Family Planning. Near the end of the Betrothal Phase, the near-matrimonial couple begin to address the issue of their own family, outside of the one they've known their whole life. They discuss boundaries, expectations and desires regarding those things they have control over, and those things they don't.
Bella's mouth hung open in shocked amazement as she leaned forward to get a better look. Her body was perched on the edge of Esme's bed and her fingers clutched at the bedspread expectantly. No sound was being emitted from her – not even the in and out rasps of her breathing.
"I can't look," she said frantically as she turned away. "It's going to be bad, I just know it!"
"No, you can't look away now! It's the best part!" Esme insisted.
Edward chose that moment to appear in his mother's bedroom doorway, only to find Bella cowering behind her hands, and Esme looking over at her with a mischievous grin on her face. His eyes followed Bella's across the room to see the source of her discomfort.
"Oh not the Food Network Challenge again," Edward rolled his eyes. "Is this the Dr. Seuss cake episode?"
"She's never seen it before," Esme stated defensively.
"That's because Bella doesn't watch television," Edward responded.
At that statement, Bella tore her eyes away from the screen and looked over at Edward. He knew that her father did not allow television in his home, but the Cullens watched television, and since she was a guest in their home…surely he wasn't upset that she had allowed Esme to introduce her to the interesting, awe-inspiring, entertaining and gut-wrenching experience known as the Food Network Challenge.
"I should start dinner," Bella said. She had only watched one episode – well one and a half. When she'd come in to check on Esme and saw the beautiful confectionary art on the screen, she couldn't stop staring, and Esme was all too eager to indulge her. But time had passed excessively fast. Edward was already home from work and Bella hadn't even considered what she'd be able to prepare for that evening's meal.
As Bella made her way down the stairs and toward the kitchen, she heard Edward's steady gait behind her, and she braced herself for what he would say once they were alone.
"I'm sorry," she said without turning to look at him.
"For?" his tone was wondering, and he didn't sound upset at all.
"The television," Bella answered. "I haven't been watching all day. It was just on in your mother's room, and I was watching and…"
"Bella, I should be apologizing to you. My mom is overboard with her love of that show. She ropes anyone she can into watching it. Just be lucky there wasn't a marathon on," Edward chuckled.
"I didn't mind it," Bella admitted. In fact, it was quite the opposite. She loved the television. And after watching a while with Esme, she didn't quite understand her father's aversion to it. There were some wonderfully educational programs that didn't at all seem illicit. Yet, her father did disapprove – something Bella knew Edward was aware of. Therefore, it was more than a little disconcerting that he had come home to find her being willfully disobedient.
"I didn't know what to do," Bella continued. "Your mother wanted me to see one of the cakes, and this is her house, and I'm supposed to be tending to her…but…"
Edward seemed nervous as he leaned up against the counter and faced her. His eyes were on the ingredients that Bella had removed from their respective areas around the kitchen, but she could tell that he was focused on her.
"This is proving to be very hard on you, isn't it…being here?" he asked.
"No! Of course not," Bella stated quickly. "It's just that I know you know how my father feels about television, and I didn't want you to think that I-"
"I know how your father feels about television in his house," Edward grinned. "And while he is certainly within his right to ban it in his home, I don't think it's really relevant anymore."
"What are you saying? You don't mind if I watch it?" Bella asked.
Edward shrugged. "Why should I? I watch television," he said. "I mean, not just anything, but there are a lot of shows that are fine."
Bella looked contemplative for a moment. There was an iota of freedom being dangled in front of her, but she was wary of taking advantage of it. "My father would probably be pretty upset about that."
"Which is why I wouldn't recommend discussing it with him," Edward held up his hands to stall an interruption by Bella. "I'm not suggesting that we be dishonest, but it goes without saying that we're probably going to do things a little differently than how your dad would do them. And even though that's to be expected, we don't need to go throwing it in his face. There's a lot of stuff I have no problem doing, but I wouldn't do in front of your father." When Bella looked puzzled, Edward leaned in and kissed her. And when she received him, he deepened the gesture, softly stroking her tongue with his. "Like that, for instance," he said. Then he slid his hands across her waist, down her hips and slowly over her backside. "And definitely not that."
Gooseflesh and heat covered Bella's cheeks at Edward's action. His point made, Edward dropped his hands after giving her a chaste kiss on the cheek and stepped back to silence the sizzle between them.
Bella cleared her throat and attempted to steady her breathing and heartbeat. "So…um, you're going to let your children watch television?" Bella asked as if her body wasn't burning with desire.
"You mean our children?" Edward smirked.
The prominent blush that coated her face now rushed to color the rest of her skin as it passed from the tips of Bella's ears, down toward her neck. Though it was an innocent response from Edward, thinking of them sharing children catapulted Bella's mind to the act of conceiving said children. And from the simmering glance that Edward was giving her, Bella could tell that he was thinking about the same exact thing.
