AN: I bet you thought I forgot about you, but I assure you, I never could. I have been through so much these past few months, and I only regret that I could not update for you sooner. If anyone is still with me, thank you so much for your continued support. I apologize for the briefness of this chapter, but hey, it's something right? Reviews would be most appreciated. I love you all!

My dearest Elsie,

I cannot put into words how desperately I miss you. His Lordship has kept me very busy, so there has not been much time to go out. I won't pretend that I'm terribly upset by this, for something about the Americans makes me weary of being around them for too long. The way they carry themselves is equal parts appalling and disturbing. No Englishman would behave in such a way. I know that it's taken me a bit to write, but I truly have been busy. I wish that I could be there, with you. I miss your voice, your warmth, your smile… It pains me deeply to be so far from you, my dear. Though I cannot see you, I have no doubts that the sight of you as you are now would not fail to take my breath away. I could go on forever with variations of how dearly I wish to be by your side again, but I'm afraid I don't have time to continue.

I hope that you are being taken care of, and I promise, I will be home as soon as I can.

I love you, Mrs. Carson.

Charles

Elsie clutched his letter in her hand, tears threatening to spill over. She had lost count of how many times she had read the words etched into the parchment in his steady, careful hand. It had been well over a month, and it seemed as though His Lordship's business in New York was nowhere closer to being resolved. She missed her husband terribly, and now she needed him more than ever. She had noticed a few weeks earlier that it seemed she was rather fatigued even after doing the most menial of tasks. She hadn't been eating as much, for she just hadn't felt hungry, and too much movement made her nauseous. Finally after a dizzy spell in the kitchen that resulted in her losing her balance and the loss of several plates, Beryl had demanded that she make an appointment to see Dr. Clarkson.

Elsie stood from her seat, and wandered over to look out the window of the cottage as she recalled that afternoon at the Downton Cottage Hospital.

"A brain tumor," Elsie repeated slowly, the shock taking away her ability to breathe. Beside her, Beryl sat wide-eyed, her hand over mouth in terror.

"I'm afraid so, yes," Dr. Clarkson said softly, a sympathetic grimace forming on his face. "Unfortunately, we have no way of telling whether it will be problematic…"

"How is a brain tumor NOT problematic," Mrs. Patmore asked incredulously. Elsie didn't even move to scold her as she normally would have done.

"I mean that Mrs. Hughes could have many happy years ahead of her," he trailed off, frowning. He stared down at his hands, "Or…the alternative."

Elsie felt fresh tears slipping down her cheeks, and she grasped the windowsill to steady herself. It had been two weeks ago since she found out, and she didn't know how she was going to break the news to Charles. She had no desire to tell him while he was out of the country, and she didn't feel there was a reason to. How was she supposed to breach the topic of her possible death sentence to the man she had just began a new chapter of her life with? Dr. Clarkson had told her to keep him updated on her condition, and if the symptoms worsened much more, then they would probably have their answer.

She felt a warm presence at her foot, and looked down to see their worried-looking pup. She gave a small smile, "There now, lass… I'm alright, I promise." Cassidy nudged her master with her nose, giving a whimper. Elsie bent down slowly, taking the dog's face in her hands and kissing her snout softly, "You're such a good girl, Cass." She chuckled as the pup rolled onto her back, and she moved her hand to scratch her belly softly. Suddenly, a knock sounded at the door, and she stood slowly, unsure of what to expect. She opened the door to find Mrs. Crawley standing on her doorstep.

"Mrs. Crawley! I must say this is a surprise," Elsie exclaimed. "Has something happened at the Abbey? Am I needed?"

Mrs. Crawley shook her head, "No, nothing of that sort." She looked down before flicking her gaze back up with a sad expression. "Rather, I've just been with Dr. Clarkson."

"Oh," Elsie said solemnly, "And he told you everything, did he?"

"No, he just mentioned the symptoms, and I," she paused, "I suppose I came to the conclusion of my own. I really just wanted to express my sympathies to you."

"I thank you, Mrs. Crawley, but I would honestly rather prefer if this stayed a secret. I don't want to worry everyone over nothing," Elsie sighed.

"If that's what you want, I won't say anything about it, but you can't just pretend that nothing has changed," Isobel insisted.

"With all due respect, Mrs. Crawley, it is my health that is at stake here, and I think that I should decide how I will manage my own life," Elsie snapped. "I have just received major news that could change my life, and I don't even know how to break it to my husband. I appreciate your concern, but please, allow me to handle this!"

Isobel tensed, "You are right, Mrs. Carson. I apologize for intruding upon your personal life. I had no right to do that. Just promise me that you will take care of yourself." She turned to leave, and Mrs. Carson closed the door with a deep sigh. She went over to the table where she sat down to begin her response to her husband.

My darling Charles

Now that you're mine, I realize that I never knew just how agonizing it could be without you near. My heart aches every morning when I wake to your absence, and each night as I fall asleep alone. To say that I simply miss you is an understatement.

I understand that His Lordship is doing important business, but I wish that it would be solved more quickly. I need you here with me, my love. Things are not the same here without your strong, confident leadership to keep things running smoothly. Together we make a great team, but apart we cannot function without the other half. Thomas is doing a passable job, but could not stand against you.

Please, hurry back to me, Charles Carson. Your wife misses you oh so terribly.

I love you until the end of my days.

Elsie

Elsie signed the letter, wiping the tears away from her eyes as she stood to put her coat on. She needed to tell him about her condition, but it could certainly wait until he came back. If she were to tell him now, he might have a break down, and she did not want that. She could wait a little longer to be with him, but she wasn't sure just how much longer she could take. As she left the cottage to post the letter, she imagined him walking along beside her. "Oh, Charles," she whispered, "Please, hurry home."