Author's Note: Happy birthday Shinji! We love you! And I hope you guys love this chapter! ^_^

Chapter 25: Take Me Away

Recommended Song: "Ocean Avenue" by Yellowcard

It took all of Shinji's energy not to turn back around and take his Mari into his arms, to apologize a thousand times and beg for her forgiveness…he wanted to go back, god he did, but he couldn't.

He couldn't turn back.

Once in the Senkaimon, it was as if everything was suddenly sucked out of him. With a strangled sob, Shinji fell onto his hands and knees, clenching his teeth, angry with himself, frustrated with the world. Hot tears spilled over his eyes and down his cheeks, mourning the loss of his beloved…the one he'd never see again.

"Hell no," Kensei growled. He grabbed Shinji by the collar and hurled him up, practically dragging him through the Senkaimon. "We're not gonna fuckin' do this, Shinji," he told the broken man.

"Kensei!" Rose scolded. "Be gentle…can't you see how much pain he's in?"

Kensei whirled around, furious. Why should he have sympathy? "We're all losin' someone!" he barked. "His pain isn't any different from ours." They were all suffering, so they all had to appear strong. Not only that, but it pained Kensei to see his comrade, whom he admired and respected so much, in such a pathetic state.

"I-I'm fine," Shinji said with a shaky sigh, hastily wiping his eyes. "Sorry," he mumbled, getting up. Kensei removed his hands and watched his friend with wary eyes travel down the long, dark tunnel.

"Let's go."

They once again arrived in Soul Society, though this time the spectators watched them with awe and wonderment, relishing being the first to see the new Captains. Many stopped and tried to ask questions, though Kensei frightened them all away with a single glare. None of them felt like dealing with all the chipper Shinigami around them…not in the mood they were in.

Yamamoto greeted them yet again in the Captain's hall, though this time, he presented them with their haoris and Shinigami garb. Feeling the weight in his hands, Shinji realized that his whole life was changing. It would never be the same again. He'd have to wear this same uniform everyday, unable to mix it up with his various-colored ties or collared shirts. He couldn't be carefree as before…the weight of Soul Society rested on his shoulders.

…Why did he make this decision again? An image of Marise flashed in his mind, her dimpled smile, vibrant blue eyes, soft laugh…oh, right. Her happiness. He'd do anything to protect her. He was doing the right thing, wasn't he?

So why was it his heart hurt so much?

Shinji took the attire back to his room, and looked around.

Nostalgia. This was his office, over one hundred years ago. He looked around, taking it all in. Everything was neat and organized; of course Aizen Sōsuke would keep it like this after Shinji had left. But now it was Shinji's again. He shifted from one foot to another, uncomfortable. He wasn't quite used to this position yet. What was he supposed to do?

He had never felt so lost, so confused.

Shrugging, he figured the first step toward this new life would be to change into his Shinigami garb. After that was accomplished, he looked at himself in the large mirror by the dresser. "Wow," he breathed aloud, scrutinizing himself. He looked so…serious, so important. He wrinkled his nose in distaste in feeling Sakanade's satisfaction inside; obviously she had gotten her position back as well.

As he sat on the small chair in front of the dresser, his hand went up to his hair. After Aizen's defeat, he had allowed it to grow out, to where it now came almost to his shoulders. Was a change in order?

He wanted to forget about his old life…even now, he could feel Mari's fingers running through his hair, watching her curiously pout as she commented on it.

"Shinji, if you grow your hair out anymore, it'll be longer than mine! You'll look like a girl, and you already look like such a Yankī."

He buried his face in his hands, goddamn it, why couldn't these memories just disappear? He opened the drawers, searching anxiously, and pulled a pair of scissors out of one of them. Looking into the mirror, he began to snip away at his hair, bringing it back to the length it was before, down to his chin. He lifted up his bangs, feeling those also needed to go. He began to trim his bangs, starting from the right, and as he was about to finish, Hinamori Momo burst into the room.

"Shit!" he hissed, dropping the scissors. Her interruption had surprised him, and caused the scissors to fall out of his hands, cutting a few of his left fingers. He muttered a few more curses under his breath, grabbing a thin cloth and wrapping it around his fingers to sustain the bleeding.

"Oh, I'm so sorry!" Momo gasped, her hands flying to her mouth. "I-I didn't think you had settled in yet, I thought you might have still been in the Captains' hall…" She saw his messed-up bangs, and her face fell. "Please, let me fix that…!"

Shinji waved her away. "Nah, it's fine." He wouldn't bother with it. What did it matter how he looked? He looked at himself, and could care less about his uneven bangs. Just one more backwards part of him that he could add to his collection. Shinji looked up at his new fukutaichō, and forced a smile. "Ya must be…"

"H-Hinamori Momo!" she exclaimed, standing at attention. She trembled nervously as her new taichō stood up and walked around her, scrutinizing her.

"I was about to say my first love," he chuckled, to which she looked horrified.

He could easily tell that she was very frightened and on-edge, and had an assumption as to why. After going through such a traumatic experience with her previous Captain, it was only natural for her to be wary and skeptical of him, especially when he had the reputation of being a 'traitor' to Soul Society, though in a different sense from Aizen.

He placed a hand on her shoulder, his eyes widening in surprise when she jumped.

"I-I'm sorry…" she apologized, pushing her short hair back.

"It's alright, Momo-chan," Shinji said. "Ya don't need ta apologize. And ya don't need ta be afraid of me either. Ya can trust me."

