Chapter Twenty Five
Hermione opened her eyes to a welcoming sight. It was the clean, white, linen sheet that covered her bruised body and the butter-yellow sunlight that dropped its' delicate fingers onto the stone floors of the hospital wing of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry.
She looked up into the soft aged face of Madam Pomphrey, who was caught off guard, and was checking her pulse with a look on her face of gentle kindness. As soon as the nurse saw her eyes open, the lips thinned and the she took on the sternness that made her a legend at the school. Sitting in a chair, fast asleep, was Professor Minerva McGonagall. She was snoring gently; purring like a contented cat.
"Well, it is about time you were awake, Miss Granger!" Madam Pomphrey said with her professional voice and loud enough to wake McGonagal.
Hermione studied the wall across from her while she let her clouded thoughts clear and the memories of the past weeks and days sort themselves out. The pain followed almost immediately.
McGonagal stood as soon as Madam Pomphrey had made her declaration and waited until Hermione rolled her eyes in her direction. "It is good to have you back, Hermione," she said.
Hermione sat upright with a start and began to yank and pull feebly at the covers on her bed, "Harry! We've got to go after Harry!"
"Madam Pomphrey, we must keep her quiet," McGonagall was saying, pulling the covers back in place.
"How long?" Hermione gasped, pulling on McGonagal's arm. "How long have I been here?"
The door to the room opened and Dumbledore entered, along with Ron and Remus Lupin.
"Ah, good," Dumbledore said, "I see you are awake. Excellent." He was smiling; but it was a tired, weary smile that he wore. He stepped up beside McGonagal. Remus hurried to her beside and Ron followed.
Hermione was half out of the bed. "Professor Dumbledore, we've got to follow…go back…return. We've got to go after Harry." She was frantic and struggling to push McGonagal's hands away.
"Sit back in your bed Miss Granger and we will discuss it," Dumbledore said in a tone that was firm, yet soothing.
She stopped and looked in his eyes and felt like she'd fallen in a pool of cool clear water. It effectively cooled her fevered activity; she stopped and sat back. "Where's Professor Snape?" she asked, ignoring Lupin and Ron.
Dumbledore nodded to Madam Pomphrey, who left the room. Lupin began to pace the floor between the beds and Ron inched his way up towards her until he was within reaching distance.
"Professor Snape has gone after Harry. He brought you home to us and then he left," Dumbledore continued in his soothing voice and patted her hand, "You have done enough Miss Granger. This is beyond your skills and your strength. You must calm yourself and rest."
Hermione turned to the pacing Lupin. "Where were you? How was he captured? Is he dead? Professor Snape said there was a link between mentor and initiate. Can you tell what's happening to Harry?" Ron reached for her hand and she moved it out of his range. "Don't you understand? HE'S GOING TO DIE!" She yanked the covers down and slipped out of bed, slipping past Dumbledore to confront Lupin in her nightgown and bare feet. "Aren't you going to help him?"
"He can't 'Mione," Ron said. "This is the night of the full moon. He'll transform."
Lupin stopped in his tracks, glanced at Ron and then stood looking at her with a very odd expression. "Where did you come from, Hermione?" he finally asked. "Describe it to me. I may still have time to prevent a disaster."
"Professor Snape said something about a mortuary; and then, we were cornered by a huge snake just near the entrance to an underground city. There was a canal there and docks," she answered quickly, her face twisted suddenly into one of disgust and loathing.
Dumbledore had stepped up beside them and Remus looked at him.
"You cannot go, Remus," Dumbledore said quietly. "It will do no good, not for Harry, for Severus, for you."
Lupin's frowned in grief and he choked out the words, "Always Albus, it is always this way! I am no use to my friends, to the people I care about!"
