He was waiting with hot chocolate and a smile I couldn't return.
"Girlfriend?"
The smile faded. "Is that okay? I mean…I know I should have talked to you first, but—"
"Okay?" My voice was low and trembling. "Okay?"
Well, the second time I said it was more like a shriek.
"You think it's okay to have a girlfriend for two years and then lead me on? Make me feel special. Like you're kind of crazy about me? You want to know if this is all okay?"
Edward dropped the cups of hot chocolate and reached for me. I barely registered the steaming liquid as it splashed over my shoes and up my legs. My soul was frozen.
"No, Bella—"
I stopped him. "I don't know why I thought you were serious. You're never serious. Everyone warned me that you'd flirt like mad but that it didn't mean anything. God, I'm so stupid. Stupid, plain, silly Bella. I fell for you—for your tricks. Let you hold me and tease me and even kiss me…on the forehead, I mean, but it felt like so much more."
I was babbling, but I couldn't stop.
"You're in love with her. I heard them say it. How could you be in love with someone and do this to me? Does she know about me?"
"Yes." He shouted the word in desperation.
"So I'm the only one who didn't know. The only person not in on the little game. Jesus."
Rosalie's words came back to haunt me. I should have listened to her—should have really paid attention to what she'd said. Whatever he'd done to her, he'd just done to me. How many girls had there been in between us?
I made a fool of myself for the two months I thought Edward wanted me. I didn't know he was doing the same thing with other girls.
That's what Rosalie had said. I could say the very same thing.
"Rosalie said you'd do this," I muttered. "She said you did the same thing to her, and I just didn't listen."
Edward's face twisted in confusion. "Rosalie? You mean when she first moved—"
I didn't let him finish. "You messed with her, too. Made her think she was special when there were other girls the whole time. Or just one girl?"
He nodded miserably, his mouth open to interrupt, but I kept going.
"The same girl, huh?"
His head bobbed again.
"So that's what you needed to tell me. Huh."
I didn't wait around for his rebuttal. Everything had been staring me in the face the whole time, and I'd chosen to look past it, to ignore it. From the very first day of school, people had warned me that he was never serious.
I should have listened.