OUT THERE
Chapter Twenty Five
"The art of medicine consists of keeping the patient in a good mood while nature does the healing." (Voltaire)
Voices buzzed around his head like a swarm of angry bees. They seemed to have far too much to say, and Adam pulled back into himself, searching for peace in his dreams. Even so, he could make out snatches now and then. Were they real, he wondered, or brought to life by his imagination? So hard to tell, these days.
"...my fault, Don. I should have seen it. I did see, dammit, and I didn't push hard enough."
"Hindsight's a wonderful thing, Stella; you know that."
"I do, but clichés aren't going to stop me feeling guilty. Thank God for Mac..." Her voice was troubled as it died away.
There were other sounds, too. A door slamming. Somewhere beneath him, the pull of an engine. His arm was not his own any more - it belonged to the cold and creepy fingers that touched it with their latex skin - yet he didn't care. They had locked away the pain, like a criminal, safe in the back of his mind, and he was floating...
Warm air, cold air. Warm air again; far too warm, in fact, and stuffy. Loaded with the mingled scents of antiseptic and human beings in distress. Lying flat on his back, he opened his eyes and stared at the bright lights slipping by.
"Hello," said a friendly, disembodied voice behind him. "You're with us, then?"
Was he?
"Mm..." he said thickly, but his lips refused to work properly and his brain was full of cotton wool. What was it he wanted to say? "M..Ma.."
The effort wore him out and he slipped back into the dreamworld. Haylen was there to greet him. Somehow, he wasn't surprised.
No more darkness, she told him, smiling her over-bright smile.
Adam looked around. The sense of fear that had dogged him for far too long - the ache inside him that hurt - it was gone; and all around them was... not a landscape, exactly, but an all-pervading sense of cleanness, and freedom.
Thank you, he said, feeling awkward.
Oh - it wasn't me. You did this. Adam, you won.
Won what? He wasn't sure, but her words made him happy and now, as he sank even further away from the real world, he knew that when he woke at last, all would be well.
-xx-
Except that it wasn't; not really. Waking was stiff and confusing, and very uncomfortable. His left arm was... wrong, somehow and still didn't feel like it really belonged to him. "Nhhh," he groaned. "Haylen...?"
"I knew it," a voice crowed.
"Wha... no... Dan...?"
"Lindsay owes me, big time."
"She's... no!" With an effort, he opened his eyes. They were dry and sore. At last he focussed - and there was Danny Messer, grinning broadly.
"Gotta stop... wakin' up like this..." Adam sighed. "With you..."
"Prefer 'em cute 'n' blonde, do you?" Danny was full of relief, and apparently that made him even louder.
"No." Adam frowned. "Brunette... Danny, wha's goin' on?"
His friend settled back in the wheelchair, his voice softened by the gravity of his reply. "You were shot. You remember that, right?"
"I... yeah..." And he did, in an ugly rush of memory that sent a wave of ice-cold sweat rushing down his back. Looking down, he saw that his arm was strapped up tightly. No wonder it felt so strange. He moved his other hand and felt a curious pinch that turned out to be a cannula. "How long...?"
"Have you been here? Well, they dug the bullet out of your arm this morning. You were lucky, man," his friend said in a heartfelt voice. "Turns out, it lodged against the bone, when it could have ploughed straight through. I'm thinkin' we're gonna be physio buddies real soon, though." He offered a reassuring smile, with a shadow behind it that spoke of shared pain and understanding.
Adam nodded. He was quiet for a moment, as he tried to digest the information.
"Why...?" he said at last, and the meaning behind that one plaintive word was clear.
"I think," Danny offered slowly, "it was because you were just so damn annoying."
Adam's eyes grew wide - but his friend was smiling again, and this time it was genuine. "Joke?" he asked in a timid voice.
"Joke," Danny nodded. "Sense of humour still intact, then."
"I guess." There was something... Someone... He needed to ask... "Mac," he blurted out, finally, setting the word free as soon as his muddled brain brought it to the surface.
"Oh, yeah, Mac." Watching him carefully, Danny opted for the truth. "You know how he is - all that combat training. He managed to hold off your crazy knife-wielding friend - protect his core - but his arms are a mess right now and there's a hole in his back that gave the doc a real sour face before she patched it up... He's fine, though; I promise," he added hastily, catching sight of Adam, who was horrorstruck. "Looks like some kinda mummy's uncle, all wrapped in bandages - ask me though, his coat took the brunt of it... Gotta get me the name of his miracle tailor. See for yourself, anyway, if you don't believe me. He'll be here soon. We're changin' shifts at three."
