They rose before dawn and took turns in the bath house before going to the lodge for the communal breakfast. Papa Kahn had not yet made an appearance by the time they finished, so they conveyed their gratitude for the Kahn's hospital to Regis, leaving a generous gift before departing. Jay stopped at the mouth of the pass long enough to do some deals at the trader's underground post and get directions to the safe path to the upper region of the Sloan quarry where Melissa was.
Jay and Craig were leading, with Ed-E flitting ahead and around as usual. Matilda and Arcade walked a short distance behind, watching the rear.
"So what's with Boone and Bitter Springs?", Matilda asked, remembering the conversation with Papa Kahn.
"You don't know about Bitter Springs?", Arcade asked.
"If I did would I be asking you?", she snorted.
"Sorry, I forgot you haven't really been in the Mojave that long. Boone was part of a sniper unit assigned to take out the Kahn's at Bitter Springs. They had been raiding NCR supply lines and pretty much making a nuisance of themselves. Anyway it was supposed to be a camp of Kahn warriors, but it turned out that it was a clan camp. When the NCR attacked they tried to get the old, the women and the children out. The snipers called it in and were told to follow orders, so they did. Boone never got over it. He didn't sign up to kill children. So when his enlistment was up he left the NCR and took up a position as guard over in Novac. That's where Jay found him after his wife was killed."
"That is awful.", Matilda said. "No wonder that man's so fucked up in the head. He needs a good strong woman to pull him out of it. I take it his wife wasn't that."
"From what I understand she was mostly eye candy.", Arcade agreed. "But he loved her."
"No accounting for that, is there?", she asked wryly, quirking a smile at him. Arcade grinned at her.
Craig glanced back at the couple behind him. "They seem so happy, don't they?", he asked wonderingly. "Matilda told me some of her past. After all that she's been through you wouldn't think she could be so upbeat. She's certainly had an influence on Arcade. He always seemed so despondent before. Of course, we don't know much about him. He's probably had a rough life too; he just doesn't talk about it."
Jay spared a quick look at the couple. Although they were obviously alert to their surroundings they were apparently also absorbed in an animated conversation. He looked back at the dour sniper. Trouble seemed to have had an influence on him too. That was the most the man had said since he had hired him.
"You're probably right.", Jay rejoined. "Arcade just showed up a few years ago. He claims to be a Follower's doctor and he certainly knows his stuff but no one knows for sure where he got his training or where he came from. He doesn't talk about his past and never seemed to care much about his future until Trouble came along. Look, I believe that's the path we need to take." He turned to motion the couple to come closer together. They were approaching Deathclaw territory and would have to maintain silence.
With a break for lunch, and the time it took to take down a young male Deathclaw that was away from the pack hunting, it took nearly 9 hours to find the Kahn encampment on a ledge high above the quarry. They could see the pond and quarry below were literally crawling with Deathclaws including breeding females and young. They were lucky to have encountered only the one young one. A large bull would have been much harder to kill.
"Greetings, Melissa.", Jay called, holding up his empty hands.
"Greetings, stranger. Come on into camp, but show no weapons.", Melissa returned.
The group went into the camp, covered by the Kahn's weapons.
"Craig.", Melissa said, nodding at the tall sniper in greeting. "Who are your companions?"
"Melissa.", he acknowledged, bowing his head slightly. He had resumed wearing his beret after leaving the Kahn camp and didn't remove it now. "This is Jay, the Courier, and Arcade and Matilda Gannon. Jay has been looking for you."
"Have you, Courier? I've heard of you of course. What would you want with me that would bring you to this place?", she asked, turning to Jay.
"I need to talk to you about the Legion.", Jay responded. Melissa glanced questioningly at Boone.
"You should listen to him.", Craig said. Melissa frowned at his serious expression, then nodded at Jay.
"If Craig thinks I should hear you out, then I will. Have a seat here and tell me what's on your mind.", she said.
Matilda started to walk over to one of the large Kahns standing guard on the ledge.
"Hold on.", Arcade said, taking her arm. "You're not going to challenge him to a match are you?", he asked suspiciously.
Matilda blinked at him. "No-o-o-o.", she drawled. "Why would I?"
"Heaven only knows.", he growled. "Just take care, would you? You may not be feeling any pain with all those meds in your system, but you aren't well."
