NOTE: This chapter requires an instrumental called "Edward at Her Bed" by Carter Burwell for the very last scene of this chapter where Rory and Rylie talk. And, yes, it is from the Twilight soundtrack but it's very beautiful.

25. My Shoes Are Muddy (And That's Supposed to be My Fault?)

Rylie

Eddie and I are walking downtown on Saturday when I'm hit with a catalyst.

"...So now he's still tryin' to climb down the ladder, the dog's havin' a seizure, I've got half a pie left," Eddie is telling me when two men tumble out of the store in front of us, brawling heavily.

Both of us jump back, startled. Eddie immediately steps in front of me, holding onto my sleeve as if he expects me to leap into the fight myself. Other people start spilling out of the store, trying to pull the two men apart.

I look at Eddie questioningly and he shrugs. Then the two of us step toward the fight and leap into action. Eddie goes for the man on the left; I go for the man on the right. Reaching out, I grab the man's arm right as he throws his fist toward the other man's jaw. He is so surprised it's almost too easy to snap his arm down and twist it around behind his back, jamming it up against his spine.

The man tries to twist around, grabbing at me with his other hand, but I quickly shove him forward into the wall of the store. His face slams into the stone, and the expression on his face is so comically surprised I almost have to laugh.

Behind me, I hear Eddie arguing loudly with the other man but I can't turn around to see what's happening.

"Dude. Just stop struggling, you're embarrassing yourself," I hear Eddie say.

"Get the fuck off me! This doesn't concern you!" the man screams back.

"You're waking the neighbors!" Eddie snaps back and I laugh.

"Nice Step Brothers reference," I holler to him over my shoulder.

He laughs. "Thanks!"

"Will you two just get the fuck outta here?" the man in Eddie's possession snaps.

"No, I don't think that would be a good idea. You two need a little timeout," Eddie replies.

"What the fuck are you supposed to be anyway?"

"Vigilantes," Eddie answers smugly.

My heart nearly stops in my chest. I want to turn around and stare at him in shock, ask him just what he thinks he's doing, but with the man I'm holding I can't do that. I can feel the eyes of the people around us boring into my skin. For an irrational second, I despair that I'm going to be stuck here forever.

And then the manager of the store comes out, flanked by two police officers. Quickly I duck my head and look away as one of the officers pulls the man from my grasp. I am burning with hatred for the cop, but this time I know I must let him go.

"Stay there," the cop tells me. "I want a statement from you."

The cops drag the men to their car, and while they're gone, Eddie and I look at each other. We don't say anything, we just start running. If anyone sees, they don't give us away. When we're at a safe distance from the police, we stop and rest in a narrow alley behind a dumpster. The smell kind of reminds me of Walter when he comes back from patrol, and I wrinkle my nose.

"Shit, man," Eddie mutters, shaking his head. "Can't believe we just did that."

Remembering what Eddie had said before, I whip my head up and glare at him. "Yeah. I can't believe you just did that, either," I growl.

He blinks at me. "Huh?"

"You said we were vigilantes. You told them we were vigilantes and we didn't even have disguises on!" I fume. Doesn't he understand what that means? That if anyone from the crowd happened to take a picture or recognize us, not only will we be in danger but our families will be in danger?

"So?" Eddie replies.

"So you're not a vigilante, first of all!" I shriek.

"Eh, so what if I'm not?" Eddie says, shrugging.

I gape at him. "'So what?', you said you are! Don't you understand what that means for anybody associated with us?"

"Rylie, calm down. I don't think they took me seriously. And even if they did, none of them knew us," he says.

"But, Eddie-"

"And, didn't you see how none of the people told the cops we were running away? They saw us run away and they didn't say anything. They were protecting us. Why would they protect us and then give us away?" he tells me in a soothing, slightly triumphant voice.

I bite my lip, uncertain. He does have a point, but what if one of the witnesses decides to talk anyway? We'd be in deep shit if they did...

"Besides, wasn't that such a rush?" Eddie continues, and when I look at him, his blue eyes are gleaming with undiluted excitement. "I mean, we were so badass!"

"Eddie, we stopped two guys from fighting. I don't really think this makes us badass by any means," I reply, rolling my eyes, but underneath the sarcasm I can still feel the memory of the adrenaline in my bloodstream.

"Oh, whatever, you loved it and you know it," Eddie retorts, elbowing me in the ribs and grinning.

And that was the catalyst. That whole moment. I decided I wasn't going to wait for Walter's permission. I was going to be a vigilante.

~r.~

I head out that same night. I cover my face with a cloth mask I'd made right after I'd gotten home, and dress all in black. I haven't really had time to think of a costume, or of a title, but I figure that can come later.

