Disclaimer: As always I own nothing but the original characters and the situations all characters find themselves in. Thanks so much for reading, I hope you enjoy and let me know what you think!

Let It Out

It was shortly after dinner, he hadn't been back in his room for more than ten minutes, when Jamie heard the sound of someone tapping on his door. Setting aside the book he'd borrowed from the library on theories concerning time travel the redhead got out of his seat and headed for his door, opening it to find Sirius on the other side. A very uncomfortable, trying not to fidget Sirius Black, Jamie noted as he raised an inquiring eyebrow. "Yes?"

"May I come in?"

Not the best idea either of them had ever had, but it wouldn't be a good idea for them to get into some heated exchange in the hallway either. Stepping off to the side to make room for Sirius to pass, Jamie motioned for the other man to come in.

Nodding his thanks Sirius walked inside and kept going until he was no longer in the short hallway. Then he stopped and turned to face Jamie, waiting for the redhead to join him.

Doing so Jamie crossed his arms in front of him, figuring wryly that it was best to immobilize his hands as much as possible around the brunette looking up at him with such an odd mix of arrogance, regret, annoyance and embarrassment.

"So what's so important that it couldn't wait until tomorrow?" Jamie asked softly.

"I…I wanted to…I wanted to say something to you and I didn't want an audience when I said it." Sirius finally managed to get out, his annoyance over his struggle to express himself plain on his gorgeous face. This was not a man accustomed to having problems speaking smoothly. "I wanted to say that I…I'm sorry about what Bellatrix…how she…shit, dammit, fuck a duck!"

Normally he would have laughed but Jamie saw where this was going. Sirius was trying to apologize for Bellatrix's actions and since the Gryffindor wasn't used to ever apologizing for anything the other man was tripping over his words. That, plus the fact that Sirius probably had a lot of emotion tied up in his family that the boy wasn't at all used to expressing to himself, much less others. Blacks tended to be the type to bottle up their anger and pain and channel it into attacks against their enemies or the ones responsible.

"As previously expressed by myself and others, you have nothing to apologize for. Her actions reflect on her, not you. But that doesn't mean a hell of a lot, does it? She's still your cousin, you still share blood, and that eats at you. The same as it no doubt eats at her that she has a sister like Andromeda and a cousin like you."

"I hope it does." Sirius muttered, hoping that the Dark Lord was awful to his cousin for having relatives like him and Andromeda.

"I'm sure it does."

Meeting the redhead's understanding gaze Sirius struggled with all the words and thoughts and feelings that were welled up inside of him, choking him as they all struggled and fought to get out and be heard. But he didn't want them to be heard or expressed or known to anyone else. It was bad enough that he was become more and more aware of them.

But at times like this it felt like there was a lead bowling bowl in his belly and the weight of the world on his shoulders.

The other man didn't want his apologies, but he wanted to give them, Sirius thought in frustration. He wanted to apologize to the whole world for the actions of his family and the people he'd grown up with. Whatever it took to get all this vileness out of his system, he'd do it at this point. It felt like if he didn't he'd explode.

Studying the Gryffindor thoughtfully Jamie sensed the other man's need and helplessness, though he couldn't quite grasp what was going on in Sirius's mind. There was far too much going on from the looks of it. "What's wrong, Sirius? Bottom line."

Sirius studied the man in silence for several heartbeats and then spoke in a low voice. "Everything."

Jamie opened his mouth to ask what was all wrong and then closed it again. The boy wouldn't tell him, especially since he was getting the vibe that the Gryffindor wasn't even willing to talk to his best friend about whatever was eating him. One thing was for certain though, whatever was gnawing at Sirius had to be expressed before it consumed the Gryffindor completely.

Searching his mind for some way to help Jamie tried to think of how Andromeda and Teddy dealt with their anger as they were the only two people with Black blood he knew well. The Malfoys didn't count as far as he was concerned. Teddy was the type who didn't sweat the stuff but when he did get mad, well he got cold mad and ripped his prey to verbal shreds with a thoroughness that was downright scary at times. Andromeda did the verbally assaulting even better than her grandson, but when she was really upset by a variety of things where there was no clear target she did have a way of coping that he'd never witnessed but Teddy had told him about.

And that coping mechanism would work for her cousin now with a few minor tweaks, Jamie decided.

Retrieving his wand from his pocket Jamie used it to soundproof the room while Sirius watched him with wary interest. When that was done the redhead put his wand away again and turned his full attention to explaining to Sirius what they were going to do. "You know the spell, or one of the spells I should say, that will allow you to speak without me being able to hear you, right?"

Sirius gave the man a look that said he was insulted that Jamie had thought he had to ask.

