Summary: (BM/WW Wedding-fic) When Batman finally gathers the courage to ask Wonder Woman to marry him, the Dark Knight gets more than he bargained for when the entire League decided to pitch in and help plan their impending nuptials – contains fluff, random humour, a temperamental Amazon princess, drunken bachelor-party escapades, and various attempts on Superman's life!
A/N: I know I'm a horrible person. But can you blame me? I've been a very busy goddess... and, as of a week ago, a goddess with her first degree in English behind her name. That's right - I graduated! It took six months longer than I anticipated, but I survived the vicious onslaught of study and assignment and I'm going to try and catch up with my writing.
Anyway, before we start for real - people, PLEASE, I beg you all, this story is categorized under HUMOUR, as in, not to be taken so seriously. It's worth reminding you all that I'm writing about a bunch of guys who go around flying, saving the world every week by throwing batarangs at bad guys in brightly coloured tights. So, if you ask 'why', 9/10 times I will respond with 'because I can'. We've only got like... 3 more chapters left anyway.
Besides, like one of my reviewers said in the previous chapter, it not a superhero wedding unless something explodes.
So, to any of you die-hard fan-boys out there: Hakuna Matata. To everyone else who's reviewed and added this story to their favourites and follows, bless you all! This story wouldn't have been half as fun without all of you supporting it!
[REWRITTEN: [FEB 2017- redid the last part as promised - have included witnesses and several new lines of dialogue!]
Disclaimer: DC Comics owns everything, including, but not limited to, my soul... (kidding, kidding...)
Bridezillas & Kryptonite
~Chapter Seventeen~
Part Two
The Wedding:
Plights, Fights & Vows
Diana was only vaguely aware of the ensuing chaos that had erupted all around her, a part of her mind having gone blank as she stared at the empty space where Bruce had been standing barely heartbeats previously.
She then felt a hand on her shoulder, shaking her back to reality. "Di!" Shayera exclaimed, her voice finally snapping the Amazon out of her daze, "Diana!"
When she met her eyes, Diana saw the same bewildered surprise and unmistakeable edge of fear mirrored on the Thanagarian's face. Looking around the, she saw that most of the guests who hadn't fled already, was standing around staring up at the sky, some gobsmacked, others confused, and in the case of the remaining Green Lanterns, with equal part apprehension and recognition.
Just as Diana could dwell of this, her head shot up when she heard that same electric hum from before.
With one last look at Shayera, they shared a nod, but just as they made to take off, Hal stopped them. "Wait!" he spluttered, blocking the way up as he moved in front of them, his suit surrounded by a green glow. "Wait, wait, wait! Hold on, there's been a huge mix up! This isn't what it looks like!"
Diana stared up at him incredulously. "Hal?"
"Crap, this- Look, I know it seems pretty bad right now, but trust me, there's a perfectly... logical explanation here... you know, somewhere in this." He said, gesturing hastily at Guy and Kyle who then took off and made their way to the front of the ship, which was still looming over the Manor in a distinctively ominous way.
With a few brisk strokes of her wings, Shayera flew up to him. "What are you talking about?" she demanded, poking him in the chest when she saw close enough. "You've got about ten seconds to tell me what's going on or so help me, I'm getting my mace and handling this situation myself - this dress be damned!"
Hal held up his hands in surrender. "I get it and I would totally tell you everything if I could." He said, backing away slightly out of fear for his own wellbeing, "But, since I'm a little sketchy on the details myself, I might need to get back to you on that."
Diana joined them then in the air. "Hal, please - are the others... are they safe?" she asked, the anxiety clear in her voice.
"That's what I'm about to find out." He said, and seeing the look on her face, briefly reaching out and squeezed her hands. "You just sit tight for a minute, okay? Like I said, this really isn't what it looks like - we'll get this mess sorted out and we'll get Bruce and the others back in one piece. But you got to trust me to do my job, okay?"
She wasn't happy about this, but relented with a nod and a concerned frown.
Hal squeezed her hands one more time before shooting up after the other Lanterns.
...Unfortunately for Hal, any 'talks' that were to be had were neither productive nor insightful by any stretch of the imagination, whatsoever.
"What do you mean 'no'?" Kyle asked absurdly, staring in wide-eyed bewilderment, both he and Guy facing the front of the ship.
The response from the intercom was a snarl and series of unintelligible growls their rings translated as a clear rebuttal.
Guy wasn't having any of it. "Hey, look, pal, we've just been over this with you - you got civilians in there. Let 'em go and we'll figure something out before this causes a riot, a bigger one."
The answering growl was as much another refusal as it was a taunt.
An angry flush found its way on the redheaded Lantern's neck and cheeks. "Yeah? How about a giant green fist to the teeth? Would that make you change your mind?"
The huffing growl had a mocking edge to it, and it was then when Guy realized he was being laughed at.
"That does it - come out here and say that to my face!" he challenged, his ring flaring up to emphasise his point.
Hal arrived just in time to see Kyle get between Guy, holding the other Lantern back as he shouted obscenities at the spaceship.
"What the hell...?" the space-cop said, flying up to the other men.
"They're not listening," Kyle said, giving Hal an exasperated look. "They said they're not going to let them go until they reach an agreement."
Hal rubbed his face with his hands. "Of course they're not..." he said. "Just tell me one thing - are we being invaded or not?"
A look passed between Kyle and Guy.
"Well..."
Hal groaned.
Back on the ground, Diana and Shayera waited impatiently until they noticed the familiar green streak against the sky, coming towards them.
"There he is," Diana said, flying up and met the Green Lantern halfway as Shayera trailed behind. "Hal! What happened?"
"Never mind that," Shayera said abruptly, "what about the others? Could you figure something out?"
Hal looked between the two women before rubbing the back of his neck. "Kind of..."
"What do you mean 'kind of'?"
"Do you want the good news or bad news?" When neither woman responded, he grimaced. "O-kay then... the good news is, we're not being invaded for once- you know, maybe."
"Maybe?" Shayera repeated incredulously.
"And the bad news?" Diana pressed.
"It might take a while to convince them to release the others." He admitted.
