Star Trek Voyager characters are the property of Paramount Pictures.

Way The Wind Blows

Chapter Twenty Five

Soft summer rain fell from a gray Canadian sky. Wearing solid brown boots and a white raincoat over blue jeans, Kathryn surveyed the exterior of the cabin, now officially hers. A sadness filled her heart at how derelict it had become. There was a large hole in the roof, the front door was hanging off, and the windows were nothing but broken glass. It was so different to the picturesque and welcoming cabin she remembered.

Walking against the rain, Kathryn went up to what had been the living room window and peered inside. The once cozy room was dirty and dusty and rubble from the roof lay scattered over broken furniture. There was no way she could go inside, the falling roof was a death-trap.

Kathryn drew away from the window and began to walk around the cabin. To the rear of the cabin, the roof had almost completely collapsed, exposing the rear bedroom almost entirely to the elements. It was a very depressing sight. Even the roof of the transporter room had caved in.

Turning away from the cabin, Kathryn looked out at the yard. It was overgrown with grass now and cluttered with debris. Slowly, she walked over to where she and Chakotay had sat around a roaring fire all those years ago, and saw that the stones they had used to contain the fire were still there, buried deep in the grass. Oblivious to the rain, Kathryn knelt down and picked one up. Tenderly, she ran her fingers over the cold, wet, stone, and then looked around. In her mind she could see Chakotay sitting before her, could smell roasting potatoes, could feel Petunia's warm body nestling beside her, and could hear the rhythmic beating of a drum...

Kathryn put the stone down and got to her feet. Raising her hand to her brow to shield her eyes from the hardening rain, she looked up at the cabin once more. While the windows were broken and the doors were hanging off, the chimney was still intact and the shell of the cabin was standing strong. She concluded that with a new roof and some general maintenance, the cabin would be habitable again.

When Kathryn arrived home in Indiana, she changed out of her wet clothes, took a bath, and then began to get ready to dine out with her mother and Aunt Martha. They had booked a table for 6pm at a quaint local restaurant that overlooked Lake Griffy. Not wanting to look too formal or too casual, Kathryn had replicated a short cream dress, matching sandals with a small heel, and an elegant lace-style cardigan of glittering gold fabric. Just as she was buttoning up her dress, there was a knock at the door.

"Come in!"

Her mother came in, smartly dressed herself in a pleated skirt of navy blue and a short-sleeved white blouse. Her hair was swept up from her face in a plaited bun and she had a string of pearls around her neck.

"Mark's here to see you," she said. "I didn't like to tell him we're going out. I told him to wait in the living room."

"You did the right thing," Kathryn replied. Since returning from the Delta Quadrant, she had wanted to see him. Because of all that had happened, there was a lingering awkwardness between them, and she wanted to clear it. She also wanted to ask about the fate of Molly, her once beloved dog. But she hadn't liked to seek Mark out. He had a new life now, and she didn't want to barge into it and impose herself. "We've still got a good forty minutes before we're due at the restaurant," she continued,"but if he and I are not finished by then, you and Aunt Martha go on without me. I'll join you later."

"Very well," her mother replied.

Kathryn picked up her sandals. "Tell him I'll be down in a moment."

"Alright."

With that, her mother left, closing the door behind her.

Mark was looking out of the living room window when Kathryn arrived in the room. He was wearing a brown jacket over black pants and looked just like she remembered...older, but the same. At the sight of him, a lump gathered in Kathryn's throat. For so long he had been the most important person in her life, and a part of her would always love him. He turned around when he heard her enter the room, and he looked distinctively uncomfortable.

"Hello, Kathryn."

Kathryn smiled at him warmly. "Hello, Mark."

A red blur moved behind his legs, and a Red Irish Setter appeared from behind an armchair.

Kathryn's heart skipped a beat. "Molly?"

"The one and only," Mark replied, relaxing a little at Kathryn's warm welcome. "I wasn't sure if it was right to come, but aswell as wanting to see you, I needed to return her."

Molly strolled over to Kathryn and looked up at her with friendly brown eyes. Kathryn knelt down and hugged the large dog.

