Fingers tracking tracks on my face
Uncover the cracks in me.
You said that's where light shines through us.
Kiss my mouth, I'll believe.
You're tearing me apart. It's beautiful, it's beautiful
-Vega4
Bodies on top of each other. Sebastian underneath, lying vertically, and I'm on top of him horizontally, torso resting on his stomach while he brushes his fingers against my ribs. I'm half dangling off the plastic recliner but it feels good on my lower back.
Upside down world, where everything seems right.
"Favorite swear word?"
"Fuck." I immediately say, pulling myself up to grin cheekily. "You?"
He purses his mouth, pretending to think. "Tough call. It's a close one between fuck and pussy."
"Oh, just say you like both."
"Do I?" He asks nonchalantly, slipping his hand underneath my bikini. His hand rests on my mound for a while before I feel his finger wiggling. "Let me check."
"Not here! Someone might see!" I retaliate by grinding myself against him. He groans out loud and crushes me against him.
"Where's your sense of adventure?"
"Where's your sense of decency? Someone could be watching us right now!"
"Then they'd get quite a show." He grins, his dimple creasing his cheek. Handsome Sebastian, mine for the taking.
"You're insatiable."
"You're irresistible."
"You're cheesy."
"You're falling for it anyway."
"The only thing that's going to fall is you… on your ass when I push you off."
"Really…?"
"Really."
He suddenly stands up, carrying me with him. Before I know it, his arms are outstretched and he's holding me just above the pool. I curse and scramble to get off him but he holds me farther out.
"Sebastian, I'm going to kill you if you…!"
He lets go.
The cold water makes me shriek and he stands there laughing at me. No, laughing isn't the right word. The asshole was guffawing at the angry look on my face.
"I told you not to throw me in!"
"Kathryn, just because we're together now doesn't mean I'm going to be all gallant and noble. Please. You know me better than that."
"Get in here now before I pull you in."
He backs away, grinning. "No thank you."
"Sebastian…" I reach behind and pull the knot free, enjoying his smile disappear when I dangle my bikini top in front of him. "Are you absolutely sure you don't want to get in?"
"Quite sure, yes."
"No sex until we graduate! Get in here now! It's not fucking fair, if I'm all wet then you should be too!"
"Hmm… no thanks." He leans back, putting on his sunglasses. The smug bastard.
I narrow my eyes and hurriedly put my top back on, swimming gracefully to the ladder so I can pull myself up.
"Don't get water all over me." He calls out, trying not to laugh.
"Screw you." I sit on top of him, making sure he gets wet anyway. "You're being such a prick to me."
"Aww, are you pouting again?" He wipes the water from his eyes, squinting at me. "How cute."
I make a face. "Not 'cute'. I'm not fucking 'cute'."
He licks his lips, staring at me. "Tell me what you are."
"I am…" I lower myself on to him, getting the idea. I nibble his ear, flicking my tongue over his ear lobe. His breathing starts to go faster, and his fingers dance across my back. "Sublime."
"Mhmm…"
I slip my fingers under his head, grasping his hair. I kiss my way to his mouth, pausing to linger a few inches from it as I continue. "Gorgeous."
"I think so too." He licks my lower lip, smiling.
"I am…" I lick my palm and slip it underneath his shorts. He exhales a little before panting.
"You're what?"
"Horny."
"How horny?"
"Very, very horny." I stroke his cock, enjoying how his features contorted. My darling puppet. Up and down. Blue eyes shut. Open. Narrowed two circles of ocean. "Would you care to make it all better?"
"I think I would be… oh fuck… willing."
"Good." I withdraw my hand and smile at his erection. "Let's take this to bed, big brother."
He carries me, holding me securely. We head back to the house and I feel lighter than I'd ever been.
"Don't drop me."
"I won't." He replies solemnly.
---
Night time.
He's just staring. There's nothing in that gaze except the fact that he's observing me.
"I told you, I can't go another round Sebastian." I yawn, rubbing my eyes. "I'm tired and it's cold."
Peach mouth blooming into a smile.
"I'm a different version when I'm with you."
"What does that mean?"