As I climb out my window and down the tree (keeping extra quiet because Eddie is spending the night and is currently asleep in my room), I'm already going over the plan again in my head. I will avoid all of the places I know Walter will be going. He's dropped in and told me of his patrols so many times now that I almost have the route memorized. He travels in a circle downtown; if I can hit the places directly opposite of where he'll be, everything will run smoothly.

I've decided not to tell Eddie. Much as I want him with me right now, I want to prove I can be a vigilante on my own. And then later I can rub it in Walter's face.

When I'm finally downtown, I think of all the times Eddie and I snuck out in New York. We had never found anything except for that first time, when we'd run back home, scared out of our wits. I narrow my eyes. I vow to myself that I will find something tonight, and I won't run home scared this time.

After a while, though, I've started to lose hope that I'll find anything. The night seems dark but peaceful, quiet, and whenever I think I'll find someone lurking in the shadows it just turns out to be a garbage can or an old box.

And then as I'm walking past yet another dark alley, someone grabs my arm and whirls me away. I gasp and turn on the person immediately, lashing out with my fist. It slams into their neck- not exactly where I was aiming but good enough- and they let me go with a strangled gasp. Stumbling backwards, I see that there is more than one man here with me- there are five. And they are all looking at me dangerously.

I take a step away from them and my back presses into the wall of the alley. I am surrounded. That's when the adrenaline starts to kick in. I narrow my eyes and glare back determinedly at my attackers. And then I lunge toward them.

Some people say that when they're in a tight situation like this, time slows down. Well, that's not true. At least for me it wasn't. Everything sped up, and my body sped up in response to keep up with the increase.

The first man I hit went down pretty easily; I bodyslammed him and we both fell to the ground. But as I was drawing back my fist to deliver the first punch, someone else grabbed my wrist and wrenched it backward. I let out a little yelp of pain and instinctively bent the rest of my body backwards to prevent him from breaking that wrist.

Which was a bad idea, because then the man laid a knife to my throat.

As I'm laying there, bent in half below a man who is caressing my neck with the blade of a knife, I think of Walter. I want to tell him I'm sorry that I went out tonight, that I am stupid. I want to see him again before I die. I feel tears prick my eyes, knowing I won't be able to.

And then I start to think of what he would say if he held the knife against my throat, as if this were just another lesson he was teaching in a training session.

"Lean back and grab the knife with your other hand."

And that's what I do. The blade cuts into my palm but I barely feel it. And at least it's not my throat the knife is cutting into. I try to pull the knife away but the man has a firm grip on it, so I dig my nails deeply into his knuckles. Blood seeps in under my fingernails but I don't quit digging until he finally lets go, howling in pain. The knife drops into my hand and I roll backwards, head over heels, until my feet touch the ground and I can hop into a standing position again.

Another man is coming at me. I wave the knife at him, forcing him to hop backwards. But from behind me, someone wraps their arms around my waist, managing to encircle my arms and press them to my sides so I can't move them. I struggle to get free but the man holds me tightly against him.

"Don't fight now, dollface," he whispers in my ear. "We're gonna give you enough of a workout later."

Two men are approaching in front of me. The one on the left reaches for me and I kick him right in the nuts. He doubles over in pain, but before I can do anything else the man on the right punches me in the stomach. Pain explodes inside of me, and I double over, too. For a moment, my vision fuzzes and all I want to do is puke; that's all I can concentrate on.

And then I feel hands on my thighs, fingers in the waistband of my shorts, tugging them down. My eyes fly open with horror and I forget the pain in my stomach. No! my mind screams. With a feral shriek, I stab the knife backwards into the ribs of the man holding me. He lets go immediately and I kick out at the man with his hands down my pants. My heel hits him in the jaw and sends him to the ground.

I stand there for a moment, aching and gasping for air, and I see that these men are still coming at me. The two from before and the man who's jaw I'm almost certain I've dislocated. They all step toward me, eyes blazing, lust and anger and darkness in their eyes. I crouch into a fighting position, although I'm not sure how much longer I can keep this up.

And then, out of nowhere, two blurred forms leap in front of me, tackling the men mid-lunge. I stand there, completely frozen in shock for a moment, until I see who the forms are. Walter, still in costume, and Eddie. Together, the two of them are whirlwind of action. I am fascinated by the way they fight together- both fierce, both aggressive, driving against the men instead of simply holding their ground.

Quicker than I could have imagined, the fight is over. The men are all lying on the ground, either simply unconscious or- the more likely option- dead. Eddie hurries over to me immediately while Walter checks to make sure none of the men are going to sneak up on us.