As a distraction, Bella returned her attention to the task at hand – making dinner. She had the necessary ingredients for a side dish, but no main meal.
"I should have gone to the grocery store hours ago," Bella said softly, still a little concerned that Edward had been able to read her thoughts on her face as she had been able to read his.
She heard his car keys jingling behind her and she turned to see that he was holding them out for her to procure.
"You could take my car if you need to go now," he offered.
"Oh…no…thanks, but…" Bella shook her head quickly. Edward's car was extremely intimidating. All those buttons and levers… not to mention the expense of it. She'd never forgive herself if she scratched it, or worse. "I wouldn't feel comfortable driving your car."
"It's just a car, Bella," Edward said, though he didn't pressure her. "But I can drive you if you'd like."
"But you just got home," Bella reminded him. "Aren't you tired?" She thought of her father and how he never liked to go anywhere when he'd just gotten home from work. She didn't want Edward to feel obligated to chauffer her around if he was exhausted.
"No, I'm fine," Edward said. "Let's go."
Bella hastened to check on Esme and make sure she was comfortable before jetting off to the grocery store with Edward.
As Edward expertly glided over the road in his car, Bella silently reassured herself that she could never drive such a confusing machine. He didn't even use a key to start it!
Inconspicuously, she watched him operate the vehicle. His nimble fingers skimming over the leather steering wheel, his long legs gracefully folded into the driver's chamber, while his feet fluidly worked the gas and brake pedals. His repetitive motions were soothing, and Bella felt herself being lulled into a comfortable feeling of security. Her eyes lifted to view his face, and though he was watching the road, there was a hint of a smile on his lips that clued Bella in to the fact that he knew he was being watched.
A matching smile appeared on her face as she turned away and observed the small downtown area come into view.
"How many children do you want?" she asked suddenly without looking at him. It was a throwback to the conversation they'd been having in the kitchen when she'd inquired as to whether or not he'd allow his children to watch television.
"Three," Edward answered solidly, as if he'd just answered the same question minutes before.
"Three?" Bella turned to look at him.
"Yes," Edward looked concerned for a moment. "Why? Is that too many?"
An image of the O'Malley's, a young couple in Montana who'd given birth to a set of triplets one year after they'd gotten married, flashed through Bella's mind. The idea of three children in diapers nearly sent her into a panic attack.
"No…as long as they're well spaced out," she answered. Years of babysitting had taught her early on that one child in diapers was enough. "It's better than only having one," she added.
"You didn't like being an only child?" Edward asked.
"Not really," Bella admitted. "But not for the obvious reasons. I had more of an issue when I realized my kids wouldn't have any aunts, uncles or cousins from my side of the family…stuff like that."
Edward didn't respond to Bella's admission for a long while. She figured the conversation was settled, but as they pulled into a parking spot, Edward's failure to move after shutting off the car signaled that he had more to say.
"Bella, I hope it's not terribly insensitive of me to ask," the look on his face as he pivoted to look at her was fearful and uncomfortable.
She felt her insides tremble in anticipation of his question. What could be considered terribly insensitive?
"Do you know if you can get pregnant? I mean…like…is everything functioning normally in that way?" he asked awkwardly.
Bella thought of Alice and her inability to conceive children and immediately knew why Edward was asking. Nonetheless, she clarified this with him. "You're asking because of Alice, aren't you?"
Edward's face wrinkled in indignation. "No," he scoffed. "There's nothing wrong with Alice in that way."
"But she said-"
"She's covering for my brother. She's always covering for my brother," Edward said in disgust. "If he'd stop drinking so much then maybe he'd stop shooting blanks." Edward misunderstood the astonished expression on Bella's face. "Oh…sorry. I just meant that…drinking could adversely affect stuff like that."
"Your brother's…an alcoholic?" Bella whispered the last word.
Edward shrugged. "You're not going to get anyone in my family but me to admit it. My father just says he has 'temporary lapses in judgment' at times and my mother…well look at the job she has him doing for the vineyard. She's in total denial."
"But Alice wants a baby so badly. Surely she'd say something to Jasper if that was all that was keeping them from starting a family."
Edward shook his head. "Alice is in denial too. They all are." Edward moved to steer the conversation back onto its intended path. "So, anyway, that's not why I was asking. We've just…never talked about that kind of thing. And I don't have to tell you how rare it is for Cannabean couples to only have one child, so I was just wondering if maybe there was a health history or something…"
Bella nodded as Edward winded down his question. "No, I think that's a very valid question," she said to ease his mind. "My mom did almost die having me, which is why I don't have any brothers or sisters, but it wasn't from a hereditary condition."