She looked at him with wide brown eyes, completely in disbelief.

"It'll take time," he said softly. "But we'll make it work."

Momo nodded, a little less wary. "Hirako-taichō," she began, feeling that it was strange to call him that, "…are you sad?"

Shinji blinked a few times in surprise.

"S-sorry!" she then quickly said, regretting blurting out her thoughts. "I shouldn't have asked such a personal question…it's just that you looked like…"

"It's fine," Shinji interjected. "I'm fine. Really. I'm a Captain again, what could be wrong?"

Everything. Everything could, and was, wrong.

Marise remained where she was on the ground, rain continuing to pour over her. She wanted to remain there forever, after all, what was the point of moving? Where would she go, who could she turn to?

Her heart felt heavy, her throat clogged, tears still building behind her eyes, though none would fall. She was too tired to cry, too tired to do anything. She just wanted to lie facedown on the ground until there was a reason to get up again, until the sun came out.

However, she couldn't ignore the feeling of Kurosaki Ichigo's fluctuating spiritual pressure. There it was again. Going up and down, up and down, completely sporadic and unpredictable. What was wrong with him? What was going on? There was so much energy concentrated in one area.

If Mari had been the old Mari, the one that wanted to ignore everything happening around her, she would have just gotten up and walked in the direction opposite to the action. However, after meeting Shinji, after accepting reality, she knew that she had to go there. For whatever reason, it was calling her.

Fighting her aching muscles and heart, Marise picked herself up from the ground, her body trembling. She almost fell onto the ground again, though caught herself, taking in a heavy, shaky breath. Loose strands from her braid came undone, and she pushed back her damp curls, tucking some strands behind her ears. Her dress was soaking wet, clinging to her body, though she paid it no mind. What did it matter? Her outer appearance might as well match what she felt on the inside. Ugly. Dejected. Awful.

She began to head in the direction of the rising spiritual pressure. As she neared where it was, she began to recognize others' spiritual pressures: Riruka, Jackie, Tsukishima, Ginjō… Though her legs begged her not to, Mari took off into a sprint. The rain began to slow down, until it eventually stopped altogether.

She reached the forest, and let out a gasp in seeing Tsukishima being carried on a boy's back. He looked no older than her, and was the epitome of Mari's definition of a Yankī.

"Ts-Tsukishima!" she cried, running toward him.

Shishigawara Moe looked up, ready to protect his mentor. However, when he saw the "pretty girl," he couldn't bring himself to fight her. He was glad he didn't have to, because Tsukishima lifted his head, squinting at the girl.

"Marise-san…" he breathed, his voice ragged and forced.

Mari saw the blood soaking his clothes, and the many cuts he had. Even though he had lied to her, deceived her, hurt her…seeing him dying…believing him to be her friend…how could she bring herself to hate him?

"Tsukishima…" she whispered. Hesitantly, she took his frail, bony hand, which barely gave hers a squeeze. "I guess…" she began, with a watery smile, "I guess we won't be competing together, hmm? You're…an awful friend."

Tsukishima looked at her in surprise, though then smiled. "I suppose not. I'm sorry, Marise. You are lucky to have Hirako Shinji as I am to have Shishigawara-kun."

Mari's smile faded as Shishigawara's face glowed. Her heart constricted, and she couldn't tell him that Shinji had left her, that she was not lucky at all, because she didn't have anybody.

She watched as Tsukishima's breathing became slower and shallower, and from the pleading look in Shishigawara's eyes, she left them, continuing on her trek.

Another one lost. Gone.

Her eyes widened in surprise in feeling all of the spiritual pressures wane down, when they had been heavily weighing down on her earlier.

It's…over?

She saw Yukio and Jackie talking, and grew surprised in seeing how beaten they looked…yet they also looked…happy. Relieved? Of what?

When Jackie saw Marise, she immediately sighed in relief. "Good," she said. "Riruka had gotten to you in time."

"That's what that was about?" Marise asked. "What…happened?"

Jackie briefly explained the battle waged between the Fullbringers and Shinigami. Marise had no idea that Ginjō had transferred Ichigo's powers to the Fullbringers (excluding her), and was even more surprised to find out that he was now dead.

"He's gone…" she whispered, letting the words sink in. "He…never really liked me anyway." She said this to assure herself that his death was okay, that it didn't matter. But it did. Who taught her to control her Fullbring?

"Giriko has also passed," said Yukio.

Mari looked at him, horrified. "Wh-what?" she whimpered. "What…will happen to the parrot?" she cried, trying to control herself. Why…? What was going on?

Jackie watched Mari with soft eyes. This girl…she was too young, too innocent to fully accept the tragedy around her. She hadn't the experience they had, hadn't suffered like they did. "Our Fullbrings," she said softly. "Are gone." Jackie looked down at her boots, which were slightly dirty from the fight. But it didn't matter. She would never be able to use Dirty Boots again. "It's funny," she murmured. "I…think I will miss it. You never realize what you have until it's gone." She then lifted her head, smiling at Marise. "Thank you…for the shoeshine. Now my boots can be clean of my past."

Hearing this, Marise couldn't control it anymore, and the tears fell over her eyes, flooding her cheeks. She began to sob, "Please…please don't tell me you guys are leaving too!"

"I'm sorry, Mari," Jackie said, taking the petite girl into her arms. She stroked her damp hair, hugging her tighter. "We have to," she whispered.

She let go of the blonde girl, who turned to Yukio, surprising him by tackling him into a hug. "Yuki-chan," she sobbed.

