. She bit her lip.

"Then I promise I'll do my best to stay out of them," she offered, and that he accepted, pulling her back into his arms.

Two hours later, fed and a little more sober than she'd been earlier, Rachel climbed up to Lex's room and knocked on the door, having heard her come out of the bathroom. There was no answer, but she pushed it open anyway and found the room in darkness, save for a single string of purple lights around the headboard. "Lexi?"

The girl didn't answer, but every instinct within Rachel told her that she wasn't asleep. She moved across the room, and it was only when she drew closer that she could see Lex was shaking, her body racked with sobs she was keeping suppressed by burying her face into her pillow. And Rachel thought her heart was going break. "Oh, sweetheart…"

Gently, she encouraged the girl to shift over enough for her to sit next to her, and as soon as she had she pulled her into her arms. Without the pillow, her cries were now painfully loud as she clutched at her mother. Rachel held her tightly, practically bringing her onto her lap. "Baby, you're going to make yourself sick," she worried, as the girl gasped for breath between sobs. She was utterly distraught, in a state Rachel didn't think she'd seen her in since she was a very young child. "Sweetheart, breathe!" she ordered, genuinely concerned. But she wasn't sure Lex could even hear her.

How long had this been brewing under the surface? Longer than just today, Rachel recognised, stroking a hand through Lex's hair as she murmured nonsense to her. It seemed to work- the tremors weren't quite as violent, and so Rachel carried on, ignoring the slight pain the position she was in was causing.

After several minutes, Rachel realised that what she'd thought were incoherent noise were actually words, audible only as Lex calmed down somewhat. She strained to hear them, and almost immediately wished that she couldn't. "Don't leave. Please don't leave."

Rachel squeezed her eyes closed, guilt settling low in her stomach. She'd caused this.

"I'm not going anywhere," she promised in a whisper. "I'm right here, Lexi. Everything's fine."

"No it's not!"

Rachel jumped at the hysterical cry, not expecting it. "Darling…"

"It's not fine!" Lex gasped out, shuddering. "It's not fine! You could have died! Again! Mum, you could have- you- please-!"

She gasped out sobs that racked her whole body and Rachel could do nothing but hold her, ignoring the tears running down her own cheeks. "I'm right here," she murmured. "I'm right here, I'm not going anywhere."

"I can't do this, I can't do this…"

Rachel had no idea what she meant, and wasn't entirely sure it mattered at that point; Lex was so distressed she was going to make herself ill or inadvertently trigger a seizure- either way, she needed to calm down enough to breathe more normally. "Lexi, listen to me," she whispered. "I know how scared you are. I do. But what happened today- it's never going to happen again."

"You said that last time!"

"I know," she acknowledged. "And today… was unintentional. I was just trying to protect a little girl, I wasn't trying to put myself in danger."

"But you did!" Lex hiccupped on the final word, pressing her face into her shoulder. "Mum…"

Rachel stroked a hand over her hair. "It's okay. It's okay, I'm right here. I'm not going anywhere," she soothed, and Lex curled even tighter into her. Rachel pressed a kiss to her temple, before resting her cheek on the top of her head. "I know you're afraid of losing me like your dad," she whispered, and Lex stilled. "I know you're afraid of being left alone. But I promise you, my love- you are never going to be alone. And I am always going to fight to come home to you."

"Why do you do it?" Lex sounded exhausted, a defeated tone entering her voice. "Why do you put yourself in those positions?"

Rachel was silent for a moment. "Because… because every student is someone's child. And if I can help them, if I can stand up for them in some way… then they deserve to have that, Lexi, my conscience won't allow any less. If it were you, I would want someone to do the same."

Lex was silent.

"Would you really want me to do otherwise?" Rachel asked in a murmur. "If I had the choice between helping someone or staying safe, would you really want me to step back and watch them come to harm when I could have changed it?"

There was another, long moment of silence. "No," the girl admitted in a whisper. "But I can't face burying another parent either."

Rachel closed her eyes for a brief moment. "I can't promise you that that will never happen. I wish I could. But Lex, I can promise I will always do my best to make sure it doesn't happen before it has to."

"You're a teacher. You shouldn't have to make promises like that!"

