Black Phoenix

Chapter 25

A thing long expected takes the form of the unexpected when at last it comes. -Mark Twain

I shut my eyes in order to see. –Paul Gaugin

It was day when Severus prepared to leave China. It was the middle of the night when he Apparated to the Hogwarts boundary and began the long walk to the doors. As he was making his way swiftly through the dark, he heard noises over by the lake shore. Making his way there, he was confronted by the massive glass walls of a new greenhouse. Muttering a Lumos, he made his way inside to find Harry in the dark, kneeling in the dirt as he constructed another raised planting bed to match the others already lining the perimeter of the inside walls. Dirt streaked Harry's sweat-covered face and torso as he worked.

Severus drank in the sight of his lover, his heart hammering in his chest at being home. He felt a few seconds of panic that Harry would not be at all helped by what he had worked so hard to bring back. What if it had all been for nothing? Would Harry resent that he had failed?

After a few moments, Harry stopped and sat back, head tilted to the side. Standing slowly, he whispered, "Severus?"

Severus swiftly engulfed the other wizard in a rib-crushing hug that Harry returned. Harry laughed, "I'm covered with dirt, Sev!"

Keeping one arm tightly around Harry, Severus used the other hand to sign rapidly, "I do not care in the least." His nose wrinkled just then and he continued, "However, a bath would not be remiss."

They walked arm in arm to the castle, Severus asking about the greenhouse and how Harry had done it. Harry happily explained his plans as he washed up in his quarters. Severus simply sat and enjoyed listening to the younger man as he talked. He was glad to be back here.

When Harry had changed, he asked Severus about the trip as they walked to the Great Hall. Sitting in the darkened room across from one another, Severus sensed that Harry was trying very hard not to act nervously and ply Severus with all manner of questions.

A single torch lit their table as Severus called for a tray of sandwiches and mugs of hot chocolate. He noted that Harry ate ravenously and was certain that Harry had not eaten while he had been gone. He ignored Harry's question to ask, "Did you eat at all while I was away?"

Harry swallowed loudly and looked away from Severus's stare. Odd how those eyes didn't make the hairs on his neck stand up like most everyone else's did. This stare was warm and full of concern. Harry reached out and covered one of Severus's hands with his own. "Not much, I guess. I'll make up for it now." He picked up another sandwich and happily bit into it as Severus shook his head.

The journey had been wearing, as he had to floo and Apparate many times to finally come back to Britain. He was tired, but just the pleasure of sitting here with Harry had revived him like sleep would not. He felt of the small vial in his pocket with one hand and turned his other hand over to grasp Harry's.

"I have the tears." His fingers spelled out the four words. Harry stopped chewing for a moment and then finished his bite.

"Is there any…anything special we have to do?" he asked tentatively, catching his lip in his teeth to worry it.

"No. Would you prefer to have them placed while you are in the Infirmary—"

"No!" Harry gripped Severus's hand hard in his own. "Just us, okay? In case it doesn't work…" He could envision Albus and Poppy hovering over his bed as Severus placed the tears in his eyes. There would be no privacy in which to either rejoice or come to final terms with his blindness. After all he had faced, he didn't believe that he could face more gazes of pity and sorrow bearing down on him.

Severus squeezed his hand in return. "Alright. How about your new greenhouse? When it does work, it will be one of the first things you see."

Harry grinned at Severus's assurances that the tears would work. "What time is it? Will anyone likely be around?"

"It is…" Severus cast a tempus charm, "…almost six in the morning. We won't be disturbed."

They walked back out to the greenhouse, Severus with his arm around Harry's shoulders, Harry's arm around Severus's waist. "I missed you," Harry whispered, leaning his head on Severus as they walked.

Severus stopped and pulled Harry into another tight hug, laying his cheek against the messy black hair. Still holding Harry's hand, he signed, "I missed you more than I can say. I am glad to be back."

He dropped a kiss on the upraised face and they continued to the greenhouse. Severus looked around, amazed at the structure that was becoming evident in the faint light that was colouring the sky. The stone walls were about three feet high before glass panels soared up between oak uprights. The roof was not in place yet, and Severus could see that the wall beside the lake was missing as well. Leading Harry inside, they settled on the area that opened out onto the lake shore. The sky was just turning pink on the horizon over the water.