"Professor Lupin," Hermione took his hand, pulled it to her breast and drew his attention to her. He stopped, stared at her and for a moment they were looking into each other's eyes like lovers. She whispered, "Tonight is the night of the full moon, but it is also the night of the lunar eclipse." His face changed as if stunned by the news. In a flash, he smiled, cupped her face in his hands; kissed her full on the lips and flew from the room, leaving her standing with her mouth open.
Snape pulled his cloak around him and closed his eyes. His body called out for rest and he deeply desired the time to allow himself the luxury of sleeping; but it wasn't to be. Contrary to what others might have thought about him, he was alert and aware. Perhaps, he thought , more alert than I have been for a long time.
The boy, her son, the child she had tried to protect for so long, was now in peril; and he had put him there. Snape realized that the renewed energy and concentration he was feeling was connected to this new and dangerous situation.
After years of stagnation, the Potter boy had emerged and from then on the dark forces had been stirred into activity. His mental and physical skills, along with his emotional repertoire, were now in full operation. If he had been deadly before, he was beyond lethal now; he was a force to be reckoned with.
He lay in the boat and watched the house elves row him upstream from the ocean through a large cavernous mouth and into the stygian blackness of the canal. Most wizards and witches or even muggles, coming across this particular cave opening would shy away from it. Its' presence was that of death and decay and putrescence; not unlike an immense sewer.
He thought about that, and other things. He'd managed to take the girl, Granger to Hogwarts and have her attended to and had accepted some emergency care from the witch Madam Pomphrey, before once again heading out. Her ministrations had been enough to repair some of the damage and he had been able to apparate back to the canal. Snape knew that the Dark Lord would not return to the mortuary, but Lupin would start his search from there. He knew the Granger girl could direct him there.
Because Lupin knows where it is," Snape growled the unspoken answer to an unspoken question silently to himself . It had been in that very underground room where he and Black and Potter had come charging in on Lily and him, and Riddle so very long ago. Snape's thoughts returned to that night. He shied away mentally from mentioning the name of the Dark Lord, even mentally. That would make him vulnerable. No, he thought, best to protect one's mind from that kind of intrusion.
He and Lily had been very young, too young, he decided, as he reminisced. After all the years of being around Riddle he had learned a great deal; he had learned caution. Back then, they were young and risk-takers; Lily more so than he. How could we have known what horrors we might be walking into? he questioned. We didn't, he concluded; but he had learned about them afterwards.
Riddle was not beyond using human physical tortures to satisfy his lust for pain and terror. He had a daily diet of it. What Snape knew he enjoyed more, was the mental tortures, the use of the dark arts. Snape had witnessed the destruction of the minds of the Longbottoms' and he knew the mental anguish and pain that Bertha Jorkins had endured before Riddle had shown mercy.
Mercy? Snape thought. No, not mercy, he decided, that word does not apply to Riddle.
Riddle was beyond awarding mercy. He had probably just grown tired of the cat and mouse game and had killed her. After all, what could have been left of the witch? he mused calmly, Not much- just a shell.
He and Lily had been lucky. Riddle was still young himself. Even though he had spent years sharpening his skills and learning the dark arts, Riddle still had a remnant of humanity left in him. That night he had not used his mental tortures right away. They had pursued their plan with some confidence.
He and Lily had discussed it at some length. He was to leak the information about her and the Order to Riddle, allow herself to be taken by Severus as his prisoner to the Dark Lord. Riddle already knew about the prophecy, the part that Severus had overheard, but he had also been informed about the Elixir of Life, the Potion of Immortality, the Fountain of Youth. Snape laughed aloud unexpectedly at the absurdity of the names and sent the nearest elf into paroxysms of shaking fear.
Severus ignored it and continued his musings. The fact that such a thing existed had been leaked to Riddle by the Ministry wizard; the spy from the Department of Mysteries. It had been the perfect assassination plan. Riddle wanted the two children; Neville Longbottom and Harry Potter. But he also wanted the potion. He knew that James Potter worked as a hit wizard. What better way to take care of both. Abduct the wife and use her to bring the child to him and force the father to steal the potion.
