A/N - JE owns everything you recognize.

No Beta- mistakes are mine and I apologize in advance.

Thanks to all those reading and reviewing! It means a lot to me. Next Chapter we'll hear from Keira and see how she's holding up.

Chapter 25

Lester's POV

I brought Keira to her apartment and gently placed her on the bed. Bobby carried in a large box of supplies. It was a pump for the TPN, multiple bags of this weird ass cream colored liquid which Bobby explained was the TPN, flushes, heparin, alcohol pads, latex gloves, batteries, Q-tips, bandages, medical tape, little globes of the antibiotics and antifungal and Bobby brought up the IV stand so Keira could hang the TPN bag on it.

"Christ," I said as I looked at all the shit.

"I know this is all overwhelming, but it's going to be fine. It's just going to be hard for a little while," Bobby said.

"Will you show me how to do all this stuff?" I asked.

"Absolutely," Bobby reassured me.

"I need to learn," Keira said as she came into the kitchen. "I'm not going to depend on you or Les to do it for me. I need to be able to do this myself," she said.

"Quierda, you should probably be resting," I said.

"I'll rest. Once I learn how to hook up the pump and hook myself up to the TPN," she said firmly. "And then I would like a shot," she said looking at Bobby.

Bobby nodded. He could continue to give her intravenous paid meds for another week. Bobby showed Keira how to hook up the TPN, how to flush the lines and how to hook herself up to the antibiotics and antifungal.

Keira finished hooking herself up to the TPN. "Good Sweetheart!" Bobby praised her. Keira gave him a smile in return. "You're going to be hooked up to this stuff for 12 hours a day. It's best to do it at night while you're sleeping. You can do the antibiotics and antifungal during the day. The radiologist wants to see you in two weeks to check if you're healed. I think you'll feel better after the first round of TPN," Bobby said.

"That's good. I'm beginning to get hungry, will it help?" Keira asked.

Bobby hesitated. "Keira, this isn't going to be easy. You're not going to feel like you've eaten. You're going to continue to be hungry, the TPN won't fix that. You're only allowed a sip of water an hour," Bobby explained gently.

Keira sighed and nodded. "I think I'm ready for that shot. Les, why don't you go to the gym or to your office? I'm going to probably sleep for awhile and it's not even eight," Keira said.

"I don't want to leave you," I explained.

"I'm fine, just tired and you can't always be with me. You need to get back to your life. Please, I already feel guilty enough for keeping you away the past two weeks," she begged.

"Alright, but leave your door unlocked. I want to sleep next to you," I said.

Keira nodded. Bobby and I helped her back to bed and then Bobby gave her a shot of pain meds. Keira was asleep in minutes.

"Come on. She needs to rest and we need to hit shit. Let's go to the gym," Bobby said as he guided me out of Keira's apartment.

Bobby worked me out hard, I needed it. Both our shirts were completely soaked through by the time we finished.

I was going to head back to four to clean up but Bobby dragged me to the conference room. All the core team members as well as Steph and Ella were assembled. "You ready for us?" Bobby asked Ranger.

Ranger nodded and motioned Bobby and I to enter. "What's going on?" I asked.

"We're coming up with a plan to care for Keira," Ranger explained.

"I don't get it? What do you mean?" I asked.

"According to Bobby she's going to pretty confined to her apartment and unable to eat for the next few weeks. We all want to be there for her. We've come up with a schedule," Ranger explained.

"Schedule?" I asked. I was really confused about what was going on.

"Lester, we know you're worried about leaving Keira alone for too long so we're all going to take shifts, so to speak," Ella began to explain. "I'll come by in the morning. I can help her bath and change and then I'll be able to do some cleaning and take her laundry," Ella explained.

"Ella, that's really generous of you but I can't ask you to do that," I said.

"You didn't. I want to do it. I love that girl, we all do. She's part of this family now and she needs us," Ella said firmly.

"I'm going to come by and hangout around lunch time, considering I'm going to be off field work for awhile," Stephanie explained.

"Why are you off field work?" I asked quizzically.

"I'm pregnant," Stephanie said with a shy smile.

I felt like I got the wind knocked out of me for a moment. Pregnant? Stephanie is Pregnant? A twinge of jealousy stabbed at me. I brushed it aside.