"Nothing." He kisses me – really kisses me – and then I hesitantly respond.
"This is real." He replies against my hair, his voice nearly a whisper. "Right now. I'm telling the truth."
"Okay. Seriously, are you taking anything and if yes, can I have some?"
"I'll come back." He promises, and immediately I sense the tone of his voice. Wistful as he touches my stomach, urgent as he holds on tighter.
"Are you leaving?"
He pauses and then nods. I pull away. Tense. Ready to strike.
"When?"
He looks at his hands. "Soon. Just for a week, I've already spoken with the dean."
"Why?"
"To sort things out."
"What the fuck is there to sort out?"
"Kathryn, can we not fight right now? Please?"
"To hell with that!" My voice rises, taking my temper along with it. "I've been fucking patient with you, Valmont. You know that, you know that this is fucking different for me. The least you could do is give me a fucking break and tell me what the hell is going on with your life! I think I have a right to know!"
He watches me solemnly for a few minutes, remaining quiet.
"Sebastian, you still don't trust me?"
"Please, Kathryn… please can we just drop this?"
"How the fuck can you expect me to drop this when you're the one who started in the first place? How the fuck do you expect me to react? Am I supposed to smile and give you a fucking hug, wish you well and kiss you goodbye? Am I supposed to fucking keep quiet about this?? Am I supposed to fucking accept the fact that you're shutting me out? Am I supposed to fucking accept that you're leaving me and I don't know where you're going?"
"No."
"Then tell me what the fuck you want! Jesus, Sebastian! Why the hell are we here in the first place? Is this some last fuck session for you?"
"I'm coming back!"
"Well maybe I don't want you back!"
He looks stunned, then hurt. "You don't mean that."
"Oh, fuck you. Go fuck yourself." I yank the robe off the chair and wrap it around myself, leaving him.
---
I glance at the door before angrily punching Blaine's number on the phone. Sorry if I break it, Aunt Helen.
"Blaine, I need Annette's number."
"Fuck, Kathryn. You called in the middle of the fucking night to ask me for her number? Seriously?"
"I need to talk to her!"
"But I don't want to wake Greg up…"
"Now!"
"Alright, alright." He recognizes my anger immediately and I hear McConnell mumbling. They talk for a moment and I wonder if Blaine's getting serious with Jock Head. "You got a pen?"
"Tell me and I'll remember it."
Blaine relays the information and I hang up after the last number. I don't know what time it is in Kansas right now and I don't really care.
Ring.
"H…hello?"
"Annette?"
"Who is this?"
"It's Kathryn."
There is a pause.
"Kathryn Merteuil, Sebastian's stepsister."
"I know who you are." She sounds bewildered and sleepy. I hope I did wake her up. She still annoys me.
"Listen, did you ever find out where Sebastian's been going to for two weeks when you were together?"
"Huh?"
"Annette, we both know we don't want to talk to each other, so if you wouldn't mind, please don't make me repeat my question. Did you fuck him over because he was with someone else?"
"Why are you asking me this?"
"It doesn't matter. I need to know. Did you ever find out?"
"He…" Her voice trails off and I press the phone harder against my ear. I pull my knees to my chin, staring at the dimly lit lamp. "he came home one night, smelling like someone else. Flowers. Something light… I thought he was drunk at first, and I asked him where he was but he wouldn't say… we uh… we were going to do it but then he just stopped. He just looked at me and said he didn't know what to do. He said, 'I can't change for you.', then we had a fight… he left. He said 'She's coming back soon… I'm sorry. I never did anything…' and I went to Trevor after that. Sebastian caught me and we broke up."
"She's coming back?" I repeat faintly, "Who? Who is?"
But then maybe I didn't have to ask who it was. I think I already know who.
"I never found out and we never talked about it afterwards." Annette yawns, "Kathryn, why are we talking about this? Are you… are you and Sebastian…?"
"No." I cut her off. "No, nothing's going on. Thank you and goodbye."
I hang up before she can reply. Just in time. Sebastian starts knocking and I open the door. Blond blue eyed brother, seeking for my forgiveness the way I'm looking for the truth. No, it isn't enough. He's freaking out because she's coming back. That much I know now. Let Selena come back. I've been dying to fuck her up.
