You know I grew greatly confused while writing this. Apparently gondolas are not only the boat, but also the air things... Yeah I've lost it.

Chapter 25

Leia was almost halfway back to the gondola that would carry them to Theed by the time Luke left the house, and he had to run to catch up. He caught her right as she was approaching the gondola station, and, sensing Luke's presence, Leia turned around. Her eyes were red and puffy, and her lip bleeding. She looked nothing like the royal princess she had to be. She looked… well she looked the same way she had the day it finally clicked in her mind that her aunts could never nag her again because they were just gone.

"Leia, please," Luke pleaded, speaking to her as if she was a frightened animal. In many ways she truly was. Human beings, even at their best, were just evolved animals, and Leia wasn't just frightened-she was terrified. She was running from the truth, and that meant she was running from Luke. "Just let me talk."

But Leia did not. She took one more step away from Luke and onto the gondola. He rushed to catch up to her, force her to listen to him, but the transport had already pulled away far past Luke's ability to jump, the Force be damned. Cursing Luke sat down to wait for the next lift. As he sat Luke noticed some leias growing over on a ridge. Figuring the next lift was still far off he went over to grab the expensive flowers. He was on Naboo after all, and he surely couldn't leave without going to see his mother's grave. Perhaps there he'd find some sort of maternal wisdom he sorely needed, because he didn't know how else he could possibly get through to Leia. Not when Leia didn't even want to speak to him.

The next cart finally showed up, and Luke traveled alone back to Theed. None to his surprise Leia was nowhere to be seen in the station, and when he moved a bit further down the street to the shipyard, he discovered the Falcon was gone as well. Luke didn't know what Leia had told Han, but obviously they'd left without him. He wanted to curse his sister, but Luke instead found himself laughing. He was more than a little hysterical, but all of a sudden Luke remembered hearing one of his classmates complain about their older sister 'forgetting' she was supposed to take her little brother home from school.

His classmate had ended up just calling their father and getting a ride, but obviously Luke couldn't do that. He still sensed his father's presence on the planet, or at least in orbit above it, but Luke was not about to call for a ride. He'd never make it back to Leia if he did, and they needed to talk.

"Why is my family so kriffing complicated?" Luke muttered to himself kicking up a little bit of dirt as he turned towards the graveyard. "I swear other people do not live like this."

And maybe they didn't, but maybe they did. Luke didn't doubt that life was complicated for everyone. He still found it hard to believe, however, that most people had a father who had killed their mother but not really because she lived long enough to give birth to twins who were then separated and one went to live on a farm and the other went to be a princess and then the boy on the farm got arrested for being part of the princess's rebel alliance and the boy met their father and that father was the head of a military empire that attempted to rule the galaxy with force and was fighting the princess's rebels and then the boy was raised to accept his role as prince and learn to fight as a Jedi who were the sworn enemy of his father but also what his father used to be and then the brother met the sister and she hated him but he always felt something for her and then the boy was told he had to destroy his sister's rebels and he didn't even know she was his sister so he went to do it but then his sister found out and then she got her brother arrested but then not really and then the sister got kidnapped and tortured by the father so the brother went to rescue her and then he found out they were siblings and he couldn't tell her because their father had killed her family and then…

Luke couldn't even keep going; he'd lost track about four run-on sentences back. All he knew was that his life was ridiculously complicated, and it all started when his mother died. If she had lived they would never have lived such messes of lives, but she hadn't. The tomb that loomed in front of Luke was proof enough of that.

"Hi Mom," Luke whispered, the anger and frustration dissipating as he placed the leias on her grave. "I brought you leias. I would have brought you Leia, but she won't come. I guess you knew she was my sister all along… Force, I don't know what I'm doing. Leia tried to kill him; I had to tell her! But now she hates me again and I can't handle it. I just want us to be a family, but I guess that possibility died with you."