"What was it?" Edward asked with concern.
"It's called an AVM. It's basically a collection of abnormal blood vessels. My mom has one on her brain. She didn't even know she had it until the stress of trying to give birth to me caused her to have a stroke. That's when the doctor's found it. Needless to say, I've been screened. I don't have it," Bella said.
"Thank goodness for that," Edward said, looking relieved. "I'd hate to be worried that something could happen to you during birth. From what I've seen, it's hard enough when everything goes right."
Bella smiled, but turned to hide her apprehension as she moved to get out of the car. The notion of being a mother was a happy one for her, but the idea of actually giving birth…not so much.
"How long do you think you'll want to wait…before starting a family?" Bella asked as she selected a cart from a row in front of the market.
"Whenever it happens, it happens," Edward shrugged. "You just never know."
Bella fleetingly glanced over at Edward. Obviously, he didn't believe in birth control – a point that Rosalie herself confirmed two days later when the two where, once again, enjoying an outdoor lunch on the bank of the lake on Edward's land.
"Can I see your ring again?" Rosalie asked, holding out her hand. Bella reached over to show her and Rosalie sighed as if it wasn't the fourth time she'd seen it. "So beautiful."
"Thanks," Bella stated bashfully. She too, loved the ring, but she had yet to get used to the reception it received whenever anyone saw it. If people hadn't thought of the Cullens, and Edward by association, as wealthy before, they certainly did when they saw the size of the diamond his soon-to-be-bride was sporting.
"I'm so glad it's not raining today," Rosalie said as she leaned back on her elbows and crossed her legs at the ankles. "If I had to be cooped up in the house with them one more second, I'd go crazy," she said, nodding toward her children, who were preoccupied with feeding the swans.
Bella looked over at the children and smiled. They had changed so much in the short time that she'd come to know them. Emily had gotten so tall and Abigail was losing her 'baby' look and transforming into a beautifully, articulate miniature version of her mother. Elijah…well…the loud, brash little boy was louder, brasher…and a bit rounder about the middle.
"Did you always know you wanted four?" Bella asked of Emmet and Rosalie's quickly expanding family.
Rosalie let out a soft chuckle. "I don't mind having children, I really don't. And I knew going into this that I'd most likely have a large family." When she saw Bella's questioning glance, she added, "The Cullens don't believe in birth control."
"Really?" Bella asked, even though Edward's comment had basically confirmed this. Still, he'd also stated that Rosalie and Emmett shouldn't have had so many children if they couldn't handle it. Surely that insinuated that he thought there was a way to handle it, right?
"Most Cannabeans don't," Rosalie continued on. "Your parents are probably more progressive or something."
Bella shook her head. "My mother had health issues, that's why I'm an only child. If it wasn't for that, I'm sure I'd have a ton of brothers and sisters. My dad is the strictest Cannabean I know."
"Perfect practice for the man you're marrying, then," Rosalie giggled. "Edward's pretty rigid when it comes to Cannabean law."
"And even he's got nothing on my dad," Bella said. "At least Edward watches television."
"Oh man, I'd die without television. I don't know how people who don't let their kids watch it get anything done."
"My mom just had me do whatever she was doing, or play wherever she was working," Bella said. "I have many fond memories of playing in the corner of the kitchen while she made dinner."
"She also only had one kid to look after," Rosalie stated. "Emma was so easy. It wasn't until I was pregnant with Abigail that I needed breaks for longer periods of time. And now with the fourth one…" Rosalie shook her head.
"You look much further along than five months," Bella observed.
"That's what happens when you're having your fourth," Rosalie stated. "Just think, this could be you by this time next year," she gestured toward her belly.
Something about her statement drove the point home for Bella and the wedding and everything that came with it seemed so close, even though she and Edward had yet to set a date.
Rosalie's laughter disturbed the run of Bella's thoughts. "You should see your face. You look so freaked out right now."
Bella sighed. "I'm not, really. It's just that, getting married is a huge adjustment. If I got pregnant immediately…"
"I know," Rosalie nodded sympathetically. "I have a friend who found this electronic machine that charts your cycle and then takes your temperature every morning to tell you when you're most fertile. She's been married three years and hasn't gotten pregnant yet. She swears by it. It's expensive though. I think she said she paid over five hundred dollars for it."
"Wow. That is expensive," Bella said, thinking it wouldn't work for more reasons than one. "But that's still birth control, right?"
"It's natural family planning. That doesn't really fit into the Cannabean law against using artificial means to prevent pregnancy."
"But what if your husband wants to…you know…and you're fertile? Do you just say no?" Bella asked.
Again Rosalie laughed. "That's what blow jobs are for." When Bella visibly balked, Rosalie shrugged. "I'm telling you, those are your best weapon against an unwanted pregnancy. He'll be totally satisfied and you'll be sperm free…well…unless you swallow, but even then…"
"Okay, Rosalie. You're making me feel sick."
