Feral Outtake
DISCLAIMER: ALL THINGS TWILIGHT BELONG TO STEPHENIE MEYER.
A/N from opalaline:My beloved beta has a treat for you all, a tasty little morsel concerning Edward's thoughts about dinner in the cottage...enjoy.
A/N from JustineNicole6: Thank you to my lovely opalaline for letting me play with her Feralward. I had a blast! Hope y'all enjoy. ;)
EPOV
It's such a nice night, a perfect night to spend with Bella. Standing on the porch, I look around, liking what I see. The sun is about to set, I can hear movement inside, and there are some fantastic smells coming from the cabin. I check my pants, smoothing them where they've wrinkled. I want to look nice for Bella; I haven't seen her all day. I've missed her.
I knock on the door and listen to her soft footsteps coming closer. When the door opens, I let out a breath I didn't even realize I was holding. "Hi. You look beautiful," I say, wrapping my arms around her. I press my lips to hers, losing myself in her. She's so warm and soft I don't want to let go.
Bella moves away, asking me about dinner, but the pink color of her cheeks tells me she'd like something different. She pulls me inside and closes the door behind me.
I nod, watching her every movement and wanting to kiss her again.
We sit down to dinner, and Bella asks me about my day.
I tell her about Carmen and Eleazar's idea for a job. She doesn't seem to like it, so I try to explain. "Eleazar said it would be good for me to be out with other people . . . on my own." I'm a little nervous about it, and I tell her so.
Bella changes the subject, and I'm glad. I didn't want to upset her on our first date in her house.
"What else have you been up to? You and Jasper have been spending a lot of time together."
I finish chewing my chicken before I answer, "I like talking to him; he doesn't make me nervous."
Jasper's quiet ways are comforting to me, and he's always willing to help me when I have a question.
"Anything particular you talk about?" she asks, keeping her eyes on her plate. She's trying not to push, and I know she only wants what's best for me, so I tell her.
"Different things, but you and Alice a lot." I smile when I think about our last conversation.
"All good, I hope," Bella says, smiling and taking a bite of her dinner.
I'm so confused . . . Why would she think I would ever say something bad about her? I love her; haven't I said it enough for her to believe me? "I always say good things," I tell her, watching her face closely.
Her eyes get really wide and she takes my hand. "Edward, I'm sorry. I know you would never say anything bad about me. I was teasing. Just a joke."
A joke? But . . . that's not funny, and I tell her so, feeling even more confused than before.
"You're right, it's not. I'm sorry."
Afraid of ruining our night, I drop it. I know she'd never hurt me on purpose. I lift her hand to my mouth and kiss each fingertip gently. "Okay."
*O*o*O*
After we finish dessert—apple pie, and so good—Bella picks out a movie. We snuggle together on the couch, enjoying being together. As the show goes on, I find myself watching her. Her reactions to the movie are more interesting than the film itself, and I can't keep my eyes off her. I let my fingers slip through her hair, feeling her breaths in her chest. I'm torn. I want to kiss her, but I don't want to stop watching her.
Almost like she can read my mind, Bella looks up. She asks me something, but I don't know what. Her lips look beautiful, so I do the only thing I can do. I kiss her, starting with her soft cheek, moving closer to her mouth until I find what I'm looking for. She kisses me back, and I pull her as close to me as I can get her. I feel the heat from her body. It sends tingles through me. I feel myself becoming harder, and I want . . . I want . . .
The phone rings, bringing us both to a stop. I really hate the phone.
Bella stands up quickly to grab her phone, obviously surprised by it, and she trips. I reach out to help her, but she falls through my hands into my lap. Her hand brushes against my erection, and I shudder. I've never felt anything quite like that before. I moan as she pulls herself away.
"I . . . my . . . phone. I need to—"
I'm so annoyed and turned on (I think this is what Jasper called it), I can hardly stand it. I lay my head back against the couch, taking in deep breaths, trying to calm myself. I can't hear what she's saying, but I know it's Alice on the phone. I'm going to have a thing or two to say to Jasper next time we hang out.
Suddenly, Bella is beside me on the couch, but I don't move. I'm afraid of what will happen if I do.
"Are you alright?" Bella asks.
I take another deep gulp of air and let it out before answering, "Yes."
She slides closer to me again, but this time I only hold her hand. The movie plays on, but there's an odd feeling in the air I can't seem to ease. I continue watching Bella, and it looks like I'm not the only one who isn't paying attention. When the movie ends, we stand up and begin our goodbyes. I can't really concentrate on her words; I'm too distracted by her lips. I lean forward to kiss her goodnight, letting her smell and taste surround me before pulling away.
When I walk away from the cottage, I look over my shoulder to see Bella standing in the open door, watching me.
No, you can't turn back, I tell myself. Go inside.
I force myself into the main house and make my way to the kitchen. I drink a tall glass of cold water, trying to fight back this feeling. I don't know how to make it stop. I drop the glass onto the counter, so glad Mom and Carlisle are nowhere to be seen, and run up the stairs. I can't stop thinking about Bella and the way it felt when her fingers touched my very hard "wood," as Emmett would say. I close my bedroom door behind me, wincing when it slams loudly, and twist the lock on the knob.