"I'm so sure there is good in him, but he doesn't want to be good. He blames himself for your death. He thinks he should be punished for it, but the ones who are paying are Leia and me. I feel so lost. And I know you can't give me the answers I need. I know I should just meditate and ask the Force what to do but… but the Force isn't my mom. I know I'm too old for this but… but I need you."

And yet she wasn't there. She had been dead for as long as Luke lived, all because of their father. Maybe Luke was wrong then to want to save him. Maybe he was as horrible as Leia thought and Luke was just too weak to do what needed to be done. But so be it. If not being able to kill his father made Luke weak then he'd be weak over strong any day. But being weak was hard, and Luke just wished there was someone to shoulder the burden with him. Some tender loving mother to guide him.

"Luke?"

For a split second, a pitiful moment, Luke turned around expecting to see his mother's form standing before him. But of course it wasn't his mother, but in a lot of ways it was as close as Luke got. The years hadn't been kind to Nila Difdin. She looked well and truly old, but she was pushing seventy, so it made sense. Her eyes, nonetheless, were alight with the same glowing-stars that Luke had hidden in his closet. He'd never been able to throw out the childish decorations that had been the first encouragement of his dreams. Oh how those dreams had failed him.

And yet Nila never had. She'd left of course, but Luke could not fault her for that. When a woman finds her granddaughter orphaned she has to step in, and obviously you don't just move that grandchild into Lord Vader's apartment. Plus Nila had stopped in many times over the years. She'd even come to Luke's graduation, though she'd left before the gala. That was the last time Luke had seen her, back on the last day of his old life. The months had aged her, but Luke didn't doubt they'd aged him in a far worse way.

"I'm sorry if I'm interrupting," the kindly woman said with a smile. "I know this is where your mother is buried. I just happened to see you come in and… well, to be honest I wasn't even sure it was you. You look older."

"You mean I look darker," Luke prompted his forced smile faltering. It was good to see Nila, and yet, and yet it just made Luke long even more for the family he lacked. "It's okay, you can say it. I've changed."

Nila nodded, and moved to sit next to Luke. It looked a little funny, old woman and teenager sitting on the ground in front of a mausoleum, but there was something undeniably right about it. "I follow you on the Holonet. I was terrified when I thought you'd been killed. I'm glad you've escaped."

"I didn't, not really," Luke admitted with a sigh. "I broke out, and then, well then I went back."

"Does it happen to have anything to do with this Leia?"

Ah. Luke shouldn't have been surprised that she'd heard his words. It meant a long explanation was due, and Luke couldn't help but feel glad it was so. He wasn't ignorant of the Force's workings in this case. After all these months for Nila to show up at his mother's grave of all places… no, Luke didn't believe in coincidences. "Princess Leia Organa… my twin sister. Apparently when Obi-Wan took me Bail Organa took her. I found out a few weeks ago when Alderaan was destroyed. When my father destroyed Alderaan to further torture his prisoner, Leia. I freed her and, in the process, turned my back on father. But what was I supposed to do? I was the only one who knew who she truly was, and I couldn't just let him kill her. And then how could I tell her knowing what he'd put her through? I should never have let her come to Naboo. I should have predicted she would follow me, try to kill him while we tried to reconcile. And then I couldn't just let them kill each other! So I told them the truth and now Leia hates me and my father thinks it's just more proof that he's not worthy of salvation!"

"And because your mother is gone you feel responsible for maintaining the family," Nila supplied grabbing Luke's hand. The teen hung his head, unable to hide the truth, and well aware of the fact that he was sick of crying and Nila's sympathy would just ruin him. "Luke, I can tell that you've grown up, but that doesn't mean you have to be the grown up. In the end you can only make decisions for yourself. You need to stop trying to force people to believe the things you do. In the end your sister will have to decide whether or not she wants to forgive your father, and your father will have to decide whether or not he wants to be forgiven. You can only give them the choices, not make the decisions for them"

Nila made it sound like Luke was the problem, the control freak, and he realized in many ways he was. He'd been acting like, well like the Emperor, or at least like Obi-Wan. Who said it was his job to protect them from the truth? Maybe if he stopped fighting their natures he'd be able to stop them from fighting. No, no maybe they'd be able to stop themselves. "But what if I stop and they destroy themselves."