"Fine, don't do it. But then I'm going to add a guarantee to you being pregnant this time next year." When Bella didn't share in Rosalie's amused expression, she added, "'Course, I told Alice the same thing after I had Emma, and she has yet to get pregnant."
"She thinks she's sterile," Bella said, careful not to repeat what Edward had shared with her. "I know fertility treatments are expensive, but maybe they should consider it. She wants a child so bad."
"Both she and Jasper refuse to get tested. She thinks it's romantic the way he says it doesn't matter which one of them can't have kids, but secretly, I think he knows it's him and his bad habits that are causing the issue," Rosalie said as she lowered her voice. "He knows he's not ready to be a father, so I don't think he's in any rush to remedy things either."
Bella didn't need Rosalie to elaborate on what she thought Jasper's bad habits were. She'd already witnessed it on two occasions.
"Well, I'd better get back. Esme will probably be waking from her nap soon," Bella said as she noticed the sun's position in the sky.
"Poor thing," Rosalie said of Esme. "That woman never sits still for more than five seconds. I know it's got to be driving her crazy to be bed-ridden." She shielded her eyes from the sun as she looked up at Bella. "I think it's great that you're able to help her out like this. I know she and Carlisle really appreciate it."
"It's my pleasure. I'm enjoying getting to know her better," Bella said as she slipped on her shoes.
Rosalie reached up and grabbed Bella's hand, stalling Bella's movement immediately. "I wanted to tell you that I also appreciate you having lunch out here with me and the kids."
"Again, it's my pleasure," Bella said. "It's nice to have company."
Rosalie shook her head. "You have no idea how much it means to me, Bella." Rosalie's eyes began to tear up. "How much it means to Emmett… He'd never say anything, but I can just tell by the light in his eyes when the kids or I tell him that we hung out with you or by the lake.
"Bella, I don't know what Edward's told you about his relationship with Emmett, but I promise you, Emmett misses Edward terribly."
"I'm sure Edward misses Emmett, too," Bella said quickly, uncomfortable by Rosalie's now apparent tears.
"It's different for Emmett, though. He's Edward's big brother – his protector. But when everything happened with Jasper and Edward…well…they're both his little brothers, you know? He had to work so hard to be neutral. And then, after trying for so long, Emmett realized that while everyone was putting forth so much effort to tip-toe around Edward and Jasper and not ignite such a volatile situation, Emmett and our family was getting lost in the process. Birthdays were missed or forgotten, our kids never got invited over to their grandparents' house…nobody ever asked about Emmett or how he was doing. And I think part of the way he responds to Edward and Jasper has more to do with that than what happened with Jasper and Edward in the first place."
"Rosalie… I'm sorry. I didn't-"
"I'm not telling you all this so that you can apologize for something that isn't even your fault. It's nobody's fault really. It's just what happens sometimes. Anyway, I'm just saying thank you. Since you came into Edward's life, it's the most we've all felt like a family in a long time."
Aside from Edward's declaration of betrothal, and the nice things he whispered to her over the phone before she went to sleep at night, Rosalie's words were the nicest sentiment anyone had ever shared with her. The exact words to express that, however, evaded Bella, and so she simply dropped to her knees and wrapped her arms around Rosalie.
The two near-sisters remained in the embrace until they heard a loud splash and then and even louder wail of frustration from the direction of the lake.
Elijah had attempted to grab one of the swans and had fallen in when the large fowl had suddenly changed its course.
"Oh no! Elijah!" Rosalie stood up as fast as she could.
"I've got him!"
Rosalie looked as stunned as Bella did when they saw Edward take off toward the lake and jump in. His heroics were unnecessary, however. Elijah was in shallow water.
"Uncle Edward, I almost had him!" Elijah exclaimed, completely unconcerned with the fact that his uncle was now dripping wet in the attempt to save him from harm.
"Don't try to touch the swans, Elijah. Not unless they come to you," Edward said – his voice a strained calm. Despite the young boy's ability to walk, Edward carried him over to where Rosalie and Bella were standing and set the boy down near his mother.
"Aw, Uncle Edward-"
"Elijah, don't argue with your uncle," Rosalie said quickly.
Bella quickly picked up the blanket she and Rosalie had been sitting on and handed it to Edward. He gratefully accepted it and wrapped it around his wet clothes.
"When did you get here?" Bella asked as Rosalie packed up the leftover lunch and rounded up her children in preparation of ushering them over to the minivan she'd haphazardly parked in the field near Edward's long-abandoned foundation.
"Just as he was falling into the lake," Edward pointed at Elijah. "I swear that boy could get into trouble in an empty room with rubber walls."
