Disclaimer—I don't own or make claim to the characters from The Walking Dead. I only own my original characters

Late evening, Friday, 4 days later…

I hear something and look through the window and see Rick walking up to his house. I take a step back as I see him look up at my window. I'm sure he can't see me, but he stares piercingly at the window, and it feels like he's staring into my soul. I see him alter his course a few steps to head toward my house rather than his own. I jump slightly, startled, but then freeze in place hoping he didn't see that and praying he doesn't come my way yet. I'm not ready. Tomorrow I'll be ready. He stops, continuing to look at my dark window. What are the chances the kids are all asleep and won't answer the door if he keeps coming, I wonder? Well, I could lie down and pretend to be asleep in any case. After visibly clenching his jaw, slowly, he turns and heads up his stairs to his porch and into his house. I exhale and realize I was holding my breath. Luckily I have a reprieve until tomorrow.

The next day, I'm up early. To be fair, I didn't really sleep much last night. I tossed and turned all night trying to think of the right words, the right way to convey my thoughts and running through many different scenarios of how it could go—both good and bad. OK, maybe more bad than good. I have a knot of dread in my stomach as I get up. I may as well use this energy to cook the kids something better than usual. There's no way I can eat, not with this knot of dread—I'd throw up. But, I can give the kids a good big meal before school for once. Something better than cereal or oatmeal. It'll be nice, since they are having to go to school on Saturday. With so much happening with the war, school was out for a bit there last week and before, as everyone was helping to prepare. The teacher decided to make up some time and hold class today. The funny thing is, the kids hadn't even complained. I think they were relieved to return to school Wednesday morning after being gone several days, and more than happy to go again today. The war was stressful on everyone, it helps to get back to 'normal.' As I prepare the meal, I try to ignore the 'last supper' thought that drifts through my mind. What if things go so badly we have to leave? The kids really love it here. "Cross that bridge if we come to it," I mumble under my breath. Besides, we'd still be better off than before, it's not like we'd have to go back out there. We have two other lovely communities that would love to have us. Even Oceanside would take us, although I'd rather avoid that one. Jordan needs some father figures in his life and there are none there. Stop, I tell myself. No need stressing over nothing. It may all go really very well! Think positive! I probably should have just stayed at The Kingdom and gotten it over with. I haven't had any great breakthroughs in how I'm going to communicate what I'm thinking and feeling to Rick.

Once breakfast is over, I round up the kids to head to school. Kayla has a shift at the pantry and Annie is working on some defense engineering with Eugene. They decide they'll all walk together to the school, the others peeling off as they reach their destination.

As soon as we set foot on the porch, the door of the house next door opens and Carl and Rick step out, with Carl holding Judith. She starts babbling at the group, chattering away. Rick is giving me that intense look again, but I can't get a gauge of his emotions, so I'm not sure whether to expect an explosion or not.

The kids pull ahead as Carl joins them, starting a discussion with Kira. Rick falls back with me. I look at him warily and say, "Hey."

He looks incredulously at me. "Hey? All I get is a 'Hey' after the stunt you pulled and then making me follow you all over creation!?" I look down and say, "Umm, sorry?" I hear Rick scoff under his breath. Yep, this is going to go so well. My heart drops, but I defend myself, saying, "Seriously though, I didn't plan that. I fully planned on grabbing a shower and then having it out with you that day at Alexandria. I just wanted to be clean first. Eugene…" he cuts me off, "Yeah, I heard what Eugene was up to."

I sneak a glance at him, asking, "Well, can you blame me?" He sighs. "No, I guess not. You have a right to protect your kids and he shouldn't have done that." I sigh in relief. "OK, we're on the same page then." He immediately responds with, "Hardly. There's going to be a lot of discussion before we're remotely on the same page. Right now. Today." I nod. "OK." He gives me that intense look again, asking, "OK, that's it? You aren't going to run anymore?" I shake my head, responding, "No, I always planned on having this discussion. Things just happened and it got delayed though. Today is good."

