Temperance Chapter 25: A Shard of Eternity
"Do I have to sit here all day while you work on random things for your king?" I asked frustrated, two days had passed and Boromir had been insistent that I remained by his side. After the first night I had made an agreement that I would not climb out the windows if he would let me be alone at night. He only agreed under the condition that the two guards remained outside the door.
Though he had kept his word and left me alone at night I barely slept. I was not going to let my guard down and somehow I think Boromir knew this. I had become very comfortable around him and though he was my enemy I was felt oddly safe around him.
"You were put under my care that does not exempt me from my other duties though. If you are bored you could read a book." Boromir said not looking up from his papers. I sighed and said.
"If I took the two guards with me could I look around?"
"I don't think so. You have already proved that you can get away from people if you want to; I have no doubt that if you went with the two guards you would lose them within minutes. It seems that avoiding people is something you have become quite good at."
"Unlike my skills with the sword you mean?" I said as some long forgotten memory, of a man telling me my skills with the sword were terrible, surfaced. Somehow it seemed connected to Boromir, the memory. When I spoke Boromir gave me a curious look as if it was odd that I made the comment. Perhaps the comment was somehow familiar to him as well, if it was he didn't say anything about it.
I sighed and settled into the chair I had been occupying and waited for him to finish with his work. After a few minutes Boromir began to hum a tune that was familiar. I listened for a moment trying to place the song but its name and words eluded me. As he hummed the melody of the song was clear in my mind. It was a song I loved; only he was messing the song up. Just in that moment he changed the melody slightly and messed up the song. It was irritating; couldn't he remember the melody of one song?
"You are messing it up." I said quietly rolling a quill between my fingers. Boromir stopped humming and looked up at me before he asked.
"Would you remind me of how the song is meant to sound?" Was he seriously asking me to sing? Did he expect me to just do whatever to entertain him? I wasn't going to sing, not for him. If I sang it was because I wanted to and not because some man asked me to. Regardless the words to that song eluded me.
"No." I said flatly and expected that Boromir would try to persuade me to change my mind.
"Oh, I just thought that since you knew the song you would like to sing it. I guess I was wrong."
"Yes you were wrong. I am not going to just sing because you want me to. Why would I?"
"No real reason why I thought you might sing is because you always used to sing. You always knew strange songs that I had never heard before."
"What the heck are you talking about?"
"You always sang strange songs, when I first met you; you sang a song that was about people's goal in life to get rich. I believe it was something like Pink loid." {He means Pink Floyd but he doesn't remember the name exactly} Yes I remembered that song but I don't remember ever singing it around Boromir. It was odd he seemed to know things about me and how I was that I didn't remember. I could not figure how he knew these things about me. Perhaps he had a spy or something in Barad-Dur that informed him of these things. It was a strange tactic though if that was the case. It would be more useful to know about Annatar instead of me. Why would he know what songs I sang though? That information would be completely useless in any tactical plan. So why did he have his spy find out about me?
I found it hard to believe that he might have heard about me and decided that he would steal me from Annatar. It somehow did not match with Boromir's character. He did not seem like he was the kind to try and torment a person by stealing the one they loved. Even if that was his intent it would not have worked with Annatar, though he loved me he was far too devoted to his kingdom to allow personal matters to affect him so. Not that Boromir had any chance at stealing me from Annatar. Even though I had been stolen physically there was no way that Boromir would be able to make me love him over Annatar. That was simply impossible, Annatar was part of who I was and in the same token I was part of who he was; sharing your soul with a person did that to you and it was not something that could be undone.
True I did not agree with all that Annatar did but at the same time he was one who would listen and was willing to hear my opinion. It saved him several negotiations and prevented at least one war with a potential ally. Those at Barad-Dur would call me 'the dove of mercy' for the fact that I was the only one who was able to convince Annatar to spare the lives of those that disappointed him. Though I was not without my own sense of ruthlessness; should they fail Annatar again I dealt with them and their punishment. While I personally did not administer the punishments as I was physically too weak they were normally worse than what Annatar would normally do. It was a scare tactic that we implemented after I set Annatar's room on fire after a fight. So while I was 'the dove of mercy' I was also known as 'the lady of fire' for I did not give subordinates a third chance. Many thought that the Nazgul only obeyed me because I had punished them in to the point that they were afraid to dare disobey me. That however was not true; I had never had trouble with the Nazgul disobeying me. We all knew the chain of command, Annatar was our king but I was second to him, third would have been the witch king but he died in battle. Since then he hadn't had time to appoint a new leader of the Nazgul. In all reality it would be a clear choice to have the bearded one as the new leader. His name had been forgotten long ago along with all the other names of the Nazgul. The Witch King had been allowed to retain some individuality because he had been the lead, now they would have to give the bearded one a defining title. It was the expectation that the leading Nazgul was given a title to be defined apart from the others.
