PLEASE READ: This chapter contains a lot of very disturbing discussion, which I want you to be aware of before reading this, just in case. Dmitri's monologue (about the 9th paragraph ) was EXTREMELY hard for me to write, but I thought that it was necessary to the story, so I did it anyway. Just a warning in case.
I jerked the gun, motioning towards the door. "Get inside. This is between the two of us now." He turned, and I yelled. "Hey! Clasp your hands behind your head. I don't want any funny business."
As I walked past Felix on the way in, I popped another round into his stomach, just to make sure that he wasn't going anywhere. As scared as I felt, the relief and adrenaline that washed over me as I pulled the trigger over powered everything. I had waited WAY too long for this moment to let it go to waste. When we got in, I backed him in to what seemed to be a really nice living room and made him sit down. Still aiming the gun, everything began to close in on me. Staring face to face with the man who tortured my life away made everything all too real. His walk, his posture, his slimy voice, his smell… everything about him sent memories soaring back, and not the good kind.
"Happy to see me?" He chuckled as if he knew exactly what was happening inside of my head. "Your little stunt – escaping that is – has done quite a number on you. Don't worry, we'll get you back to normal in no time."
"Why?" I whispered, tears welling in my eyes.
"What do you mean, 'why'? Business has been slow since you left, they miss you, and frankly, so do I." He stood up and leaned towards me, and in panic, I pulled the trigger, hitting him in his right shoulder. Falling back in pain, he looked up at me, and for the first time since forever I felt in control of something.
"Before I kill you, I want answers." I demanded, voice a lot less powerful than I intended.
"You don't have the balls to ki…" Before he could finish, I fired a shot that was intended for his heart, but hit just to the left of his head instead. Still, it was enough to prove that my intentions were solid.
"Why me? Why was I so different from all of the other girls? Why did you feel the need to take away not just my innocence, but everything good about my life from before? Why couldn't you just let me go? Why are you so instant on haunting my every move and getting me back? Why!?" With each question, I got louder and louder until I was practically yelling.
It was silent for about five seconds before a bone chilling smile spread across his face. "Why? I'll tell you why. Your body, Bella, has sung to me from the first moment I laid eyes on you. You were about…five I suppose. The way you moved, the way your body glistened as you ran through your yard playing games, your entire existence was screaming out my name, begging me to come and save you. I planned your rescue for two years, making sure that every detail of my plan was infallible so that I could have you with no outside interferences. Finally, it was time. I finally got my hands on your perfect skin and I was complete. But…you didn't want me back, you just kept asking for 'Mommy' and 'Daddy,' as if what I was giving you wasn't enough. So I met up with a friend in Mexico who said that for every twenty f^ucks you provided he would give me a few milliliters of this high grade new drug that would wipe your slate clean every night. Finally, the only person you knew, the only person who you would call for in the middle of the night was me. You finally accepted that you were mine. But then…then I got arrested for some stupid traffic citation and you didn't get your meds and you forgot. You forgot me. I came back and you were gone. Gone! I saw on the news that you had gone home…to them, and you were all happy… with that little insect inside you, and I knew that I had to come and take care of the situation. But everyone KEPT GETTING IN MY WAY! So, I sliced that bitches throat the other morning to smoke you out and followed you here, away from all of the distractions." He reached into his pocket slowly, his arm quivering from the pain of the gunshot, and pulled out a syringe. "You've had your fun, now it's time to come back. Don't worry, you won't remember a thing…" My body felt the full force of the gun as it clicked into action, sending a bullet flying directly into the forehead of the monster sitting in front of me. His body slumped over and a steady stream of red began to stain the white carpet. I fell to the floor as the reality of the last three minutes crushed in on my skull. I couldn't hold down the vomit any longer.
Somewhere in the middle of the vomiting and uncontrollable sobbing, I heard the door slam open, followed by panicked yelling.
"BELLA!" Edward screamed before he even got through the doorway. I couldn't see through my strained and water filled eyes, but I heard him running through the house, getting closer and closer to me. He only paused for a second to take in the scene, before crouching down next to me.
"Are you okay, Bella? Did they hurt you?" Somehow I managed to shake my head no, answering both questions in one movement, before collapsing in to him. "I'm so sorry that it took so long to get back here. We knew that Felix was following us with the gun, and I knew that you would kill me if anything happened to Ollie, so we drove as quick as we could down the block, and I ran back. When I heard the gunshots I thought…"
Edward didn't cry often, so I knew that when he did, he really meant it. We sat in a sob filled silence until I could breathe again. As soon as I thought that I could make out a sentence, I took a shaky breath and looked up at him.
"Where is Ollie?"
Edward nodded and helped me up. I hadn't realized that while we were sitting on the floor, the police had arrived and started to process the scene. Taking a glance around the room, I just felt sick again.
By this time, Kate had driven the van closer to the house so that we didn't have to walk as far. The street was filled with police cars, and more were still arriving. As we passed one of the ambulances, the paramedics tried to stop me.
"Miss Swan, we really need to make sure that you are okay." One of the EMTs said as she tried to direct me to the back of the bus.
I just shook my head. I didn't need any doctors, I just needed to hold my son, and make sure that they hadn't harmed Hope. Pushing her away, I kept walking. When Kate stepped out with Ollie in her arms, my walk turned into a poorly constructed run. Even though it had been less than five minutes since he left my arms, it had felt like centuries. I truly thought that I would never see him again.