Rick lets out a breath of frustration, saying, "Well, I'm glad it fits your schedule because I wasn't going to give you a choice." I look at him. "I know. I only have one request." He quickly fires back, "Nope, I don't think you get any requests. It's happening today, right now, as soon as we drop off the kids." I look at the ground in front of me and roll my eyes. I'm agreeing, aren't I? I respond, "Yes, I know that and I agree. My request was just to do it privately so we don't put on a show for the whole town." He grumbles, "I would put on a show if I had my way. I'd like to put you over my knee!" I take a breath. "Please." He responds, "Fine."

I wave to Kayla as she peels off for the pantry and wish her a good day. A couple minutes later Annie separates from the group to head for the engineering area they set up. They both give me good luck gestures and looks of commiseration. They have heard the story of how I killed Negan from multiple people and have also heard the story of how angry Rick was. Luckily, they have no doubts about my ability to kill him, unlike Rick, but they know this is going to be a difficult conversation for me. I'm not sure that they know about the...other aspects to the conversation though.

We arrive at the school and Kira and Carl are still in deep conversation. Carl hands Judy to his Dad and he and Kira absentmindedly wave and walk in. Jordan hangs back looking nervous. Finally he says, "Mom, I think I'll skip school today." I just look at him, saying, "You think you'll just skip school?!" I give him a Mom look.

He responds, "Yeah, I want to hang out with you today." He sends a nervous glance at Rick and continues, "Make sure you're OK, and we can spend some time together! Remember you promised you'd teach me to sew?"

OK, obviously Jordan has heard about the disagreement between Rick and I as well and doesn't understand. "Oh, honey." I run my hand through his hair and continue, "You don't have to worry about me." I see Jordan shoot another quick glance at Rick. Yep, just what I suspected. "And you don't have to worry about Rick. We're just going to have a conversation that's been a long time coming and clear the air. Rick would never hurt me, you don't really think he would, do you? I mean, you know Rick. He's just not that kind of man, buddy."

Jordan visibly relaxes as I reassure him and says, "Well, I didn't think he was. But you've been avoiding him and I keep hearing people say you guys are going to have a big fight when he got back. So then I worried that you might get hurt if you're going to fight." Rick jumps in here, "Jordan, I just want to talk to your Mom, clear the air like she said. Did you really think I'd ever hurt your Mom?" Jordan then looks down in shame. Rick reassures him, "No, don't feel bad, don't ever feel bad for protecting your Mom. I'm sorry I made you think I might hurt her." I look at Jordan and ask, "Are you feeling any better?" He grins sheepishly up at me. "Good, cause you aren't getting out of school!" He smiles, hugs me goodbye, and then runs inside.

Rick says, "Just give me a minute," and he takes Judith into the house connected to the school where he's arranged for her to be watched for a while. When he returns, I turn to him and ask, "So…where do you want to do this?" He responds, "Well, we could go back to the house?" I shake my head, "No, that's too private." Rick makes a noise of frustration. "You just said you wanted to do it in private!" I look at him and say, "I know, but something in between, OK? Somewhere people can find us, but not eavesdrop for the Sunday Edition of the Alexandrian Gossip. Obviously everyone is waiting for a big blowout-even the kids are hearing about it."

Rick huffs in amusement. "They do like their gossip. Seriously though, you just assured Jordan that you had nothing to fear from me. Do you believe it, or do you secretly think I'm going to attack you the minute we're alone?" I respond saying, "Oh for the love of...! Fine then. Your house, let's go." I march off toward his house. He pauses, surprised, and then runs to catch up.

Rick calls out, "Slow down. Stop acting like you're the injured party here." I swing around, "Really Rick? You're injured?" He says, "You know what I mean." We walk in silence to Rick's house. He holds the door for me to enter and I immediately make a beeline to the kitchen, asking, "You want Coffee?" He says, "Sure, that'd be nice."