I move to my bed, the bed where I used to lie with Bella, and I'm assaulted again by memories of her. I turn on my iPod, listening to the music Bella helped me find and I consider running to her. Maybe she can help me. Would she turn me away? She's helped me so many times . . . in so many ways . . . she's my whole world.
I stand next to my bed listening to the music, thinking.
Before I even know how it happened, I find myself standing in front of her door. The windows are dark, and it's very quiet, other than the raindrops starting to fall through the leaves.
I can't wake her up, no matter how much I feel like I need her. I shake my head, disappointed with myself for even thinking about waking her. Just as I turn to leave, I hear a moan through the door. Unsure of what to do, I press my ear to the cold wood, listening for the sound again. I don't hear anything more, so I move around the outside of the cottage toward her window. I know it's wrong, but what if she's hurt? I could never live with myself if there was something wrong with her.
I look into her window, terrified I might see her on the floor, hurt, but I see nothing. It's too dark. The clouds shift for a moment, sending a beam of light across Bella, lying in her bed. My heart sputters before beating faster than it ever has before. When the clouds move again and her room is black once more, I can't move. I'm frozen to the ground. The rain is falling around me, but I can't hear it. I can't hear anything . . . Wait. What's that? I listen harder until I hear my name. It's quiet, but getting louder and louder, and now it's just a moan again.
I push myself away from the window, rain dripping down my face, and I run back to the house. I shiver, but I'm not cold. I kick my shoes off in the entryway and head upstairs. I lock myself in my room—again—and rip my wet clothes off to slide under the covers. Since I never turned off the iPod, the music is still playing softly. The words of the song fill me, making me feel close to Bella, even though she's not here.
"If you ever feel lonely, and I'm not around, listen to this song and imagine me singing it to you, okay?" Her pretty skin turns pink as I watch.
I take her hand, holding it close to my chest. I want to thank her, but I don't know what to say. I lost my words when I looked into her eyes. Instead, I wrap my arm around her and pull her close, pressing my mouth against her lips. Keeping her hand between our bodies, I feel her breasts press against me, and I shiver. I open my mouth slowly, letting my tongue between her lips. We've only just begun kissing this way, but I like it, no I love it, and I don't ever want to stop. Bella pulls away long before I would, her breath moving fast. The tingling is back . . .
The feeling from that day has returned, but it's so much stronger than it was before. The picture of Bella sprawled out in her bed only moments ago, her hand buried between her legs, her face so . . . so . . . turned on, keeps flashing before me.
My hand slides down my body to touch my penis. It's so hard and so hot. I've touched myself before, but never when I've felt like this. I wrap my fingers around it and I moan. My hand moves with no direction from me, up and down, up and down. I keep thinking of Bella and all the times she's kissed me, touched me, looked at me with her big brown eyes, and my movements quicken.
"Mmmm," I moan. "Bella . . ."
I want her here right now. I want to do things with her we've never done before . . . I want to see her naked. I want to hear her say my name again, just like she said it in the cottage.
"Oh, Bella!" I try to keep quiet, but there is so much heat and pressure building I can't keep it down.
I kick the covers down and look at myself, at my hand moving, and suddenly, it's Bella's hand. Her pretty face is watching me and my hand is in her hair. Her tiny hand moves in ways I never imagined and I can't hold it back anymore. A shudder rips through my body as hot wetness streams through my fingers, covering my chest. Slowly, I drift back to my bed, back to reality.
Flickers of light move behind my eyelids as I become aware of time and space once more. There is still music playing, rain is tapping against the window, and I discover I'm covered in sweat. Fascinated, I watch my erection, so hard just a moment ago, soften and shrink. Who knew it grew that much?
I lie in bed, listening to the songs Bella picked out for me, lying in the blankets Bella washed for me, feeling the emotions Bella given me . . . there is nothing she hasn't done—or wouldn't do—for me. I'm so lucky. I sigh, thinking of my perfect girl.
After a bit of time has passed, I feel the need for a shower. The itch I was feeling has gone and I'm left with a bit of a mess. I look down at my chest and run my fingers through the sticky white stuff, wondering how it could possibly make a baby. Carlisle knows a lot, but on this, he must be wrong. I shake my head and climb out of bed to grab my robe. After it's tied tightly around my waist, I tiptoe quietly down the hall to the bathroom. Just as I'm about to open the door, my mother steps from her room, her hair a complete mess and her face surprised.
"Oh, Edward! I didn't expect to see you up so late." She looks at my hand and blushes bright red.
I quickly shove my hand into my pocket. "Oh . . . I'm just taking a shower," I tell her, feeling very stupid.
"Yes, well . . . goodnight," she says before turning and running back into her room.
I feel my face turn very hot and slam the bathroom door behind me. For the first time ever, I think I might like to live in my own house . . . or in a house with Bella. I smile, thinking of her again, and step into the tub to clean myself, wondering how long it will be before something like that could happen.
*O*o*O*
A/N: Please leave my dear beta some love! :)