Bella laughed and checked her cell phone at the same time. "Did you call?" she asked, worried that she'd missed his attempt.
"No. I came home a little early and my mother told me where you were."
"Esme's awake?" Bella asked frantically. "I told her to call me as soon as she woke up!"
"Relax, Bella," Edward smiled. "She knows you have your phone. She's fine," Edward said.
Rosalie interrupted the interlude by having her children each come up to Bella and Edward and thank them for allowing them to have lunch by the swans. Bella hugged each of the children and Edward gave his nieces a humorous tweak of the nose, while he shook his nephew's hand and admonished him to stay out of trouble.
The girls were adorable as they continued to turn and wave until their van was completely out of sight. Bella giggled when she'd waved for the fifth time. She turned to see if Edward was waving and saw that his eyes were fixed, instead, on the foundation that was once going to be the location of his home. When he realized that Bella was watching him, he quickly smiled.
"Ready?" he asked.
Bella nodded.
"I'd offer you my arm, but I'm soaked."
Bella laughed at the memory of Edward diving into the shallow water.
They fell into an easy silence as they walked through the high grass toward the Cullen's neatly manicured orchard and hillside.
"Everything okay?" Edward asked after a few moments of quiet. "Or am I only imagining that Rosalie looked like she was crying?"
"I think those were just happy tears…or pregnancy hormones," Bella smiled. She knew that Edward was really asking what they were talking about, however. "She was just thankful for being able to come down to the lake with her kids. They tire her out when they're all stuck in the house on rainy days. She said she and Emmett really appreciate it."
"Mm." Edward made a sound like he wasn't paying attention.
"And she put the fear of God in me about being pregnant by this time next year," Bella added.
That certainly got Edward's attention. He looked argumentative for a moment, but then, it was clear the wheels started turning for him as well. "Yeah…that's kind of…daunting."
"Are you opposed to natural family planning?" Bella asked outright.
"You mean like birth control?" Edward looked at her dourly.
"Naturally, not artificially," she said, quoting Rosalie's words. "You can do that by charting body temperature to know when you're fertile and when you're not. It's not an exact science, but a lot of women have been pretty successful with it."
"It sounds like a lot of work."
"A lot less work than having a set of twins or triplets your first year of marriage," Bella said, once again thinking of the O'Malley's.
Bella almost laughed at the appalled look on Edward's face at the notion of a multiple birth so early on in their life together.
"Does…that…run in your family?" Edward stammered.
Bella shrugged. "It's possible that my grandmother and mother quit having children too soon for me to find out. What about your family?"
"Not that I know of," Edward said, still blanched from the idea.
"Rosalie told me about a machine that does most of the work for you," Bella sneaked a glance at Edward. "It's expensive though."
"How expensive?"
"Five hundred dollars."
"Yeah. That is expensive."
And he didn't say another word about it.
'*'
Guilty that she'd been out of the house when Esme awoke from her drug-induced nap, Bella worked overtime at tending to her needs before relegating herself to the kitchen to make a meal she'd seen on one of Esme's cooking shows: lemon chicken, rosemary and garlic potatoes and homemade bread.
"This smells wonderful, Bella," Esme said when Bella placed a small tray of food on the bedside table. "It almost makes staring at these four walls bearable."
From her tone, Bella knew that Esme was going to try and coax her into helping her down the stairs to eat with the rest of the family – something Carlisle had forbidden until he said otherwise.
"I'm sure Carlisle will clear you to get off bed rest any day now," Bella said.
Esme guffawed. "You do know my husband, right? He'll try to keep me here the full six weeks, even if my doctor says otherwise."
"Speaking of doctors, when is your next appointment?" Bella asked.
Esme pointed at her. "You're good at avoiding things you don't want to discuss, I'll give you that," though she decided to let Bella off the hook by answering her. "And my next appointment is next Tuesday. I can't wait for Carlisle to find out that I'm healing faster than normal, thanks to my doting help and exquisite nourishment." Esme winked at Bella. "You're spoiling my son with all these wonderful meals."
"Good," Bella smiled.
"It is good," Esme agreed. "He's had to wait too long for you."
Esme's comment made Bella feel light, happy and able. That feeling accompanied her down the stairs as she floated back to the kitchen to make a special plate of food for her beloved.
After setting the table with a few wildflowers she'd snipped from the back garden, Bella went upstairs to retrieve Edward. She was sure he was finished showering and changed into dry clothes by then. Even still, she hesitated before knocking at his bedroom door, not wanting to catch him in a compromising position.
When he didn't answer after a few seconds, Bella knocked again.
Still, no answer.
After cautiously opening his door a tiny sliver, Bella opened it enough to stick her head in. She was overwhelmed by the clean, soapy fragrance of Edward; evidence that he'd already had his shower.