"Then what you're going to do is turn and give me your back, cast one of those spells, and then you're going to yell."

"I'm going to yell?" Sirius repeated.

Jamie grinned. "Yell, scream, rant, bitch, complain, curse the heavens with all your strength, whatever you want. There's all this stuff inside you screaming to get out, right? Things you want to say to me, to Voldemort, to your brother, to various members of your family, to whoever else has pissed you off lately. I'd advise starting with me, you seem to enjoy that and it should open the floodgates for the rest. Nobody will hear or see you."

"This is a stupid idea."

Reaching out Jamie physically turned the other man so that he was facing the wall, wrapping his arms around the other man's slender waist. He was carefully to not pin down the Gryffindor's arms since he had a feeling that Sirius would be the type to gesture violently when he finally let loose. "Just start ranting about me and if you don't start to feel better just return my hearing and you can head out."

Sensing that the other man wasn't going to drop the idea until he'd proven the redhead wrong Sirius sighed and using his wand insured that the man couldn't hear anything he was about to say.

"This is so stupid." The Gryffindor muttered as he stared straight ahead at the wall, doing his best to ignore the feel of the other man's arms around his waist. "I hate this habit you have of touching me. I don't like to be touched so much unless shagging is involved. Not that you'd stop if I told you to, you arrogant prat. Always thinking you know best, rushing into dangerous situations without showing a lick of sense. Getting into a fight with three Death Eaters, one of them being my sociopath cousin who needs to be put down before she tortures and kills every living being in the world with even a drop of Muggle blood in them."

And just like that all the feelings and thoughts he'd been pushing down and trying to ignore came rolling out as Sirius began ranting out loud, his voice getting louder and louder as he cursed out his brother for being so stupid, for getting involved with the Death Eaters when it was obvious to anyone with a brain that the little moron would never be a cold blooded killer. Regulus was an arrogant, self-righteous prick, no question, but the man had a conscience and a moral code that would get him killed by the group he'd decided to join. That of course led to a rant against his parents for being stupid enough to support Regulus, since he knew that his brother would have never joined Voldemort's entourage without their approval. You'd think after screwing up with him so monumentally they'd have put a little more effort into taking care of and protecting their remaining son. And who could forget Narcissa, who should have tried to influence his parents into keeping Regulus out of the Death Eaters. She was the wife of one, for Merlin's sake, she had to know what would be asked of his brother, and not being stupid would know Regulus would fail to live up to the Dark Lord's expectations. Not to mention the fact that Cissy had turned her back on Andromeda, which pained his cousin a great deal no matter what Andromeda said. And it went without saying that his favorite cousin feared that someday Bellatrix would come after her, intending to kill Ted and Dora.

"Bellatrix would do it too." Sirius continued, his whole body vibrating with the hatred he felt for his cousin. "She'd kill all of us if her precious Lord commanded her to. She probably dreams of killing us blood traitors with a smile on her face. And Dora's age wouldn't stop her. Her own sister's daughter. And James and Lily, she's just itching to kill them. She blames James for 'corrupting me'. I know she does. She's never forgotten that the Potters took me in after I ran away I'll bet. And Lily, a Muggleborn, not to mention the woman who ruined the Potter line in her eyes by snagging James. She'd take advantage of the fact that they might hesitate to kill her, knowing she's my cousin. Or Regulus, they'd definitely hesitate to hurt him. Or Snape if it was Lily. Hesitate and they're dead. They'd just be dead."

Instinctively placing his hands on top of Jamie's Sirius's breath shuddered out when the redhead linked their fingers, anchoring him as the fears he'd buried deep came bubbling to the surface, the Gryffindor choking on them as he spoke of his fear of losing the only family he had now, how afraid he was that he wouldn't be able to protect them, keep them safe. How much it bothered him that so many of the people around him didn't truly understand what the Death Eaters were capable of, having not grown up in families as dark his own. Who hadn't grown up knowing about curses and jinxes that could introduce a witch or wizard to the kind of pain that would have even the strongest of men begging to just be allowed to die. And to know that he was related by blood to people who would use those curses, to know he knew them and could use them, might use them, chilled him to the bone. Would he develop a taste for causing others to experience pain and suffering? Could he become a monster too? How did he know where to draw the line, how was he supposed to know right from wrong? Who could he truly trust anymore aside from James?

Eventually Sirius's voice started to give out, his throat burning from overuse as his words started to rasp. So he mentally ranted for a bit, found it not nearly as satisfying, and accepted that he was all ranted out for the moment.

And as much as he hated to admit it he did feel better, Sirius thought ruefully as he untangled his fingers so that he could turn around, using his wand to undo the spell so that Jamie could hear him.