Yukio blushed slightly, awkwardly placing his hand on Mari's back.

"Where…where is Riruka?" Mari asked, when she pulled away. She wiped her eyes, tired of her stupid tears. She hated them, hated not being able to control her emotions. How could Yukio and Jackie act so calm and collected? Hadn't they been even closer to Giriko and Ginjō than she had? Why was she the only one who broke down crying…was she really so pathetic?

Jackie shook her head. "Who knows…that girl always did what she wanted." She pulled a wrinkled piece of paper from her pocket, holding it out to Mari. "She wanted you to have this though."

Mari looked at Jackie with wide eyes and gingerly held the paper between her fingers, as though it were a fragile glass that could break any moment.

"Hey blondie…I'm glad I didn't see you. That means you're safe. Don't eat any more ice cream, otherwise, you'll become as big as a whale. (Though I can eat as many doughnuts as I want, and I will, with my mini-doughnut maker.) I hope you remain with your hottie forever. Maybe one day, I'll find mine.

- Dokugamine Riruka"

Heavy teardrops plopped onto the paper, smudging the ink from the pen Riruka had written in. Mari's fingers curled around the letter as she tried to control herself. Shinji was gone. Ginjō and Giriko were dead. Tsukishima would die. Yukio and Jackie were leaving. She didn't know where Riruka was, and would probably never see her again. The constant reminders from others of how she lost Shinji…what more could go wrong? How many more tears could she shed?

Jackie placed her hand on Mari's head, giving it a slight squeeze for comfort. "Take care of yourself, alright? You'll become stronger."

Mari bit her lip, shaking her head. She didn't believe that at all. She was weak, pathetic, a sorry excuse for a Fullbringer. Everything made her cry. Everything looked bleak and dismal to her.

She said her final goodbyes to her comrades and headed home.

Home…was that really where the heart was? Because it felt like hers had been ripped away from her, it was stolen…Shinji had taken it with him.

Marise opened the door to her home, and walked into the kitchen with the intent of drowning her sorrows in ice cream. Unfortunately, her mother was inside preparing dinner, and nearly dropped her bowl in surprise when she looked up to find her daughter in tears.

"Mari, baby," she gasped. "What happened? What's wrong?"

With a watery smile, she answered, "Shinji…he's…just like all the other boys, Mama. He left me."

Lucille stood frozen, at a loss for words. Mari just went past her mother and upstairs to her room. The door wasn't slammed, there was no outburst or screaming like Lucille would normally expect when a guy would leave her.

But then again, Lucille knew that Mari never truly felt anything for any of them. Shinji, on the other hand…she loved him.

Furious, Lucille stormed outside, where she found her husband changing the tire of the car. "Do all Shinigami," she said through clenched teeth, "Enjoy breaking people's hearts? Hmm? Is there some sort of thrill you get when you break someone's spirit?"

Soichiro looked up at her, confused. "Lucille, what are you talking about?"

"He left her Sou," she seethed, shaking. "Why? Did you have anything to do with it?"

Soichiro shook his head, still not understanding, though it slowly dawned on him who she was talking about. Though he had a slight idea as to why Shinji went back to Soul Society, he kept quiet. It was probably for the best.

He wasn't sure if he could ever change his wife's mind about Shinigami…if he could ever be forgiven.

Mari stood in her room, in a daze. For a moment she wondered where she was, who she was, what she was supposed to be doing. "Oh," she said aloud, her voice void of all emotion. She went to her dresser and began opening the drawers, taking out all of the things that reminded her of Shinji.

She smiled bitterly at the lacy lingerie he had gotten her for White Day, the ugly Christmas sweater that she used to like, but now hated because of the memories it held. She took out everything, and grabbed a box from her closet, stuffing the items in there. As she placed them in, her emotions flooded through her…anger, hurt, confusion, to the point where she began hurling the things into the box.

As she went to her bookshelf, her hand knocked into the glass unicorn he had gotten her so long ago. As though time was barely moving, she watched as the glass teetered along the shelf, until it fell over the edge. Down she watched it go, and only until the end did she let out a strangled cry, and tried to grab for it. Though it was too late. The shattering sound it made when it hit the floor rang in her ears so loudly; she let out a choked sob. She fell to her knees, trying to pick up the pieces, though some were so tiny, it could never be repaired. She pricked her finger on one of the shards, and watched the blood race down her finger.

Look at what you did! She screamed at herself. You…you…! Awful, evil, horrible! No wonder he doesn't love you! You are the worst person ever! She had destroyed one of her most prized possessions.

In those moments, Marise had never hated herself more. She hated her Fullbring, hated her life, hated the world, everyone around her. In a fit of fury, she got up and grabbed her gun, taking it outside into the backyard. Once there, she got on her hands and knees and began to scrap the mud from the ground with her bare hands.

"Mari…Mari, what are you doing?"

She looked up to see her father standing over her, worry clear across his face. She didn't even bother to try and hide the gun; it didn't matter anymore. "I'm burying my past," she said quietly, continuing to dig.

Soichiro, with a soft sigh, kneeled down next to her, taking her wrists. She tried to pull away to continue digging, though he tugged at her harder. "Mari, stop," he said harshly.

She had never heard him scold her before. Her father wasn't one to get angry. He usually brushed everything off. She looked at him, emotions coming back to her.

"Why…" she began, tears stinging at her eyes, "Did you even give it to me in the first place?"