"Kathryn…"
"Forget it." I shake my head, walking past him. "Let's just sleep. I don't want to argue anymore, I'm getting tired of it."
He follows me wordlessly and for a while we just walk. He comes closer and eventually places his hand on my waist.
"Kathryn." He murmurs again, and I try not to react to the way his voice sounded when he said my name. He presses me against the wall, his fingers slipping between mine.
I roll my head back, already caught up with him. He slips his hand underneath and runs his fingers down my thighs. I shiver. My body heats up. He licks my neck before kissing it and I suppress a groan. Right there in the middle of the hallway, he pulls down my panties. Instead of worrying whether we were going to get caught, the risky behavior only makes me want it more.
"Sebastian."
Communicating with only our names.
Until:
In my lust-addled mind, I turn around and he rests his neck on the crook of my arm. He simply stares at me.
"Don't ever leave me." I say before I have the time to process it. "Say it. Say you won't. It'll just be us, like always."
He closes his eyes and I wanted to take his tongue and form the words for him.
"Say it." I hate how my voice quavers. "You have to say it. It was never supposed to go this far, but now it has. I need to hear you say it. Promise me or I'll hurt you. I'll hurt her too. You know that I will, Sebastian."
He opens his eyes. "Conner's back in New York."
It isn't exactly what I expected to hear from him but I take a moment to process his response. "Why are you telling me this?"
"I don't know."
"This isn't about Conner."
"I know."
"Don't change the fucking topic."
"I don't want to lie to you."
"That's what you're doing right now."
"Don't make me promise anything, Kathryn."
I turn away and put my panties back on. I hear him sigh. He starts to follow. I slam the door and he opens it again.
"I'm going to yell at you and say something insulting, then you're going to reply with something equally scathing." I help myself to a glass of wine while he stands there quietly. "We're going to sleep in different rooms, but then one of us will go and apologize. In all likelihood, it's going to be you. You're going to slip under the covers with me and I'll let you. We might fuck, or we might just actually sleep. That's how it's going to be, but I'm too tired to take the route tonight. Let's cut through the bullshit right now and instead of saying things we don't mean, I'll say something that I do mean. I wish I never felt this way about you."
He looks at me blankly, before the weight of my words settles on him. He holds out his hand. "Come here."
I shake my head, "Come back."
He holds on to me tightly, kissing my forehead. Tentatively, I hook my arms underneath his, placing my hands on his shoulders. He feels so good to hug, warm and solid.
"It was so easy when all I wanted to do was fuck you." He tells me slowly and I smile.
"I know."
---
"Flowers."
He follows the direction of my finger and frowns. "Those aren't flowers. That's a big rock."
"It is not a big rock. That's only because you lack imagination." I roll my eyes haughtily, pointing insistently at the shadows on the walls near the window. "Can't you see it?"
"What I can't see is why we're creating pictures out of shadows when we could be fucking."
"Sebastian, is it your intention to kill me? I'm still sore."
"But you said I could put it anywhere, remember? The bet? Car accident and cousin fucking aside, I did win."
"I've paid you back so many times you probably owe me now."
He palms my breast gently and I fidget against him.
"See that one? It looks like a piano. The one my grandfather had… I used to play with him. We played Debussy together, and he was the one who taught me. On his fiftieth birthday, I remember wanting to go to him but there was this big formal party and there were so many guests who were talking to him. I was with Mother then, and I thought that maybe he'd forgotten me but then…" I laugh at myself; at the absurdity of my child's mind and the fact that I was actually saying this out loud. "You know what? Forget it, it's a stupid memory."
Sebastian nudges my cheek with his forehead. He smells really nice even if was a bit sweaty earlier. "It's not a stupid memory. I'd like to hear about it."
"Well… I was just seated there and everybody was talking to him, but then the band started to play Claire de Lune, and he went to me with his hand outstretched. I was really little then, around seven or so. He carried me and I remember feeling triumphant because here was a man whom everybody wanted to be with tonight and he was dancing with me. It was the first time I ever felt safe with someone. He died when I was fifteen. Sometimes when I'm furious and I need to calm down, I play that song. I think it helps and I don't throw or break things as much."