"Congratulations! I'm happy for you guys!" I said as I recovered.

"Thank you, we found out a couple weeks ago but with everything going on we didn't get a chance to share the news with you and Keira," Stephanie explained.

Was I jealous because Ranger and Stephanie are having a baby and I wish I was Ranger or am I jealous that their having a baby because I wish Keira and I were having one? I never told her or anyone for that matter, but ever since the day in the medic's office when I thought Keira might be pregnant with my child I thought about kids and my future a lot more.

"She'll be so happy to hear it," I said to Stephanie.

"We all want to take turns in spending time with Keira in the afternoon," Tank said as all the other guys began nodding their agreement.

"This will give you a break. You'll be able to go to work and not have to worry about her," Bobby explained. "I will be checking on her every day. I'll be at every doctor's appointment and I'll review every test result. Hopefully, she'll be healed by the radiologist appointment," Bobby said.

I breathed out a sigh of relief. The appointment was in two weeks. We could handle two weeks. She could be healed and well on the way to recovery in two weeks.

She wasn't. She wasn't healed by the next appointment, two weeks after that either. Her body was taking a long time to heal. Keira has been home for over a month and I've watched her slowly deteriorate physically and mentally.

She hasn't eaten or drank anything in six weeks at this point. She's lost almost twenty pounds of weight she couldn't afford to lose. Her once toned body was whittled away to skin and bones. The feminine curves were gone. The only reason she hasn't lost more was because of the TPN. Bobby finally got it to stabilize her weight so she wouldn't lose anymore. Keira's once toned arms and legs now resembled tooth picks. Her sternum, ribs and spine protruded through her skin. The bag that hung by her now alarming hip bones, was still collecting the bright green fluid, but it was becoming less and less every day which Bobby said was a good sign.

Keira was barely left alone. Everyone was always in and out of her apartment. This was a huge relief to me because Keira's blood pressure had dropped to the point where she can't stand up without everything going black for minute and almost passing out. Bobby has told her that she has to sit up very slowly, the wait, than slowly push herself off the couch if she needs to get up. Even doing all that she still struggles with the room going black for a few seconds.

The guys have all been amazing about coming and spending time with her every day. But some of them have been avoiding her, particularly Hal and Vince. I talked to Bobby about it and Bobby told me that Ram confronted Vince and Vince finally admitted that he had feelings for Keira and couldn't bring himself to see her like this. That made me think about the afternoon I watched Vince kiss Keira while they danced in her office. It was a long time ago and I always figured he was just trying to get in her pants. The thought of Vince actually liking a woman was strange.

Hal has a female cousin that he was close to growing up. She had some illness and was really sick for a long time. Keira's situation reminded Hal of that and he's been avoiding her so he doesn't have to think about it. Keira didn't seem overly hurt by this. She just shrugged and said it's not their problem that she's sick. She doesn't blame them for not wanting to deal with it.

She's becoming colder and more distant with each passing day. She can barely stand any one touching her, even me. I mentioned this to Bobby and he thinks Keira's depressed. She still jokes around with whoever is visiting and she's always tries to appear upbeat and happy when I'm around, but there are moments when I see the facade crack. I'll catch her looking out the window, her face grim, her eyes distant and her mind distracted. I wish she'd talk to me but when I ask her what she's thinking about, she just gives me a wry smile and says "food."

I finally called Dr. Burke who agreed to come meet with her at her apartment, since she has trouble getting out. After their session, Bobby, Tank, Ranger and I met Burke in the conference room to discuss Keira's mental state.

"Honestly, I think she's holding up remarkably well for someone in her circumstances. We're going on two months without food and her not being able to drink. Those sensations don't go away gentlemen. She admits that she feels like she's going crazy now and then. She talked about watching the entire series of 'Lost' and even with all the stuff going on in that show, all she could think about was how much food they had for being stranded on an island," Burke said.

Tank snorted.

"So she's not depressed?" Bobby asked.

"Of course she's depressed. I don't think this is a chemical imbalance situation. I think she's going through something most people will never understand and she's struggling mentally and physically. I was even taken aback by her appearance," Burke explained.

"What do you suggest?" I asked.