"Because I was stupid," he admitted. "And I regret it Mari, trust me when I say that. I tried to do exactly what you're trying to do right now. We all want to get rid of some part of our past. But doing that will never allow us to move forward."

Her jaw slowly dropped when he began to explain the origins of this accursed gun, how it came to be.

Her father…a Shinigami. A Captain! He had known Shinji…!

As he spoke of falling in love with Lucille and leaving Soul Society for her, Mari's hope slowly began to rise. Although their relationship had been difficult, her father and mother ended up together…so perhaps the same would happen with her and Shinji!

Soichiro picked up the revolver, and handed it back to Mari. "Don't bury this," he told her. "These memories, all that you've experienced with this, will help make you stronger. It will help you move forward, because it will force you to look at the past. Do you understand, Mari?"

She nodded, wiping her tears away. "I…I think I understand, Papa."

He cupped her cheek in his hand, leaning in to kiss her forehead. "That's my girl."

She watched her father go back inside the house, though she remained outside. Mari looked down at the gun in her hands, and her fingers tightened around it. She could already feel the strength from it emanating through her fingers, along her arms, warming her entire body.

I'll become stronger. I promise.

The next day, when Marise got back to school, everyone stared at her, as though she were a new student all over again, except she had grown a second head or something. Everyone knew the news of her and Shinji "breaking up," as rumor spread around fast in a small town like Karakura.

Mari looked down at her bag, completely mortified. Everyone…they were judging her, weren't they? They were probably thinking that it was about time he left her, that she was just a bimbo blonde who only had a nice body and no brains, or maybe they thought she was a floozy or didn't meet their standards of how foreigners were good in bed…

As she went to her seat, no one tried to come and talk to her, they only stared. It was as if she were an outcast, rejected from normal society.

One person talked to her, however. Orihime strayed from her group of friends and came over to Mari. Everyone around her was interested in what she was going to stay, but still kept their distance.

"Mari-chan!" she greeted cheerfully.

Marise looked up at Orihime, doubt in her eyes. "Inoue," she mumbled softly.

"You know, I've been thinking," she went on, "There is this cooking class in town that just started. You and I should go together! Since well, people don't like my food, and I know that, um, well…yours is, ah…"

Mari scrunched her nose slightly, furrowing her brows. "Mine is what?" she demanded.

Orihime grinned wildly. The old Mari…she was coming back! "Oh, I don't know how to say it!"

"I can cook circles around you, Inoue!" Marise declared, poking her in the forehead. "And I will prove it to you!"

"Great! We'll start this week then!" Orihime exclaimed, going back to her desk.

Marise sat at her own, and wondered what she had just agreed to. Was this Orihime's scheme? Marise thought that maybe Inoue Orihime wasn't as dumb as she always thought her to be.

The lunch bell rang, and Marise took a spot under a leafy tree to eat her lunch. The shielded her eyes from the sun, thinking it was too bright and too hot and that nothing felt right anymore. She just wanted to complain about everything, more than usual.

Eating by herself…it had been months since the last time she did that. Always before, she would have Shinji right beside her, being the perverted goofball that he always was.

"Mari-chan, share this Pocky with me."

Marise nibbled on her onigiri, a blush spreading across her cheeks as he said that. "N-no!" she refused.

No matter how many times she'd say no, he wouldn't take that for an answer, and they'd end up sharing the kiss anyway. Not that she ever minded, of course.

Shinji… Marise rested her chin on her knees, nostalgia sweeping over her. She barely noticed when Kurosaki Ichigo came and sat down beside her.

She turned to him in surprise, and opened her mouth to say something, though he interrupted.

"Although I don't really understand why…he does love you."

Mari's eyes went as wide as saucers, shocked by his statement. She then scrunched her nose slightly at him, turning away. Though she didn't say anything, she appreciated the comment.

She had hoped he would have gotten up and left after that, though he lingered behind, pulling out a college application.

"Oh," Mari groaned. "I still have to do that!"

Ichigo laughed at her, even though he had barely started on his applications. "You know, I think we might have one thing in common."

"Nuh-unh," Marise disagreed, feigning shock.

"Yep. Neither of us really know what we want to do."

Mari nodded, disappointed. "Yeah…"

I really wish I knew.

Every moment Marise wasn't doing something, she was thinking of Shinji. She wondered if he was happy, what he was doing, who he interacted with, if he missed her, if he had already fallen in love with someone else. She spent a lot of time thinking of the last part. She would sulk in her room at times, thinking that if Hirako Shinji were to fall in love with another girl, he would choose the right one this time. She'd be prettier, smarter, braver, more graceful, exquisite, and refined. He'd specifically find someone with the exact opposite personality of Marise, because she wasn't good enough, because she had been a mistake that he regretted and that he never wanted anyone like her ever again.

Wanting to stray away from these thoughts, she decided to do everything she could to occupy her time. She asked for more hours at her part-time job, actually attended the cooking classes with Orihime (and secretly enjoyed them), practiced dance more, volunteering to help the younger ones (and tried to be patient with them). She focused more on her studies, pulling up her grades, surprisingly enough, even managing to pass math with help from after school tutoring.

Lucille watched her daughter with worry with so much flurry and bustle going on. She worried Mari was working herself to death. However, she'd shrug it off, reasoning that it was better than seeing her mope around the house all day.

Marise also found that a good outlet for her bottled-up emotions was fighting Hollows. She wondered how she could have ever considered burying her Fullbring…it was a part of her, something that couldn't be thrown away or taken.

