A/N: I don't own Scrubs. I seriously wish I did, or at least had the chance to beg a certain two actors to perhaps film a scene or two of this Fic… but hey. Life can't always be that epic.

Onwards.

Chapter Twenty-Five - Something New

JD POV

I slammed the clipboard down on the nurses station, fuming - where the hell were the interns? I'd asked Stacey to do a CAT scan on Mr. Knight an hour ago and still it hadn't been done - not to mention Joe who had promised to finish his paperwork by 2pm the previous day… surprise surprise, still not finished. I'd had it up to here with the incompetence of them all and I knew that the next person to get in my way would be in Anger-town.

I turned, fists clenched, ready to find the sorry excuses for doctor's that somehow though they'd see the end of their internship and found myself stopping in my tracks.

Okay, so maybe not quite the next person would be in Anger-town. Lesley stood in front of me, tentative smile and all - relief flooded through me at the sight of a friendly face, surprising me completely. Relief had been a foreign concept this last week and I seriously hadn't expected it to come in the form of someone I was sure I'd probably never see again.

I walked towards her, trying to inject some warmth into my eyes. "Hey stranger - what're you doing on my side of town?"

She grinned, slipping her hands inside her trouser pocket's and shrugging. "I guess I wanted to see where worked - y'know, see if you really do work miracles here."

"Good luck spotting any of those," I replied dryly, walking towards the cafeteria and indicating that she should follow. "With the interns we have this year the most you'll probably see will be patient after patient dying, domino-style."

Her nose wrinkled in sympathy. "That bad, huh?"

I nodded. "They're the worst I've seen since starting here."

Gently she looped her arm through mine, squeezing it gently to her side - the gesture felt familiar despite her still being practically a stranger to me. I guess she'd been right; we were pretty similar. She reminded me of the younger version of myself, the guy that had just finished medical school and was itching to get into the big wide world and start living.

If this is life, she's in for a treat, I thought sarcastically to myself, directing her towards one of the tables by the window and sliding onto one of the chairs, placing my arms onto the table and resting one hand on top of the other. "So. What are you really here for?"

Lesley arched her eyebrow but didn't try to bullshit me. Her answer, however, was not what I had expected. "Perry called me and asked me to come visit you."

I stared at her for a second before shaking my head slightly. "Too scared to come and face me himself? So he should be," I joked, pretending to flex my muscles, "I'm a dangerous guy to mess with!"

Lightly she touched one of her hands to my own. "Don't do that," she murmured, shaking her head in a mirror image of my own movement a few seconds ago. "Don't make a joke of something you clearly want."

"I don't want that," I countered, pulling my hands out from under her own and putting them in my lap. "I don't want to see him. For one… I don't know what I'd say to him. I don't even know if I'd be able to look at him."

Her eyes were sympathetic as they came to rest on mine. "He's going through a tough time too, John. Maybe seeing you would -"

"Oh yeah, I'm sure he's going through a really hard time," I mocked, the irritation and anger I had felt not just minutes ago but over the past week flooding back into my system as quickly as it had disappeared. "What with his cushy apartment and endless vacation time to spend with his family, must be real hard on him right now."

She leant back in her chair, regarding me. "So you don't know yet."

I had no idea what she meant. "Know about what?"

"That Perry's wife left him."

My mind went numb from shock. What? Jordan left Dr. Cox? Why?

I didn't need to speak aloud. "She wants to give him time to decide what he wants from life - namely, if he wants to be with you or not."

The thought both filled me with hope and sickened me. "You mean she's moved out so that he can screw his mistress? I mean his master - I mean…" I shook my head hard, wondering why I was focusing on the least important mistakes here. "Whatever… you mean she just up and left? Because… of me?"

A small smile curled her cupids-bow lips up at the end, her fingers lifting up to push some of her strawberry-blonde hair behind her ear. "I think it was more because of him, but sure."

Guilt began to toy with my stomach. "So… now he's staying here?"

"I don't think he's coming back here but yes, he's sticking around in town for a while."

I swallowed hard, not particularly wanting to ask the next question. "Does he want to see me?"

Don't be so stupid. You told the guy you loved him by accident, he had sex with you, admitted he loved you and then told you he was leaving to save his family. He obviously wants to wrap you up in his arms and call you 'darling'.

She chewed on her lower lip - that was enough for me to know the answer to that one. I asked another. "Is he… happy?"

"He's confused," she replied, toying with her car keys. "Doesn't know quite what he's doing but he'll… work it out. Worst case scenario is he leaves town after all, making a completely fresh start without either one of the two people he wants to be with."

I sat back in my chair, still somewhat overwhelmed with this new piece of news.

"I totally didn't see this coming."

Lesley smiled wryly. "I'm pretty sure he didn't either."

At this, I looked at her, eyes narrowing. "How come you know all of this and I don't?"