"How long?"
"Well..."
"Hal!"
Meanwhile...
When Bruce came back to, he found himself on the ground with his ears ringing and feeling like he'd just been kicked in the head.
"Give him some space," he heard someone say before he felt a hand on his upper arm. "C'mon, big guy, up and at 'em."
Bruce grimaced and clutched at his head as he was helped onto his feet. "Oliver?"
The archer let out a short laugh. "Well good morning to you too, sunshine."
"What the hell happened? Where-?"
"Don't ask me, I don't have a clue what's going on. There was a big light show and the next thing I knew, here we are!"
Bruce looked around and saw that the four of them were in a small, enclosed cell with the only way out blocked by a red energy barrier.
Once he was back to standing in his own two feet, Clark looked at him in concern, "Are you okay?"
"I will be once we get out of here," he said before noticing the look that passed between Clark and John and narrowed his eyes. "...What?"
"That... may not be for some time." John admitted with a grimace.
"Why?"
"You remember that diplomacy mission in outer space Clark and I went on a few weeks ago?"
"Vaguely..." Bruce said slowly, not liking where this was going.
"Well, long story short, this ship belongs to one of the alien races we helped." He explained, walking to the barrier.
Bruce went to stand next to him. "So it the red lights you wanted me to look at came from this?"
The Lantern nodded. "It looks like it."
"Are we being attacked?"
"No. If I had to take a guess, I'd say this is just the scout ship. If we were being attacked, they would have sent their armada."
Clark frowned at him. "But what do they want with us? I thought they reached an agreement. We were there when they signed the peace treaty."
John sighed heavily. "I don't know, but I don't think this is an invasion."
"I hope you're right." Bruce said grimly.
"Bruce," John began, "Look, man - I'm sorry about this."
He looked ahead of himself, and, evenly, "It's not your fault, John."
"The timing just..."
"Sucks." Bruce finished bluntly and left it there.
For several minutes, a heavy silence hung over the men like a storm cloud.
"...How are we getting out?" Oliver asked eventually.
"I wouldn't suggest we try." Clark said wryly. "The barrier's made out of pure energy, not even I can get through it."
"And punching a hole through the wall would be... what? Too easy?"
The Man of Steel arched a brow, amused. "I don't think the owners of the ship would like that very much."
The archer huffed. "Yeah, well, screw them."
"He's got a point, Oliver." John sighed, reaching into the side pocket of his tuxedo. "We don't know what they want, and if we leave now, we might make things worse. Let's just wait for a while and see what happens."
Oliver stared at him in disbelief. "And if that doesn't work?"
John gave him an even look back, smiling slightly when he pulled out his Power Ring and slid it on his finger. "Then we go to town on this place."
On the ground...
The number of reporters, news vans and camera crews had steadily multiplied as the scene by the main gates was reminiscent of a city under siege, and by the time Dick, Jason and Donna got there, the security team hired for the wedding barely seemed to be coping with keeping the hoard from scaling the walls.
"Oh, this is just perfect," Dick groaned, pinching the bridge of his nose.
"This has got to be every station in the city, at least," Donna said incredulously. "I don't even recognize some of the others."
Jason snorted. "Yeah, well stop staring at them and let's work on getting them to leave."
"Easier said than done, Jaybird." Dick said humourlessly before looking at Donna. "Do you think you can get a few of your mom's warriors out here, Don? We need all the help we can get out here."
The younger Amazon nodded. "I'll see what I can do."
When she left, Jason turned to his brother. "So that's your plan? Have a couple of tall chicks wave swords and spears at the Press and hope for the best?"
Dick gave him a flat stare back. "I don't see you coming up with something better."
He held up his hands. "Hey, don't get me wrong, love the idea, just wish I thought of it first."
"I'm hoping it'll get the point across."
"...That was just pathetic, Grayson."
Dick rolled his eyes but didn't say anything else until they walked up to the gate. However, when they were recognized, there was a sudden near-frenzy as all eyes and cameras abruptly turned to them.
"Mr Grayson! Mr Grayson! Dick, are the rumours true?" one of the reporters shouted. "Is it true there has been an abduction?"
"Yeah! And is it true your dad's one of those taken?"
"No comment." Dick said calmly, ignoring the camera flashes
"Ah, c'mon, don't give us that! We've got a right to know what's going on!"
"He said no comment," Jason snapped. "Now get the hell off our property or we're calling the cops."
"Like that's going to happen!"
"And never mind the cops - at this rate someone should be calling the National Guard! Who's handling the situation?"
"Is it an invasion? Have the aliens asked for anything?"
"What is the League doing about this? Did they know this would happen?"
At that point, none of them could make out a word anyone was saying as the questions overlapped and drowned out one another.
Dick groaned rubbed his temples. "Maybe coming out here this wasn't such a great idea."
"What was your first clue?" Jason said, deadpan.
"What does Wonder Woman have to say about this?"
"And is she available for a quote?"
"Is the wedding cancelled?"
Like one, all the attention turned onto Dick, and it took a considerable amount of self-control not to snap at someone.
"No comment." He said through clenched teeth.
This set off another round of questions, and it wasn't until Donna returned with a dozen or so Amazons at her side and took his hand that Dick eventually turned and went back to the house.
Elsewhere...
When he heard sound of footsteps echoing down the hall, Bruce stopped his pacing and turned towards the energy barrier. John, who'd been half-leaning against the opposing wall, noticed this and straightened up.
Oliver snorted none-too delicately. "It's about time." He said as he and Clark stood up from the ground.
They'd been sitting there for more than an hour with nothing to do other than watching Bruce stalk around the cell, so it was safe to say the archer wasn't too happy.
As for Bruce himself, to his credit, the only visible sign that betrayed the irritation he felt was the thin line on his lips and the obvious tension in his posture. When he felt Clark's hand on his shoulder, he breathed out through his nose and nodded tersely.
A massive, hulking figure, standing at least two feet taller than even Clark and covered head-to-toe in plated armour, appeared in front of the cell as the barrier lowered. The little of its face that was visible looked like something that came out of a cheap fantasy novel as it had large tusk-like teeth and pale green skin.*
It spoke in a series of low, gruff growls. John listened carefully and nodded along to whatever it was the alien was saying as his ring glowed, translating the words for him.