I looked at Boromir who was focused on his work and sighed getting up and going over to the bookshelves looking at the titles hoping there would be something I could understand. It had long been popular to write in elvish and that for the elves was good, only I did not know elvish and could not wrap my head around the language. True I understood and could speak the black speech of Mordor but I was hopeless for writing or reading it. The letters were so similar in shape and style to the elvish that I had failed to learn it. So when the need for me to write came about I either wrote in a language and style that no one else seemed to understand or I found a scribe which usually ended up being one of the nazgul. Annatar had found it strange that I had been unable to read or write the elfish letters but adopted the language I wrote in as a sort of code. He used it for documents that were not to be trusted in anyone's hands but our own, though he had a tendency to make the letters more curved and elegant like the elvish script.
As I looked over the books not one was in a script I understood, though I could feel Boromir's eyes on me. So I grabbed a random book and opened it pretending to read. Just after the door opened and a man walked in with some papers and started talking to Boromir about Osgiliath. He stood blocking Boromir's view of where I stood and consequently the open door. Boromir began talking to the man with a frustrated tone, something about the structural security of the remaining buildings. The man sighed and unrolled a huge scroll across the table and started pointing at something to which Boromir started to study the parchment.
I glanced at the open door; there would probably at least one of the guards outside. They had been reluctant to be near me though, so I had a rather good suspicion that they wouldn't grab me to stop me from running. All I had to do was get past them. I edged towards the door walking lightly so as to not make any sound. As I got closer to the door I realized that the guards were indeed outside, both of them. They were looking bored though so if I sprung out and ran they would probably take a moment to realize that they had to follow. I glanced Boromir's way again; he was still studying the scroll, so I dropped the book and ran.
"Senia stop!" Boromir yelled after me as I burst from the room and into the hall startling the guards as I ran past. Courtly women and noble men parted in the halls as I came running. I lost one of my slippers and stumbled slightly looking quickly over my shoulder to see Boromir yelling at the guards who were now following me. A smile spread across my face as I started sprinting kicking off my other slipper in the process.
"Senia! Someone stop her!" Boromir yelled at the people in the halls those the women all looked too shocked and frightened to do anything. The men mostly looked shocked and some frightened. Indeed they had told the people that Senia was alive and well, but until now not many had seen me. I suspected the sight of a dead woman was frightening to them, all the better.
Within moments I was down another hallway and heading up a flight of stairs. The guards that were chasing we were nowhere in sight and Boromir's yelling was faint almost inaudible. I smiled to myself and kept running down the hall looking for somewhere to hide out until I could find a way out of the city. I started trying to open doors and found several of them locked. Indeed the fifth door finally opened which was just my luck as I could hear people running down the hall behind me. I closed the door silently and slide the lock into place. Perhaps I would get lucky and not be found.
"Are you hiding or did you actually come to visit me?" A woman's voice sounded softly from behind me. I turned to see a very pregnant elf sitting next to a table where she was embroidering a blanket with leaves in a twisting pattern that was a popular theme in Imladris. I stood uneasy for a moment, what the heck was I supposed to do? If I told this woman I was hiding then she would no doubt know that I was the supposed Senia. Then she would call for the guards and I would be caught. I wouldn't harm this woman even though she was my enemy. She was pregnant and an unborn child was innocent regardless of what flag it was born under or who sired it. Children were what made the future, had it been Annatar faced with this situation he would not have had any reservations about killing the woman and child.
"So you are here to hide. That is alright, I understand you have been with Boromir since you arrived several days ago. He can be overwhelming sometimes, so you are free to stay here with me for a time if you wish. Please sit." The woman gestured to a chair across the table and I cautiously walked over to the chair and sat. We were the only ones in the room and once I sat she continued to work on the blanket.
"If you know who I am then why aren't you calling the guards or something?" I asked rather confused by the woman.
"Senia you don't want to be found I understand this, which is why I haven't called the guards. Besides I have been meaning to speak to you for some time." I frowned at the woman who just gave me a small smile before changing the color off thread she was working with.
"Would you tell me about yourself?" I had a smart remark prepared for the woman but I starred at her dumbstruck, she wanted to hear about who I was. She wasn't assuming that I was Senia; did she honestly want to know who I was?
"I thought you people knew all about me, so why bother asking?"
"You have said many times that you are not Senia, so I want to know who this woman who sits before me is? For she does look like Senia did when she died."
"I have always been with Annatar, the one you call Sauron. I have aided him in his rule of Mordor and his kingdom for years. It was only recently that I have been forced to deal with matters outside of his kingdom. When the humans started to rebel and the wars of the third age started."
"How did you come to live with Sauron? Forgive me for being forward but I am curious." The woman said and I frowned, I couldn't remember exactly when I came to live with Annatar, the oldest memory I had was the day that I set his room on fire after we fought over something. It is hardly important seeing as we share part of his soul."
"I find it hard to understand how you can only remember a fight where you set his room on fire. What is your oldest memory?"