Though all of these events took a strain on her physically and mentally, thinking of Shinji would have torn her entire soul apart. So it was easier to just push all thoughts of him to the back of her mind and save it for at night…when she would cry herself to sleep.

It's been a few weeks since Shinji's departure, and he'd already grown accustomed to the daily routine of his position as Captain. His Lieutenant was still uneasy around him, though he figured she would begin to trust him over time. He knew all too well what it was like to be betrayed and deceived. She had been through so much, and needed the time.

One day, as he was sitting in his office, reviewing some applications from Shinigami who wanted to join the Fifth Squad, Kensei walked into the room.

He narrowed his eyes at Shinji, and with his lips curled in disgust, said, "What the hell is that?"

Shinji followed his gaze, which was on his tie (or maybe his chest), and looked back up at his comrade, eyes dull. "It's at tie, douchebag, can't ya tell?"

Kensei shook his head, trying to hold back a sigh of frustration. "It's a tie she gave you. Why are you wearing that?"

Surely enough, the tie Shinji wore was the one with the frightening hearts with their large eyes and strange expressions. Shinji clenched his teeth in anger. "Ya know, ya can say her name."

Kensei's eyes softened slightly. "Yeah…I can," he responded. "But you can't."

Mari was sprawled out on her mattress, lying on her stomach as she attempted to do her math homework for that night. She tapped the end of her pencil against her lip, then scratched her head with it, and then poked her nose with it; various gestures to try and past the time (or procrastinate, which she would never admit to). She squinted at the paper, curling her bottom lip upward and scrunching her nose in distaste in seeing all of the numbers and various formulas.

She had to look numerous times in the back of the book to make sure she was doing it right, and after half an hour, managed to do two of the fifteen problems. Sighing, Mari sat up, thinking it was a good time for a break. She planned to go downstairs to get some ice cream, but she paused, noticing the calendar on her wall.

"Oh," she said, as she had forgotten to change it from April to May. She went up and lifted up the page, taking out the pin and pinning the April page back, so that May was now showing. She grinned wildly in seeing the last day of school, though when her eyes trailed upward, her cheerful expression slowly faded.

May 10 – Shinji-pie's birthday! It read, written in red Sharpie, with a heart around it.

Shinji's birthday. How could she forget it? Did she deny it for the sake of not wanting to think of him, to try and move on?

Mari nibbled on her lower lip, uncertainty in her clear blue eyes. She wanted so badly to ignore it, to pretend that it wasn't really there…but…that would be so wrong.

She had to do something for him, right? It was tomorrow…what could she do?

Mari ignored the sensible part of her yelling at her to stop, and grabbed her phone. She texted Orihime:

Schedule a lesson tomorrow!

The reply she received:

Why?

Mari puffed out her cheeks in anger. How dare she question her!

Because I said so, that's why! She then added, I want to learn how to make a cake!

Ooh, that sounds like fun! All right!

Marise sighed, putting her phone on the bed. She picked up her Lupin plush doll, hugging it tightly.

Oh, Lupin… She thought, forlorn. Maybe it was smart of me to love you…because you're not real, you could never leave me.

"Ah, Mari-chan, over here!" called Orihime, cupping around her mouth with one hand and waving her other arm frantically.

Marise walked over to the cooking station Orihime was at, and huffed, "You don't have to yell so loudly and cause a scene!"

Orihime just smiled and put on a red and white striped apron. "You look like a candy cane," Marise laughed.

Orihime looked down at herself and also laughed. "I do, don't I? Here, put this one on, Mari-chan, it'll look so cute on you!"

Marise frowned as Orihime tied a light blue apron with many colorful cupcakes around her neck and waist. The ties around the neck and waist were a hot pink with white polka dots, and around her waist was a yellow sash tied into the bow on the side.

"We also need to put our hair up!" Orihime said, tying Mari's hair into a high ponytail with a ribbon. She did the same with her own, and folded her hands patiently on the table, waiting for their teacher's instructions.

The teacher, whose name was Tachibana Haku, looked to be in his early twenties. He was tall, not overly muscular or well built; he definitely looked the 'artist' type. From the very first day of class he talked about the 'culinary arts,' and that the end product was known as the 'masterpiece.' Mari thought everything he said was baloney, but so long as people stopped saying her food was awful, he could say whatever he wanted.

He clapped his hands together, getting everyone's attention. "Okay, today's lesson is all about desserts! Each pair requested their own dessert, and so I've put a recipe at your stations. They're fairly simple, so just follow them and your dessert should turn out divine! If you need any help, give me a shout."

Marise pulled out the scissors from the small pocket on her apron, snipping them toward Haku. "I'd love to chop off some of his hair!" she said. It was too long! When a boy needed to tie his hair into a ponytail, it was definitely a sign that he needed a haircut!

"Oh, you specifically wanted to do a birthday cake, Mari-chan?" Orihime asked, intrigued, looking at the piece of paper that had their recipe.

Mari blushed, nodding. "Um, I thought it was a good thing to learn, you know? Because, ah…everybody has a birthday…every year!"

"This is true!" Orihime agreed, clapping her hands together excitedly. "How do you want to make it? With sprinkles and glitter and flower for decorations?"

Though Mari would love a cake like that, she shook her head. "Um…no," she said slowly. "I want it to be a unique one! Something…funny! Clever and witty!"

"Hm…" Orihime mused, tapping her finger against her chin. "Oh, I've got it!"

Mari huffed and puffed as she trekked toward the Visored warehouse. She hadn't seen any of them since the day Shinji and them left, and her heart beat rapidly in their reaction when they'd see her.

