General disclaimer: I own nothing, even Maiyn generally decides her own path.

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Only the Lonely

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"Kneel and repent!"

Maiyn stopped, and looked hesitantly at the man who was fast approaching her. A dark robe flowed around him, and a large staff was gripped firmly in his hands as he glared at the companions. The ranger was in no mood for this; the journey back had been long, with little in the way of rest. Darkness was beginning to fall over the city, and Yoshimo had been leading them to the Copper Coronet for a night of rest, before attending the selling of their newly acquired treasure the following day. The alley they stood in was not the darkest she'd ever been in, but nor was it particularly bustling with activity. With a sigh, Maiyn resigned herself to hearing the stranger out.

"You!" shrieked the man, pointing a bony finger at the elf. She scowled as she looked back at him, then felt herself gripping the hilt of her sword as she noticed the holy symbol hanging from his waist. "Bow, worm, and pray that Cyric allows you to become one of His holy worshippers! Cast aside whatever false god you pray to and embrace the Prince of Lies in all his majes-"

The man's words were stopped abruptly by Maiyn's sword stabbing through his chest. Wordlessly, she removed her blade and casually wiped it with his robe before returning it to its sheath. She glanced at her companions, who were all watching her intently with various expressions, and raised an eyebrow.

"Child!" hissed Jaheira, looking around furtively. "I have warned you of killing in the city before! Do you pay no heed to my words?"

"He is a priest of Cyric!" exclaimed Maiyn indignantly, expecting that to be enough justification. Jaheira had witnessed her slaying another of Cyric's clerics back in the mines of Cloakwood, and although she had looked a little flustered at the manner in which it was done, she'd not had too many objections to make.

"He was a priest..." noted Xan dourly.

"And what if the guard came along? What if someone witnessed it and fetched them, seeing you strike down a man in cold blood?"

Maiyn shrugged indifferently. She knew that Jaheira was just thinking she was being difficult, but she was too tired to care. She waved Yoshimo to walk on and started following him, ignoring the druid's exasperated sigh.

Jaheira followed after her, trying to remain calm, and wondering how Khalid would have approached the subject. He was always better at confrontations than she was -- both Maiyn and Imoen used to listen to him. Her main concern was, indeed, the fact that Maiyn seemed unwilling or unable to control her rash actions within the city walls -- the elf was far more feral than someone brought up in Candlekeep should have been, and her wild streak and ignorance of laws seemed to grow with time. But what also worried the druid was the fact that this was not the first of Cyric's servants that Maiyn had killed in cold blood.

The priest in Cloakwood had thought his hold spell had caught the whole party, and so he'd began to taunt Yeslick, unaware of the fact that Maiyn was stealthily approaching behind him, readying herself to plunge her sword right through his back. The priest that now lay dead behind them was not even allowed to finish his speech before Jaheira had noticed the ranger's eyes glow faintly with a golden light. Maiyn insisted she hated Cyric and his followers after she saw the conditions of the slaves in the mines; but Jaheira was not convinced by this. The taint was clearly visible in Maiyn now, and there was every reason that Bhaal would bear a bitter resentment to the one who killed his mortal form and ascended to his place...

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Maiyn sulkily sat alone with Jaheira, having heard out the druid's objections to her actions again, and having agreed to at least try and think before drawing her blade upon anyone else while within civilisation. They were sitting in the common room of the Copper Coronet, having finally reached it; Anomen and Kivan had disappeared when the druid began her speech, mumbling something about taking the packs up to their rooms. Yoshimo was off conversing with a few locals, insisting he was trying to find out what had been happening in their absence, but in reality, just wanting to avoid the uncomfortable atmosphere. Minsc and Xan were by the bar, ordering food from the pretty barmaid. Maiyn wasn't sure, but it almost looked as though Xan was attempting to flirt with her.

"I do not wish there to be ill feeling between us over this," said Jaheira after a few minutes of silence.

Maiyn sighed. "There won't be," she said, trying to smile weakly. "I'm just tired and grumpy, and hungry, and excited about finding Imoen, but also scared..."