I pour some coffee in a mug for him and hand it to him where he's taken a seat at the table. I mix up a mug of hot chocolate for me and then take a seat as far from him as possible at the table. He looks at me knowingly, but lets it slide. He starts, "OK, would you like to explain to me what was going through your head back at the Sanctuary? We had a plan, all we had to do was stick to the plan and everything would have worked fine." I snort. "Until Negan slithered out of there and was gone in the wind with all his minions? Sure, that would have been just fine."

Rick says, "We had watch set up and there was no way he was getting out of there!" I shake my head and say, "He would have escaped the same way he's escaped every other consequence anyone has tried to set up. He has contingency after contingency set up Rick!"

"You should have stuck to the plan Sandi! We had everything covered. We thought of everything and accounted for it—hell, you helped plan it all, you should know that! We had a plan and you could have died by not sticking to it! We all agreed…" I cut him off right there saying, "No! You agreed, Rick! You wouldn't listen when I tried to tell you what needed to be done to ensure he died! You were so sure you had it all covered and you wouldn't listen to anyone else!"

He says, "So you just took it all into your own hands." I look down at my hot chocolate. "I suppose I did. I knew it would work and it did." He looks at me intently again, stating, "You put yourself in danger for no reason! You could have gotten yourself killed and then where would your kids be?!"

I erupt emotionally, "No reason! A world without Negan is a world my kids can survive in. I calculated the risks, I wore the riot gear, and I did my best to make sure I didn't get hurt badly. I accounted for all the variables and it worked! Even if it had cost me my life, my kids would have been better off and I knew you'd make sure they had a home in Alexandria!"

He gets up and paces around the kitchen saying angrily, "All the variables? What about the one where the bigger, larger man killed you?!" I shake my head. "I accounted for that."

"Oh, you accounted for that did you?" He walks over and gently yanks me up from my chair and softly brushes the corner of my eye where the bruise Negan gave me is just starting to fade to an ugly yellow from the equally lovely green. "Did you account for this? What about this?" He carefully brushes the side of my ribs while I take a soft inhale from the shock of him touching my bruised but yet unbroken ribs. "How about here?" His hand goes down to gently rub along my thigh where I had yet more bruising.

I'm silent at the shock of him knowing the extent and location of all my injuries. I mean, I knew the eye was obvious, but who told him the details about the other, hidden injuries? "You promised me you wouldn't go wading into those walkers. How can I trust you if you don't keep your promises?" I immediately defend myself. "No, that's not what I promised. I said I'd stick to the plan, that we'd surround them and take out the outposts. And then we'd deal with him. That's exactly what I did. I dealt with him after the outposts were down." He just stares at me. "That's not what I meant, and you know it. Even if you worded it carefully, you knew the intent of the promise I wanted from you, that you wouldn't go after Negan on your own, that we would do it together." I look at him skeptically. "Are you saying you would have let me go with you to kill him?" His eyes twitch, he knows I have him there. No way Mr. Controlling, Mr. Rick Grimes would have let me come close to Negan. I just sigh, "I had to do it Rick. I owed it to Dave, to the kids. I had to make sure. It was my right and I'm the one that had to do it."

He brings both hands up to hold me by the shoulders and give me the gentlest shake I didn't know it was possible to give, while getting his point across. He stares me down as he asks, "What if it wasn't just surface injuries, huh? What if he'd killed you or immobilized you enough for the walkers to get to you? What would I have done then?!" The intensity was strong as he stared into my eyes. I was pinned down by his eyes, unable to take my gaze away. I was startled as I saw tears gather in his eyes. "What if I'd lost you?" he murmured, while closing his eyes, hiding away his tears. "I just found you, I can't lose you."

Shame washes through me. I shouldn't have negated his thoughts on the issue. Regardless of what I thought about it or not, he had a true emotional stake in this. I had truly scared him—terrified him even. I reach up and put my arms around his neck and pull him in for a hug. He quietly cries on my shoulder. I hold him as he clings to me. "I'm sorry," I whisper. "I'm sorry."

A/N Well, how do you think their first confrontation went? At least they're finally talking and she now realizes how much she scared him.

Thanks for reading, I really appreciate you all coming back for more. If you liked this chapter please consider favoriting or following and I would love some reviews!