She began to look distinctly uncomfortable. "He… told me not to tell you. I would've text you otherwise."

"But… does that mean you're the only one that knows? Why did he confide in you?"

"I think a few people know, John - I don't know any names, he didn't exactly list them." I noted that she deliberately didn't answer the second question - I wondered if he'd slept with her, rebound-style. The possibility filled me with more pain than I had been expecting; Lesley seemed to see this and reached forward again, placing her warm little hand on top of my arm and stubbornly gripping on slightly.

"Honestly John, if he hadn't specifically told me not to -"

"So why are you telling me now? I'll ask again, why are you here?"

Back to chewing her lip. It annoyed me. Where was an intern when you needed to yell at someone? "He genuinely did ask me to come check up on you -"

I spluttered. "I'm not a child!"

"But he cares about you," she said earnestly, leaning forward. "He wanted me to make sure that you had someone looking out for you and you alone!"

"If he's that worried he can call me."

She snorted, pretty little nostrils quivering - it was so indelicate and so unlike her that I couldn't help but snort back. "Oh John, you really think big ol' Perry is going to call you right after the person he left you for has vamoosed? You really are dimmer than the average doctor."

Hmmph. "Fine, whatever. It doesn't make any difference anyway so I honestly don't get why you're here, telling me all of this."

"I'm here because he thinks I'll understand you enough to take care of you. And I'm telling you this because you have a right to know, whether he thinks so or not."

I opened my mouth to reply, but a shadow came out of nowhere and hovered over us; Dr. Kelso glared down at me, muffin in hand and anger practically radiating off of him. Lesley glanced from him to me before standing.

"I err… I should go."

Kelso pointedly ignored her (he must be REALLY mad). "Dr. Dorian, I'd like to see you in my office. Now."

Goddamned interns! Who have they killed now?!

I pushed my chair back, glancing at Lesley - she was backing out of the cafeteria, lifting her hand in a 'call me' gesture; I sent her a quick affirmative nod before following the miffed Kelso through the halls and into his office, stopping in the doorway and staring around me. I realised, to my surprise, that Ted wasn't in here like usual.

"Close the door Dorian and sit down. Your hovering makes me nervous."

I did as he asked, scooting quickly over to the chair opposite him and sitting down. My eyes drifted around the room once again before coming to land back on his. He looked at me for a few moments, still frowning.

My lips separated in preparation to stick up for myself and my shitty interns, but he got there first, stunning me with his words.

"So. How're you doing?"

I blinked. "…sir?"

"Been a tough few days with Cox gone."

Was he seriously trying to talk to me about Dr. Cox?

"Lots of extra work to do. God knows where I'm going to find a decent Residency Director to fill in for him."

I nodded, lost in my thoughts. If he knew what had happened at that hotel he would so not be talking to me about this.

His eyes flashed to mine. His tone became oddly gentle. "How're you handling it, son?"

I forced a smile. "I'm staying on top of things sir, no need to worry."

He nodded slowly, his eyes still on mine. "And you… want to stay here?"

Okay, what? "Yes, Dr. Kelso, of course I do." I stared at him, trying to work out what he was really saying. "I'm not going to leave just because Dr. Cox has - I'm a good doctor with or without him."

The smile that he bestowed on me was so grandfatherly, so kind that it made my heart wrench - my hands twitched, wanting to grasp at my chest. Please stop looking at me like that. "I'm sure you are, champ. I just know how hard it is to lose a mentor."

I gripped hard onto the arms of my chair. If you keep smiling at me like that I'm GOING to CRY. "I'm sure I'll manage fine without one - we all have to let go sometimes, don't we sir?" I forced a laugh but it sounded all wrong - his eyes were still on mine, assessing me, reading me, trying to get something out of me.

He leant forward.

"Dr. Dorian… I'm not good at this sort of thing and quite frankly it makes me uncomfortable but… I don't want you to let Dr. Cox's leaving destroy your place here."

I couldn't absorb the words - I was far too focused on keeping myself from crying.

I miss Dad.

"It's hard when we put ourselves out there and become emotionally attached. I may be a dinosaur but I genuinely do know what it feels like when someone you care about just ups and leaves."

I miss Dr. Cox.

"What I'm trying to say is… if you love someone that much that your whole life starts going pear-shaped without them, you have to make your move before it's too late."

My eyes focused properly on his.

What did he just say?!

A small smile twitched onto Dr. Kelso's lips as he stood, holding his hands behind his back and looking out of the window.

"It's not often you see relationships develop between doctors - you get the occasional two that come together and sure, some of them will last but in the end most of them give into the pressure. Working in a place like this together, it damn near tears you apart."