Severus nudged Harry to sit and he sat down beside him. Signing into his hands he said, "You need to lie back. I will drop one tear in each eye. If it works, the effect may, or may not, be immediate."

"Well, that's pretty imprecise, for you," Harry quipped nervously.

"I have no idea what to expect here. I have only theory and hope." Severus opened the vial and prepared to carefully place the tear drops.

Harry raised a hand and caught his wrist, stopping him. Green eyes turned to gaze up into Severus's face. "Thank you—for doing all that you have to make this happen. Even if it doesn't work, I will always be so grateful that you tried."

Severus gently pressed the hand back down to Harry's side and placed the fingers of one hand on Harry's face to hold his head steady and his eyes open. Harry inhaled sharply as he felt the first tear fall into his right eye and then his left.

Warmth flooded his eye sockets, and for a moment Harry thought it would continue to grow into a heat. But it was simply a warmth that spread throughout the eye and the surrounding flesh and muscles. Severus put the palm of his hand over Harry's face, soothingly motioning for him to close his eyes.

Against the closed eyelids, Harry suddenly saw the lightening flash of blood vessels like one saw when tired eyes were rubbed too hard. The breath he had been holding escaped him in a rush at the first sight of anything besides darkness. He felt Severus clasping his hand, signing.

"Open your eyes very slowly now."

Harry opened them as instructed, gasping again as he saw shadows and shapes emerge into his field of vision. It was still dark, but he could see the outline of Severus above him, looking down. He raised his hand again and laid it against Severus's cheek. The image became clearer, sharper, the black eyes in the chiseled face, the hawk nose, the silk strands of jet hair framing the pale face.

Harry breathed, "I see you!" Severus covered the hand with his own and lowered his head to kiss Harry. Harry kept his eyes open all the while, both hands caressing the face and hair so near to him, marveling at seeing the man, matching all the senses he had only known through touch with the visual feast. The dawn was now breaking and the growing light allowed Harry to drink in the face and form above him, the sight almost robbing him of the ability to breathe.

Suddenly, Severus sat back and pulled Harry up to sit against him. Harry's eyes were glued to Severus's face, unable to tear them away from finally seeing the man who had become his best friend and lover since the last time he had seen him with real vision.

Pulling Harry hard up against his side with one arm, Severus swept the other arm out and pointed to the lake, mouthing the word, "Look."

Harry reluctantly turned his eyes away from Severus and immediately sucked in another breath as he saw the sun rising in a brilliant flare of orange surrounded by the streaks of pink, purple, yellow and gold of the clouds on the horizon. He leaned his head against Severus's shoulder, gripping the arm next to him tightly. His own tears ran down his cheeks.

After a few minutes, Severus looked down at him and turned slightly, cupping his cheek again, this time in concern. Harry looked up at him and he saw Severus speaking, but he didn't understand. He shook his head. Severus took his hand and signed,

"Are you in pain? Do your eyes hurt at all?"

"No… I feel great! I don't think I even need my glasses now!"

Severus nodded in relief. Needing glasses again was not one of the things he had been worried about when looking for the Black Phoenix. He supposed that it stood to reason that when the eyes were healed they would be healed to perfection.

He reached for the vial on the ground and Harry held out his hand for it. He held it up to the light, watching the pearly phoenix tears that remained inside slide slowly against the glass as he tilted it. Severus pointed to the vial and then laid a hand against one of Harry's ears.

"Now for your hearing—" he began to sign. Harry stopped him with a shake of his head.

"No. Not for me, Sev."

Severus looked at him in question. Harry carefully laid the vial between them and shifted around until he sat cross legged in front of Severus.

He spent several moments just staring back into those deep black eyes. Severus gazed back, equally taken by the knowledge that the green eyes before him were seeing him and not just sensing him. Their hands were joined and Harry asked softly, "Talk to me?"

Severus's mind entered Harry's with little effort and the warmth they both felt was translated into the tightening of fingers in fingers.

"I can place the tears in your ears and we will be able to talk without doing this."

Harry smiled at the bass timbre that he loved so much. "But I hear you. I don't need for my ears to actually work to hear you, and that's what's important."