Riddle thought Lily had brought the potion to him. They had been trying to persuade HIM that it was the real thing; that she was there to bargain with him, to exchange the potion for her son's life. What Riddle didn't know or understand was that Lily Potter was really Lily Evans- and he was the murderer of her parents.
Snape snarled at the house-elf that sat at end of his outstretched feet. "Move it!" The little beggar had interrupted his mental meanderings by slowing his in rowing efforts.
The wizard could not abide house elves. He'd had them in his own home growing up, at Snape Manor. He knew of few elves that would not cut your throat in the night if given a chance. Many of them hated their enslavement, resented their masters and refused to act for themselves and do something about it.
When he was young, Severus often wondered why they did not rise up and fight the wizard domination. Now, wizards worked frantically to suppress any such outburst out of fear of a bloodbath. Whether one wants to or not, he was thinking to himself, one must put a foot on their necks and watch them out of the corner of the eye. In particular, these scabrous elves who served one master and only one.
How things have changed, he thought. How I have changed.
When he was seventeen, he had looked upon the world with a sour, despairing eye. It had been Lily Evans who had changed that for him. Her kind attentions, encouragements and gentleness had almost turned it around for him. He had never experienced that from anyone else.
I wonder if it would surprise you to learn, Lily, that the world is worse than you ever thought it could become. I am so glad you are away from all of this, my dearest love. It was a way to sooth himself when he grieved or when he was preparing for battle, although somewhere in his brain he knew that he deceived himself; she had not loved him. Still, he chose to talk to her as he always had; as if she were present.
During her life, when they worked together through many months, he'd become accustomed to conversing with her about all kinds of things. He had not stopped even after her death. I will find him, Lily, he thought. I will bring him home to you.
The canal was a busy thoroughfare. Small ferries and small boats were going in both directions up and down on the dimly lit river. One was clever if they kept their hands inside the crafts and did not allow them to trail in the waters. Grindylows, Mermen and others trolled the underground waters for unwary travelers. It was not unknown for wizards or other creature to be pulled overboard and drowned in the murky depths.
The smell on the other hand, was almost unbearable; as was the rest of the underground world. Snape had grown use to the pungent, acrid odor and allowed himself a moment to close his eyes. Traveling on the river was best accomplished by allowing one's mind to drift elsewhere. That way you did not have to look at the caged creatures that went by on seaward-bearing boats, bound for larger vessels. Such creatures, human or not, were headed for a hell that was like all hells, he thought, a place where one wishes they could die and knows that it will be a long time coming.
His mind wandered back to the room under the mortuary. Potter and his friends had learned more than Severus would ever have wanted anyone to know about the days when he and Lily had been a team; two people fighting a war all by themselves. He cringed slightly as he thought about sitting at Aberforth's in the light of day, with Remus Lupin in the room, watching the moving pictures. Combined with Percy's report and the films, which Severus was sure Percy had told Riddle about, his life had been exposed.
The boy, he said to himself. Lily's son. How very like her he has become. The thought did not bring him pleasure. The boy was head strong, but then Lily had been head strong; kind and gentle, and yet firm. Severus felt a familiar warmth somewhere near his heart. He chased it away by thinking about the boy's peril. Harry Potter had been very brave in facing the snake, had been very self-sacrificing in saving him and the Granger girl; but very foolish, Severus decided.
Still, the boy can not hope to survive alone.
Surprisingly, Riddle had not tried to enter Potter's mind again since he had possessed him at the Ministry. Snape perused that in his mind. And he-Severus-had not suffered any feelings through his link, that would tell him that Potter was being tortured. So there is still a chance, he decided, minute, but still there, that I can reach him in time.
Severus felt himself drifting in a state of wakefulness and on the edge of a daydream. He touched the wood of the small boat and inhaled deeply of the fetid odors just to stay in touch with his current reality; and yet, allowed himself to return to that night, as if returning to it he would be able to glean some small piece of information from it that he had not learned after thinking about it a million times.