"Then that was their choice, but it's better to give those we love the chance to fail then force them to be good. Besides, if you truly love them then you'll trust them to make the right decisions. The truth is, Luke, that you're not always right either, you don't have all the answers, so be honest with yourself and you may be surprised the truths you learn."

Her words sting, but what good advice doesn't? Only a fool believes that true inspiration lacks unpleasantness. True inspiration is what gets you past the unpleasantness. "Thank you," Luke whispered, and he even accepted Nila's hug. "I wish you'd never had to go. I think I would have spent a lot less time confused."

"You would have spent a lot less time getting yourself in trouble, but I doubt anything could keep you from being confused. You are a teenager after all," Nila teased him, and then stood. Luke was confused for a second why she was leaving so quickly, but then he noticed Leia standing nervously behind them. "Stop in next time you're home on Coruscant. You've been wrapped up in your own little galaxy for too long." She looked over at Leia. "You take care of my boy for me, will you? You can't leave him alone for too long or he'll get his leg stuck in a swoop-bike rack."

"That was one time and I was eleven!" Luke objected his cheeks rushing red. He was horrified at having that brought up in front of Leia. Leia, however, was laughing hysterically, and Luke didn't miss Nila's little wink as she disappeared into the rows of graves.

"Do I even want to know?" Leia asked her chuckle having died out quickly, but the smile still lingering by her ears.

Seeing her smile at him again made the embarrassment worth it. "My old nanny… Leia, I really am sorry for not telling you."

"Yeah, well I'm sorry for telling Han Vader had killed you and that we needed to leave," Leia admitted sitting down and curling up on Luke's right. Luke hesitated for a moment, noticing the way her eyes lingered on the stained-glass window depicting their mother, but he ended up sitting back down with her.

"How did he figure it out?"

Leia blushed, "Apparently I wasn't upset enough. Can you believe that he thought we were a couple?"

Luke cringed a little bit, but he could actually see where Han was coming from. Luke and Leia's relationship made a lot more sense when you knew they were not only twins but Force-bonded twins, but if you didn't know… Actually Luke wouldn't have been surprised if things had developed like that if he hadn't known. Thank the Force that hadn't happened. Luke could not imagine having kissed his sister. "I bet he was thrilled to know I was out of the way. He's been eyeing you for weeks."

"He has?" Leia's dumbstruck face was enough to push Luke into a fit of laughter, and she ended up hitting him before Luke stopped. "Oh stop it. You're trying to get back on my good side, remember?"

The leias Luke had picked for their mother were resting gently against the mausoleum, and Luke picked the nicest one to hand to his sister. Leia accepted it without even rolling her eyes, but Luke noticed her place it back on the tomb when she thought he'd looked away. "Leia, I really am sorry. I never realized that I've spent years complaining about people trying to manipulate me and I've been doing the same to you. I promise from here on out that I'm going to tell you the truth and then we'll make decisions together. It's our lives now, not just mine… that is if you want it to be. If you don't, well then I'll never tell another soul whose genes you carry and I'll expect nothing of you."

Leia hesitated for a long moment. Luke could tell that she was honestly considering his offer. If no one ever had to know, if it was never to be mentioned again, then she could just go back to her life. She could continue being Princess Leia Organa, daughter of Bail and Breha Organa. She wouldn't have to be a Jedi or have Imperial family members. She wouldn't even have to face the challenges that just liking Luke presented.

But Leia would also be living a lie. She could carry on letting the rest of the world believe that she fought for her father's legacy, but she would not be able to forget that she was, in fact, fighting her father. She wouldn't be using the Force, but she couldn't deny it was there. The whole rest of the galaxy wouldn't think she'd changed, but Leia would always know.