Matilda snorted. "I know that. Now if you don't mind I just want to have a conversation with him. Or do I need to ask your permission?", she snapped, in a tone that told him that wasn't going to happen.
He dropped her arm. "Of course not. I'm going to see what Jay and Melissa are talking about.", he growled and stomped off.
Matilda bit her lip, watching him go. How had that turned into an argument anyway? She knew he was just trying to show her he cared. She sighed and went over to talk to the Kahn.
It was late in the day by the time Jay and Melissa had finished their business. After a meal that Matilda helped prepare the group opted for some sleep. They were going to leave after dark. Most of the Deathclaws would have retreated to the safety of their chosen lair by then.
"Cade", Matilda said softly as he held her gently on a mat. "I'm sorry. Really, I don't know why I snapped at you. I'm just so tired, I guess, and the hunger doesn't stop. It makes me cranky."
"I know, hon.", he said. "I can't give you any more meds right now. You've had your limit."
"Just having you with me helps a lot.", she said, touching his arm lightly. She really wanted to snuggle up to him but it was still daylight and much too hot, even here in the shade provided by the cliff face. Only a soft breeze made the day tolerable and sleeping possible.
Craig decided he would stay behind and help the Kahns dismantle their camp. Their contact had not shown and Melissa had decided the camp was no longer safe since the Deathclaws had moved in, so they were going to leave the next night. That would give her suppliers one more day to show up.
The remainder of the group left late that night, skirting the quarry quietly and warily by the light of the half-moon to avoid any encounters with the long clawed killing machines. After clearing the area they made their way along the base of the mountains toward the old rock crushing plant. Once outside Deathclaw territory it would be safe to converse in low tones, to avoid drawing attention from any Fiends or other dangers that might be lurking in the dark.
"Did you accomplish what you wanted with Melissa?", Matilda asked curiously.
"Yes.", Jay replied. "She was pretty pissed off when she found out how the Legion treats women. She really believed that frumentarius that was at the camp when he told her she would be allowed to fight. I think it was Boone's graphic descriptions of Legion life that swayed her. She seems to think a lot of Craig and trusts what he tells her."
"Yeah, what about him? How come he isn't coming with us?", she asked.
"He didn't say but I did overhear him and Melissa discussing Bitter Springs. I think they were going to go there together.", Jay said.
"Imagine that.", Arcade said. "Hopefully that will help both of them to face what happened there. Maybe it will help them heal going there together."
Matilda was uncharacteristically silent. She was thinking about Boone and Melissa at Bitter Springs, the facility, the tribes she and her father had known and left behind to the mercies of the Legion. If things went well they would be back at New Vegas by the next morning. She had to decide what she was going to do.
The made a stop to rest and have a cold meal at the base of the mountains before heading into the open area toward the rock crushing plant. They encountered only a lone Raider guard that Ed-E took down before the others noticed him.
"Damn that machine.", Matilda muttered, kicking at the still warm body. "I could have used that. Oh, well, give me a couple minutes, would you? Dead blood is better than nothing."
Jay shrugged. Ed-E was programmed to kill, not to take prisoners. By the time they reached the El-Ray they had been travelling for over 8 hours and Matilda was glad for another break. She could tell she was getting worse and her stamina wasn't up to par. It would be another 3 hours before they reached Freeside and she could sleep for a few hours before going out. She had made up her mind.
Boone and Melissa had been walking most of the day under the sweltering desert sun. Boone wasn't wearing the hot armor Jay insisted on when he travelled with him. He much preferred the tan colored t shirt and loose combat pants with its numerous pockets for supplies. Personal protection wasn't high on his list of priorities and the attire was much cooler. After all, Melissa wore little more than minimal hide coverings.
They had taken breaks throughout the day for meals so it was evening by the time they settled in the lea of a large boulder where it formed a natural indentation that made a defensible camp. He still wasn't sure why he had given in to her and accompanied her to this place. He shed his pack and clips, placing his rifle next to him. His chest was tight, the past echoing in his mind, as he stretched out toward the edge of the precipice.
Boone lay flat on his stomach overlooking the pass at Bitter Springs where so many had died unnecessarily. Melissa lay beside him, also observing the pass, now empty save for the slight humps in the dry soil, marking the graves long ago swallowed by the unrelenting desert.