Jaheira nodded, and reached over to squeeze the ranger's hand. "We will be with her soon."

Maiyn's smile grew in appreciation of the druid's support, but their moment was soon broken by a rowdy bunch of men sitting at a nearby table.

"Oy! Look at th' dolly girl, all sacked up like an 'adventurer'!" jeered the closest one. "Are ye supposed to be tough, or somethin', aye?"

Maiyn glanced at Jaheira, and flashed her most charming smile at the druid, causing a frown of worry to replace the frosty scowl that had previously been adorning the half-elf's face. She sat herself up straight as she turned to look at the man -- a young human with filthy hair, and wearing simple leathers. His two friends were dressed similarly, and likewise as dirty.

"Back off," replied Maiyn, her pleasant tone disguising the bluntness of her words. "I've no interest in causing a disturbance."

This caused howls of laughter. "Oh, o' course not!" continued the man, enjoying himself immensely. "Yer a goody-goody, ain't ye? An adventurer, prancin' through the forests!"

Maiyn grit her teeth slightly; she wasn't sure if he'd recognised them as a ranger and druid, or if he was just coming up with a generalised jibe. She fought the urge to smack him deftly in the mouth, and composed herself before she replied. "Enough of this," she said simply. "I've no wish to cause trouble, sir." She turned back to her table, and noticed that her knuckles were white as she clenched her fists as tightly as she could manage.

"Oh, 'sir', is it?" laughed the man. "I was right, yer a bleedin' coward! Admit it!"

"Please, leave me alone," Maiyn stated frostily, without looking back over.

"'Please leave me alone!'" he mimicked, in a falsely high pitched voice. "What's the matter, aye? Am I scarin' ye down to yer little booties, aye?"

Maiyn slowly turned around to look at them, and something in her eyes caused them to recoil slightly. She assumed it was the unnatural golden glow. "Your barbs have no effect on me," she lied. "I asked you to leave me alone, and I meant it."

As she turned away once more, the men regained their confidence. "A blasted coward!" snorted the leader. "Come and see us when ye're ready for a real man!"

"You knows it Amalas, you knows it!" his friend heckled.

"Aye, come back when ye can have a real man, nancy girl!" agreed his accomplice, laughing loudly.

"What is this?" came a familiar roar. Maiyn turned back to the men when she saw Jaheira's amused expression, and she couldn't stop a smile from creeping across her face. The three men had leapt from their chairs in surprise when Minsc had appeared behind them, having overheard their taunts. "You insult Maiyn and you insult Minsc!" proclaimed the berserker loudly. "There will be liberal butt-kicking now!"

In one swift move, Minsc had grabbed Amalas and his nearest friend and banged their heads together with such force that both crumpled to the ground in a daze. Minsc glared at the third man, who had developed a wet patch around the top of his trousers, and the young human scampered off before the berserker could grab him too.

Minsc nodded his approval at the handling of the situation as he assessed the outcome, and sat down by the two women. Maiyn looked pointedly at Jaheira until the druid raised an eyebrow.

"Are you not going to tell Minsc off?"

"No," replied the half-elf. "He has not killed anyone, unlike certain elves."

Maiyn snorted, but then giggled at Minsc's bemused look.

"Why would the nice Jaheira wish to shout at Minsc and Boo?" he asked, confused. "Minsc and Boo could not stand idly by while the evil men cast such foul words at our friends!"

"Of course not," agreed Maiyn, smiling to the human. "And we appreciate it. Thank you Minsc, and thank you Boo."

The berserker beamed happily, and accepted the mug of ale that Xan handed him. The enchanter wore no expression to reveal he'd overheard any of the events, but he did give the two unconscious men a casual glance before turning away, as if he expected to find stunned men lying around all the time. By the time Anomen and Kivan returned to the group, spirits were high and tales were shared and exchanged.