"What are you talking about?" The black eyes narrowed suspiciously. Surely Harry would want to have all his senses returned to him now that the tears were in hand.

Harry began talking and for a very long time after the sun came up, the two of them sat knee to knee, eyes locked as the words flowed from mind to mind.

HPSSHPSSHPSS

The room was in an uproar when Harry Walked into the Great Hall at breakfast unassisted and smiled directly at Albus, Minerva, Pomona , and Poppy, greeting them each in turn by name. Albus's eyes twinkled while the others looked joyfully tearful. Harry's eyes roved over people, the magic ceiling, the tables with their waiting golden plates, and the myriad of lit candles floating above. He couldn't just look at one thing or person when there was so much to see!

Albus nodded to Severus, holding out his gnarled hand in greeting. "Your endeavor was successful, then," he stated. He watched as Harry sat down with the witches at the high table and pulled out his notebook for them to write in.

Minerva glanced at Severus, but then wrote her own greeting down for Harry, where it remained written and did not translate into Braille. Harry read it and then spoke to her.

Albus turned to Severus. "There were not enough tears to heal his hearing?"

Severus heaved a deep sigh before answering. "There are enough. He is not ready for it."

Albus frowned and looked back at Harry. Pomona was so happy that she could hardly hold the pen that Harry kept with the notebook. It all looked very awkward, but none of them seemed to mind. Harry was talking and trying to watch their faces closely and look at what was being written, while the ladies were all reaching for the notebook, hurrying the others along so they could have a turn.

Severus cleared his throat. "Harry…?"

The women all looked up and Harry followed their gazes to Severus. Smiling broadly, he stood back up and went to stand next to him as he looked back over the others.

Severus never showed more than the necessary amount of care in his face when he was in public view, so his stoic and almost blank expression confused Harry when he looked into his face. Severus began to sign, but Harry grabbed his hands, closing his eyes to feel what he was saying.

At first, Severus pulled back from him. Before, touching hands had been necessary, as Harry had to feel the signing and spelling in order to understand him. He had spoken to Harry via Legilimency while they were outside, and being alone, the holding of hands had not bothered him. Now, he felt a flush of discomfiture color his cheeks. Harry was looking up at him again and Severus covered his motion of pulling away by moving to the chairs and pulling Harry's out, indicating they should sit down to eat.

The rest of them had been waiting for whatever Severus had been about to say, and they were now looking at each other while shrugging and shaking their heads. Harry was frowning up at him. He leaned towards him, hand outstretched.

"What is it?"

Severus took Harry's hand, holding it beneath the table. "There are too many eyes here."

Harry smiled crookedly and raised an eyebrow. "You think? I can feel every one of them. It has taken some getting used to." He squeezed Severus's hand.

Severus inclined his head in acknowledgment and slowly withdrew his hands, turning to pick up his eating utensils. Harry watched the carefully blank face at his side for a few moments and then asked quietly,

"Is it so different to touch me when I can see, Sev?"

He was astonished when the older man began to blush before he got himself back in control. Severus signed with his hands but Harry shook his head, "I don't understand."

Severus turned his black eyes to Harry and looked into the green ones. "Later. Right now I need to eat and then rest from the traveling." He withdrew from the Legilimency before Harry could respond and set himself to filling his plate. After a few more moments, Harry did likewise. During the meal, several of the other teachers came up behind them, patting Harry on the shoulder and smiling. He smiled and nodded in return. But he was troubled by what he saw as Severus pushing him away.

HPSSHPSSHPSS

When Harry finished his breakfast, he stood up and quickly avoided being pinned by Albus by heading towards the doors. For once, he was glad that he could not hear, because he knew that they were calling to him to wait. Severus's uncomfortable attitude was disquieting. He needed to be alone and ponder the significance of it.

He headed back out to the greenhouse, where he stood for several minutes, just taking it all in. He found it hard to believe that he had done so well without his sight. The plumb lines were still in place around the perimeter and he could see where more lines were staked to the turf floor inside, in preparation for more beds to be made. He ran his hands over the surfaces of the wooden frames and picked up handfuls of dirt. Closing his eyes, he could feel the intensifying sensation of the magic in his fingers. When he opened them, the magic seemed muted somehow.