The three of them had plunged through the door at the top of the stairwell, their wands pointing into the room. The first was James Potter. Snape was standing over Lily pointing his wand at her where she groveled on the floor. It was his wand that had cast the spell but not his mind. Riddle was standing in the corner, in the dark, motionless and had possessed Severus. The two minds were locked in one brain and Riddle was in charge.
She had looked up into his eyes when Riddle had used the first Cruciatus Curse and he could see her surprise. He wanted desperately to tell her that he wasn't himself. Riddle had learned some dark torture; some curse called the Unforgivable Curse, and he was using one on her. Riddle laughed at her through his mouth, cursed her and watched her back arch in agony; but she didn't cry out, not once.
Severus could remember the pain in his skull as Riddle continued the torture. He could still taste the coppery taste in his own mouth from the blood as he bit his tongue in agony. And still, he protected his mind, shielded his thoughts, so that Riddle would not know that he loved her. He knew she would hate him if he revealed his double identity to the Dark Lord.
Even now, he could hear his own personal screams, No! NO! Don't hurt her! and watch as his own wand came up one more time and the word, 'CRUCIO!', shouted from his own lips.
"Agh!" Severus shook his head, opened his eyes and sat up. The pain from his wounds sharpened his internal anger. He'd relived that nightmare thousands of times and it still had the ability to shake him. He sat at the bow of the boat and watched the familiar docks coming slowly into view in the light of flaming torches. He could hear the noise and the smell became, if possible, even more cloying and rancid.
His mind was stuck in playback and even as he saw the shanties and the figures of people and creatures and beasts, he also saw James Potter roaring down the stairs, Sirius Black and Remus Lupin following; Riddle disapparating and Lily lying on the floor at his feet with his wand pointed at her.
Somewhere in his mind Severus admitted that if he had been James Potter at that moment, he would have ripped his head off. He would not have used a wand; the force of his own rage would have given him the strength. Snape frowned, his lip curling in disgust at the memory. And then, his face smoothed and he squeezed his eyes closed for a brief moment, because the picture was vividly played out once again behind his closed eyelids.
Lily rose, struggled to her feet, reached behind her and pulled him into her to shield him and then turned to her husband and friends and shouted with as much strength as she could muster, "No, you mustn't. He has not harmed me!" Her hand was out and the other was behind her holding his cloak. Severus could not believe what he heard; could not understand what she was saying. It was he, his wand, his mouth that had spoken the words. How could she know that Riddle had possessed him- she couldn't! But she believed in him, had faith in him!
"Lily, stand away!" Potter shouted his wand pointed at them.
"NO!" she shouted. Severus stood in shock, speechless, unable to move. His mind had been abandon abruptly and he was trying to get his bearings.
"I'll get him!" Black shouted, bounding across the room, skirting around Potter. Lupin stood on the stairs, his wand out, surveying the scene from above.
Lily reached over to Severus' outstretched hand and took the wand from it, swinging around to face Black and Potter. "Stop! I tell you I won't let you hurt him. Our code name is Phoenix!"
That stopped Black's charge. Severus looked down at the woman backed into his chest, at red-brown hair matted with soil and dust and wanted desperately to see her face. What he could see was the faces of his childhood enemies. Potter dropped his arm in astonishment when he heard the words. Lupin's head dropped and he slowly sat on the stairs and grasped hold of the railing and stared out into space. Black stood; wand extended, glaring at both of them.
"That's a lie!" Sirius shouted. "He's made you say that, Lily! Why would you ever work with this slime ball?"
Severus once again, for the millionth time, felt the rage rushing through him. He sat, crouched in the boat, his cloak pulled tight around him, glaring at the house-elves, his mind focused on a time long ago. The elves rowed even faster, each one not daring to stare him in the eye.
