Chapter Twenty-five: In His Loving Memories

He saw her huddled by the lake starring out toward the water as if it could give her all the answers to her problems. She never even heard him approach as he glided down next to her on the rock. It was only when his hand hit her shoulder causing her to jerk around to see her brother's face. She looked away from him unable to face him.

"Don't." He gently grasped her chin pulling her face back to him.

"Shaddi, please don't turn away from me." His voice was low and sad "I know this bothers you, but there isn't anything you or I can do about it. I still love you, I'm still your brother even if I am dead."

"Kai, your being a vampire isn't what bothers me, it's that..." She trailed off as if she didn't know how to finish.

"No Shaddi, it's that I'm a vampire, you know it is. You've never gotten over what happened to you at the coven. You help the twins because you owe them for helping you, but you don't owe me anything. And yet, shouldn't it be different between us, damn it I'm your brother."

"I know Kai, but it's just hard to grasp, it'll never be the same, not now, not after everything we've all been through."

"Shaddi I know it can't be the same, but can't you at least try to see that
I'm still your brother." He let her go looking out to the black water himself now. "They've helped me a lot those two. You know they kept me away from you longer than I would have liked. But they were right."

"About what?"

"As soon as I realized that I wasn't going to die, I wanted to come to you. They wouldn't let me. They wanted me to have more control of my new abilities. They said it would be hard enough for you to cope with my being a vampire, and
harder if I couldn't control my bloodlust, my powers. So I worked hard, and listened to everything they taught me, learning as fast as I could so that I
could see you that much more quickly. He stood and walked out over the water,
the length of his cloak occasionally touching the still water, making ripples in
all directions. He turned out there so he faced her while he floated above the
gently moving water. "And yet I'm here and it almost seems you don't want me."

"Kai." She looked more hurt now than ever. She stood moving to the very edge of the rock. "How could I not want you, your my brother ,but, this is just so hard. To think that I'm the only one who who made it, I just feel guilty." She thought to the vision of her father. Even though he wasn't a vampire, he would die soon, the years of capture had taken too much out of him.

She was ripped from her memories when her chin was lifted and her face was
upturned to that of her brothers. His eyes holding her there on the tip of a needle. She felt the front of his body pressed to hers and knew his feet were on
level with the rock's edge.

"You have nothing to feel guilty about." His voice came in her ear. She could almost feel the want he had.

"Do it." She whispered, tilting her head ever so slightly to the side away from him. His breath was almost a gasp as he looked down the line of her throat, feeling her pulse through his hand. "Please, I'm giving it to you. Take it." He wrapped his arms around her drawing her as close as he could. With the touch of shadow itself, he pulled every stray strand of hair away from his sister's neck. Then pressed his lips to the flesh. His skin was ice to the touch and she knew
he hadn't fed this night. She whispered reassurances into his ear, before she
finally felt it. The piercing of twin daggers diving deep into her jugular vein.
Her body seized. Every part of her tensing before relaxing into the pain and strength of his arms. She could feel her essence filling him, her life giving him life. And despite everything it made her happy, to know that she could still help her older brother.

As he pulled back he supported her full weight as she leaned on him. He held her for a long time, apologizing over and over for what he had done. Rocking her gently and holding her tightly. He could feel her slow heart beat, the breaths she drew trying to steady her spinning head. How long they sat there he didn't know, but sometime long after she had fed him he looked down and found his sister fast asleep in his arms. How much she now reminded him of the little girl he would comfort when bad dreams chased her into his bed. The thoughts made him smile as he took her back to the castle.