"Shifts?"
"With you. Think we'd leave you alone, Adam Ross? Seems you're not to be trusted..." Danny chuckled. "No tellin' what kind of trouble you'd get into next."
"Ha ha ha." Adam scowled at his friend, but there was no real anger in his expression. Thinking back more carefully through Danny's long-winded explanation, he couldn't help but wonder how on earth Mac had managed to break out of hospital so quickly. Maybe it helped to be the Very Important Boss of the New York Crime Lab. The last time Adam had seen him, Mac had not been in a good way, and neither had...
Oh, no.
"What about Elma?" he ventured, warily.
Danny's face closed off. "She's not hurt," he said.
"Okay - and...?" Adam could sense the hesitation, and the words unsaid.
"Well..." Pausing, Danny spun his wheels and moved in even closer. He lowered his voice. "You know about the drugs, right?"
Adam pulled a face. "Sid was... he was the one who guessed it. And... well, I yelled at him, Danny. I need to see him and apologise." He clutched the sheet between his anxious fingers; twisting, twisting...
"Stop that," Danny told him firmly, laying a hand over his and stilling the frantic movement.
"Oh. Okay," Adam whispered, his head low. Staring at his tousled head in disbelief, Danny gave voice to the thought that was troubling him.
"Adam. Tell me you don't think...? You're not to blame here, you know. Not for anything."
So hard to speak. Danny's kind words were like a tiny pebble that started an avalanche inside him. He clung to his friend's hand and shook, and shook. "I kn... I know... But I thought... I was so s-scared, Danny... I thought I was going m-mad. And Elma... I should... I should have helped her..."
"More than you did? I don't see how. Adam, I see my grandmother - what, maybe five times a year? You visited Elma, like, every day. You risked your job, and your health - dammit, even your life - 'cause you cared about some lonely old lady. That's a little crazy, maybe, but I'll tell you somethin' - I'm proud of you, buddy." He frowned. "Look, you've just woken up, okay? You need a nurse... I'm gonna fetch one."
"No! Stay and talk to me, Danny. I don't..." Adam's voice dropped. "I don't like hospitals. And really, I don't need a nurse. I'm not in pain, I promise. Tell me about Elma. Please?"
"Well, she's out of her apartment - and that was a struggle, accordin' to Flack. You'd think they were draggin' her to her doom. Seein' you get shot... that was hard for her too."
Somewhere in the tangle that was currently his mind, Adam heard a distant wail. "I know," he whispered.
"And the drugs... you got dosed maybe once a day? When we tested her food - man, it was everywhere." He shook his head ruefully. "Sugar, flour, milk, cookies..."
"Cake," Adam sighed. White for white... Beth-Anne had been as good as her word. She must have ground up the tablets and laced Elma's whole stock of baking ingredients. Danny nodded.
"Stella asked the doc about you. 'No lasting effects' were his words. Oxycodone was the first drug they used, but they soon ditched that and we only found trace amounts. Turns out, most of what you took were first generation antihistamines, which probably hit you hard 'cause you were already run down. You gotta learn to pace yourself, buddy. Elma, now - she's older. Much older. Takin' stuff like that... it can knock you sideways. Aggravate conditions that are already there, not to mention creatin' a whole mess o' new ones. She's downstairs, okay - you can see her later, when you're feelin' up to it. But I'm tellin' you now, so you don't get a shock; she's lost. Inside her head, you know? Kept callin' for her husband... I'm guessin' he passed away, right?"
"Mac," Adam said. "She thought Mac was her husband." He clenched his one good fist, and Danny's hand pulled away. "Where's Kyle?"
"Somewhere cosy where the sun don't shine," said a familiar voice outside the door - and the next minute, Don Flack's face came into view. "Awake at last, Sleepin' Beauty? Don't tell me Messer had to kiss you..." His blue eyes were bright and his smirk was comical, but Adam could hear the fatigue behind his words that spoke of a sleepless night - and worry.
The figure behind him, as he entered, was a big surprise.
"Boss!" With a hoarse exclamation, Adam tried to sit up straight, but his wound made him clumsy and he slid back down in a rumpled heap. Danny chuckled, and Flack moved to help him. Mac stood behind them, one hand on the back of Danny's chair. His face was whiter than white, but that wasn't the most shocking thing. Nor were the bandages currently gracing his arms.
He was still in a hospital gown.
Flack caught the direction of Adam's stunned gaze and laughed outright. "Not so easy, this time," he commented, raising one eyebrow. "Jailbreaks are kinda frowned upon when you're a human pincushion."
