Hello everybody. Finally I managed to get a chapter out at a relatively normal time frame instead of forcing you all to wait forever. I figured that the semi cliffhanger of the last chapter wouldn't be a very nice place to do something like that anyway. And so here's the next installment, and we've reached 25. That's a pretty big number.

Chapter 25

Very slowly Selim started to feel himself coming to, not actually comprehending the situation he was in at the moment. As he continued to leave the fog of sleep, small bits and pieces of everything started to become apparent to the child. He was outside, and almost positive somewhere in the forest. Pushing himself into a sitting position, he tried to remember the circumstances of his falling asleep in the first place. Something inside him said it wasn't normal, and that wasn't just because he doubted he'd end up passing out in the middle of the forest if he could help it.

The paralyzing fear that ran through him when the memory came back felt like someone had pored ice water down his back.

Pulling his legs up against his chest, Selim tried to keep himself from shaking too badly. M-maybe it hadn't actually happened. He could have fallen asleep, and all of that was j-just another dream. Burying his head into his knees, the black haired boy knew that he was lying to himself. That had been real. Undeniably, physically happened, and now… a-and now…

A choked sob escaped him, and he desperately tried to hold back the rest of the oncoming breakdown. He wasn't anywhere close to being able to, and huge streams of tears started running down his face, each gasping breath wracking his small frame.

This couldn't be happening. He wasn't a monster! H-he was just a normal boy, he didn't want any of this! Why did Mr. Al lie to him? It wasn't fair. None of this was fair!

Selim had absolutely no idea how long he sat there bawling his eyes out, but he really didn't care about that. His mind was a million miles away from when he would have to be anywhere. Slowly, he started to try to come out of the depressed and horrified panic he felt trapped in and try to figure out what was going on. Just what was the truth, and how many of the things he trusted as fact were really lies.

Despite his attempts to regain his composure, Selim couldn't quite get himself past the very first step of acknowledging that those horrible shadows were actually real. His thoughts would quickly spiral away from him with that. Telling him that he was a monster, that every horrible thing that had happened in those dreams were real. That he'd killed people; was cruel and dark and merciless. It was a losing battle then to stop the tears from falling once more.

When he'd finally managed to keep himself from crying for an extended amount of time, the sun was far in the west. He'd… he'd need to get back to Mr. Alphonse soon, or else he would start to worry. Briefly, he entertained the thought of running away, but decided against it. He had no idea how to take care of himself all alone, and he probably wouldn't be able to stay hidden for very long. If Mr. Alphonse didn't end up finding him, then his guards would probably come back to.

Those guards… it made sense now. Everything made sense now. The strangeness he'd always felt around others, and the tension certain people seemed to have. The way Mr. Edward hated him, and those terrible, gruesome dreams. Even though he had no idea what those shadows were or what exactly they made him (the monster his brain was shouting out notwithstanding) it still managed to link everything together all nice and neatly.

Wiping at the wet streaks running down his face, he pushed himself off of the ground. He didn't want to, but he had to go back. He couldn't let anyone else know what he'd found out. Looking around his surroundings, he didn't even understand how he managed to feel worse realizing he had no idea which way he was supposed to go anymore.

A-at least now he had an excuse as to why he looked like he'd been sobbing. He'd gotten lost and scared in the woods… He hadn't meant to, and was afraid that Mr. Al would be mad at him considering what had happened to Ethan only a few days earlier. It was simple and believable, and would probably end up being true if he wasn't lucky.

Right now, he highly doubted he would be receiving any kind of good luck.

Picking a direction, he started on his way, pretending that he wasn't slightly hoping that he would get even more lost and could put off going back and having to face Mr. Alphonse again.

He'd just outright lied to him. When the boy thought about it, he could understand why he did it, but that didn't mean he could get over it that easily. He'd always trusted the young man. Now though… he doubted anything he told him was the truth. What if he didn't even care about him, really? This whole babysitter thing he'd been doing all of his life might have just been the easiest way to have a powerful alchemist keeping an eye on him. In case he found out the truth Mr. Al would be there to… to kill him? Maybe. Probably.

He could feel the tears pricking at his eyes again, and quickly started wiping them away. He had to get a hold of himself. His life could very well be on the line, and so he had to make it seem like he was more or less fine.

He wasn't a normal little boy, so he couldn't afford to sit around crying like one.

Taking a few deep breaths, he was able to keep himself from completely crumpling like before. Rubbing the back of his hand against his cheeks, he managed erase the few tears that had managed to escape. He knew that his face was probably all red and his eyes puffy and bloodshot, but at least it would be something to not have actual tears.

Selim was slightly surprised when the edge of the first came into view. He hadn't come out at the same spot he'd went in, but he was in the town now. It wouldn't be very hard to find his way back from here.

It was practically dark by the time he reached the house, and Mr. Alphonse was waiting outside for him. Staring at the ground, he started towards the older man. He just had to act like he'd gotten lost. There wasn't any reason for him to suspect anything else happened, after all.

When he was close enough to see his face Selim glanced up quickly, trying to assess the way Mr. Al was feeling. It was pretty clear that he was trying to look mad, but he seemed much too relieved to actually be. The black haired boy thought he would feel more guilty than he actually did, it was rather strange. Of course, his lack of remorse might be because of the feelings of betrayal that were still swirling around inside of him.