Even though she knew Shinji wouldn't see her, she still wanted to look nice, and chose to wear a knee-length white dress patterned in a red floral design. Strands from both sides of her head were pulled back and clipped, while the rest of her curls flowed freely down her back and over her shoulders. In her arms she held the covered up cake she made with Orihime earlier that day, and also a long box underneath her arm.

The orange barrier was up as always, and she stood outside of it for a moment, tapping her foot on the ground. She then extended her hand, and felt that she could go through, meaning that Hachi already knew she was there. (And the other Visored probably did as well, since there was no point in trying to conceal her presence.)

She went down the stairs and heard voices, one in particular.

"Shut the hell up, baldy! Don't think yer all that now! Man, if I could beat yer ass right now, I would!"

Mari hurried into the room with wide eyes, expecting to see Shinji, though he wasn't there. She only saw, Lisa, Hachi, Love, and Hiyori…who was on the phone.

Lisa looked in surprise at Mari, who was speechless. Finding her voice again, she stuttered, "I…I…I just wanted to drop these off…" She bit her lower lip, glancing at Hiyori, who froze, pulling the phone slowly away from her ear.

"Hiyori? Hello, did ya fuckin' hang up on me? Answer, snaggletooth, I know yer there!"

Mari placed the covered cake and gift box on the table, taking a small step back. "I didn't know if you still…if you could somehow…"

Lisa jumped up, frazzle. "You have to go," she said urgently, but it was too late.

Shinji had heard her on the other end. "Is that Mari? Hiyori, give her tha phone. Hiyori! Did ya hear me?"

Hiyori had heard him all right. She glanced back at Mari, who looked at all of them with bewildered eyes, not knowing what to feel or do. She could hear his voice…did he sound different? It felt like a thousand years since she last talked to him, when really it had only been a few weeks…

"HIYORI!"

Hiyori knew that if either of them wanted to move on, they had to cut off all communications with one another.

"I said give her tha—!"

There was a click, and Hiyori snapped her phone shut. She narrowed her eyes at Marise, curling her lips up in a snarl. "Who the hell said you could come in?" she hissed.

Marise looked around frantically. "I…I…"

"Get. Out."

"…What?"

"Leave. And don't ever even think of comin' back. Ya must really hate Shinji. If ya truly loved him, ya'd let him live his fuckin' life."

She…she did love him! Was she wrong? Did she not do the right thing? Oh, she knew it was an awful idea from the start…she was so stupid…so, so stupid. Marise shook her head, tears stinging at her eyes. "I'm sorry…" she croaked. She decided to leave the cake with them, though took the box, and left.

It was silent in the warehouse for a few moments. Lisa sighed and got up from her spot, lifting the cover. Her turquoise eyes widened in surprise in seeing that she had brought a cake.

She couldn't help but burst out laughing when she took off the cover. It was a burger…a burger cake.

Hiyori growled, stalking over to what all the fuss was about. She cringed at the sight, shocked for a few moments, and then crossed her arms. "That dumbass girl…she can't even make a simple cake!"

"But, you know he'd love it!" Lisa laughed, wiping the tears from her eyes. She scooped up some of the frosting on her fingers and took a lick. "And wow, it's not even that bad!" She pulled out her phone and snatched a picture of it. "Something like this should be remembered."

Lisa pulled back, however, guilt washing over her. How come she was allowed to enjoy this, but not Shinji, the person whom it was meant for? She had even taken a picture of Mari in her dress when she wasn't looking, and planned on keeping that for herself as well.

Lisa snuck up to her room, and pulled her phone out. She texted the two pictures to Shinji, with the message: Look, your Mari-muffin made you this cake for your b-day. Doesn't she look adorable in that dress? I could be her replacement, you know.

It was getting darker when Marise left the warehouse, and she still had his gift in her hands. She was tempted to throw it away, but…but she wanted him to have it! Somehow, she would get it to him.

She lifted her head up suddenly. The pervert shopkeeper! Hurrying, she reached the Urahara Shoten and banged loudly on the door.

Urahara slid open the door, looking down at Mari in surprise. "Mari-san," he breathed. "It's been a while, though I'm always happy to see your face. Please, come inside."

Marise shook her head. "I didn't mean to bother you at this time," she explained quickly. "I…I was just hoping you could pass this on!" She took the box from behind her back and pushed it toward Kisuke, who looked at her curiously.

"What is it?"

"It's a gift…" she began. "For…ah…"

"Oh, I see. Um, well, I'll see what I can do, Mari-san."

Mari's eyes lit in delight, and she grabbed Kisuke's hand, squeezing it. "Oh, thank you, Urahara!"

Once she left, Urahara shut the door behind him, letting out a heavy sigh. He looked down at the box, thinking to just throw it away. What good would it do if he gave it to Shinji? It would only depress the man more, and he didn't need that. In fact, he needed to keep thoughts of Mari away from him, not hand him a gift from her. That wouldn't help at all. It would do more harm than good.

Yoruichi came into the room, wearing his green robe and a flimsy nightgown. She yawned long and loud, stretching her arms up. Her purple hair flowed freely around her, and she stumbled toward Kisuke, still half-asleep. She looked at the box in his hands. "What's that? Did you get me a present?"

"No," he murmured. "It's for Shinji."

She blinked, becoming more awake. "Mari was here? She…for him? She remembered? Oh wow," she breathed. "Why'd she bring it here?"

"In the hopes that I would somehow get it to him."