"Edward?" she called softly. "Edward, dinner's ready, if you're hungry," she said.
But there was no response. He was not in his room.
Upstairs and down, Bella went from room to room in search of him. The longer it took to find him, the more curious she became of his whereabouts. After a few moments, she thought that maybe he was playing an impromptu game of hide and seek with her. She checked for him out on the back deck, on the front porch, in the parlor, in the dining room, the downstairs guest bathroom…
…but Edward wasn't in any of those places.
Reluctantly accepting her defeat, Bella decided to retreat back to the kitchen to put Edward's plate in the oven to remain warm.
Suddenly, the sound of turning pages resonated from somewhere at the end of the dark hallway. Bella attempted to follow the noise, but it was too infrequent.
"Edward?" Bella asked, but her voice was so coated with uncertainty that she could hardly be heard.
As she rounded the corner, she saw a shard of light from a slightly ajar door. Peering through, she saw his outline. His back facing her, Edward was leaning over a table engrossed in something on a large sheet of paper.
With the flourish of his arm, he turned over the large top sheet and turned his attention to the one lying underneath.
So as not to startle him, Bella carefully crept into the room and stood slightly behind him, but close enough to see what he was looking at.
It was a schematic of some sort. Tiny lettering littered a page filled with bulbous clouds and boundary lines.
Edward turned the page again and the graphic of a house was clearly laid out before him.
Bella stepped closer to get a better look. She was sure Edward had become aware of her presence, but he didn't comment on it, nor did he stop looking through the blueprints.
"It's beautiful, Edward," Bella said as her eyes roamed over the page. "Is that…a cobblestone fireplace?"
Edward nodded. "I always wanted one of those," he said softly.
Bella only nodded. "They're very cozy. Especially on a cold, rainy day." With the tip of her fingernail, she traced the outline. "Is this French Country?"
Edward looked over at her and smiled. "It is."
"I can see why Alice loved this," she said in a low voice as she tossed a sideways glance in Edward's direction.
Edward let out a sound that resided an equidistance between a snort and a chortle. "Alice hated this house. This was the first house I was going to have built. The one the foundation was laid for. She wanted this gaudy three-story Victorian…dollhouse," Edward said with a sneer. "She wanted a rotunda here and spiraling staircases…"
Bella laughed. "That sounds…interesting."
"That's putting it nicely," Edward said, wrapping his arm around Bella and drawing her closer to his side. Together their eyes continued to slide over the plans.
"You've kept these a long time," Bella said. She wondered if it was clear to Edward as to exactly why that was. It certainly was clear to her.
"Of course," Edward said. "I paid a lot of money for them," he said.
Oh. Is that all?
"And I like them," he added quietly. He turned another page to reveal a close-up rendering of the front of the house. Bella hummed in appreciation.
"I can just see this all decorated for Christmas," she said as she rested her head against Edward's chest. "A fresh spruce wreath hanging on the red front door."
"A red door, huh?"
"I love red doors," Bella said.
"Duly noted," Edward winked before returning his attention back to the blueprints. "What else do you love?" his eyes washing over drawings of an over-the-garage loft with admiration.
"You," Bella whispered. She knew it wasn't the retort he was attempting to wheedle out of her. He was asking about the house – something that he'd obviously placed a lot of time and thought into, and therefore a bit of his identity. And though the house was nicer than anything Bella could have ever dreamed of, it was just a bunch of valueless lines and circles without Edward.
"This is what you want, isn't it?" Edward pointed at the blueprints. "It's what you've wanted all along."
"Is that a question for me…or you?" Bella raised an eyebrow at him.
Edward sighed. "I just…don't want to make any more mistakes with this."
"Who says you made a mistake in the first place?" Bella rubbed his arm lovingly. "It's just a house, Edward. And I told you, I'll follow you anywhere."
In response to her words, Edward pulled Bella flush against his body and rested his forehead against hers.
"Thank you," he murmured against her brow as he lightly placed a kiss there. "You always seem to know exactly what to say."
Bella's heart soared as she tightened her grip around Edward's waist. Never, did she ever feel like her words were exactly right, but here Edward was, telling her that not only were they right, they were perfect.
"I'll check into this," Edward nodded toward the plans, "but it might not be possible right now. I don't want you to get your hopes up."
"Got it," Bella assured him. "I will keep my hopes no higher than right about here," she pledged as she gestured to her waist.
It was a promise that Bella did her very best to keep. The next day, when she overheard Edward's portion of a telephone call where he was telling someone that the foundation of the home had already been poured, Bella wouldn't allow her mind to dwell upon it. Two days later, when Edward left the house with a rolled up set of plans, Bella felt the fluttering of excitement in her belly, but she didn't entertain it. Though, admittedly, at the end of the next week, when Edward had a "business" meeting with two men who had driven up in a truck that read 'Custom Home Builder' on the side, she did revel in the dream for just a little bit.