"Which puts us firmly in the same boat," Mac said to Adam and his eyes, though tired, were smiling.
"Mm-hmm," Adam mumbled, suddenly shy.
Danny saw his confusion and leapt in smartly. "Well, that's me," he said. "Babysittin' over. At least this shift didn't involve any diapers..."
Flack's eyes were loaded with sympathy. "Lindsay got you well trained, then?"
"Oh, yeah..." The reply was uttered in a heartfelt groan, as Danny wheeled towards the door, leaving Mac standing all by himself in the middle of the room, swaying ever so slightly and trying to hide it. Flack grabbed a chair and set it next to Adam's bed. Then he glared at the pale-faced detective.
"Sit."
To Adam's abiding delight, Mac obeyed. Flack gave a subtle wink - and his efforts were rewarded by the slow smile which lit Adam's face like a sunbeam through a cloud.
"Now," Flack continued, "I got questions - and I'm guessin' you do too."
Adam nodded absently, his wondering eyes still fixed upon his boss.
"Adam," Mac said, hovering on the edge of patience. "I'm alive, I'm here and I'm wearing a hospital gown. Try and get used to it, before your head explodes."
"Okay..."
Flack waved a hand in front of Adam's face. "Yo. Ross."
"Oh... sorry." Adam flushed and gave the detective his full attention. "Um - what do you need to ask me?"
With a piercing glance that suggested he was weighing Adam's current mental state, Flack proceeded. "I got most of the story from Mac - includin' the truth about the last few weeks," he said tactfully, "but there's a point... I guess you know what I'm talkin' about... when I'm left with a doozy of a cliffhanger. It won't be easy, Adam, but I want you to tell me what happened next. In your own time," he added softly. "Think you can do that?"
"Yes." If Mac could do it, Adam thought, then so could he. The details were hazy in his mind at first, but the more he chased after them, the clearer they became. His tale was hesitant, but truthful. Quietly, he took them back to the scene and ran through the whole shocking series of events, from the sight of Mac pocketing his phone, to that dizzy, miraculous moment when Flack arrived at the door. His colleagues listened without interrupting.
"That tallies with everything I overheard," Flack nodded, when Adam had finished. He gave a rueful grin. "Thought it might be an ass-dial till I really began to listen. That guy Kyle's a dangerous fool, and no mistake. You did well," he added.
"Getting shot wasn't part of my cunning plan," Adam admitted.
"Shot in the arm? Don't take this wrong, okay, but that's nothin'. He could have killed you..."
"Or me," Mac put in. "In fact, the way I remember it, he was about to - before you stopped him, Adam."
Embarrassed beyond all reason, Adam took refuge in his old friend, humour. "Does that mean I finally get a raise?" he ventured.
Mac's reply was deadpan. "No. But I promise not to yell at you, for at least a fortnight."
"Oh! I'll take it," Adam told him fervently.
"Okay," Flack said. "Your turn. Ask me anythin'."
That was quite some question. Adam could feel himself growing weary again, and he knew that, very soon, he would have to find a way to extricate himself from this conversation - but there were so many things that he wanted to understand. A face rose to the surface, and he whispered her name: "Beth-Anne". Mac studied him carefully. Meanwhile, it was Flack who answered, just as he had promised.
"I'm sorry," he said. "She's part of it, Adam, no matter how naïve she seems to be. We had to arrest her - though right now she's here in the hospital too. Busy night for them," he sighed, as an afterthought. "But she's helpin' us, and that should work in her favour. Whatever kind of sway her brother had - well, it's gone now, an' that's a good thing."
"She tried to save us, in the end," Adam protested. "Please let me speak for her... you know... in court..."
"That's up to her brief - but I'll see what I can do."
Sliding a little further down the bed, Adam tried to keep his eyes open. Mac gave a not-so-subtle cough.
"No more talking," he said. "Let him rest, Don. Plenty of time for questions later."
Flack's nod was full of understanding. Adam sighed with relief, feeling touched by his boss's display of concern - but it seemed that the grinning, blue-eyed detective couldn't resist the last word after all.
"Okay. You can sleep, Ross. I just got one more question for now, if you don't mind? Somethin' that's been buggin' me."
Adam waited.
"It's about those cookies..." Flack said.
-xx-
A/N: So, the end is on its way - but we're not quite there yet! I'm planning at least two more chapters, to round things off properly. Hope you enjoyed this update, and thank you to all my reviewers :D