"You promised not to lie to me anymore Luke, so I need to know," Leia finally began. She took a minute with each word, but there was no malice in her voice. "Why did you not tell me?"

"You were upset about Alderaan and I didn't want to make it worse. Emotions aren't necessarily a bad thing, but when they get out of control they lead to the Dark Side," Luke explained plainly. Hadn't he already said as much? He could understand her wanting clarification but really it was a very simple issue.

Or so Luke thought. Leia on the other hand was staring at Luke as if trying to read every cell of him, "Are you absolutely sure that's the only reason?"

Luke almost went to say of course, but then he remembered Nila's words. She'd told him he needed to be honest with himself before he could be honest with anyone else. Was he being honest with himself? Was his only concern really just how Leia would feel? Did it all have to do with Luke not wanting her to be pulled towards the Dark Side?

No, no when Luke thought about it there was more at work. He hung his head upon realizing the truth, but he kept his promise and answered, "I guess there was a part of me that just didn't want to share Father. I never got adopted parents, I got our aunt and uncle, and they're not even blood related. Uncle Owen is father's stepbrother who he met once. They were kind and they were good but they never understood. Uncle Owen never saw me as his son, he saw me as Vader's kid who he needed to keep from going down the same path. And then I moved in with Father and everything was different. I had friends and people who cared about me, but he cared about no one but me. No one else in the galaxy was as important to him as me. I didn't want to have to share that. Force it sounds ridiculous, but I guess I was jealous, and I guess I worried that since you're more like mother he'd pick you over me."

"Well I don't think I'm about to become 'daddy's little princess'. You'll always be the one he raised. Even if we ever were to see eye to eye he'll always have loved you first.

" But you have to understand Luke that I did have both a mother and a father, and they were both killed by… by him. At the same time I would be proud to be the daughter of Padme Amidala, and nothing will stop you from being my kid brother," Leia finally admitted, and Luke shoved her a bit for the last comment. "Because we both know I am obviously the older one."

Luke quite literally stuck his tongue out at her, and she motioned as if to prove her point. "Next time we speak with Obi-Wan I'm going to ask him and you're going to cry."

"Just like you did when you were born. I would know, because I was already there," Leia taunted standing up and offering Luke a hand. He grabbed it and stood up himself, and for the first time the two twins stood in front of their mother's grave, together. "I still don't know how to see him as my father, though."

Luke nodded wishing he could understand. Maybe in that other life where he'd never left Tatooine Luke would have gotten it, but he doubted it. Uncle Owen would never have been a father, not the way Bail Organa was to Leia. "When you see the good in him for the first time then, then you will understand. But even then accepting Anakin as your father won't make Bail any less so."

"Anakin," Leia repeated his real name, and she didn't seem too repulsed by it. Anakin to her was the little slave boy Luke had described back on Tatooine. That little kid had sounded so good and brave. Leia could even recall the amazement in her father's voice when he once spoke about knowing the 'Hero with no fear'. Anakin Skywalker could be a good man and father, and Luke believed Anakin was still within Vader. Leia just had to see it.

"You know I need to be the one who tells people. If this gets out to the larger Alliance desertion rates will skyrocket, but Mothma needs to know. We don't want him using the lies to his advantage."

Luke doubted their father would. Most likely Vader was still reeling from the revelation, but once he accepted it Luke had no doubt that his fierce protectiveness would extend to Leia the same way it did Luke. Perhaps he would be even more so Leia being a girl, especially when she looked so much like their mother. "Just don't let Han know. He's terrified of Father and will probably think he's going to get frozen in carbonite for kissing you."

If Luke found himself teeth-first in the dirt, it had nothing to do with Leia. After all she hadn't touched him, and three weeks of Force training surely wasn't enough to knock over her master. Luke couldn't even suggest such a thing without seeming thoroughly inept himself, so surely it wasn't possible. Surely.