"What happened?" Eddie murmurs, running his hands frantically over me. "Where are you hurt?"

"My hand," I say numbly, showing him my bleeding palm. My stomach is what hurts the worst but I don't think there's anything I can do about that.

"Give it to me," Eddie orders and I lay my hand in his, palm still facing up. He pulls his shirt up over his head and presses it to the deep cut to staunch the bleeding.

Behind him, I see Walter turn to look at me. And I can feel the burning fury practically steaming off of him as he slowly approaches. I want to sink into the wall behind me but, as I can't do that, I settle for curling in closer to Eddie. Though I can't see Walter's face under his mask, I can picture the rage on his face all too clearly in my head.

"What were you thinking?" he hisses and it's like steam escaping. I flinch away from him, wanting to disappear. When I don't answer, he quivers and spits, "Fool! Could've gotten yourself killed! Dangerous! You damn idiot!"

I tremble, scared speechless. I have never seen Walter quite this angry. Even when Eddie and I had lied and told him I was pregnant. Not even then. I have never seen him so furious. I'm almost afraid he's going to hit me.

"I-I was just t-trying to-"

"Don't. Say it," Walter interrupts, speaking through his teeth.

So I don't. I stay obediently quiet while Eddie finishes mopping up the blood from my hand. When I look up at Walter again, he is looking away. I can feel his anger hasn't cooled in the slightest, but he has it under control now. It's like he's one of those Everlasting Gobstoppers- except on the inside he's hot and raging, and on the outside he's cold and immovable.

He looks at me, I don't have to see his face to know it, and then he turns to Eddie and says, "Take her home. Make sure she stays there." His voice is dead cold.

For once, Eddie looks as if he's in total agreement. He nods to Walter and then turns to me. "C'mon, get up," he mutters and pulls me to my feet. I stand unsteadily, feeling as though I'm going to collapse. The aftermath of the adrenaline has me shaky on my feet, and my fear of Walter's fury isn't helping matters.

We walk away from Walter without turning back. In truth, I'm scared to. I can still feel the unimaginable rage pulsing off of him, although the further we get from him the weaker it gets until it's almost non-existant.

When we get back to my house, Eddie almost has to carry me up the tree and in through my window, but I make it. My legs quivering under me, I collapse onto my bed and stare at the ceiling. Everything around me feels numb. My body is shaking. My stomach is twisting in pain. I wonder if I'm going into shock.

Eddie sits next to me and lays a hand on my shoulder. "That was incredibly stupid, I hope you know that," he growls, and his voice is just as furious as Walter's but it's softer, too. Eddie's not as scary as Walter is.

I nod. "I know," I agree. "I'm sorry I didn't tell you I was going."

"It was stupid of you not to," Eddie replies, nodding. "Why didn't you?"

I shrug. "I'm not really sure. Guess I just wanted to prove I could do it on my own."

Eddie snorts. "Guess you took two steps backward there, didn'tcha?" he teases.

I sigh and nod in agreement, looking down and suddenly feeling the reality of what I've just done come crashing in on me. "There's no way Walter will let me be a vigilante now," I mumble, feeling tears sting my eyes. My stomach continues to hurt, now churning with apprehension.

"I'd like to see him stop you," Eddie murmurs, scooting closer to me and brushing his fingers through my hair. Instinctively, I cuddle closer to him.

After a while, Eddie sighs and stands up. "I should get some peroxide on that cut," he says. He's about to leave when he stops in the doorway and turns to me. "You know, you're really lucky they didn't do what I think they were going to do," he says in a stern voice. His eyes are dark and dangerous, and I can almost see what he would like to do to the men who had attacked me.

He leaves the room, and I stare after him with wide, terrified eyes. The reality of the situation sinks in- they could have easily raped me, or killed me, or both. My stomach churns one last time before I lean over my bed and vomit.

Rorschach

Wait until Eddie and Cadence have left before I drag all five men to warehouse. Long walk, but it's worth it. Tie them all up when we get there. Men are so heavily unconscious that they don't wake up until long after I've gotten them to destination.

First man that wakes up sees me sitting in front of him patiently. Blinks in confusion, groggy. Blood caked on his face from cut on forehead and split lip. Jaw looks dislocated. Didn't do that myself. Cadence must have. Almost smile but catch myself. Could've gotten herself killed. Nothing to be proud of.

Man starts to realize he's not where he should be. Starts to look at me and remember me. He begins to yell, waking other men. All join in to help him make a racket. Watch them for a while and then stand up, approaching them. Look up at me and keep yelling. I raise my fist and strike the man with the dislocated jaw across the face.