"Give her a break, maybe even a little space. From what she tells me, she's never alone. This is admirable but at the same time she feels like she needs to keep up this pretense that everything is fine when she's around other people and she's exhausted. Let her talk about how she's really feeling. I also think it's important that you go out and continue at least part of your normal life. Keira feels guilty like she's holding you back," Burkes said looking at me.

I sighed. She feels guilty that I'm not going out and behaving normally and I feel guilty when I do go out and behave normally.

"Why don't you go out with some of the guys tomorrow night? Just go out have a drink and unwind. Steph will hang out with Keira," Ranger suggested.

I ran my hand over my face.

"It would probably do you both some good," Burke said. "You're going through this too. Everyone needs a break now and then. Keira's not in a position to get one, but that doesn't mean she wants you to continuously suffer in silence next to her. You need to be strong for her and the only way you're going to be able to do that is to take care of yourself, both mentally and physically," Burke said.

I finally agreed and Burke agreed to come by and see Keira twice a week until she could start eating again.

The next night I was standing in Keira's apartment feeling guilty as all hell for leaving her. She was sitting on the couch in one of the black RangeMan tank tops with black RangeMan sweatpants that Ella has given her. She was hooked up to her antibiotics and was assessing my appearance as her eyes traveled up and down my body. "You look nice," she said giving me a smile.

"You always look beautiful," I said back.

Keira rolled her eyes. "What? Is my drainage bag exceptionally flattering today?" she asked.

"Neither the bag nor the picc line nor the bandages on your stomach will ever take away from how gorgeous you are," I said as I walked over and kissed her hair.

She sighed. "Please go have fun tonight. Get drunk, play pool, give Matty a hard time, just enjoy yourself. For me," she begged.

"I will Quierda. But know I'll be thinking about you the entire time. Leave the door unlocked so I can sleep next to you," I said.

Keira nodded and I gave her a quick kiss just as Stephanie arrived. "Hey Les! A bunch of the guys are downstairs waiting for you," Steph said.

"Thanks. What are you two up to tonight?" I asked.

"I've finished 'Lost', 'The Tudors', 'Weeds', 'Freaks and Geeks', 'Rome' and 'Arrested Development' so I think I'm moving on to 'Dexter'," Keira said.

Steph winced at the thought of watching a show about a serial killer but she didn't say anything.

"Have fun. I love you. I'll be home soon," I said.

"Don't. Close down the bar, you need it," Keira said grinning at me.

I did need it. We got to O'Brien's and Matty was thrilled to see me. "Santos! It's been months! How's Keira? She still under house arrest?" he asked.

"Yeah man. She's hanging in there though," I said.

"That is one tough chick man. Don't worry about her, she'll pull through it. Here, have a beer and a shot on me," Matty said as he poured me a tequila shot and handed me a Miller Lite.

A tall, extremely attractive, exotic looking waitress approached the bar. "Matty I need two car bombs for table 12," the woman said.

"Alice! Let me introduce you to Lester Santos. This is Keira's boyfriend," Marry said.

"Hi," I said offering her my hand.

"I've heard a lot about you! I'm Alice, Matty's wife. I used to come in and hangout with Keira while Matty closed the bar when I was pregnant. She's an amazing girl. I'm so sorry to hear about everything that's happened. I was thinking about bringing the baby by to see her next week. Do you think she'd like that?" Alice asked.

This is Matty's wife? Damn did he marry well!

"I think she'd love it. Thanks Alice," I said sincerely.

"She's lucky to have such a great guy," Alice said warmly as she squeezed my shoulder and went back to work.

Next thing I know, Ram handed me another shot. I had several more beers and maybe three more shots before we started playing pool. We were gathered next to a group of women which the guys were all sizing up.

I was with Ram, Vince, Manny, Zero, Junior and Binkie. None of them had girlfriends so it was kind of a free for all. I just concentrated on the game and getting drunk. I haven't had sex since before Keira's surgery and I was avoiding eye contact with these women so they didn't think I was coming on to them.

I had a few more shots and beers. I was pretty fucking lit. I stumbled out of the bathroom and ran into one of the girls from the group that we've been hanging out with. "Whoa, you almost took me out!" she said as she placed her hands on my chest.

"Sorry about that," I mumbled.