"What's going on down there?" Esme asked when Bella went up to the master suite to deliver fresh linens.
Esme had recently received the dreaded news that her doctor agreed with her husband: she was not healing as fast as she'd thought. In fact, she'd developed an infection at the site of her incision and had been laid up with a fever and a sore abdomen for the past couple days.
"Oh, Edward has a business meeting," Bella stated vaguely. If Esme even caught wind of what her son was up to, her hopes would be high enough for both Edward and Bella put together, and Bella was sure Edward didn't want to see Esme's disappointment anymore than hers if it all didn't work out.
"That's odd," Esme croaked, and then pawed at her neck to indicate that she was parched. "He's never had meetings here before."
"He's been working late every night this week. Maybe he just wanted to be close to home tonight," Bella stated nonchalantly. "Let me get you some tea with lemon for that throat."
Bella exited the room before Esme could attempt to get any more information out of her. She quickly made a small cup of tea and deposited it with Esme. Again she made a quick getaway under the guise of making sure that Edward and his guests had everything they needed. However, when she went downstairs to check on them, she found only Edward – his "meeting" already concluded.
"Everything okay?" Bella asked Edward when he fixed her with a strange gaze. She looked down at the table, and the blueprints were once again there, only this time they were marked up with red marks and sticky notes. "You made changes?"
"That's just a mock-up for an extra bedroom…for an office…or a classroom if that time came," Edward hinted. "It wouldn't add that much extra time to the project."
"Does it…take a lot of time?" Bella asked hesitantly.
"Four months." Edward sounded awe-struck. "I got three bids and they all came in with an ETA of about four months."
"Four months?" Bella asked in disbelief.
"We can build our house, Bella. And it can be done in four months," Edward said, his excitement finally showing.
"Oh, Edward!" Bella flung herself into his arms. "That's so exciting!"
"You know what this means don't you?" Edward's voice was muffled by Bella's hair as she hugged him.
"Now we can set a date for the wedding?"
Edward laughed. "Well that, too…but I was thinking more along the lines of us being in the house by Christmas, and how you could hang that wreath on your red door."
'*'
It was a quiet night in the Cullen home. Carlisle was filling in for another doctor at the hospital, and Esme had fallen asleep to a Barefoot Contessa marathon on television. Bella and Edward were taking advantage of their own private celebration before breaking the news to their parents about their plans to build their dream home and their November wedding date.
"Won't it be snowing in November?" Bella leaned into Edward as they sat cuddling on the couch, his hands playing with her hair.
"No. It'll probably be raining, though. It's the wettest month of the year."
"Then should we wait? Because I don't think we can pull off the wedding in less than six months."
"You want to wait?"
"Well, no, but-"
"I know I don't want to wait," Edward emphasized. "We can have the wedding in November. It'll be fine."
"But the rain..."
"My mom is already dying to use those big circus canopies that she calls tents. Now we'll have a reason to."
Bella was satisfied with that answer, and for the moment, wanted nothing to do with all the other details that had suddenly become so pressing. Among them, her wedding dress. Now that Edward had stepped up and decided to build on his land, it was her turn to uphold her part of the bargain by telling her mother that she had a different vision for her wedding dress.
But she didn't want to think about that right then. Just for a moment, she wanted to rest securely in the arms of her betrothed and just be.
"Your hair is so soft," Edward expressed all of a sudden, breaking the trance.
Bella reached up and ran her fingers through his tresses as well. "So is yours," she smiled.
He slid his fingers across her cheek and along her jaw. "So soft," he whispered.
She mimicked him, touching his face and chiseled jaw.
His hand moved to her neck to angle her mouth toward his. And when their lips met, any words he used to describe their attributes were silenced by his kiss.
Their celebratory kisses were long, slow and deep. As Bella continued to match his movements, it no longer felt like he was trying to show her something. He was simply a man, expressing his love and devotion and she was a woman, receiving it and reflecting it back.
"I love you, so much." Edward caressed her ear with the words as he kissed from her mouth, to her jaw and down to her neck.
And she felt the same, but he didn't want her to tell him – he wanted her to show him, with her trust. So when Edward suavely pulled at the coverlet that hung across the back of the couch and draped it over her, she didn't question him. When his hands moved from her shoulders, to her waist, and then underneath the hem of her blouse, she put up no fight. And when passionate fingers pushed the fabric up, over and away from her breasts, she allowed herself to sit exposed to the open room.
Instead, Bella fought to quiet the numerous warning bells going off inside her mind. Esme was upstairs. But she couldn't come down. Carlisle could come home from work at any minute. But they'd hear him far before he saw them. Finally, because she trusted him, Bella allowed herself to fully give in to what Edward was doing and accept that he wasn't doing anything wrong.