She let out a laugh. "You have a point," she agreed. Lex pushed her face into her shoulder, falling silent as Rachel continued to run her fingers through her hair.

"I can't do it, mum," she whispered. "Every time you've done this… I can't close my eyes afterwards because I see you gone. That feeling when I don't know if you're alive or hurt or coming home… I can't describe how much I hate it. It's like all the air is gone. You're all I have."

"That's not true, love. You have Eddie, and Melissa, and Phillip," Rachel pointed out but Lex was shaking her head.

"You're my mum. And I love them all, but they can't replace you! Don't you see that?" she sat up, looking at her half-angrily, half-beseechingly. "I could have all the people in the world and it wouldn't matter! Do you really not know that?"

"She's right, Rach," a voice from the doorway interjected, and through the dimness they could both see Eddie stood in the doorway. "Can I come in? I brought you these for the morning." Lex nodded, and he crossed the room to place the glass of water and paracetamol on the bedside cabinet. "Lex is right about one thing, Rach- you aren't replaceable," he said over his shoulder, turning to leave.

"Stay?" Lex requested quickly, glad the relative darkness would disguise the blush in her cheeks. Eddie glanced at her, uncertain but when she didn't say anything else he nodded, sitting on the end of the bed.

"I'm sorry," Rachel said suddenly, and they both looked at her. "You're right. I have sort of assumed I'm replaceable."

"Mum…"

"No, little love." Rachel looked at her, cupping her cheek gently. "You're both right. I didn't want to see how much this was affecting you, because then I would have to admit that it was. I just kept telling myself that if anything happened, you would be okay and you wouldn't be alone."

"I wouldn't be, but I wouldn't have you. And that's…" Lex's voice broke, and her mother shifted to pull her into a warm embrace.

"I know, sweetheart. I'm so sorry."

Lex hugged her back without a word, clinging to her just as she had when she was a child. Eddie watched them both with a small smile but Rachel didn't notice, pressing a kiss to Lex's head as she held her.

Within minutes, her daughter's breathing had evened out and deepened, her grip loosening. And so carefully, Rachel eased herself from underneath her and laid her on the pillow, tucking the covers around her before smoothing the hair from her face.

"She's going to have quite the headache in the morning," Eddie murmured. She nodded without answering, looking down at her. So lost in her own thoughts, she jumped when she felt Eddie's hand on the small of her back. "Come on. You must be exhausted."

He guided her back to their room, flicking on the lamp to cast a soft glow. Rachel stood motionlessly, and it was only when she caught sight of herself in the mirror that she realised she was crying. Eddie came to stand in front of her, gently leaning down to kiss the tears from her cheeks. "Don't cry, love, it'll be alright."

She nodded, but the tears continued to come. Eddie pressed another kiss to her cheek and began to undress her, deceptively nimble fingers stripping her clothes from her in record time. Exhaustion pooled within her, but she masked her sigh. He was usually so good at reading her, this had never come up before. She was just mustering up the strength to tell him not tonight, that she was too tired and definitely not in the right headspace… when he grabbed her pyjama top and held it out for her to slip her arms into. Another twenty seconds had her entirely dressed for bed, and she couldn't stop herself from wrapping her arms around his neck and hugging him tightly, sending up a silent thanks that this wonderful man had chosen her.

Eddie embraced her back, waiting until she pulled away before releasing her. He tucked a lock of her hair behind her ear, urging her towards the bed. She'd taken off her makeup before dinner, he knew, so he pulled back the covers, tucking them over her once she'd climbed in. She smirked slightly, catching a hold of the back of his neck to press a sleepy kiss to his lips. "Do I get a bedtime story too?" she asked cheekily, the effect lost somewhat by the remnants of tears on her cheeks and the fact she was visibly fighting to keep her eyes from closing.

He smiled lopsidedly at her (she was here, she was alive!) and kissed her gently. "Go to sleep, Miss Mason."

He shucked his own clothes, leaving them in a heap on the chair in the corner to deal with tomorrow before climbing into bed himself and flicking the light off. He couldn't stop the smile that came when immediately, Rachel turned to him to burrow into his side, her head resting on his shoulder. He tightened his grip on her, subtly shifting his hand so that it curled in a way that he could feel her heartbeat thrumming beneath his fingertips as he closed his eyes.