All of them fall silent. Have their full attention now.

Burning anger inside of me builds like inferno, threatening to devour. Lusting for blood, for murder, it rises up and zeroes gaze in on men. Kill all of them, monster inside of me says. More than willing to obey.

"The girl," I say; monster is in my voice, too, and they can hear it. "Planning to rape her. Planning to murder her. Worthless fucking scum." Let the dirty word roll out of me, fall off my tongue. Worst word to describe worst men. Seems fitting.

"Please, man. We're-we're sorry. Is she yours?" one of the men snivels. Tears dribble down his cheeks. Blubbering fool. Disgusting. "I-if she was, y-you can have her. W-we had no right, man, we're sorry. Just...just let us go!"

All of a sudden, am filled with fiercest desire to protect, to avenge. Cadence is mine. Beast inside of me claims her, possessive, disturbingly so. Bend down till eyes are level with the man's. "Yes, she is mine. And yes, you had no right. Must be punished," I snarl.

"No, no, man, you've punished us enough! We learned our lesson!" the man pleads, trembling.

"No," I reply, shaking my head. "There's much more you need to learn." Then I grab man's hand and bend back his fingers, one by one. Screams split the night with each snap. When done with one hand, move to the next. Slow, steady process. Fire burns stronger with each break. Beast howls for blood.

When all ten fingers are broken, man slumps back, eyes rolling in head, nearly passed out from pain. "No, no," I growl, slapping him across face. Bleary eyes blink up at me, desperate, pleading. "Not done yet," I tell him.

Grab his wrist and bend it backwards. Man screams again, louder now. Smile underneath protection of my face. Will break every bone in his body if necessary. But he must feel pain of his punishment in every pore until he welcomes hell with open arms.

Rylie

It's almost dawn. I can see the sky brightening slowly outside my window. Eddie is asleep on the floor next to my bed. And I am wide awake, staring blindly into the ceiling, seeing nothing but the fight. A thought has occurred to me in the night, so startling, so sickening, that at first when I'd thought of it I'd almost threw up again.

Walter or Eddie could have been killed tonight, and it would have been my fault.

This thought has kept me awake all night. This thought has had my stomach in knots and my heart in my throat for hours. I keep repeating the fight in my head, seeing everything through clearer eyes. Hindsight is 20/20 after all. And imagination...well, it's even clearer. I keep seeing Walter take one step in the wrong direction and get impaled by a knife, seeing Eddie leap to protect me and have some man crush his throat.

It's terrifying. Even though none of the things I'm imagining happened, simply thinking of them makes me shake with fear. As though imagining them happening will make them happen.

When I can see the sun peaking over the rim of the horizon, I get up and leave. I sneak quietly across the floor like before, but there is no edge of excitement to me now. There is only the guilt and the need to get away from it. If I run, maybe I can leave everything that's eating me up inside behind.

My feet touch the ground once I've descended from the tree and I'm off running immediately. I don't know where I'm going and I don't care. I just let my feet do the guiding while I concentrate on not concentrating. Above my head, stormclouds start to gather, blocking out the light of the rising sun, and by the time I reach the forest behind my house, the rain has started to fall.

Rorschach

When I get to Cadence's house, it's a little after dawn. I've finished with the men, all of them now dead, their bodies floating somewhere down the Kansas River. It still brings fire into my chest to even think of what they were going to do to her.

Climbing through her window, I immediately notice that she's not in her bed. I feel a brief flare of panic, and then I shake my head. Someone's snoring, I tell myself and then blink. Although I've never heard Cadence snore this loudly before.

Looking down at the source of the sound, I realize that it's not Cadence at all- it's Eddie. I narrow my eyes, feeling a different kind of heat rise up in me- different, but just as angry. And then I realize what this means: Cadence is not here.

Quickly, I march over to Eddie and kick him in the side. "Wake up!" I snap.

He jumps up immediately, startled out of sleep, and then glares up at me. "Hey, man, what the hell do you think you're doing-"

"Cadence is gone," I growl, cutting him off.

Eddie snorts. "No she's not, she's right there," he replies and points to the bed. Then he blinks and turns back to me when he realizes she's not there. "Oh..." he says. I give him an "Oh, really?" look and he rolls his eyes. "She probably just went to the bathroom or something. Look, just sit here, I'll find her, calm down," he assures me and then walks out the door, muttering something about impatience.

When he gets back, though, there is worry in his eyes. "I couldn't find her," he says.

"Where could she have gone?" I wonder out loud, feeling my heart start to race. Surely she didn't try to go out on patrol again?