Amalas and his friend eventually came around, and were escorted out firmly by Hendak before they could cause any further trouble. One by one the companions retired to bed, until only Maiyn was left alone in the common room. She sat with her knees drawn up in front of her, her arms wrapped around her legs, staring into the fire as she drank. She suddenly felt alone, and a pang of regret and melancholy crossed her. With a sigh she rose and approached the bar, checking her pocket for coin. She had plenty to see her through the night.

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Anomen tossed and turned for what seemed like hours before he got up and put his clothes back on. He didn't bother with the armour, preferring instead to just wear a simple tunic, shirt and trousers, planning to only remain downstairs for a short while until he became tired. He quietly locked his room as he left, wandering down the corridor to the stairs, and descended into the common room.

It had become very late; there were only a handful of people left in the establishment and the lights were dimmed. Despite this, he instantly recognised the lone figure of Maiyn sitting at the bar, and he approached her.

"My lady, you are awake late," he said quietly. "May I join you?"

The ranger offered him a beaming smile and nodded, flourishing wildly to a seat beside her. The squire hesitated as he noticed her slightly glazed eyes, and the array of empty glasses sitting on the counter around her, reminding him of his father. Eventually he sat down.

"Is something troubling you, my lady?" he asked.

"Oh, y'know," slurred Maiyn slightly. "Sh'just life. Why ish life sho hard?"

"I do not know," admitted Anomen, suddenly rethinking the wisdom of trying to converse with her. "Perhaps we must face the tests that lie before us so we can better understand who we are."

Maiyn snorted. "I know exshactly who I am!" she said, almost shrieking. Anomen glanced around worriedly; thankfully no one else was close, and what little patronage was left in the inn seemed to be in as bad a state as the elf, at least. "D'you know what it feelsh like t'be me?"

"Well, no-"

"Exshactly!" Maiyn swayed dangerously as she nodded her triumph. "Will I tell you? Will I tell y'aaaaaall about my won'erful life?"

"Well, if you think it would help," offered Anomen.

"Y'know I wash brought up in Canelkeep. I lived there f'r agesh and agesh, me and Imwen and G'rion and Dreppin and Parda and Karan and Teftoril and Winfrop and-"

"Ah, yes, I think I understand," interrupted Anomen. Maiyn nodded sagely at him.

"Lotsh of peoplesh," she said knowingly. "But they might all be dead now, becaushe we met shome doppelgangersh and I'm not shure if they atesh the people they were pretendin' to be or not."

"I see," replied Anomen, not really seeing at all.

"But it doeshn't matter, becaushe they won't let ush go back, anyway. But that wash okay, becaushe we was heroesh in Baldur'sh Gate. Me and Jayheeria and Deenaheer and Minshc and Imwen and Keevon-"

"A fine set of people," said Anomen hastily.

"Yesh!" Maiyn made a move to thump the counter in jubilation, but she missed and almost fell from her stool. Anomen caught her, and sat her back up straight. "Yeshlick died, y'know. Jusht like Aloora did too. Aloora wash a fief."

"I beg your pardon, my lady?"

"A fief. You know, she shtole shtuff."

"Ah."

Maiyn nodded, taking on a dreamy expression. "Coran wash a fief too. I ushed to shpend the nightsh wif him." The ranger didn't notice Anomen shifting uncomfortably, and she turned to look at him with a happy expression. "He wash an elf and a fief and a womanisher!"

Anomen's eyes widened. "My lady, I'm sure you don't mean-"

"I met hish child!" proclaimed Maiyn happily. "She wash sho cute. Her mother wash a human, sho she wash a little half-elf, just like Jayheeria, but lesh grumpy. We had to kill her mother'sh hushband though."

Anomen gaped.

"But it wash okay, becaushe she didn't want him anywaysh, she wanted Coran." Maiyn's voice quietened, and the squire was aghast to see tears forming in her eyes. "Sho when Sharevok killed Coran, Duke... er, whashishface, Girdle?"

"Duke Belt?"