"Well…will you?"

"I shouldn't."

"Kisuke," Yoruichi scolded, giving him a stern look. "Have you ever experienced the feeling of leaving your loved one, or having your loved one leave you?"

Kisuke looked down at Yoruichi, into her golden eyes. He realized that she had been with him since the beginning, given up her life to protect him. "No…" he admitted. "I have no idea what that's like."

It was in the dead of night, and Shinji sat in his captain's quarters, resting on his futon. His heart felt heavy, thinking how awful a birthday he had. Since he was still fairly 'new,' his squad members didn't realize that today was his birthday, and he didn't feel like telling. What was there to celebrate? "You're one year older without a lover or friends, woo hoo?" Thanks, but he'd rather avoid that depression.

His phone vibrated from the desk, and he got up to get it. It was from Lisa, sent a few hours ago, but of course the connection between Soul Society and the World of the Living was sub-par, so it took forever for him to receive it.

When he opened the first one, he looked bewildered. A burger…what tha hell? However, when he read the message, his heart swelled with both joy and pain. He then chuckled under his breath, "Only Mari…" The burger cake was wrapped in a red-and-white-checkered cloth. Surrounding it were what appeared to be fries, which he assumed must also have been cake. He laughed aloud, there was even 'ketchup and mustard' squirted over it, the frosting.

The detail of the cake astounded him…he thought Lisa was lying when she said that Mari made it. The sesame on top of the bun looked so real, there was even lettuce and cheese that he could see! On the top written in red and yellow frosting it read: Happy Birthday Shinji!

He viewed the next message, and his heart practically stopped. Mari…his Mari. She looked absolutely adorable in her dress, though her expression was hesitant and slightly afraid. He wanted to hold her and tell her everything was okay…but it wasn't. And he couldn't.

He lifted his head, alert, hearing a rustle outside. He was about ready to pull out his sword, though relaxed when he saw Yoruichi come into the room.

She was dressed all in black, her mouth and hair covered. She had also masked her spiritual pressure, so well, that even Shinji had a hard time detecting her.

"It's about time!" he huffed, impatient. "Do ya have tha pictures?"

She rolled her golden eyes, which stood out even more in the dimmed room. "Yeah, yeah. You know, Shinji," she said, "When you said that you had a mission for me, I didn't think it would be anything so…obscure. You're lucky I was happy with somewhat reliving the life of a stealth Shinigami, even though I felt like a complete lech." She threw an envelope at him, which was full of snapshots of Mari. "There. That should fuel your perverted desires, at least for a week…maybe."

Shinji grinned wildly, like a child in a candy store, though really it was more comparable to a horny teenager at a stripper's club. He viewed each picture slowly, relishing the moment. He had gotten Yoruichi to take certain pictures of Mari…there were plenty of her working at the café, and he was lucky enough to receive a pantyshot of her. There were a few of her at school… Shinji grabbed a tissue to stop a nosebleed. One of her in the shower? Was he in Heaven? "Yoruichi, I love ya!" he exclaimed, tears of joy at his eyes.

"You are such a pervert," she said under her breath. "But you're welcome. If she ever finds out, she's going to kill me."

He was surprised to find one of her standing next to Orihime, wearing an apron, pouting, probably at what Orihime said. She was so goddamn cute! "I didn't know she started takin' cookin' classes," he murmured. No wonder that cake looked so damn good!

"Yeah, who knew?" Yoruichi replied. "Oh, and here."

Shinji looked down at the long white box she handed to him. "What's this?"

Yoruichi shrugged. "I don't know, but she brought it over to the shop earlier. Kisuke was planning on not giving it, but since I was coming up here anyway, I thought, 'hey, why not?' From the shape of it," she said with a smirk, "It's probably a beautiful tie like that one." She pointed at his tie, which was green with a row of Christmas tree lights, where the lights actually lit up.

"Ah, shut up." He opened it and stared at the contents in shock, pulling out the tie. It was like Yoruichi said, only…without the sarcasm. It truly was breathtaking. The tie was black, with white musical notes on it, along with the lines, the cleft…he could practically hear the jazz emanating from it…it was music to his ears and eyes.

"This is…incredible."

Yoruichi looked at in surprise. "Wow…she must have gotten good taste! It really suits you."

It was a wonderful gift…but Shinji couldn't help but think that seeing her would have been an even greater gift. "Thanks for bringin' this, Yoruichi."

She smiled gently at him. "Anytime, Shinji. If you get bored of those pictures, let me know. I'll try to get some of her fully naked the next time. See ya!"

Shinji waved her goodbye, and when he turned to pack the tie away, he saw a small note under the white tissue paper in the box.

Shinji,

I hope you like this tie, because I was very tempted to get one with flowers on it, it was so cute! They were pink roses and tulips, and I loved it, but you probably would have thought it was ugly. So I chose this one instead. I saw the musical notes, and it instantly reminded me of jazz, which made me think of you. Even if you don't wear it…please don't throw it away! I just want you to keep it, maybe something to remember me by? Even though you've probably already forgotten about me… I…I'm so embarrassed to write this, but I miss you, and I really meant what I said! Well, maybe not about the "H-things," because I'm still a little afraid, but I really do love you! Uwah, I'm sounding like such a dork, I'll stop before I write anything else stupid! Happy birthday!

- Marise

P.S. I had also made you cake, but I left it at the warehouse. Hopefully, they'll eat it and like it, because I'm taking cooking lessons now! (With that accursed Inoue, but it's not so bad actually.)