"Well, look, man, she couldn't have gotten far. I woke up at around five and she was still here. I'll check the woods to the west and you check the woods to the east, okay? I don't think she would've gone back into town, so we should check here first," Eddie says.

I prickle a little with irritation at the fact that he's giving me orders but I don't argue. Quickly, we race outside, using the front door this time, and then head in opposite directions. It is raining heavily now, pouring down so hard that I can't see very far in front of me. I'm soaked in seconds and a tiny part of me wonders randomly how it can rain so much in a place that's supposed to be perpetually dry.

It's a long way out to the woods in the east but I finally get there, alert for tracks or any other sign that Cadence could have passed this way. I travel along the western rim of a deep creek cutting through the forest, glancing up every so often to make sure I don't run into a tree.

I'm starting to lose hope when I see her down in the creek below me. She's a few feet ahead, her back to me, walking with her hands in her pockets and her feet in the stream. Ignoring the mud seeping into my shoes, I slide down into the creek with a small splash and hurry over to her.

"Hey!" I call to her. She doesn't turn and I don't think she's heard me. Narrowing my eyes, I jog the rest of the distance between us and grab her shoulder. "Hey!"

She jumps and whips around, instantly in a fighting stance, her eyes filled with terror and determination. When she sees it's me, they open wide with shock. "What are you doing here?" she hisses while rain falls down her cheeks like tears.

"Looking for you," I growl, feeling the anger in my chest burn at her tone.

"Just leave me alone," she mutters and turns away. I grab her shoulder, pulling her back, and she shrugs out from under me. I grab her again and she turns sharply, shoving my arm away. "Get off!" she snaps, glaring at me.

"You're coming with me," I reply, grabbing her arm.

"Hey, get off of me!" she growls, leaping at me. We both go tumbling into the stream. Water splashes up over my face, filling my mouth and nose for a second. Cold mud presses into my back as we both sink in deeper. She throws punches at me and I try to block them, but the water keeps spilling in over my eyes, blurring my vision. Finally, I surge upward and roll over so Cadence is on the bottom, and we continue like this for a few minutes, rolling around in the stream, wrestling with each other furiously.

Then, after a while, Cadence's moves become slower, less deliberate, until she finally just stops and sits away from me. She is dripping wet from head to toe and smeared with mud; I'm sure I look about the same and I'm glad I decided to change out of costume before coming here.

Long moments pass between us, completely silent except for the rain, and then finally I decide to break it. "Cadence?"

Cadence doesn't reply for a moment and then she looks at me. Her eyes are suspiciously wet, and I fear for a moment that she will cry. "Walter...will you keep me from being a vigilante now?" she asks and her voice shakes.

I want to say yes. I want to say yes so badly just to punish her. But I know that if I do, eventually she will just try to do it on her own again, probably with worse results. And I don't want that on my conscience. So I sigh and shake my head. "No," I tell her reluctantly.

She blinks, silent for another moment, and then she says something that surprises me. "All I keep thinking about is how easily you could have died."

I draw back, staring at her. She stares back at me guiltily. "Cadence..." I say, shocked. "You don't think those men could've killed me, do you?"

She sniffs but no tears fall. Or maybe they do and I'm just mistaking them for raindrops. She looks down at the stream we're both still sitting in and shrugs. "I don't know. Maybe," she mutters.

"Cadence, this is my job. I've done this for years, it's what I do. And, quite frankly, you're lack of faith in me is a little insulting," I add, trying to make my tone joking.

She looks up at me, her eyes wide with despair. "But...if you had died for me, I don't...I couldn't even imagine..."

"But I didn't," I interrupt firmly and sigh, shaking my head. "Why is it you're so damn difficult?"

"I'm difficult?" she replies and I smirk.

"C'mon," I say, pulling her to her feet. "You're going to get sick out here. You should be in bed resting from your little adventure," I add, giving her a stern look. Although I can still feel the anger and the horrible, panicked feeling, I'm calm now. Cadence is safe. That's all that matters right now.

As we're walking back, Cadence glances down at her feet and gasps. "What?" I ask, alarmed.

"My shoes are muddy!" she exclaims and then glares at me accusingly.

"And that's supposed to be my fault?"

AUTHOR'S NOTE: Okay, long chapter, I know, and the next one will be, too, but hopefully they are enjoyable ;) I am going to try and get this story finished (HOPEFULLY, cross your fingers!) by the end of this summer. Cuz once school starts I can guarantee I will not have as much time to work on this and I really want you guys to see the end product sooner rather than later. So that means faster updates! :D Anyway, please review!