Once it had finished, it stepped aside and gestured for them to follow. John and Clark went calmly enough while Bruce eyed the spear in its hand warily as he and Oliver trailed behind.
"Where are we going now?" Oliver asked in a loud whisper.
Before anyone could answer him, they reached the end of the winding hallway and arrived at a large, circular pad similar to the teleportation bay in the Watchtower. The alien grunted at John and stepped aside, and they took it as a sign to get on.
Several moments and a bright white light later, the four of them and their large chaperone found themselves in a well-lit room. They weren't alone as they saw Hal standing in front of a pair of massive sliding doors, talking to a shorter, dog-faced alien standing barely four feet tall.
When it noticed their arrival, it nearly fell over itself walking up to John. "Green Lantern! You and your companions have my sincerest apologies for this dreadful inconvenience." It said with a computerized voice, the bracelet on its wrist flashing. "I don't know if you remember me, but my name is Ambassador Zeek - we met briefly at the previous negotiations?"
John nodded. "Don't worry, I remember you, Ambassador."
Though there was little to no change on the little alien's inherently stoic face, its droopy eyes brightened somewhat. "Good! Now, like I was just telling your fellow Lantern here, we wouldn't have involved you at all so soon under normal circumstances, but recent events have forced our hand."
A look passed between the two space-cops before John turned back to the Ambassador. "That's okay," he said diplomatically, ignoring the annoyed glare Bruce shot him. "What happened?"
"Why don't you ask him?" Zeek snapped, narrowing its eyes at the guard behind them.
The taller alien let out a threatening growl and a series of harsh grunts.
Zeek pointed at it accusingly. "Don't you dare try and shift the blame, you brute! This whole mess would have been avoided if you had just kept your promise!"
The guard's hand inclined towards its weapon before Hal stepped between them purposely.
"Ambassador, maybe we should move the argument inside?" he suggested.
Both aliens reluctantly agreed and lead them towards the sliding door.
"Is it me, or does the little guy look really familiar?" Oliver asked in a loud whisper as they followed the Ambassador and Lanterns inside.
Stepping into a large circular meeting room - Kyle and Guy were there already, standing in the middle while an invisible line divided the two alien races, the tension and hostility within the room tangible as both sides glared at one another. The larger aliens to the left openly clutched at their weapons as the smaller aliens on the right had their hands inclined towards formidable looking space-guns they had on the tables in front of them.
Oliver, for some reason, froze in his tracks when he looked to the right and saw Zeek's people.
"Oh my god..." he said, wide-eyed once the realization dawned on him.
"Ollie?" Hal asked.
"I finally know why they look so familiar - they look like Whos!"
Clark stared at him in confusion. "What?"
"Oh, c'mon - Whos. You know, Dr. Seuss, The Grinch who Stole Christmas, the little people who live on the inside of a snowflake with the weird-ass hair and dog faces?"
The Kryptonian's shoulders slumped awkwardly. "I don't think they'd appreciate the comparison, Oliver..."
The archer was unrepentant. "Whatever, man. All I want to know is where I can get one. Dinah would flip."
On the other side of the room, one of the tall aliens let out a series of conversational growls before nodding in apparent approval.
"What did he say?" Oliver ask, looking at Hal.
The Lantern coughed awkwardly. "He, er... he said he could cut you a deal if you're still interested later."
As soon as the words left his mouth, there was a sudden uproar among the negotiators as half of the room stood up abruptly in outrage, shaking their fists in the air and yelling shrilly in their native language at the other half who then responded likewise.
John facepalmed and groaned. "You just had to say something..."
At the Manor...
When she got to the front door, Diana turned towards the Gordons who she'd walked out.
"I'm sorry that I can't stay and help with the clean up," Jim said apologetically. "But I just got a call from the station, and somebody's got to convince them the damn world isn't ending... Again."
She smiled weakly at the older man. "I just appreciate that you came, Jim."
"I'll come back once I drop my dad off." Barbara said when she passed her. "Don't worry - it'll turn out alright, you'll see."
Diana said nothing but nodded in thanks and watched the Gordons head towards their car. Once both Barbara and her father had finally left, Diana closed the door behind them and sighed.
Hal had been vague, but after he assured everyone that it wasn't the beginning of another alien invasion, he and the other Lanterns left to sort out the mess with the promise to let them know if the situation changed. Until then, all that was left was to wait and see what happened next.
Returning to the reception area, Diana frowned as she took it in the sight in front of her. It was starting to get dark already, and with nearly all the non-League guests gone, the back garden looked oddly empty now - chairs were knocked over, flowers lay strewn and trampled on the ground, and even though they denied it, those who stayed kept looking at her like they expected her to go off at any second.
Not that it was tempting of course, but she'd decided to hold off punching anything until she found out more about what was going on.
Nearby, her wedding planner wasn't nearly as composed as she was, and had his head on his assistant's shoulder as she stroked his hair.
"It was perfect." Patterson said mournfully. "This was supposed to be our shot at the big leagues."
"I know." She said patiently.
"We should have been sipping on champagne, dancing the Macarena and exchanging numbers with some hotel heiress and her entourage by now..."
"I know, Jac, I know..."
When she saw Diana looking at them, Margret smiled at her apologetically before she helped the man on his feet and lead him back into the Manor, passing Dick and Lois as they did.
Noticing the downtrodden look on Patterson's face, a look passed between the reporter and vigilante before they walked up to the Amazon.
"Diana," Dick said, "I just talked to your mom, and she said she's got the situation at the gate under control. She's got her warriors patrolling the ground with security, so I don't think any reporters are getting in any time soon."
She nodded gratefully. "Thank you, Dick."
"How are you holding, Di?" Lois asked, concerned. When all she got was miserable look back, she had her answer and winced. "Right... stupid question. But, seriously, you've been scary quiet since all of this happened. Are you okay?"
"Physically, I'm fine, but otherwise..." She said and looked away. "Today could have gone better."