"Why do you care? Who are you anyway?" The woman smiled and set the needle down not bothering to work on the blanket anymore while talking to me.
"My name is Arwen, which is not important at the moment. I just want to know what Sauron did to earn your loyalty. You say things like memories are not important because you share your soul with his. How did you come to share your soul with him? Why did he see fit to give you part of his soul and make you look like he does?" I frowned at Arwen, she was the queen and the child was that of Elessar. Why did she want to know so much about me and Annatar? It wasn't really any of her business how I came to share my soul with Annatar. Might as well answer her, if she got bored with me I was sure she would have the guards in and hauling me away in chains.
My frowned deepened as I realized that I could not recall the details, I knew what had happened yes but they were not from my eyes. They were the memories that children had the memories that they were told happened but they couldn't actually remember on their own. Though what had happened before the fire I set? What were we fighting about that caused me to set fire to the rooms? It was something big I remember that but what exactly I could not recall. The more I thought about it the more my head started to hurt as if I was hitting my head against a wall.
"What is the matter? You look like you are in pain." Arwen said as I closed my eyes and rubbed my forehead.
"It is just a headache. I am fine. What was it you were wanting to ask me?"
"Please don't trouble yourself over my questions. I was merely curious but it seems that my prying has caused you to fall ill. Perhaps you should rest?" Before I could respond there was a knock at the door before it was opened and in walked Elessar. He didn't look shocked that I was there with his wife at all. He entered the room followed by Boromir and I had to suppress a sigh, so they had figured out where I was.
"Good afternoon Senia I see you are causing Boromir some frustration. How have you been?"
"I'd be better if I wasn't tied to his apron strings all day. How long was it until you figured out I was here?"
"One of the handmaids told us that she heard someone talking to Arwen. Since Boromir lost you when you came up to this floor we figured it was you with Arwen."
"I wonder why this woman has been under constant guard since she came here, she has been perfectly pleasant with me. Though you mentioned you had a headache, perhaps it would be best for you to rest." I stood realizing that I was being sent away, it didn't matter anyway. Now that Boromir found me the game of hide and seek was over and I had to accept that I was once again caught. I walked past Elessar and Boromir pausing at the door I said over my shoulder.
"Maybe we will have another little chat soon." With that I left and walked down the hall, the two guards met me in the hallway and followed on either side of me. I heard Boromir sigh and follow coming to walk next to me.
"So why did you run and hide in the queen's rooms?"
"I was bored." I said simply crossing my arms behind my back and walking on the balls of my feet so I was slightly taller next to Boromir.
"That is seriously your reason? I would have thought that you would try and escape…again."
"Her majesty wanted to have a little chat, so I humored her. Besides I pity her." Boromir gave me a questioning look and I smiled and said.
"Because she has to have that man's child. It is a real pity because she could have done much better." Boromir frowned at me and said.
"You used to call that man friend. He was the one who taught you how to hold a sword and deserves your respect at the very least."
"I don't owe any of you anything!" I said before losing my balance and stumbling forward only to have Boromir grab my arm steadying me. I pulled my arm away from him and gave him a glare before I said.
"Don't touch me." With that I hurried off to my room leaving Boromir behind in the hallway. My headache was slowly ebbing away from thinking on my memories that somehow did not make sense to me. I would have to sit and try to come up with a conclusion as to why my memories were so scrambled and lacking. Arwen had tackfully pointed out that my memories and past was troubled and woefully incomplete. It made we wonder what exactly was hidden within my memories that I could not remember.
Meanwhile in Mirkwood…
"My Lord what is the matter?" One of the Nazgul asked as Annatar had a pained expression on his face. He gasped and said.
"Someone has made my dove examine her memories I gave her. She is beginning to realize that they are not her own." The nazgul exchanged a look then the one from before asked.
"My lord what do you want us to do about this?"
"I have stalled her from discovering the truth for now. It will not be long until they have made her question the memoires too much and the false memories fail. I give you the title of Captain, go now and bring her back. Three of you remain here with me." Annatar said tired and out of breath. The newly appointed head of the Nazgul bowed and left the room with four others while three remained to defend Annatar who was still bedridden and weak.
( Yeah so if you are wondering why there seems to be so many holes and errors in how Senia's false memories match up it is because Annatar is still recovering from nearly dying again. If you recall in the book he hides out in Mirkwood until he's recovered his strength and returned to Mordor. Considering that he only became a problem again in the years before the lord of the rings started I am going with the assumption that it will take him quite a while to fully recover. I will probably make it a little sooner than the 3000 some years that it took before for the simple fact that I like the idea of some showdown between Boromir and Annatar. After all they both love Senia in their own ways. The real fun bit is going to be when the Nazgul with their new leader, Captain. I wonder how Nazgul who aren't at full strength will go about rescuing a woman from the very heart of Minas Tirith? Let me know if you have any amazing ideas about what should happen.)