"Stand away, Lily," Potter said.
"I won't, James," she answered back. At this, Severus reached up to push her aside.
"Do you care….?" James began and then could not bring himself to say more.
"He is one of Voldemort's followers, Lily," Sirius raged. "A Death Eater! Voldemort was just here. He probably helped him torture the Longbottoms. He responsible for many deaths!"
"I know him," Lily said calmly, pushing back into Severus' chest. "He is my friend, as you all are. But I will not let you hurt him."
"Lily," Severus started to say and was interrupted.
"Speak again and I will kill you myself you filth, you swine!" Black screamed.
"Stop it!" Lily stepped forward again,. Her voice sounded exhausted. "We are friends; Severus is my friend and ally. If you harm him, you must do it through me."
"Lily!" Sirius stopped, his face filled with emotion. Severus knew exactly what he was feeling; could read it in the eyes of Sirius Black and Remus Lupin, who was on his feet again and coming down the stairs. They all loved her, just as he did.
"No!" she exclaimed and turned. "I made a promise."
Severus saw it coming before she did. He threw her roughly aside and tried to move to avoid the spell. Black screamed it out. Lily, being very well trained and holding Snape's wand, spun around and directed a spell back at him. Potter had stepped in to push Sirius aside and took the full force of the spell Lily had used. She stepped back in horror and dropped the wand. Severus caught it before it fell to the ground and turned it on Sirius.
That was all it had taken. Severus could remember every detail of the look of betrayal on Black's face, the pain Potter was feeling and Lupin's panic as he raced down the stairs.
Snape sat in the bow and waited as the elves caught lines and secured the boat to the docks. He was glaring and was not aware of the thundercloud look to his features. The memories were strong, even after so many years.
Severus felt the wand in his hand and turned. There was no stopping the rage he felt. They had just endured the most horrific kind of pain and torture; Lily had endured it; and now they were going to be attacked. He threw the first spell, using the now very familiar Cruciatus Curse. He directed it at the man who had stolen her from him; he directed it at James Potter.
Lupin held her back. She was so weakened that she collapsed at the foot of the stairs, tears streaming down her face. All that Severus could hear was the single word she repeatedly screamed, "NO, NO, NO!"
Potter had trained as a hit wizard for the ministry and had been very, very good. Once begun, there had been no stopping the duel until James Potter and he had lain exhausted on the ground. Sirius had fled the scene, enraged at Lily's betrayal, Lupin had followed. She crawled to him first.
"Lily," he coughed out, reaching for her face.
"Severus," she touched his face gently. "I will send for help for you."
"Stay with me," he begged.
"I do not love you, Severus," she said in a whisper. "I love my husband and I am going to have another child. I'm so sorry that you've been hurt. Please, please don't go back on your word to me, Severus. Please protect Harry."
He squeezed her hand and stared back at her, "I would never break my oath to you, Lily."
She kissed him with such sweetness on the lips and then left him and went to the other figure in the darkened room.
Severus lay on his back staring at a moldy, fungus encrusted ceiling and felt, for the first time since childhood, tears running down his face. "I love you Lily," he said, to an empty room. "I will always love you."
He knew that he wanted to die, but had to live, because he would not break his promise to her. As long as Harry Potter lived; he would.
Oh yes, Snape was thinking as they pulled along the docks, I know what hell is all about. I live there everyday; I get my post there and my laundry is delivered there. If it weren't for you, Harry Potter, I could change my address. Then the man stepped up on the docks, looked over at a basket with a two-headed giant baby that appeared to have been bred with trolls. Then again, he was thinking with disgust, maybe that's my permanent address- dead, or alive. Ah, well Lily, I have a job to do and it best get done.
Snape climbed from the boat and headed up the dock, his feet pounding firmly on the wooden planks. Several very strange and pathetic creatures found themselves being toppled into the black water as the Potion's master stomped by.