Dick snorted. "No kidding. But you know it'll turn out okay, right? I mean, this is Bruce we're talking about. He's not going to let anything stop him from marrying you."
She smiled slightly. "I know."
"Have you hear anything from Hal yet?" Lois asked.
"No, not yet." She admitted.
The reported raised an eyebrow. "Is that's a good thing?"
"He said he'd let us know if the situation changes, but other than that, I'm not sure."
Before anyone could say anything else, they saw Wally walk up to them - he looked grim for some reason, and Diana's heart dropped.
"Wally?"
"Hey, Wondy," he said quietly, and she knew something was wrong, "So, listen, I hate to do this, but we just got a call from Watchtower and something came up."
"What happened?" she asked immediately.
"There was an fire on an oil rig somewhere over the North Sea - it looks pretty bad, and they're not sure how many people are still on it. I'm really sorry about this."
Diana waved him down. "Wally, I understand."
He smiled apologetically. "A few of us are going over there and get those people out of there and make sure nothing explodes. Arthur's pretty worried about it too, so he's tagging along. I don't know how long that might take, but we'll be back as soon as we can, okay?"
She nodded. "Go, and be careful."
"Thanks, and we will." He promised, giving her a quick hug before he left.
Almost literally, moments later, a different kind of light in the sky caught her attention, and when she turned her head, Diana's brows knitted together when she saw the Bat Signal in the distance.
She heard Dick swear under his breath before he turned to her.
"Diana-" he began.
She didn't let him finish. "Go."
He must have heard the edge in her voice, so instead of apologizing, he nodded curtly and went to find his brothers.
Once he was gone, Diana turned and walked up the aisle towards the altar. Catching sight of her bouquets on the ground where it had been dropped earlier, she picked it up and frowned as the white lilies seemed to have been stepped on at one point - their discoloured petals ripped and limp and their stalks broken.
Sighing softly, she set the flowers down again gently just as Lois walked up behind her.
"I need some time on my own." She said, startling the reporter.
Before Lois could respond to this, Diana flew up and off without another word.
With the Green Lanterns...
It took every ouch of Hal's not inconsiderable amount of willpower not to ram his head against the nearest flat surface in frustration.
They'd been standing there and talking in circles for over four hours and so far, the only thing they'd succeeded in doing was give him a headache.
It turned out the peace treaty between the two aliens, the larger Grax and the smaller Skareet, had been violated.
The Grax were a warrior race that had a nasty habit of going around conquering things and who's idea of a good time included stabbing things with their giant spears and flexing their impressive muscles that made anyone in the immediate vicinity self-conscious of themselves. As for the Skareet, despite their size, were highly intelligent and were known for their weapons.
This would have been all well and awesome, really, if it wasn't for the slight inconvenience that the Grax been enslaving the Skareet for years. Tensions between the two of them had been running high until, like these things tended to go, it reached its limit.
Long story short, the treaty the Green Lanterns had helped set up was meant to prevent any further hostility between the two races. The agreement was simple enough - the Grax would free the slaves and stop being tools around the little guys, and the Skareet would give them limited access to their weapons... and maybe not use the larger race as target practice.
The aliens signed the treaty without too much bloodshed, and John and Clark went back home without any complaints. It was all great... that is until the Grax backed out, conveniently 'forgot' to let their slaves go and went ahead and took the weapons anyway.
The entire treaty needed to be revaluated and the issues addressed, and the Green Lanterns were expected to play the peacekeepers... again.
As for why John, Bruce and the others were taken in the first place... Well, that was another story entirely.
John told him about the 'red lights' that he had Bruce investigate for him, and it turned out that the lights came from the ship as it scoured the world looking for a Lantern without any real success. Since Bruce and Diana's wedding was shown pretty much everywhere, it was only expected that several of its superhero guests had been broadcasted too. The aliens caught wind of it, recognized John and decided to pick him (and by extension, anyone around him) up in style.
It was Hal's honest opinion that they could have just called first.
What was worse was the fact that none of them were allowed to leave until the mess had been cleared up. So, needless to say, Bruce wasn't happy about it, at all.
Not that Hal didn't sympathise with the poor bastard, but if the glares he occasionally shot anyone who came within five feet of him was any indication, the billionaire was nearing the end of his patience - something, as any thug in Gotham who had ever pissed off the Bat could tell you, was a very bad idea.
As for the others, since all four Lanterns were there, Clark had decided to sit this one out while Oliver was discreetly trying to take photos of the Skareet his cell phone.
When he felt John nudge him in the ribs, Hal was forced to pay attention to the latest argument in a string of pointless arguments.
"-You knew exactly what was required of you!" Zeek barked, more or less standing on his chair as he glared at the Grax's leader. "You went back on your word - took what did not belong to you-!"
The leader, a Grax 'chieftain' that stood taller than the rest of them, with bigger tusks and a name that was almost made up exclusively out of hard consonants, snarled at the little alien, it's massive muscles bulging as it crossed its arms over its chest.
Zeek's face darkened with anger as the other negotiators actually bared their teeth at the other side. "We should have known better than to negotiate with barbarians." The Ambassador sneered, "It seems the only thing any of you simpletons understand is war. But if that's what it takes to free our people and be rid of your idiocy, so be it!"
This nearly caused a riot as the Grax all stood up, the growls almost deafening as several held up their weapons almost as if they wanted to lunge forward and attack the other side if it wasn't for the green barrier that suddenly appeared in front of them.
"Alright, alright!" Guy said loudly over the racket, as he and Kyle stepped up between the aliens, "Knock it off!"
"This isn't working," Kyle said through his clenched teeth.
The redhead snorted. "Tell me about it, kid."
John and Hal exchanged a look before they turned to Zeek.
"You need to calm down, Ambassador," John said, "You're not thinking straight."
"Oh, I'm perfectly aware of what I'm doing." The little alien said decisively. "My words may be brash, Green Lantern, but they are no less true!"
"Look, going to war's a pretty big step." Hal said hastily. "There's got to be a way to work this out."