He jumps off the bed and grins at me widely, his eyes shining. He holds out his hand.
"Um… what are you doing?"
He tugs my arm and I groan, "Come on, stand up. Nobody can see us."
"Sebastian, my back hurts from fucking you. I'm not exactly worried about appearances."
"Please?"
I reluctantly obey and he slips his arm around my waist. I look at him, expecting him to say why he dragged me out of bed but he only smiles furtively.
"Okay… what we doing?"
And then he starts humming near my ear. This unbelievably sappy display should have made me laugh, but it didn't. The deep voice that resonated from his throat made me tingle. Not sexually, although I would have preferred for it to be that way.
He starts moving. Swaying slowly, to give me time to react.
"Sebastian, this is stupid."
"It's not stupid if it means something to you." He leans down and kisses me gently. The mystery of a kiss. I do feel better. "You, Kathryn. Of all people…"
I let him dance with me for a while, and I watch him. The shadows did nothing to obscure his features. If anything, the contrasting of his pale skin and the darkness made him better looking.
Our naked bodies were perfectly at ease, and we weren't conscious about it after all. I can't help it. I start kissing him halfway into his horrible hummed rendition of Debussy's piece. The music stops. Be quiet, you tone deaf young man. Let me kiss you for hours, the way I want to. His hands leave my waist and wander to places you don't usually touch when you're dancing with someone.
"I thought… you were… sore?" He gasps when I stroke his cock.
"Shut up and touch me back."
He grins and we make our way back to the bed. I grasp his skin and claw at it, already deep in the throes of pleasure.
"Don't leave. Don't leave. Don't leave." I mutter, holding him close as I eventually come.
---
I wake up at the shrill sound of my phone ringing. Torn between throwing it across the room and pulling the pillow over my head, I sigh and answer it. The other side's empty. Sebastian's always been an early riser. I rub my eyes and touch the dent his head had left on the pillow before finally answering the phone.
"Blaine, what the fuck?" I snap crankily.
"Kathryn," Blaine's voice sounds excited and I know immediately that he's given Selena W. a proper last name. "you will not fucking believe this—"
"No." I interrupt, watching Sebastian as he comes out of the bathroom looking relaxed. He catches my eye and smiles at me. "Not now. Tell me when I get back."
"What? Seriously? But—"
"I said not now."
"Why not?"
"It's too early to destroy something perfect. Goodbye, I'll see you soon." I close the phone and head to the bathroom, brushing my teeth as Sebastian put on his clothes. When we were both done, I saunter over to him and he automatically kisses me.
"Was that Tuttle?"
"Yes."
"Hmm." He muses, "Did he have bad news?"
"He might."
"Like what?"
"It doesn't matter. I'll take care of it either way."
Sebastian chuckles, brushing back my hair before cupping my jaw.
"Of course you will. Kathryn the evil manipulator comes back. Be careful, sis. I know you're more than capable but I worry about you sometimes."
"You don't have to worry about anything at all."
"Yes, I do." He replies gently, "Sometimes your plans have a way of hurting you in the end."
A/N: Aww. They're just basking in the glow of their couple status. It was too early to destroy something beautiful, although I'm getting there. Okay, I'll answer the questions you may or may not ask. One, obviously after Sebastian said that Conner's back in town, it means that Conner is indeed back. No, I can't answer as to whether or not he and Kathryn will hook up again but do you think they will? Hmm... Yes, the lovable quirky homosexual will give us an idea who Selena is, or at least give us her last name. Just who is this girl that's been creating all this fuss and distrust between the couple who both say they're just fuck buddies when it's very clear that they're not? Is she... a bitch? Is she like Annette? Or Amanda St. Clair? Gia Griffin? Or is she like that twistedly complex blonde supermodel in the two other stories I wrote earlier? Personally it'd be fun to write her like the last character I mentioned but that would take loads of time. Oh well. We'll see.
Same deal. Click. Type. Submit. Be nice and share the love, or I might forever condemn you to wonder who the fuck the elusive Selena is.