I knew my eyes were as wide as they could go but it was impossible to stop myself from reacting to this. Dr. Kelso was… comforting me. Comforting me because he had somehow picked up on something I had barely known myself until it was too late. Vaguely I wondered if things would have been different if I'd have understood my feelings sooner, back when I'd just started and he hated Jordan more than anything in this world…

"Dr. Dorian, are you listening to me?"

I jerked back to reality. "I'm sorry sir, what?"

He started to walk slowly around to my side of the desk. "My point is that if you want something enough, you've got to go for it. I've seen a fair share of doctors give in to the pressures of an outside life versus their career and a damn good half or so have been some of the best doctors I've ever known - don't become one of them, sport! If you love Perry that much then you damn well need to get out there and do something about it! Because I promise you, if you don't -" He came to stand next to me, a strange mixture of my Chief of Medicine and my grandfather. " - you'll come to regret it. Either your life or your career will go down the drain and in all honesty son, right now I don't think you even have a life to lose."

Looking up at him I knew what he was saying was true - and it cut to the bone. I'd reduced my life to a fraction of what it had been before whilst chasing an impossible goal - but now, was that goal so impossible? Could I actually take a risk and get what I really wanted for a change?

I stood. "Sir, I… thank you."

He looked up at me, grandfather smile back again. "I think Perry Cox is an asshole, but if he makes you happy then I think someone needs to kick you into action. Life is short and all that."

Confusion flooded me. "But… how did you know about all of this? How did you… why are you helping me?"

So many questions, all the damned time.

"Because you're a damned good physician, Dorian. I've just lost my Residency Director, I don't want to go losing my Chief Resident too."

I half-smiled.

"Plus anyone could see where you were headed."

Hmmph. Again. "Couldn't you have warned me?" I found that I was only half-joking.

"And spoil all the fun? Don't be a killjoy Dorian, it doesn't suit you." He walked over to the door, a signal that this 'meeting' was over - so no yelling because of my crappy interns? No 'shape in or ship out'?

As I stepped out of the door he tapped me on the shoulder - I turned. Grumpy-face was back.

"Get a grip on your interns. Fire a few if you have to, but stop letting them kill all of your patients! Grow a backbone, for gods sake!"

The door slammed in my face.

X X X X X

The day dragged. I sent Lesley a text thanking her for her impromptu visit and asked her to give me a call later in the week so we could meet up and actually do something fun - I fancied bowling or something similar. It had been a while since I'd actually gone out and done something sociable without Dr. Cox being attached - for example going out to the club, going out for dinner, going to the hotel… it would make a healthy change. Despite Dr. Kelso's and Lesley's best attempts I had decided that I'd give Dr. Cox the chance to sort things out in his life before I got in touch; in the end, he had left to give me the same chance and I felt I owed it to him to do the same.

I knew it wouldn't be easy. I knew that, more than anything in this world, I wanted him to be mine and mine alone, but I also knew that it was impossible. Jordan leaving aside, he would never give himself to me in the way that I wanted him to - he had already surpassed every expectation I'd ever had of him and to ask for more was just… too idealistic. Yes, I was a dreamer, but I was also trying not to be a fool. So far it hadn't worked so well but maybe now it would work. Maybe now I had enough sense about me not to screw up.

By the time my shift ended at 11pm I'd fired three interns - I could barely believe it myself - and was very much ready to just head home and hit the hay. I clocked out, bidding my goodbyes to both Turk and Carla (both of whom gave me extra big hugs - I'd avoided them recently and I knew that they were worried about me) and walking down the hallway - I saw Sasha waiting for me, gleaming in the moonlight… just the idea of driving home and having to actually walk alllll the way to my apartment and alllll the way into my bedroom made me dread the amount of effort it would take. Since leaving the hotel, everything had been an effort.

The double doors slid to let me out.

I froze.

Dr. Cox pushed himself off of the wall and stood a little distance away from me, eyes unwavering as his x-ray silvery gaze met mine; for a few seconds he simply looked at me, running his eyes over me, probably taking in the dishevelled state I was in from lack of sleep in recent days - I suddenly felt unkempt, unattractive and worst of all, vulnerable.

He jingled his car keys.

"Want a ride?"

My eyes slid from him to my scooter. He noted this, shrugging.

"It's your choice Moesha, but either way I want you to come over."

I narrowed my eyes. "Come over where?"

A smile twitched on his lips - I felt the usual buzz. Would he ever stop being so damned compelling to me? "To my apartment."

"Couldn't you have…" I stopped. Couldn't he have what? "I don't know, called first?"

He raised an eyebrow, clearly amused. "And give you the chance to make excuses? No way, Kimmy. So what're you gonna do, ride your sewing machine or get in the car?"

I hesitated. He stepped forward - the scent of him washed over me, overpoweringly familiar and devastatingly sexy. I shut my eyes for a second, marvelling in it.

"I could always just kidnap you."

Please stop doing this.

"Doing what?"