Zeek huffed. "Then why don't you ask him?" he said, pointing at the Grax chieftain. "You see if you can get anything out of him, but until these- these cretins honour their agreement, there will be no peace!"
The urge to ram his head against the nearest flat surface came back with a vengeance.
Hal rubbed his temples. "Well, I'm out - John, do you want to take this one?"
John just rolled his eyes but turned and walked up to the chieftain.
"There's got to be something that'll make you change your mind," he said quietly, going over to stand in front of the large alien.
The chieftain regarded the Lantern unblinkingly for a solid minute before it stood up and let out a short series of grunts loud enough only for John to hear.
When it was done, the Marine blinked. "You're kidding."
The alien shook its head and pointed over to Zeek, made a thumping gesture with its fist and palm, and then pointed back at itself. At John's incredulous stare, the chieftain jutted its chin defiantly and growled.
"And you're sure that's the only way?"
The chieftain made an affirmative grunt, a hint of a confident smirk on its mouth.
John thought this over before turning back to Zeek.
"Green Lantern?" the Ambassador asked.
"There... might be a way to solve your problem." John began. "Apparently, there's a... test you could take."
"What kind of test?" Hal asked, already getting a bad feeling about this.
"He'll agree to everything in the treaty, let all of the Ambassador's people go and give back all the weapons they took... if they can challenge him, and win without using their weapons."
It took a minute, but when he realized what 'challenged' meant, Hal's eyes widened. "Wait, are you saying he want one of them to... fight him?" he said slowly. "Is he blind?"
"But- but- this is outrageous!" the Ambassador spluttered, his face draining of colour. "How do you expect any one of us to match them in unarmed combat? It would be suicide-!" he then stopped himself. "Unless... You! One of you could fight for us!"
"What?" Both Lanterns said at once.
"Oh please!" Zeek begged, "You can see for yourself we're ill-equipped, and I'm certainly no fighter. What chance do any of my people stand against one of those hulking brutes?"
As much as Hal hated to admit it, the little guy had a point.
"We'll have to talk about it," John said, dragging Hal to the side.
The little alien nodded. "Please hurry!"
Once they were out of earshot, Hal grimaced. "Remind me again why we're not just letting them do this themselves? This just seems like more trouble than it's worth."
John gave him a flat, unimpressed stare in way of an answer and Hal sighed.
"Don't look at me like that, you were thinking it too."
When they caught Oliver waving them over, they went to them.
"Hey, what was that all about?" the archer asked.
"The Ambassador's been challenged to fight the big guy." Clark said helpfully. When he saw the looks the other gave him, the Kryptonian shrugged apologetically. "Sorry - super-hearing."
"Seriously?" Oliver said disbelievingly. "You're not actually going to let him do that, right? He'd get crushed."
"Of course not." John said before Hal could answer. "Zeek wants one of us to fight for him."
"Is that allowed?" Clark asked.
"There isn't really a second option here, Big Blue." Hal said wryly.
Clark frowned, but before anyone could say anything else, Bruce surprised them by stepping forward.
"I'll do it." He said dismissively, loosening the bowtie around his neck before pulling it off entirely and tossed it aside.
"Are you sure?" John asked.
The look Bruce gave him made it abundantly clear just how sure he really was.
Oliver put his hand on the Lantern's shoulder. "I think he's got this one, John."
"But-"
"He's got it." He said again, nodding at Bruce who gave a curt nod back and walked back with the Lanterns.
When Zeek saw them, he looked between the men hopefully. "Well? Have you come to a decision, Green Lantern?"
"Yeah, we have." Hal said, "Our friend here is going to help you out."
"Oh, thank you! Thank you! But... er, you can fight, yes?" he asked, suddenly nervous but went quiet when he saw the look in Bruce's eyes.
When they turned back to the Grax and told the chieftain spared Bruce one look before he, as well as the rest of his entourage, suddenly busted out laughing.
Hal caught the involuntary twitch that had developed at the corner of Bruce's mouth, and he suddenly felt a twang of genuine pity for the alien.
The others must have noticed the same thing.
"That's not going to end well." Oliver said over the gruff laughter.
Zeek perked up anxiously. "What?"
The archer waved him down. "Cool your jets, Droopy, I meant for the other guy." he reassured. "Trust me, this won't take long."
The Ambassador's furry brows knitted together in confusion. "...Droopy?"
Bruce shrugged off his tuxedo jacket and tossed it at John who then caught it in one hand as the chieftain made its way down to the open platform where the Lanterns and Bruce were standing.
With the smirk from before still firmly on place, the large alien eyed the billionaire up and down as the others moved to give the two of them space.
Bruce, in turn, simply rolled up his sleeves, turned to the alien and narrowed his eyes, cracking his knuckles as he rolled back his shoulders.
Somewhere, Hal could have sworn he heard the bell used in a boxing ring.
The Grax moved first and lunged at him only to meet thin air as Bruce sidestepped him with ease.
When the alien came at him again and again, he simply ducked and evaded its blow with a bored expression on his face. If anything, this seemed to annoy the chieftain, but, no matter how much it tried, it couldn't get a swing in.
An awed kind of silence fell over the Skareet as they watched on, Zeek's eyes widening when they noticed the larger alien's face darken in exertion and irritation.
What happened next happened fast - it was fast, over all too soon, and probably one of the more cooler things Hal had ever witnessed.
When the chieftain finally lost its patience entirely, Bruce saw his opening and delivered a swift kick to its side, further ticking it off. As it swung at him again, Bruce faked right, ducked left, swirled around and kicked the back of its knee, actually making it stumble forward.
Before the alien knew what hit it, Bruce came at it - hard. Without giving it a chance to recover, landing several kicks and punches before it even had a chance to retaliate.
It never did as Bruce, apparently already fed up with the fight, did a complicated move where he managed to get it into a headlock when it lost its footing again and forced it onto its knees.
He only loosened his grip when the large alien stopped struggling and tapped his arm as a sign of surrender.
Stepping away from the alien as it tried to get its breath back, Bruce barely seemed winded when turned and marched over to John without a second glance at the astonished faces all around him.
"Are we done here?"