Judging by the way her body was responding to him, he was doing everything right.
When Bella felt the weight of the blanket shift across her lap, she knew what was coming next, and despite her resolve to give in, she instinctively recoiled when Edward's fingertips grazed her bare knee.
"It's okay." Edward's voice was soft and soothing. "I'm won't hurt you. I promise."
"I know," Bella said, barely audibly.
And the truth was, she did know this. But it wasn't pain that she was afraid of. It was the vulnerability; the being stripped of those last few unknowns that she feared. The revelation of how her body responded to him beneath her clothes; the disclosure of her repressed primal being, the exposition of a woman who passionately hungered for the man before her in a sexual way – that was what held her back.
Edward didn't know that, he couldn't have. Yet, when he continued to whisper, over and over, that it was going to be alright, that she was beautiful, that he loved her and cared for her, Bella was nearly convinced that he knew exactly what she was thinking. Every time he spoke, every time he moved, he worked to chip away at the armor of fear that she'd became so accustomed to hiding behind.
She flinched when his fingers came into contact with her damp underwear, embarrassed at her inability to control the reaction. Yet Edward responded with a sigh of favor.
"You feel so good," he crooned as his fingers dipped beneath the thin layer of cotton. "Oh…Bella…"
And suddenly his mouth was pressed against hers fiercely and possessively. His breath came out in short and frantic pants as he briefly removed his hand from underneath Bella's skirt, only to find hers and place it in his lap. "Touch me." His request was urgent and desperate, and to Bella's ears, he was voicing exactly how she felt.
Quickly she pried away his belt buckle and pulled at the zipper and button clasp. When she pulled his erection out of his underwear and attempted to wrap her hand around it, Edward moaned his gratitude into Bella's mouth.
"Feels so good," he whimpered.
It took all that Bella had to concentrate on what she was doing to him, because in the next moment, Edward coaxed her legs apart and without warning, thrust his finger deep inside her.
Physically, it was the furthest they'd ever gone with one another, and Bella steeled herself to accept the sensation. It lay just on the brink of discomfort, yet she didn't want him to stop. And when Edward's thumb slid up and down against the nub of flesh known only to him in that way, Bella nearly convulsed with pleasure. She suppressed the urge to plead with him to do it again, waiting instead to accept the journey he was taking her on at his pace.
All of a sudden, Edward reared back and tugged at his pants. "No, no, no," he muttered. Bella was waiting for him to tell her what she'd done wrong, when his fingers emerged from underneath the blanket, still glistening with her desire, and disappeared into his pocket. He pulled out his cell phone, silenced it effectively, and then tossed it onto the table before leaning back in to resume the ministrations he was performing both over and under the blanket.
"Please don't stop," he begged when Bella had lost momentum.
But it wasn't the interruption that had caused her concentration to falter. It was the feeling of pins and needles that was bubbling forth from her belly and threatening to radiate through her fingers and toes. It was just reaching a peak when he'd stopped, and the feeling had receded almost immediately, leaving Bella feeling gutted and edgy.
When she didn't respond quickly enough to his beseeching pleas, Edward laid his hand over hers and guided her movement. "Yeah…that feels good…" he grunted.
Unexpectedly, the pins and needles returned, and with them they brought flutters and tingles.
"Edward," Bella gasped as she spastically clutched at his bicep with her free hand.
No longer able to focus, she removed the hand she'd been using to fondle him, and grasped at Edward's fingers. The overwhelming sensation that he was causing seemed to string her along a climbing plateau for longer than she was sure she could hold on.
And then she was falling.
And then the phone was ringing. Again.
Seconds later, the house phone came to life, and the synchronization of sounds was such an oddity that it distracted Edward long enough for him to check to see who was calling.
"It's my father," Edward announced, and after a brief hesitation, he answered it.
Bella quickly sat up and began straightening her clothes, as if Carlisle would be able to see the state of their clothing through the mobile device. Edward started doing the same thing, and Bella wondered if he harbored any shame or regret at what they'd just done. Not wanting that to be the case, she slowly turned to gauge his expression and was shocked at what she saw.
No longer on the phone, Edward was as white as a sheet as he fixed his clothing and reached for the contents of his pockets in preparation of leaving the house.
"What is it? What's wrong," Bella asked as she reached for his hand.
"Jasper," Edward managed to get out. "He's been in a bad accident."
With a promise to call as soon as he arrived at the hospital – and a request not to say anything to Esme until the complete story was known, Edward left the house. In his absence, Bella couldn't help but wonder if Carlisle had called Emmett as well, if Alice was okay and if Jasper's "bad habit" had had a hand in the tragic event.
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