"It's so good to see you, old girl," she said, drawing away. "How are you doing?"

Molly wagged her tail at Kathryn's display of affection, but there was no recognition in her eyes.

"As I expected," Kathryn said, getting to her feet. "She doesn't remember me. You're her family now. I couldn't possibly take her away from you."

"Are you sure, Kath? We've always known that one day she might leave us."

"I'm absolutely sure. It wouldn't be fair to her or to you"

"Carla will be pleased," he replied. "She dotes on Molly. And, I admit, it would be kind of strange without her in the house."

Kathryn smiled. "Admit it, Mark. You're smitten with her too."

Mark laughed softly. "I guess I am. Who'd have ever thought it?" He then fell serious. "I thought you were dead, Kath. If I'd known you were still alive, I would have waited."

"I know," Kathryn replied. "But perhaps then it's for the best that you didn't know."

"I guess. But I was totally devastated when Voyager went missing. If it wasn't for Carla, I don't know how I would have got through. I don't want you to think that my grief wasn't real, that I just cast aside my loss and moved on."

"I've never thought that, Mark. I know that you loved me. And I'm glad that you found happiness again."

"Thank you, Kath," Mark smiled. "That means more than you could ever know." He paused. "And I'd like it if we could still be friends. We were friends for so long."

"I'd like that too," Kathryn replied. "And I'd like to meet your wife...see if she gets my approval."

Mark laughed. "I'm sure she will. She's a wonderful woman, Kath. I've been so lucky to be loved by two wonderful women. You couldn't hope to meet a kinder or more thoughtful woman."

"And I hear you have a son."

"Yes. His name's Kevin. He's eighteen months old. You'll have to come to dinner, get to meet him and Carla at the same time."

"I would love too."

"How about tomorrow evening? That is if you don't have any other plans."

"None at all. Tomorrow it is."

Mark was just about to speak when the door opened and Kathryn's mother appeared.

"I'm sorry to interrupt," she began, "but you have another visitor. Chakotay."

Kathryn swallowed. Of all the times, of all the days... But it had been eighteen years since Mark and Chakotay had met at the castle and it was unlikely that Mark would recognize him. If he was going to recognize Chakotay as Jack, he would have done so by now as he must have seen pictures or media footage of Chakotay over the past seven years.

"Show him in."

Her mother left again, and Chakotay came in, wearing blue jeans and a white t-shirt.

Kathryn smiled. "Chakotay, it's good to see you."

"I hope now's not a bad time," he said, seeing that Kathryn had company.

"Not at all." It was the worst possible time, but she was so glad he had come, that she didn't want him to leave again. She gestured to Mark. "This is Mark, my former fiancé." She then turned to Mark and introduced Chakotay. "Mark, this is Chakotay, my First Officer and Maquis miscreant."

Mark stepped forward and held out his hand. "It's an honor to meet you, Chakotay."

Chakotay smiled and shook his hand. "Likewise."

As the two men parted hands, Mark studied Chakotay curiously, a familiarity about this man bugging him. "Have we met before? You seem rather familiar. And I don't just mean from the media."

"I don't think so," Chakotay replied.

"Then you probably just remind me of someone."

"That's probably it," Kathryn said hastily. "May I get you both a drink? Tea, coffee, juice?"

"I'm fine, thank you," Chakotay replied.

"Mark?"

"No, thank you." He pulled a dog leash out of his pocket and began to fasten it to Mollly's collar. "And I'd better get going. I have a lecture to give this evening."

"Alright," Kathryn replied, not wanting to make him feel uncomfortable by insisting he stay. "I'm glad you came."

He smiled. "So am I."

"What time shall I come over for dinner tomorrow?"

"About 6.30pm. That will give you a chance to meet Kevin before we put him to bed."

"I look forward to it."

Mark gazed at her, his eyes moist. "It really is good to see you, Kath."

"You too."

Kathryn then broke their gaze and turned to the door, about to show him out.

"No," Mark protested. "I'll show myself out. I know the way."

Kathryn smiled. "I guess you do."

"See you tomorrow...and welcome home."

"Thank you." Kathryn then looked down at her former pet and tickled her ear. "Goodbye, Molly."