After leaving Hal , Guy and Kyle, to deal with a gushing Zeek, when he finally had a opportunity to speak, John managed to talk the Ambassador to give the others a lift back to the ground.
While they were being escorted to a ship that would take them back to the mansion, John took the time to call the Shayera with Oliver's phone.
He barely had to wait before she picked up.
"Shayera?"
"John!" she exclaimed. "We haven't heard anything for hours! Are you okay? What's happening up there? Where are you now? Are the others-"
The Marine smiled slightly at his wife's obvious concern and calmed her down. "We're alright, Angel - we managed to get everything settled. We're on our way back now."
The relief was obvious in her voice. "Thank god! Is Bruce there? Someone's got to tell him that Diana hasn't come back yet."
"Back?" Bruce said sharply.
Shayera snorted. "Well, I'm glad to hear you're still alive." She said dryly. "And yeah, she left a few hours ago."
He ignored her. "What happened? Is she-"
"She's fine, she left to clear her head but just hasn't come back yet."
Bruce let out a soft sigh of relief before, "Where is she?"
Meanwhile...
Diana sat at the edge of the rooftop, hugging her knees to her chest as she looked at Gotham City from across the bay. Still in her dress, her hair was loose as the dozen or so flowers that had been woven in lay next to her sandals.
She left the Manor to get away from the others' pitying looks, and when she passed over, the quiet drew her in and she found the first tallest building, and had stayed there since.
She was in an older, less modern neighbourhood with less light, less noise and less of a possibility of anyone finding her. Shayera had gone after her so she knew where she was, and had promised to keep her updated with any new changes.
So far, the only news the Thanagarian had brought her was that Wally, Arthur and the others had returned safely from their rescue mission on oil rig, but this was over an hour ago.
Turning her face up towards the moon, Diana closed her eyes when she felt the slight breeze against her skin and breathed in. For several minutes, she was content to just stay in the position she was in and listen to the sounds of city in the distance, until, quite suddenly, she heard the same humming as before.
Her breath caught, and she didn't dare hope-
A moment later, she saw the shadow of a ship against the night sky and was on her feet the next. Then, in a beam of red light and a sound like a gunshot, she gasped when Bruce materialized barely several feet away from her. His tuxedo jacket and bowtie were missing and his hair was dishevelled, but despite looking only slightly worse for wear he was unharmed.
He looked up and watched as the ship took off again, but, when he turned around and saw her, Bruce barely had time to open his mouth when Diana closed the distance between them and threw her arms around him.
Much to his own credit, Bruce caught himself before he could stumble back by the force of her embrace, and once he realized what was happening, he pulled her closer without a moment's hesitation.
They stood there for a long while in complete silence. Diana moved her hand over his chest, over his heart and clutched his shirt, laying her head against his shoulder as Bruce began pressing kisses to the side of her neck and focused on holding her tight.
He then cupped her face in his hand and smiled one of those rare unguarded smiles of his that never failed to make her feel warm from head to toes.
She closed her eyes and met him halfway when he lowered his head slightly and kissed her, snaking her arms around his neck to deepen it until the need to breathe became necessary.
"I've been waiting all day to do that." Bruce said breathlessly as he pressed his forehead against hers.
"That makes two of us..." She murmured. "But just so you know, after this, I'm not letting you out of my sight ever again, Bruce Wayne."
"I can live with that."
She pulled her head back, narrowing her eyes at him. "I'm serious."
"So am I." He said, letting his hand drop so that he could take hers, raising it up to his lips and kissed her fingertips.
She smiled despite herself, but, once the reality of their situation sunk in, it faltered and she turned her head away. "Today did not turn out like I expected." She said softly.
"No, it didn't." He agreed. "But if it's in a day or in a year, we can get married anytime you want, Diana. We can wait."
"I know we could, but today..." She sighed. "Today was meant to be ours. Yours and mine - it was meant to be special for us, and now it just feels like it was all for nothing."
Bruce didn't respond at first until, right then, they heard a church bell chime nearby as the clock struck eleven.
As it did, something lit in his eyes. "Or maybe not."
She noticed this immediately. "Bruce?"
"Marry me." He said suddenly.
"What?"
"Marry me. Right now." He said again, walking up to her, putting his hands on her shoulders as he looked straight into her eyes. "Trust me. The day's not over yet."
She hesitated at first. "Bruce..."
"There is a way if we hurry." He said before he laid his hands on her shoulders and looked straight into her eyes. "Diana, Princess, I love you - will you marry me?"
When she looked into his eyes, she could see he was telling the truth, and when she reached up to cup his face in her hands, a slow smile spread over her face.
"I love you too. Yes." She said and kissed him again, pulling back with a laugh. "Yes! A thousand times yes! Do you even need to ask?"
"Then come with me."
"Where are we going?"
He grinned. "Some things are just done better the old fashioned way."
At the Manor...
Alfred busied himself tending to the remaining guests and returning heroes. Luckily, aside from a few scrapes and bruises and the occasional burn, there were no lasting damages.
To add to the good news, he'd just received word that Dick and the rest of the boys had returned - despite the chaos from earlier, the city was cam and the issue that had called them out in the first place had been resolved.
The butler left the main living area and just started on the stairs when he felt his phone vibrate in his pocket. When he saw on the caller-ID who it was, the tension he wasn't even aware he had left his shoulders.
"Bruce," he answered, the relief obvious in his voice. "Thank heavens you've finally called. Are you alright? Where are you?"
The response on the other side was gruff and oddly rushed. "We're fine, Alfred."
"We?" He happened to look up just in time to see Dick arrive at the top of the stairs.
The younger man gave him a curious look before mouthing 'Bruce' at him, coming over to him.
Alfred nodded and turned his attention back to the call.
"I'm with Diana," he said shortly, "Listen, Alfred, how fast can you get to where I am?"
"That would depend where you are, sir."
"The Bay Area - we're in front of the stone church."
"In the old neighbourhood? I - Well, let me see... I suppose if I hurry, I could be there in fifteen minutes. Do you want me to pick you up?"
"Not exactly, but I do want you to hurry over here."
Alfred blinked in surprise until something clicked.