"Where have you been? I've been worried sick!" Alphonse asked, and Selim shrugged slightly. Okay, now was the moment when his acting abilities would finally come in handy. If they didn't work, then he really didn't think that he would be able to live much longer. Not with the things he'd done.

"The forest… I'm sorry, I didn't mean to get lost. Are you mad?" he asked. The black haired boy watched as the angry façade Alphonse had been attempting to keep melted away with those words. This was easier than he thought it would be. Now he just had to hold himself together, and everything would be alright. For now, at least.

"No, of course not. Why would I be mad?" he asked, and Selim shrugged once again, keeping his eyes downcast.

"Because of what happened with Ethan a few days ago. I should have known to stay out of the forest…" he mumbled. Mr. Alphonse sighed and nodded slightly, but Selim could tell that he wasn't going to get punished.

"Yes, you should have known to be careful, but I know you didn't mean to get lost. Come on now, I'll heat your dinner up for you. You're probably starving," the blonde man said, and reluctantly Selim nodded and started after him.

That had gone surprisingly well. Even now that they were in the light, Mr. Alphonse didn't try to ask about his bloodshot eyes or the streaks of tears and dirt that he was sure were staining his face. He only suggested that Selim take a bath after he was finished eating and then go to bed. They could pick up with their alchemy studies in the morning, and he would call his mother for him. Tell her that he was worn out from the day and had fallen asleep before getting the chance to talk to her.

The black haired boy readily agreed. There was no way that he could focus enough on alchemy right now, and he wasn't exactly in the mood to pretend to be happy to talk to his mother either. He didn't really think he'd be any more ready to try to learn the complicated science in the morning, especially since he'd have to be with Mr. Alphonse in order to, but he could take on that mountain once he reached it.

When he finished eating, he went into the bathroom in order to clean up as Mr. Al had suggested. Before going into the tub though, he stared at himself in the mirror. He really did look just as a mess as he'd thought he did. The tears and dirt of the forest left lines running down his face, and there was a bit of grass in his hair from when he'd passed out. There was dirt under his finger nails from when he'd been clawing at the ground as well, and his eyes were still tinged red.

Leaning a bit closer to the reflective glass, he pushed his bangs up with one hand. His eyes locked on the strange red spot in the middle of his forehead that he usually tried to ignore. As of right now, he figured that it was pretty safe to assume that it wasn't just a normal birthmark as he'd been told his entire life.

Just how many things had he been lied about, anyway?

Once he finished scrubbing himself down, the child quickly got changed into a set of clean pajamas and went straight into his current room. Collapsing onto the bed, he closed his eyes, but sleep didn't immediately claim him. His mind was much too muddled for that to happen. Instead, he kept running over what had happened earlier in his head, surprisingly able to keep himself from crying as he did.

Selim felt himself get knocked out of his reminiscing when Mr. Al knocked on his door lightly, pushing it open to peak inside at the child. Looking up, the blonde man offered him a smile, which Selim was only barely able to reproduce.

"Do you want me to turn off your light?" he asked, and the boy shook his head instantly. He didn't want to be in the dark. It wasn't that hard to fall asleep with the lights on anyway.

"N-no. Can you leave it on, just for tonight? Please?" he asked, and Alphonse nodded. There was a bit of confusion hidden behind his eyes, but Selim decided to ignore it. He was just an upset and possibly homesick little boy who had an on again, off again fear of the dark. That was all Mr. Alphonse would know.

"Of course. Goodnight," he said, and Selim nodded gratefully.

"Goodnight," he repeated, watching as Mr. Al smiled at him before closing the door. Lying there, Selim listened to the sound of his footsteps as he walked away, until he could no longer hear them and knew that he was once again alone.

Pushing himself into a sitting position, the child had no idea what to do anymore. He was some sort of monster. He'd possibly done hundreds of horrible things and killed and hurt so many people. What had happened to him? How had he become who he is now? Just a normal little kid who didn't know about any of this, and why had anyone let him live in the first place?

It seemed that with the one new answer he'd gotten, a thousand more questions arose to take its place.

Out of the corner of his eye, he caught sight of the worn old armor doll that Mr. Al had given him all that time ago. It had been based off of the armor from his dream, someone that he'd fought, and tried to kill.. Maybe succeeded in killing. He didn't know, and he didn't know why the older man would have chose to give him something like that in the first place. Was there some sort of meaning behind it? Did he think it was funny that something so… horrible as he'd been before was turned into a helpless baby he could kill with one hand?

Selim frowned as he stared at the doll, practically squeezing the life out of it as he continued to think. It was like he was mocking him. Without another thought he flung the doll across the room as hard as he could, it hitting the opposite wall and sliding to the floor.

Collapsing back to the bed, he closed his eyes as tight as he could, trying to block all thoughts from his head. He just wanted to sleep now, not thing about any of this.

It didn't seem like he'd ever get something he wanted ever again, though.

Poor Selim, he is not having a very good time with all of this. I do hope you all liked the chapter though, and the fact that for once I was not late again. Also, thank you all for the really high number of reviews for the last chapter, I guess that was part of the reason I was able to get this one out.