"That'sh the one," nodded Maiyn sincerely. "His clericsh reshur... reshur... raished Coran, but he wouldn't waken up. Sho Keevon made shure he wash taken to Brie... Briel... the li'l baby'sh mother'sh houshe. Becaushe it wash jusht like he wash shtill dead. Yeshlick died!" Maiyn randomly burst into tears, and Anomen awkwardly patted her on the back as she continued her drunken rambling.

"We flooded hish mine, you know. It wash fun. And we killed a lot of koboldsh and orcsh and hobgoblinsh and goblinsh and banditsh-"

"You were well known for your combat abilities," agreed Anomen.

"Yesh," sighed Maiyn. "Did I tell you about Coran? He wash known for hish adulte-"

"Ah, yes," interrupted Anomen quickly. "I believe you mentioned him already."

"Oh. Khalid ish dead too. And Aloora. And Yeshlick. And Deenaheer. And G'rion. And your shiny friendsh. And they're jusht the onesh I know the namesh of. All becaushe of me. And Parda might be dead. And Karan. And Imwen."

"I think, perhaps, you need to go to bed now," said Anomen firmly, standing up and trying to hoist Maiyn into a likewise position.

"I mish him."

Anomen stopped, and looked at the ranger. Her eyes were sad, almost pleading, and there was no sign of the golden tint that he was sure he'd caught a glimpse of before. She looked like a young, frightened girl, and immediately he felt nothing but sorrow and pity for her. "I wish I knew what to say, my lady," he offered, knowing it was of no use. A voice behind him came as a welcome relief, and he turned to see the Xan approaching. He let Maiyn drift back into her seat as he quickly explained to the enchanter how he'd found her already drunk when he came down.

"I will see to her," sighed the elf.

Anomen nodded, somewhat gratefully. "If you need me, I will be in my room. I doubt I can sleep yet, but I have had enough... excitement for one day."

Xan nodded and took up the seat the squire had previously vacated, and Anomen walked slowly to the stairs. He paused at the base, looking back to see Maiyn sobbing into Xan's arms, and he sighed heavily. With a heavy heart, he turned and climbed the stairs, heading to his room.

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This wasn't the first time Maiyn had been completely drunk, Xan knew. He hadn't witnessed the time in the Friendly Arms when Imoen had joined the ranger in a night of alcohol-fuelled revelry, however, so he didn't know what to expect. The priest left them alone as Xan perched precariously on the barstool, his eyes watching Maiyn intently. Eventually she turned to look at him.

"You'sh not Anoimern," she stated decisively. "Ish he dead now too?" Then she started sobbing, and Xan drew her into his arms, stroking her hair as she cried. This lasted for several minutes before she pulled away, and looked around herself with a frown.

"Ish thish The Copper Coroner?" she slurred.

Xan smiled wryly. "Yes, mellonamin. We need to take you to your room now."

Maiyn's eyes widened in horror and she shook her head as she tried in vain to stand up. "I can't go t'bed! He'sh not there, and it'sh sho lonely. I'm tired of being alone. Yeshlick'sh dead, y'know."

"I know," soothed Xan, standing up himself, and firmly putting his arm around the ranger's waist, guiding her between the tables and towards the stairs as she rambled.

"Aloora'sh dead too. And G'rion. Jayheeria hatesh me, doeshn't she? Do you know how m'ny people I've killed?"

"A lot," murmured Xan.

"Ish Imwen dead? Maybe she'sh with G'rion now. Do you think Sharevok will be there too?"

"I wouldn't think so, no." Xan helped Maiyn climb the stairs, letting her talk as much as she wanted so that she wouldn't have time to realise where she was going.

"He'sh my brother, you know," mused Maiyn. "An' you'sh my kin, sho are we like brother and shishter? Would he be your brother ash well? Imwen would be your shishter. Hey, remember that chicken we shpoke to? Maybe Sharevok wash poly… poly... changed shape. Like thoshe doppelgangersh. They might have killed all my friendsh at home. Aloora ish dead! And sho ish Yeshlick!"