"Why?", she asked, her voice so low he could hardly hear her over the night sounds of the desert. The moon hung low in the sky, partially obscured by cloud, the light not finding them where they lay hidden in the shadow of the boulder.
He didn't look at her. "I'm sorry.", he whispered.
She turned to face him, grabbing his shoulder, shoving him onto his side. "Why?", she demanded, her voice louder, insistent. "Why did you do it?"
He didn't have an answer. He just looked down at the ground, not meeting her gaze.
"Why?", she snarled intently, hitting him in the chest with her balled fist.
He grabbed her shoulders, holding her not to restrain her but trying to calm her. He closed his eyes, his body stiff with shame and guilt. He had no answer for her.
"Why did you do it?", she screamed, infuriated by his silence, pounding his chest savagely with both fists. He held her, letting her punish him, his guilt like knives driving into him with each blow.
"Natalie.", she sobbed, her blows weakening. "I tried to protect her, I did, I tried, but they were coming from everywhere. Even when she fell I tried to carry her out, but it was too late. She was only 4 years old. Why did she die and I didn't? Why did you do it?", she cried.
He pulled her close, his head down, his tears mixing with hers. The guilt sliced through him like a sword, threatening to consume him. 'I had to.' 'It was my orders' He didn't say any of those things, they seemed so inadequate, so wrong. All he could say was "I'm sorry."
She reached up, clasping each side of his head, holding him in a punishing grip. "Sorry!", she hissed. "The NCR was sorry. They sent an apology. It was a mistake! Children, babies, lying in the dirt, gunned down like mad dogs! You should be sorry!"
Her eyes blazed into his with such an intensity of anger and pain it ripped through him, slamming into his guilt. He felt like he was going to come apart. Suddenly she jerked his head down to hers, her lips meeting his in a hard, punishing kiss, her teeth sinking into his lower lip. He exploded, shoving her down, grinding her into the hard soil beneath him, ravishing her mouth, relishing the pain.
She arched into him, desperately trying to get closer, she needed him closer. She struggled to shed the leather pants, shoving them past her knees, clawing at his belt. Their passions screamed for release as she jerked him free and swelled up, pulling him into her. Pain sliced through him with every thrust, cutting into his guilt like a scalpel lancing a poisonous wound. They rode the crest of their pain and passion until all the guilt, all the anger, all the pain and desire and desperation screaming inside, came together and burst out into the vast wasteland.
Boone supported his weight on trembling arms over the girl. "What just happened?", he asked jerkily.
"I don't know.", she gasped, bringing her breathing under control as her heartbeat began to slow.
He rolled off her onto his back, staring at the night sky. "Why didn't you stop me?", he asked.
"It seemed right.", she answered. "It was that or beat you to death with my bare hands." He turned onto his side, pulling her chin around gently to look into her face.
"Yes.", he said slowly, pulling her to him. "It did seem right."
She was quiet for a minute. "Was it you, Craig?", she asked wearily. "Did you kill a little girl?"
"I don't know.", he admitted. "I was shooting blind. I just closed my eyes and fired."
"So fate determined who you killed, if anyone.", she sighed.
"I betrayed my orders.", he said. "And it didn't do any good."
"You obeyed your conscious. A lot more people could have died.", she said firmly. "I'm glad you didn't target them. If some of your bullets found them, we'll never know. Maybe that's for the best."
She turned and snuggled against him, laying her head against the bruises on his chest, smearing him slightly with the blood seeping from her skinned knuckles, mixed with his blood from the gouges her nails had made on his back. He rested his head on the tangled mass of dark hair and inhaled her scent. He was silent for several minutes, just holding her. Each breath brought a sharp stab of pain.
"I think you cracked a rib.", he said matter of factly. She snorted.
"Serves you right. Do you have a blanket in that pack? It's getting kind of chilly.", she mumbled.
He sighed, sitting up with a grimace at the slash of pain in his chest, to get the blanket to wrap over them. Melissa was far from eye candy. She was tough and hard and strong, born of the desert. She wouldn't allow him to wallow in self-pity or drown in old guilt. It did seem right. The desert had absorbed their grief. He had a long way to go but maybe now he had a chance.