P.P.S. I also got an A on my math test! Aren't you proud of me?

P.P.P.S. I think there is this weird pervert following me around, like they're taking pictures of me! I never see anyone, but I feel these flashes of light sometimes around me, and it's really scary!

P.P.P.P.S. Have you ever wondered what the "P's" and "S's" stood for in a letter? Now I really want to know!

P.P.P.P.P.S. Okay, I'm done now. I promise.

Shinji stared at the paper for a few moments, his heart aching. That was it. He had to see her now.

Shinji snuck into the Asahina home, his spiritual pressure expertly masked so that it wouldn't be detected. With feather-light steps, he trotted up the stairs and found Mari's room, instantly drawn to her familiar spiritual pressure. He opened the door slowly, and his heart leapt in seeing her sleeping.

He hesitantly went to the side of the bed, and kneeled at her side, content with watching her sleep. He was just happy to be near her. She looked exactly the same, his same, lovable Mari-chan. She looked…fine, yet she also looked tired, drained of energy, much like he was nowadays.

He gingerly skimmed his fingers across her cheek, careful not to wake her up. He placed his hand on her head, wanting to touch those silky golden curls that he missed so much. Oh, how he wished she would open her eyes and allow him to sleep beside her like she did before, but he knew it couldn't happen…shouldn't happen.

Shinji's breath hitched in his throat when she moved slightly, parting her lips in a sigh. His eyes slowly widened when she began to mumble in her sleep. Her words were mostly unintelligible, probably something about ice cream or "Lupin-sama…" However, he nearly gasped when he heard her sigh softly, "Shinji…"

Shit, was she awake? He looked closely to see that she was still fast asleep. She was dreaming…about him?

"Please…don't go," she whimpered, squeezing her eyes tighter, shaking her head.

It took all of Shinji's willpower not to take her up in his arms; to hold her tightly and never let go. He leaned over her, trying to control himself. He wanted to kiss her everywhere, make her feel better, take her away from whatever nightmare she was having.

Instead, he leaned down and kissed her lightly on the forehead, and whispered, "Sweet dreams, Goldie."

He straightened and walked to the door, and when he looked back at her, he was relieved to find that her expression, which was pained before, was now a peaceful smile on her lips.

To Be Continued

: : : MY THANKS TO : : :

Juliedoo: Really? I'm glad you did, I wasn't sure how I did with that. Yeah, it really does kind of stink, because I love writing them together, but you're right, she needs to mature emotionally. I hope you liked this chapter.

Rin136: Aha, nice how you are torn between those two sides of you. XDDD Yeah…I'm sure that's kinda scarred her. Well, I think it depends on those around her, because so far, Orihime is doing a good job on keeping her from flying into a spiraling depression, but around boys, it may be a different story!

Bubbles227: Haha, it's okay. :D Thank you, I'm really happy you think so. Well, I'm not so sure, but I think Mari needs to interact more with other canon characters besides Shinji, so maybe!

EaSnowPw: Yes, yes, he really did! Forever…? Hmm, I'm not sure about that. But we'll see!

Chibi Kaite: Aww, did you? He was a meanie in that chapter, but he didn't mean it…lolpun. XD Pfft, it was between sex, and protecting Mari's life, and during those moments, Shinji was actually sane and chose protecting her life. XD Well, I hope this chapter, which is a lot longer, is satisfactory!

akagami hime chan: Yeah, I really try to keep it in canon, so Kubo really threw me a curve ball when I saw Shinjib ack in SS, I was like, "Gosh, how am I gonna put that in here?" Thankfully, it worked out. I know, but he said it to protect her, in the hopes that she'd get over him…it's too bad that she loves him so much. T_T Really? Thanks, that means a lot!

IamBlackBeyond: Oh, but he did! Ah, it's not that bad, I promise!

Evalyd Yamazaki: Thanks! Yeah, I agree, I don't like how they treat other races, they're kinda condescending in their decisions, like everyone is inferior to them. Aww, but he had to say it so that she could get over him! He hated himself for it too. v.v Yep, she needs to get stronger! She said she would, so now we can only hope!

WhisperInTheRain: Yeah, it was pretty dramatic, and not in the usual 'Mari-dramatic' way. Thank you, I hope you liked this chapter!

RunaHiroshi: Thanks for the story alert!

Author's Note: So yeah, not the best birthday for Shinji, but he did get a nice cake and tie! (And some pervy pictures of Mari, ha~) If only there were some smut for him, but it would have been too soon for them to actually interact. (At least I think so.) Did you notice that Mari is a lot kinder? She actually said 'sorry' and 'thank you' in this chapter! That's not something she would normally do, but I think that goes to show how much she's changing. (Hopefully not so much that she's OOC though. If you feel like she might be, let me know!)

Some of you may be wondering why Shinji said "Sweet dreams," to Mari, instead of, "I love you." Call me crazy, but I feel if he were to say that, she would suddenly wake up, because she was dreaming of him, and it wasn't a particularly good dream, so if she had subconsciously heard him...well, some of you wouldn't mind the early reunion, but for me, it's too soon. Gotta build up that suspense and longing!

I'm so glad that I got this chapter done, I wrote it in two days! So…now that I don't have any deadlines to meet, I'm going to be taking a break! Not a super long one though, you might get a couple of chapters before Mari's birthday, which is June 11. Heads up, that's also when she turns 18, ha! (No, there will not automatically be a lemon because of that, though that is a great celebration. XDDD)