"Well, I think you might owe me a drink for that," she said as she leaned her body into mine. She was barely wearing a top. It looked more like a sparkly bandana that she tied around her large, most likely fake breasts. Right now those breasts were pressed firmly against my chest. Bad thoughts began running through my drunken brain.

"Sorry, I think I've had enough and should probably be going," I said.

The woman rose up on her toes and pressed her lips firmly to mine. I responded without thought and returned the kiss. She slipped her tongue into my mouth and my body began reacting to the sensation.

One thought broke through my drunken haze. Keira.

I pushed the woman away from me. "I can't do this. I have a girlfriend who I need to be going home too," I said as I gently pushed her away.

"You don't think you should, but you want to," the woman whispered as she reached down and stroked my hard on.

I moaned at the feel, than snapped out of it. I grabbed her hand and pushed her away. "I love her. I'm going home," I said as I pushed past the woman.

I looked up and locked eyes with Alice who was staring at me from the server station. Her face was stricken, she saw the whole thing.

I began to walk toward her to explain. "You're an asshole. I hope Keira realizes it soon," she said coldly.

"It's not what it looked like. I love Keira," I explained. Even listening to my own words I know it sounded weak.

"Well, she deserves someone who loves her better. She doesn't deserve that," Alice said as she grabbed the drinks from the bar and went to drop them off at a table.

I looked up at Matty whose jaw was tense. "She came on to me and I stopped her," I said.

Matty sighed and nodded. "Listen, I'll talk to Alice, she won't say anything to Keira. Just go home and handle your shit. Got it?" Matty said.

"Yeah man. I don't want to get you into trouble with your wife," I said.

"I've slept on the couch before; I'll probably end up doing it again. Don't worry about us. We're fine. Go home to your girl," he ordered.

I walked outside and grabbed a cab. I was still unsteady and pretty drunk. I stumbled into Keira's apartment and was surprised to see her still sitting up on the couch hooked up to the TPN bag.

"What are you still doing up, Baby?" I slurred.

"I thought I'd wait up for you. It's not like I have anything else to do," she said with a grin. She gave me a good once over. "You're shitfaced," she said with a laugh. "Did you have a good time?" she asked as I fell down on the couch beside her.

"I did. I missed you though," I drunkenly whispered as I brought my face close to hers.

Keira's face froze. She slowly brought her thumb to my lips and dragged it across my mouth. "You might want to wash your face next time before coming over here. You're still wearing her lip gloss," she said.

I froze. "It's not what you think," I tried to explain.

"Just get out," she said quietly.

"No! She came on to me! I pushed her away!" I said desperately.

"I don't want to talk about this now. You're drunk, just get out," she said as she stood up. Unfortunately, Keira's blood pressure got the better of her and she almost fell as her eyes glazed over.

I caught her in my arms. "Please mi amor, let me explain," I begged.

Keira weakly shoved me away from her. "You need to leave," she said as she leaned against her IV pole for support.

"I'm not leaving you until you let me explain!" I said.

Keira turned around and looked at me. She lifted her chin defiantly. "I'm asking you, one last time to leave," she said dangerously.

"I'm not going anywhere until you listen to me!" I demanded.

Keira took a giant breath and let out a blood curdling scream. What the fuck!

Within seconds Bobby and Cal burst though her door with weapons drawn, both were just in boxers having clearly been woken up by Keira's scream.

"What the hell is going on in here?" Bobby demanded.

"Lester's drunk and he hooked up with another girl. He has the lip gloss to prove it," Keira said. "I asked him to leave and he's refusing. I don't exactly have the physical ability to make him," she pointed out.

Cal and Bobby froze. "Keira, Les wouldn't do that to you," Cal said slowly.

"He did. I want to be alone. Please?" she said.

"Les, come on man. Sleep it off then try talking to her tomorrow," Bobby said carefully.

"Keira, please just listen to me! I would never betray you! Baby, please!" I begged.

Keira's eyes were so cold, it was like looking into a strangers.

"Get out," she repeated for what felt like the hundredth time.

Bobby placed a hand on my shoulder and guided me out of the door and back to my apartment. "Just sleep it off man. Whatever happened, you can explain it to her tomorrow when you're sober. She loves you," Bobby said.

"I don't want her to be alone right now," I said.

"I'll go check on her and sleep on her couch. Okay?" Bobby said.

I nodded numbly. What the fuck have I done?