Harry moved around the large room, testing himself over and over. Yes, he could still feel the thrum of magic in the dirt, the air, the wood. He could feel it when his eyes were both open and closed, but when they were closed his sense of touch was greater.

He was kneeling at the edge of the lake, a hand in the water, when he felt Severus come to stand behind him. He was not sure that he was ready to question the older man about his reluctance earlier, so he stood up and turned with a bright smile.

Severus had changed after breakfast, preparing to go back to the duties of teaching that day, but Harry could see that he was still exhausted from the trip. Severus stared at him for a long time, just letting their eyes meet. Finally, he stepped forward, arms out in invitation.

Harry found that he could not resist that invitation and he went into the arms quickly, sighing against the warm chest, as long fingers carded through his hair.

Severus took a hand and signed, "I'm sorry about earlier."

Harry stood back and looked up at him. Well, if Severus was going to bring it up, perhaps it was not as bad as Harry had feared. Perhaps they would work out whatever this was before it became so terrible…

Severus looked into those expectant eyes and his heart clutched. He could not allow his overblown sense of decorum ruin what had developed between them. He signed slowly, "You asked if it was so different to touch you, now that you can see…the answer is yes."

Stepping back a little, he said, "Now, you are able to know without a doubt that it is the greasy Potions Master who holds your hand. It is the one who spent so many years tormenting what should have been a reprieve from those idiot relatives. It is the one who used vitriolic words as a weapon to wound and insult. I suppose that while you have not seen me, it has been easier to be someone new, someone better. Now you know it really is just me."

Harry had kept his eyes on Severus's face the whole time he signed and when he finished he shook his head. "I see the man who was all that…" Severus had a brief unchecked cloud of some emotion cross his face before he shuttered it, but then Harry moved on. "…but I also now see the man who spent the last months before the final battle training me to survive it. I see the man who stood over me, defending me when I couldn't fight anymore. I see the man who came to the School for the Deaf and Blind and learned to sign so he could communicate with me. I finally see the man I fell in love with."

He put a hand up to cup the chiseled cheek. "I see the man who has risked so much in search of some myth that might or might not heal me, while still teaching his dunderheads," he grinned knowingly and Severus's mouth gave a telling twitch at the corners. "I see someone who went to the trouble to find out how to help me cope when I was so broken I couldn't have gone on."

Severus started to sign and Harry put his hands on top of his. "I learned to sign by feel. I can't 'hear' what you're saying unless I feel it with my hands."

Severus looked puzzled for a moment and then realization flooded him. Harry would have to learn to visualize hand signs now. He let his hands remain in Harry's and said, "But if you allow me to put the drops in your ears, all that could be past."

"You know I can't."

"I want you to think about your decision. Don't be hasty. You saved our world. If there is a chance for something in it to save you, then it should be so."

"But I don't need saving anymore." Harry laid his head against Severus's chest, putting his arms around the man's middle. "I have you."

Severus felt the unaccustomed prickle of tears in his eyes and he swallowed them back forcefully, still unwilling to show such a weakness. Instead, he crushed the man in his arms to him even more tightly and buried his face in the top of the messy head. They stood there in that embrace, both unwilling to be the first to let go.

Finally, Severus had to break off, as he was due in the Potions classroom in a very short time. He leaned back and smoothed a hand over Harry's head, looking into the upturned face. "I will endeavor not to assign any detentions today. Think over your decision and we will discuss it further over dinner."

Harry nodded, smirking. "No detentions? They'll think you really are going soft."

Severus drew himself back and straightened into the demeanor that Harry remembered from his own school years. The formidable Potions Master whirled around and strode away a few steps before turning back. Harry just grinned and stepped up to him, reaching up to put a kiss on the thinly drawn mouth.

"Sorry. I'm not fooled anymore. Save it for them."

"Brat."

"Bat."

Severus's lips quirked very minutely before he whirled away again and strode towards the castle.

HPSSHPSSHPSS

A/N: Well, there it was! But what, you may be asking, will happen next? I am working on it, all be it very slowly (for me, that is!). I would like to say that I will post the next chapter quickly, but it is pretty intense, too, so I am giving it all the attention I can before sending it on to that most excellent beta, logicalquirk!

As always, thank you for the reviews and the comments! They make Miss Muse feel all warm and fuzzy!