Mark and Molly then left and Kathryn closed the door behind them. She then turned to Chakotay and gestured to the couch.

"Please, have a seat."

Chakotay sat down and Kathryn sat in a chair opposite him. "So, how was your cousin and his family?"

"Good," Chakotay replied. "I wouldn't have recognized the children, though. They've grown so much."

Kathryn smiled. "They have a habit of doing so."

"But it was great to spend some time with them and see the city." He paused. "I've also stayed a couple of nights with an old friend in Dallas, and last night I stayed in Florida."

Kathryn frowned. "I thought you said you were going to stay with Seven and her aunt before leaving for Trebus?"

"I stayed one night, but it wasn't really working between Seven and I, so we decided to call it quits."

"I'm sorry." Even though her own heart wasn't exactly sorry, she was sorry for his. Being with Seven had made him so happy.

"It was a mutual decision. I was having doubts and she was too. Things seemed so right on Voyager, but now that we're home, it didn't seem right anymore."

Kathryn could understand that. As small as their world on Voyager was, it was the only world Seven had really known. Now they were home, there was a whole Federation of opportunities for her to explore. Being tied down in a relationship could be very restricting.

"When are you leaving for Trebus?"

"I don't know. There have been developments. That's why I'm here. I saw Dr Briluk this afternoon, just an hour ago, in fact, and she believes she can help me."

Kathryn's eyes lit up at this news. "That's...wonderful."

"Yes. She performed several tests, including some brain scans, and concluded that with treatment I can recover most of my memories. This treatment would involve open-brain surgery, but she says the risks in our day and age are very small."

At this, the brightness in Kathryn's eyes faded. Despite the advancements in medical science, open-brain surgery could still be fatal.

"I would have had the surgery today, if I could, but it's a long and complicated operation and needs to be done at hospital. As my condition isn't life-threatening, a theater has to be booked in advance. Dr Briluk has booked me the first available slot, which is next month. That gives me plenty of time to go to Trebus, as it only take a few days to get there, but I'd rather go when...when I'm recovered. That way, my sister will get to meet the real me." He paused. "The operation is my only hope of recovering my memories. While in fictional novels and drama all memories suddenly return after a certain stimulus, she said that in real life that rarely happens in cases of head-injury. The tests that she did show that ninety-nine percent of my memory ingrams are undamaged, but that neural pathways accessing those memories are either dead or damaged. I will continue to regain some memories, because even the brain heals itself somewhat, but unless the neural pathways are restored and regenerated, she said I will never regain access to more than five percent of those memories." He paused again. "Restoring the pathways would involve deep neural regeneration and, unlike with memory ingram suppression or alteration, this kind of deep regeneration can't be done through bone, at least not effectively. That's why the brain needs to be exposed."

"I don't think you should have it," Kathryn said quietly. "Not if there are risks. You're well, you're happy. That's all that matters."

"Not to me," Chakotay replied. "I don't know who I am, Kathryn. You see? I just called you Kathryn and I don't know why." Tears welled in his eyes. "I can't stop thinking about you. Ever since the party, you've been on my mind. And I'm seeing you, a younger you." He got up and went over to the window. "I don't know who I am or why I have certain feelings or memories. The last ten years are just a jumble in my mind. I want to understand, I want to know who I am." He turned to her. "And I want to understand why I feel the way I do about you. Did we meet in the past or am I just making up memories? Dr Briluk said that I might do that. Were we lovers? Did something happen between us? Help me to understand."

Kathryn went over to him and put her hand on his arm. "Come with me, Chakotay. I'll show you something."

With that, she turned around, opened the door, and began to walk out of the room. Chakotay hesitated a moment, but then followed. Kathryn led Chakotay through a long hallway to the stairs, and then up them to her childhood bedroom. As she went over to her bedside cabinet, Chakotay looked around, absorbing every detail of the room. Kathryn picked up her red velvet box and carried it over to him.

"You gave me this for Christmas, a long time ago." Carefully, she opened the box and pulled out her precious locket. "I cherished it for many years and it's still very special to me."

