Chapter twenty-five

The guard's hand immediately went to his sword, but Erik had a dagger pointed at his throat in a second. The whole party gasped in shock at his outrageous display of threatening a guard of the Lord of the manor. Erik took great pleasure in removing his mask and watching recognition flash in the eyes of the guard who fell to the ground.

"Your highness!" He groveled.

"Save your breath!" He snapped. "Go and arrest the lord of the manor at once!"

"Yes your highness!" He backed away. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry."

Erik rolled his eyes and turned back to the crowd that was staring at him. Sierra had been beside him a moment ago, but now she'd vanished. He turned to Jack and demanded. "Where'd Sierra go?"

The man pointed. "The…the river your highness."

Erik nodded and hurried in the direction Jack had pointed. The crowd parted naturally out of his way and he covered the amount of distance between them. Erik ducked under a willow tree and found Sierra on the other side of the river, her hair down and her back against a tree.

Her head jerked up and her eyes widened as she saw him. The moment he stepped in the river she jumped up and began running! Erik frowned as he splashed across the river and raced after her. Sierra ran madly, but he caught her and pulled her around the waist. Sierra fought him and he wrestled he down to the ground in a sitting position.

"Let me go!"

"What has gotten into you?" He looked at her and saw tears and fear in her eyes. Erik pulled her close and he felt her stiffen. "It's all right Sierra."

Sierra's shoulder's shook with sobs and she pressed her head against his chest. "I-I didn't…want to be seen like this."

"He won't live to hurt anyone again. I will see that his wealth is divided among all the families he's attacked. He will pay dearly for touching you."

"He…was my first." Sierra whispered.

Erik stiffened. "What?"

"I was…seventeen. I-I had no choice." She burrowed closer and gripped his arms. "There have been others, five others since then."

"When I find the men…they will all pay."

"I won't tell you. Ever."

"Sierra."

"Erik, thank you for all you've done."

"I've done nothing."

"Nothing is ever just nothing….even a small gesture, just like what you're doing now, holding me, it's a comfort."

"Sierra," Erik inhaled and spoke the words he'd decided he was going to ask her the moment she sang that song. "will you marry me?"

"No." Her reply was so instant that he was certain that he hadn't heard her.

"Excuse me?"

"No, I won't marry you."

Sierra's heart twisted cruelly inside her. She didn't want to deny Erik, but she had to. She couldn't marry Erik, his heart wasn't ready for love, but neither was she. She'd been hurt too many times and Erik needed someone who could give him children he deserved. She wanted marriage so much, but after all the violations she'd endured, she wasn't ready to give herself to Erik. If he had asked her before that incident she might have said yes, but the guard brought back all the horrors she'd endured. She knew he'd never hurt her, but that didn't stop the fears from plaguing her. And Erik needed someone as strong as she wished she could be. Someone who could endure his tempers with patience and softly turn his anger away with soft words.

She loved Erik, she didn't deny that. But how could she give herself to Erik when the mere thought of doing that frightened her? Erik did frighten her, how could he not? He was handsome and had this passion in his eyes that always caused her to tremble. It was the look in his eyes when he'd called her 'his' that had caused her to run. She wanted to run away, run far away and not feel so vulnerable and open again. Yet…she did want to be loved and she was honored that Erik had proposed to her but she wasn't good enough for him.

"Why?" Erik demanded.

"I'm not good enough for you."

"You're a princess."

She scoffed softly. "I am not a princess. Fine princess I'd make with these hands."

"I don't care about your hands sierra. I want a materialistic reason for not marrying me."

She cleared her throat and tried to prepare herself for the barrage of questions Erik was going to fire at her. "I'm not good enough for you."

"We are very compatible together." He stated.

"You aren't ready for marriage yet and neither am I. You deserve someone who's… prettier and more sophisticated than me."

"Like Amanita?" She bit her lip and nodded her head. "I tried that once and it didn't work, remember?"

"Not all women are like Amanita."

"And I haven't seen one woman who compare herself to you."

She rubbed her hands together and averted her gaze. "There's an old saying that the moon can get in your eyes at times Erik. I believe that happened to you. It was simply a moment, it happens from time to time with us. A little magic but there's nothing there."

"Sierra, stop making feeble excuses and answer the question. Why won't you marry me?"

She inhaled and blurted out. "I don't want to."

"Why?"

"I-I just don't."

"Well," Erik was getting angrier now. "since you can't concoct a single reason not to marry me, I'll make the choice for you. As you've stated many times, you're…a peasant, I'm a prince…you don't have a choice!" Her heart pounded as Erik pulled her up and pressed her against him. "I am ordering you to marry me."

"Erik!"

"Now!" Erik's blue eyes were blazing with anger. "And if you refuse to say yes at the altar, I will force you into my chambers every night and we will live as husband and wife until you agree to be my wife. Are we understood?"

Sierra nodded as a tear ran down her cheek. "Yes. I'll marry you." With that, he began to pull her towards the castle. "But if you honestly think that your actions are going to make me fall in love with you, you're wrong Erik. I won't. I'll hate you!"

"Don't be so sure of that."

She broke free and stared at him, her eyes blazing. "This is my life you're signing away in this fashion, but I have been taught to obey and obey you I will. I have always been honest with you and I'll never say anything less than the truth to you."

"That is one reason why I'm marrying you." Erik said as he grabbed her arm. "You'd never leave and you wouldn't dare to cheat on me with another."

"No I wouldn't Erik, because you deserve love and not pain. What hurts me now is that I deserve love too and instead you choose to inflict pain upon me by not accepting my refusal."

"You have no reason not to marry me." He crossed his arms across his chest and glowered at her. "Tomorrow, you will go purchase a dress at whatever price and we will wed. However, if you can give me one solid, good reason why we cannot marry, I will not marry you. you have until noon tomorrow."

She couldn't remain silent any longer and she had to tell him the truth. "Erik…the reason why…I can't marry you is," she closed her eyes and blurted out. "I'm afraid of you."

"What?!" Erik shouted. "After all we've been through and you're afraid of me?"

She nodded as tears poured down her face. "Yes."

Erik grabbed her shoulders and he demanded as he shook her. "Why?"

She started crying. "I can't give you children!" The fear shook free and she screamed. "I can't! I can't give myself to you because I'm scared!" Erik's face stiffened. "I've learned what it feels like to perform the duties of a wife many times and I cannot!" She trembled as she sank to her knees. "God forgive me, I wish I could but I cannot. I can't. I can't.'

"Sierra," Erik knelt beside her and he wrapped his arms around her. he pulled her close and kissed her forehead. "for a moment I thought I'd lost my little magpie. But now…you've found your voice, even if you do speak disturbing words."

With that, Erik's lips covered her in a deep embrace that caused her mind to go spinning. Erik's hands moved down her shoulders, down her back and that fear welled up in her. She broke the kiss and the moment she saw the look in Erik's eyes she knew that she was doomed forever.

"No." Erik said firmly as he pulled her against him. "No, Sierra, do not allow that to happen." He pulled her up. "We're going to marry now. Tonight, I will make you leave all your fears behind and fill your heart with the happiness you've given me."

"Erik."

His eyes flashed. "Not a word! I mean it Sierra."

Hmmm. Erik is being...Erik again.