Retrieving his wand again Jamie caused a large glass full of pumpkin juice to appear in his free hand. Without a word he held it out to the Gryffindor, who took it from him and quickly drained the contents.

Holding the empty glass out Sirius nodded his thanks when the redhead refilled it for him, sipping this time as he savored the feel of the cool liquid sliding down his throat. "Thanks." He said huskily.

"You're welcome. Feel better?"

"Yes."

"Good." Reaching out Jamie couldn't stop himself from stroking a hand over the other man's raven black hair before dropping his hand back to his side. "Do you want me to walk you back to your dormitory so you don't get caught wandering the halls without supervision?"

Using his wand Sirius caused the glass to disappear while he smirked at the other man with his typical arrogance. "I never get caught."

Murmuring a good night the Gryffindor turned, intending to leave, but couldn't make himself do it. Glancing over his shoulder Sirius looked into the redhead's eyes and was moving before his mind processed what he intended to do. Taking the necessary steps Sirius wrapped his arms around the other man's waist in a quick, hard hug that lasted a telling heartbeat.

Then Sirius let him go and without a word headed out of the room, Jamie silently watching him go.

When he heard the sound of his door being closed Jamie head lowered, his words no more than a whisper.

"You're going to break my heart, aren't you, Sirius Black."

)

The next day was a perfect summer day, with a baby blue sky, shining sun, and just enough breeze to make being outside a requirement for anyone who wasn't in class. Needless to say there was a lot of grumbling about the fact that the weather had chosen to come on a Monday instead of during the weekend. For his part Jamie diligently forced himself to stay indoors for the morning, then said to hell with that after lunch and posted a sign on his office door stating where he could be found if absolutely necessary.

That done Jamie headed to his rooms to get changed into attire appropriate for what he had planned for the rest of the day, heading outdoors afterwards to set up his work station so to speak. Making sure that his stuff wouldn't be disturbed the redhead soon headed back indoors, his destination Dumbledore's office. After giving the password the Gryffindor headed up the staircase, not surprised to find the Headmaster at his desk, hard at work.

"You need to get your priorities straight, my friend."

Looking up from his work Dumbledore didn't know quite what to say to that. "And what priorities do I need to change?"

"Too many to list if we're going to get a chance to enjoy the weather outside." Was Jamie's cheeky response. "Now go put this on and come with me." Throwing the shirt he'd draped over one arm in the Headmaster's direction.

Holding up the shirt Dumbledore raised an eyebrow as he stared at the brightly colored Hawaiian shirt. "This doesn't strike me as something you'd wear."

"You have to wear a Hawaiian shirt when you're in Hawaii. It's a rule over there. And you seem like you'd be the Hawaiian shirt kind of guy when it comes to Muggle clothes."

Dumbledore's lips twitching in amusement. "I see. And why do I have to wear this?"

Jamie just smiled. "Trust me and put the shirt on. And some shorts if you own any. I won't take no for an answer."

He could think of several reasons to say no, but going on instinct the older man nodded and informed Jamie that he would return momentarily.

Leaning back in his chair as he waited Jamie looked in the direction of Fawkes, who was watching him from his perch. "Bad things are coming his way, Fawkes. Stuff I can't protect him from. Stuff that has to happen. So I'm gonna drag him out of this place for a bit for some R and R."

The phoenix studied the redhead and then nodded his head in agreement.

)

Half an hour later the two men were outside and drawing quite a bit attention from the students who'd come outside during their free periods. Both men were reclining in lawn chairs under a large tree, sitting side by side under its shade. Jamie was wearing cutoff jeans and a t-shirt, the shirt pulled up to show his stomach so that Hiss, prominently displayed there, could get some of the sun's rays too. At his side Dumbledore wore a brightly colored Hawaiian shirt that was covered in hibiscus flowers in a variety of colors. The Headmaster's knobby knees were on display thanks to turquoise shorts and he was wearing sandals while Jamie had opted to go barefoot.

Both men wore strange hats with containers on either side that contained a pink liquid. There appeared to be tubes of some sort attached to the containers and the two Gryffindors could be observed sucking on the end of the tubes to consume the lemonade.

In their hands were novels, Jamie's the book he'd started the day before while Dumbledore was reading a book loaned to him by the other man.

Apparently in the future there were books available about men having relationships with other men.

It was quite…interesting.

Sucking down some more lemonade Jamie sighed with pleasure and then looked over at the other man with a wide grin on his face. "Now isn't this a much better way to spend an afternoon?"

Looking up from the book, difficult as it was at a rather…heated part…Dumbledore smiled at the younger man. "It is indeed."