Sitting down in the grass with him, I took in everything. His soft scent, the impossibly smooth feel of his skin, his almost inaudible whimpers; all of it made me feel a teensy bit better. Maggie got out of the car with Hope clutching on to her for dear life. She sat down next to me, not saying a word.
"Is she okay?" I whispered. Words were still practically impossible, but I needed to know that no other innocent souls would suffer for my sins. I know that everyone would try and tell me that they weren't my sins, but after hearing why this all happened, there isn't much that anyone could say to convince me otherwise. If I wouldn't have existed, no one would have died or been hurt to save me. Charlotte wouldn't have been brutally murdered by her son, heck, if I wasn't around, Dmitri might have turned out as a normal human being. This entire thing was my fault, and I deserved to pay for it just as much as anyone else.
"She's traumatized, but physically, she is unharmed." Maggie responded. "Are you okay?"
I didn't answer; I couldn't even if I wanted to. No words would do justice the emotions coursing through my veins. The only thing holding me to the earth was my son, and now I even began to feel like it would be better for him if I wasn't around. Edward, who had been back talking to one of the paramedics or police officers, came up and crouched down next to me.
"I know you probably aren't up for it, but the police need to talk to you as soon as possible before the details leave your memory." He brushed a lock of hair out of my face and gave me a sad smile.
"You can give your statement to me, as long as there is an officer present." Kate said. Sometimes I forgot that she was more than just my friend. Even with the thought of Kate being there with me, I still didn't think that I would be able to talk about what just happened. The weight of the words he spoke, on top of the fact that I had just shot two men was too much for one person to handle. Due to my inability to respond to their statements, I just ignored them and kept on rocking my baby. By this time, Ollie was wide awake and started to squirm around in my arms. I repositioned him a few times, but he wasn't having it. He started to wail and I tried bouncing him gently, desperately trying to make him happy again. I had fed and changed him just before we arrived here, so I knew that he was just being fussy. His wild movements became too much for my exhausted limbs.
"Would you like me to take him?" Edward asked quietly. I didn't have a choice but to hand him over. As soon as he was in his arms, the crying stopped and Ollie was back to his usual happy self. Crushed, I shook my head and walked away. Even my own son didn't want me anymore. I was completely useless on this earth.
"Bella! Bella, wait!" Edward reached for my arm to stop me, but I yanked it out of his grip.
"DON'T touch me." I snapped. I didn't mean to be so harsh and cold, but by the hurt look on Edward's face as I turned around and kept walking, I knew that my words had cut deep. I only made it five steps before I was swarmed by paramedics.
"Are you okay? Is he bothering you?" One of the men asked as they ushered me into the back of the ambulance. I didn't try and resist this time. Maybe I should have just let Dmitri take me. Ollie would have grown up with an amazing family and a good life. He never would've missed me.
"No." I whispered in response to the medic's question. "He's fine."
They started shining their little lights in my eyes and throat, conducting a thorough examination despite the fact the fact that I wasn't hurt. They insisted on taking me to the hospital just to be sure, but I refused. For one, I didn't have the money for any more medical bills, and two, a hospital was not what I needed to help right now.
Getting out of the ambulance and walking towards the house, my brain was practically numb. One tiny voice in the darkest parts of my consciousness was the only thing guiding me. I walked back into the house (something that I didn't even think was possible with all of the police standing around) and straight into the living room where his body still sat, as haunting as ever. Knowing that I only had a couple of seconds before I was caught, I hurriedly grabbed the syringe that was still laying on the carpet, yanked off the cap, and held it too the crook of my arm. I usually tried not to look at the splatter of needle marks left over from fourteen years of forgetting, but now, they seemed different. Instead of dark reminders, they were beacons of hope. In two swift movements, liquid freedom would rush through my veins, and release me from the haunting realities that today uncovered. Matching the tip of the needle to one of the dots of the past, I pushed it in, the surface of my skin retracting back in recollection of what this meant. Just as I positioned my forefinger over the plunger, there was an outburst of yelling, and a pair of strong arms grabbed hold of mine.
Defeat washed over my like a tsunami wave and I crumpled in the officer's arms. There was talking and yelling, and before I knew it, I was in the back of the ambulance again, this time held down by restraints. While this would usually be at the forefront of my attention, my consciousness was still owned by that tiny voice. It reminded me over and over that I would never forget what was said to me today and the memories that came back with them; that I would never not remember how he violated my seven year old body; how he was so infatuated with being in control of me that he would sneak me back into my own room and rape me in my own bed just to show me that no matter how close I got to freedom, he would always be right there, waiting. He would double dose me on the drugs after those nights so that my chances of remembering were as obliterated as possible, that's why I didn't remember when I got home.
My body heaved with sobs as my brain ran these pictures through my head again, the restraints making the strain on my body more and more prevalent. Eventually, my splotchy vision gave way, and I was submerged into blackness.
Thank you guys for reading. I know that a lot of things that take place do so in ways that aren't really very realistic, but that's why it's fiction, right? I'm trying to keep it as accurate as possible, but let's be honest, in real life this whole story would be 7000% different. Thank you for sticking with me through all of this, and I hope you are enjoying it. Please review and let me know what you guys want to happen next. If I don't get any ideas, I am really considering just flashing forward for a few chapters and then ending it. It has been almost two years since I published this story, and I am running low on plot points. I will do my best to keep it alive for as long as possible, but I need your help!