"Then I'll be there right away, but may I ask what this is about?"
"No time to explain. Diana wants to talk to you too."
"Very well." He said and waited patiently as he heard Bruce hand over the phone. "Miss Diana?"
"Alfred, I know this is strange but if it's not too much trouble, could you bring my mother and sister with you, please? I promise we'll explain everything when you get here."
"Of course, Miss. We'll be there shortly." And with that, the call ended and Alfred turned back to Dick.
"Everything okay, Alfie?"
The Englishman smiled mysteriously. "I think it will be, Master Grayson... more so, I believe it'll better."
With Bruce and Diana...
Eyeing his watch, Bruce wasn't aware he was tapping his foot until he felt Diana squeeze his hand.
"They'll be here," she reassured. "Have patience, my love."
"They're late."
"They'll be here." She said again, keeping her eyes fixed on the street.
Bruce looked at his watch again. "...We should go."
"Wait."
"Diana-"
She gave him an pointed look and held firm even as he tried to turn. "Bruce, wait. Look."
Sure enough, as Bruce followed her line of sight, he saw a pair of headlights first and eventually a familiar sleek Bentley drive up the dark street.
When the car came to a halt, it was Dick who got out of the driver's seat.
"Really, Richard-" they heard Alfred say sternly as the younger man moved around the car and opened the passenger door for him with a grin.
"Hey, if I let you drive, we'd probably still be in the driveway at the Manor." He teased.
The Englishman snorted delicately. "Now that's just a gross exaggeration." He huffed, walking around to the back and opened the door, offering his hand to the Queen as she made to get out.
Hippolyta accepted the gesture and stood up straight before she turned her head and saw them standing by the church.
"Diana..." she said, sounding relieved.
"Mother." Diana said, smiling. "I'm glad you're here, all of you. We both are."
"You asked us to come," Donna said. "But what's going on? Why are we here? Alfred didn't say."
"There isn't time for that," Bruce said curtly. "We need to move."
Despite his raised eyebrow, there was something in Alfred's eyes. "And why exactly would we need to be moving at all, Master Bruce?" he asked as they followed Bruce and Diana up the stone steps leading to the church.
Bruce gave him a sideways look before he turned back and knocked against the large wooden double doors.
"Bruce-" Dick began.
He didn't say anything until he heard footsteps on the other side. They heard the door being unlocked and when it opened, an elderly man stuck his head out.
The man did a double take when he saw Diana's dress and blinked owlishly behind a pair of thick, horn-rimmed glasses at the group of people standing outside before he seemed to catch himself.
"Yes? May I help you?"
"Are you the priest here?" Bruce asked abruptly before noticing that he was wearing a pair of red plaid slippers.
The old man regarded him carefully before nodding. "My name is Father Henry Klein, and yes this is my church."
"We're sorry for bothering you so late, but it's important." Diana said, smiling apologetically. "May we come in?"
The priest looked unsure for a minute until, eventually, he nodded and opened the door further, standing aside as he tightened the knot of his blue robe. "Yes, of course - come in, come in," he said, ushering them inside. "The Church is open to all, day or night. I was just about to make myself some tea, would you like some?"
A look passed between Bruce and Diana, and he squeezed her hand once more before they turned back to the priest.
"Actually," Bruce said. "We're hoping you could help us with something. My name is Bruce Wayne, and this is my fiancé, Diana... And we were supposed to get married today."
Father Klein's eyes widened. "Oh, my goodness... Y-yes - yes, I saw that on tonight's news. I'm terribly sorry about what happened, Mr Wayne."
"Don't be sorry, that's why we're here." Diana said. "Would you be able to marry us?"
There was a sharp intake of breath behind them followed by Dick's exclamation of disbelief under his breath.
The priest was taken aback by the request. "Right now?"
Bruce nodded curtly. "Right now."
"I..." Father Klein began until they heard someone clear their throat behind them. When they looked around, Dick had taken a step forward.
"I'll take this one." He said and walked up to the elderly man. "Look, I'm going to be honest with you here - I've been waiting for months, no, scratch that, years for this moment. You might not know it if you look at him, but Bruce is a pretty grumpy guy most of the time, and the truth is, one of the only people who can get an actual smile out of the man is that amazing lady next to him.
"...I know it's late and you probably think we're crazy, but for everyone's sake - and before his face stays like that forever - we're asking you, begging you really, please, help us out. "
The priest looked at the younger man for a good, long moment before he nodded. "In that case... I wouldn't want to disappoint anyone."
Donna burst out laughing as Alfred nodded his approval.
Dick flashed Father Klein a toothy smile and clasped his shoulders. "You, sir, are a beautiful man."
Donna walked up to the younger man and linked her arms with his, leading him away from the perplexed-looking priest. "Says my future... what exactly are we now, Dick?"
He shook his head. "I don't know - today's been way too long for my taste."
"Tell me about." She said dryly as both of them walked towards the altar. "Oh, and you were very inspiring just now. I'm impressed."
Dick walked a little straighter after that but kept his face nonchalant. "It's called being awesome, Don... It's called being awesome."
Alfred cleared his throat before he looked at the bride and groom and smiled.
"Well then... Master Bruce, Miss Diana, whenever you're ready."
Once Bruce and Diana took their place in front of the altar, facing one another, Father Klein cleared his throat once before addressing the two of them.
"Please join hands so that we may get started." He said and waited until they did so, "Let's see... how does that old line go again? Oh, yes. Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today-"
"Skip it," Bruce said, stopping the priest midsentence.
"Master Bruce...!" Alfred scolded.
Father Klein blinked in surprise and adjusted his heavy horn-rimmed glasses. "If that is what you want." He said and began again, "Marriage is a sacred bond, and should not be-"
Diana cut him off, "You can skip over that part too." She said and smiled at Alfred apologetically as the older man let out an soft, exasperated sigh.
Instead of being offended by the interruptions, Father Klein let out a soft chuckle under his breath and shook his head. "Well then, in that case, why don't I just read the vows?" he asked wryly before looking at Diana first.
"Do you, Diana, take this man to be your lawfully wedded husband - for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, until death do you part?"