"Here," said Xan, removing the key from her hand as she waved it around animatedly. He swiftly unlocked the door of her room, and helped her stagger in until she sat down on the bed. A wave of melancholy seemed to settle on her as she looked around.

"It looksh like the Blushing Mermaid," noted Maiyn in a depressed tone.

"It's a room in an inn," replied Xan simply, kneeling down and pulling the ranger's boots off. "They tend to look similar."

"It'sh sho empty."

Xan put the boots safely under the bed so Maiyn wouldn't fall over them if she got up for anything, and looked up into her eyes.

"I'm sho lonely."

Xan nodded slightly to her words, and reached up to carress her cheek gently. A single tear rolled down, the warmth of it soaking into his skin. Slowly he moved closer to her, until his face was mere inches away from hers. Her gaze stayed fixed upon him as his fingers continued their strokes, but then she closed her eyes and he realised what he was doing.

Abruptly he pulled back, standing up quickly and hoisting her to her feet. Her eyes stayed closed, and he realised with relief that she'd shut them due to tiredness, rather than the expectation of a kiss. He somehow managed to support her weight as she grumbled groggily, and pulled back the blanket on her bed. Then he let her lay down, ignoring the fact she was still in her leather armour, and waited beside her until her breathing was regular and peaceful.

He managed to curl up on the chair, feeling as awake as he had when he first went down to the tavern to get a drink to soothe his dry throat. He'd debated returning to his own room now she was settled, but her words of loneliness echoed around his head. Instead he remained where he was, and in time he drifted off into his own reverie.

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Maiyn woke abruptly to find herself in her bed, with her armour sticking into her in uncomfortable places. She sat up slowly, feeling dizzy and sick and trying to remember what had happened. Then she noticed Xan.

Suddenly she had a vague recollection of her inebriated state, and she groaned inwardly, removing her armour as quietly as she could. In the end she left only a simple robe on, and she padded gently across the chamber to where Xan was sitting, curled up on an oversize chair. Gently she perched next to him, being careful to not interrupt his reverie, and slowly she nestled further and further into his side, welcoming his arms as they came around her in a hazy embrace. He mumbled something, but she didn't hear the words, and he drifted back to his memories. Maiyn smiled slightly, closing her eyes as her head lay on his shoulder, and drifting back into her sleep.

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The next day she woke as Xan's movements stirred her from her slumber. He was looking at her with surprise, and she managed to offer him a weak smile as she lazily nestled further into his hold. His arms settled back around her, and they sat in a comfortable silence for a long time before either spoke.

"Why did you come over?" Xan's voice was low, almost a murmur.

"I woke up and saw you. You looked so alone. Why did you stay here?"

"You were upset at being alone."

Another silence fell, and slowly they looked to each other. Maiyn swallowed hard before she spoke. "We are both lonely," she observed.

Xan nodded. "The doomed are always lonely."

"At least we can be here for each other," she continued. "If... if you'd like us to be."

Xan arched an eyebrow at her, but before he could speak she'd raised her lips to his, and kissed him gently in a lingering embrace. He made no effort to pull away, but as they parted she could see a mixture of emotions in his eyes.

"I'm not him," he said quietly.

Maiyn's brow wrinkled in sadness. "I know. I wouldn't use you as a replacement."

"What would you use me as?"

"You're my friend. A good friend. I..."

Xan shook his head, and gently removed his arms from her. "This isn't right," he said gloomily. "It's pity, or misplaced sympathy. You're not yourself right now, and you're a Bhaal-" He stopped abruptly, but Maiyn stood up and moved away.

"I'm sorry," he said quietly. "I didn't mean it like that."

"No, you're right," she said. "One man was foolish enough to let himself care for me, and look what happened to him. It'd be folly to repeat the process."

Xan sighed, and opened his mouth to speak again, but she shook her head and watched as he quietly walked to the door and left the room. Slowly she dressed, all emotion having drained from her as the enchanter left the room. A cursory glance in the room's mirror told her that she was presentable, and she made her way downstairs. The only good thing about today, she mused bitterly, is that I don't appear to have a hangover this time.