She held out the locket to him, and Chakotay slowly took it. He gazed at the intricately engraved silver heart and then opened the locket. His eyes first fell on an image of himself with a mustache wearing Victorian attire, and then on a familiar image of Kathryn. He tenderly touched the glass covering the picture.

"This is how I saw you," he said quietly. "The other night at the party...when we were dancing. I saw you in my mind, just for a second, only a glimpse, but you looked like this." He looked up at her, pain and confusion in his eyes. "But I don't understand. If this was all so long ago, why don't I remember?"

"Because it was only four months ago to you," she answered. "The transporter incident...You weren't just transported to Earth. You were transported to the past. My past. I sent you because...because I knew that I had too...that it was my place. I never knew that before...would never have imagined. But when I saw you in the cargo bay, dressed as you were, I knew then that it was my place to send you. I sent you to 2360, to late summer of that year when I was staying at my family's log cabin in Canada. When we thought you were stuck there...in the past...we became lovers and planned a life together. But we only had weeks together because 'your people' came for you." She paused. "I never thought for a moment that I was 'your people'. It's so hard to comprehend, even now."

Kathryn then held out the letter to him.

"You gave me this letter with the locket. There was a temporal transport attempt, you see, after we became lovers, and...and we knew there was a chance you'd have to leave." She paused. "You signed it Jack because...well, it's a long story."

Chakotay read the words that were definitely written in his handwriting, and an agonizing ache consumed his heart.

"I wish I could remember," he said quietly. He then looked up at her. "But I will, Kathryn. When I've had the operation, I will remember."

"I wish you could remember too, Chakotay. But I don't think it's worth risking your future to remember the past. You've suffered enough." She lowered her eyes. "And I'm so sorry. I knew you would get Post Transportation Trauma, but I never thought you'd be so seriously injured."

"It wasn't your fault, Kathryn. If this was some kind of a temporal loop, then you did what you had to do."

"So I keep telling myself. But, more than doing it for the preservation of history, I did it because...because I wanted it all to happen. The time I spent with you...it was the happiest time of my life."

Chakotay put his hand on her shoulder. "I want to remember, Kathryn. I want to know what we shared. I need to know. I need to remember who I am, not who I was." He paused. "I want to have this operation. Will you support me? I don't know why it matters if you don't, but...somehow...it seems to matter."

Kathryn put her hand over his. "All the way, Chakotay. All the way."

He smiled warmly and they looked into each other's eyes for a moment.

Then, Kathryn took back the locket and the letter from his hand. "I'm going for dinner with my mother and Aunt Martha in..." She looked at the Victorian style clock on her wall. "Well, right about now. Why don't you come too?" The restaurant didn't do tables for three, so there would be a spare place for him.

"Thank you, but I wouldn't be comfortable."

"Ok," Kathryn said, trying to hide her disappointment. She put the locket, letter and red velvet box down on her bedside cabinet, and then turned back to him. "I was going to start hunting for an apartment in San Francisco tomorrow, but I think I'll put that on hold for a while. My aunt has given me her cabin in Canada, and I think I'll spend my time getting that repaired and restored." She paused, but then forced herself to look up at him. "When you've had the operation, you might...you might want to recuperate there...with me."

Chakotay looked deep into her eyes. "I'm sure that I will."

Gently, Kathryn put her hand on his arm. "Where are you staying now?"

"In a hotel. But tomorrow I'm leaving for Tenus Prime. Captain Villers is leading a team of stellar archaeologists there and I've been invited along. It's a good opportunity to do something I've always wanted and I need a distraction."

"I understand that," Kathryn said, eyes moist. "But I'm going to miss you while you're gone."

Almost instinctively, Chakotay reached out and brushed his fingers against her cheek. "I'm going to miss you too."

Tentatively, Kathryn wrapped her arms around his neck and held him close. Slowly, hesitantly, Chakotay put his arms around her and held her in return. As his hold tightened, Kathryn closed her eyes and let herself melt into his embrace. Chakotay closed his eyes too and buried his head in her hair.

"I will remember," he whispered. "I promise I'll remember."

END OF CHAPTER TWENTY FIVE