"I do." She said, blue eyes bright.
"And do you, Bruce, take this woman to be your lawfully wedded wife - for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, until death do you part?"
"Always."
"If anyone here has any just cause for this man and woman not to be wed, speak now or forever hold your peace."
Hippolyta held up her hand just then and stepped forward, and everyone there stiffened as Bruce and Diana turned to look at the Queen.
"Mother..." Donna said from sideline, wide-eyed.
"I'm not objecting to this union," Hippolyta said seriously. "But before anything else happens, I'll ask one last time - Diana, are you sure about this?"
Mother and daughter's eyes met and Diana's face softened. "I love him - he makes me happy. I'm sure."
Hippolyta held her stare for a moment longer before the tension left her shoulders and she sighed.
She caught Bruce's eye and a look of understanding passed between them. Hippolyta nodded once curtly and stepped back.
"Then," Father Klein said once the Queen took her place next to her younger daughter. "By the power vested in me, I pronounce you husband and wife. Mr. Wayne, you may now kiss the bride."
Bruce hardly needed to be told twice.
Cupping Diana's face in his hands tenderly, bright white sparks erupted behind closed lids, warmth and heat and life coursing through his chest as their lips met halfway in what was, without a doubt, one of the best kisses in his entire life.
Diana's arms wrapped around his neck, and somewhere above their heads, over the sound of the applause that broke out, church bells rang and the clock struck twelve.
"So, I love you because the entire universe conspired to help me find you."
- Paulo Coelho, the Alchemist
"The Book of Love is long and boring,
And written very long ago.
It's full of flowers and heart-shaped boxes,
And things we're all too young to know."
"And I.../I love it when you give me things.
And you.../You ought to give me wedding rings."
- Peter Gabriel, The Book of Love Lyrics
A/N: [Feb 2017 notes: I actually forgot about the above song until I rediscovered it on an old computer of mine - love, love, love it - I thought a beautiful classic movie love song was a little more appropriate than the poppy Glee cover as I had originally... BUT... as far as the fic itself is concerned, I'm pretty happy with this rewrite as a whole.]
It's five in the morning as I am writing this right now... I am so going to regret doing this when I emerge from my mini-coma in a few hours...
Still, I think 6 months is a adequate amount of time to keep you all hanging by a thread, no?
Anyway! I had this whole Independence Day type scenario going through my head when I did my planning way back when 3 years ago... needless to say, I ended up NOT doing that after all in this chapter. But, more seriously, this chapter was inspired by the JL Animated two-part episode, 'In Blackest Night'. There are mistakes, I know - I AM definitely going to rewrite the last part... at an unspecified time in the future once I get my beauty sleep and at least three cups of coffee.
On a different note, so much has changed in the last 6 months, huh? Comic-wise, we have Superman dying twice (again), we had Rebirth (excellent), and we had two DC superhero movies (both of which I loved, critics be absolutely damned). WonderGadot and BatFleck together are my kryptonite and my yellow sun all at once - no joke, can't wait for the Justice League movie!
Review-wise
Most of you are wonderful, you know that, I know that, the universe knows that and loves you for it... however, I'm going to take the time now to, instead, respond to a rather nasty review I got for the last chapter.
(Please, unless you want to read me swearing like a sailor and losing my shit, stop reading from this point-) To provide some context, here's the comment from RandomJackass99 (the name I've supplied for him/her since he/she's so carelessly forgot to add his/her own):
"You're an idiot. This story isn't close to good enough to wait this long for such a disappointing chapter She doesn't answer him? You're a joke."
Dear RandomJackass99,
To start, a question - if you're the one who spent between two to four hours (more or less I'm assuming, if you skim like I do) reading this story and its 21 chapters with a total word count of +/-150 000 words only to comment on the last chapter, how am I the idiot? You're the one who wasted your time, bra.
Now, the fun part...
So, first off - who the fuck to do you think you are? You must clearly have a high opinion of yourself, so I'm going to tell you who I am instead: Hi, I'm the person you just insulted, I'm also a registered member of FanFiction Dot Net and have been for the last five years. I'm the author of the fic you just flamed, a fic which, as you may have seen, has a following of 330+ other registered members on this site, a fic which also, by the way, has done pretty damn well for itself over the last three years with a grand total of more or less 120 000+ views as up to this very moment, irregular updating times notwithstanding. Otherwise, I have a personal following of a little over a 100 registered members who, if you're not bright enough to understand see where I'm going with this, are pretty willing enough to read the shit I come up with because they actually like my writing regardless whether I'm an 'idiot' or not.
I can walk the walk AND talk the talk - can you say the same about yourself?
Secondly, I hate to break it to you, precious, but most FanFiction writers aren't interested in creating any significant literary works of art. We're here to express ourselves creatively and share our love and passion for our fandoms with others in a safe environment, not deal with judgmental (wait for it) jackasses.
Also, with that said, I can and will write at whatever pace I damn well please because I take time and effort to make sure there's a hint of structure in my work, and when I don't update, it's usually because A) I'm working on making sure my writing is up to MY standard, B) I had been working towards a degree in English and had been STUDYING or (more likely) WRITING A FUCKING TEST, or C) too preoccupied with not letting my personal life fall apart to worry about satisfying strangers and their expectations.
Oh, but if you think you can do better, please, PROVE ME WRONG. Until then and you write a story of such immense importance, kindly piss off. I don't know if your mother just forgot to tell you this, but if you don't have anything nice, constructive or intelligent to say, don't give your fucking opinion where it's not wanted or appreciated. Being a jackass doesn't make you well-liked, it makes you a jackass.
Lastly, I don't respond well to cowards OR bullies, and I will not take abuse from some anonymous idiot with a keyboard. I have removed your review from my story. The end. You lose. And - once more for balance - piss off. (- Rant Ends Here) [PS - I'm not deleting this because since this has been on here, the amount of people asking me to hurry up has dwindled - I like that, I like that a lot lol]
So, who's next?
...That aside, love, love, love reviews, PM's and feedback of any kind!'
Until next time,
GoddessofDawn out!