My eyes flew open. Shit. I hadn't realised that I'd spoken aloud. "Giving me… hope?"

His body was so close now that I could feel the heat of him; I swallowed hard, determined to keep my wits about me. "I think I'd be right in assuming your little friend came to visit today and told you a few things?"

I nodded. His mouth set itself into a grim line.

"You'd think I'd know by now nawt to trust women."

I nodded again, dazed.

"So, in telling you my piece of news, that somehow didn't give you an inkling that I'd be coming for you?"

His phrasing sent shivers down my spine. Stop it, stop it, stop it. "Your wife just left you."

"Ex-wife."

"Fine, whatever," I said, waving the inconsequential information away. "I didn't exactly think what you needed right now was your whipping boy."

To my horror, the crooked grin I was so enamoured with flickered across his face. I was very quickly losing my willpower. "Don't tempt me Newbie, I swear to god."

Frustration welled up inside of me. "I don't… I don't know what the right answer is here! If I come with you it's like I'm saying you don't care that your long-term partner and your son have disappeared out of your life, but if I don't… if I don't…"

"If you don't…?"

I allowed myself to fix my gaze upon his. The intensity of his gaze rendered me senseless. "If I don't I clearly have too much common sense."

Without a word, he stepped close enough to me that our bodies were practically touching, his nose just millimetres from mine. "If you'd had any common sense in the first place we wouldn't even be standing here, Newbie."

As usual, he was right. It didn't help. "Dr. Cox, I… I'm sorry."

He frowned. "For what?"

"For making your family leave you."

He looked at me for a second before sighing, stepping away from me and turning to face the parking lot.

"I've had the past week to think this whole situation through, kid, and if there's one thing I've learned it's that you can't just look at the bad side of things."

It was my turn to frown. "Who are you, and what have you done with Perry Cox?"

His head swivelled round to face me. The grin was a shadow, but was still there. "If it wasn't for your little friend I wouldn't have gained such… objectivity."

I wasn't sure whether to be grateful to Lesley or not. I still didn't know quite what I was doing.

"Now you know me Newbie and you know that listening to anyone when they're spouting advice is just about one of my least favourite activities in this world - I mean, you remember what happened last time you tried?"

"You broke into my apartment and commandeered my bed."

"Thaaaat's right, Melinda. But that girl, she…" He hesitated, looking at me. "She reminded me so damn much of… well, you."

"Seriously, who are you?"

Without warning, he reached forward and pulled me by my scrubs until I was pressed against him, his lips just inches from mine. When he spoke, the heat of his breath and the beautiful vibrations of his voice through his chest made me go light-headed. "I'm someone who's too far gone to just 'wait and see'."

I exhaled shakily.

"I've been given an opportunity and for once in my very unfulfilling life I'd actually like to take it, to take a risk and see where it leads me, to do something re-he-eally stupid and not have to face the repercussions."

"But Jordan -"

His lips came down upon mine, briefly, lips surprisingly warm against the cold air; as quickly as he had kissed me he pulled away, pulling me away from the main doors and kissing me again, hard. When he pulled away, I was breathless.

"Jordan left me to give me a chance to figure out where I want to be and who I want to be with. Now, I don't know where or who that is right now. Understand that, first off."

I did understand. I nodded hesitantly.

"I drove here, waited for an hour and a half and just kissed you in front of a hospital where practically everybody in it knows who I am."

The reality of his words left me temporarily stunned.

"Now, I've made up my mind as to where I'd like to be tonight. I'm going to be in my apartment, relaxing with a scotch or two and maybe shove on a movie."

Another nod. I could barely do anything more.

"I only know what I want right now, right this second. I've realised that if I have this time to 'figure things out', I'm going to have to do it day by day, making decisions as they come into my head."

I went to speak, but his finger came to rest lightly on top of them - they smelt of the leather of his steering wheel.

"So the decision I've made for today is to come here, pick you up, take you back to my apartment and… spend some time with you."

I couldn't have been more shocked if he'd thrown me over the nurses station and had sex with me right there and then. Just… spending time? No mention of sex? Just… actually being in each other's company?

I felt dizzy.

His hands grasped the top of my arms tightly - I felt his fingers slip across the bruises he had left from the last time he had done this, and felt a surge of emotion rush through my system. He seemed to see it in my eyes, loosening his grip slightly and leaning forward, his gaze completely and utterly focused on mine.

I finally found words.

"Just… time?"

Crooked grin, crooked grin, crooked grin!

"There's a first for everything. If I don't like it, I'll just jump your bones instead."

A smile flitted across my face. He raised an eyebrow, stepping away from me, turning his body to half-face the parking lot.

"It's your choice, Newbie. Are you coming, or staying?"

Two minutes later and I was sitting in the front-seat of his car, practically pooping myself from a mixture of fear and anticipation.