Ch25

Night was falling as we entered the Ven Forest, the tall ancient trees casting dark shadows across our path. I followed Richard watching as he swayed tall in his saddle. By the set of his shoulders I could sense his great weariness and it made me ache to hold him, to let him bury his sorrows in my body, washing away his guilt and fear.

"Richard?" I whispered, not wanting to disturb the peaceful darkenss that encompassed us. "How much farther?"

"A few more miles and we'll be there. We can set up camp at the edge of the forest once we get there. Cara, Rikka and I will go into town to find Zedd while you stay with the men and settle them for the night."

"I should go with you." I said, my voice laced with fierce pleading.

He turned in his saddle and slowed his horse so I could catch up his brow crooked with worry. "Kahlan…one of us should stay behind and….."

"I will not spend another night without you in my arms, Richard." I said holding back the tears of frustration and jelousy. "Latley you spend more time with Cara and Rikka then you do with me and…."

He laughed, making my blood boil with anger "Kahlan! Do you really think that I would to anything with" he paused, chuckling "…I'm promised to you."

"Then act like it." I said through gritted teeth. He turned his horse then suddenly and moved off the path, then dismounted, reaching up quickly to grab the reins of my horse. I glared at him but dismounted after him and walked further into the trees.

"Are we stopping here, Lord Rahl?" Inquired General Reibisch when he saw us dismount.

"Kahlan and I are, but you take the men ahead….we'll catch up with you as soon as possible."

When Reibisch had gone far enough to be out of earshot, Richard turned with a worried expression on his face. "What is this about, Kahlan?" He reached out to pull me to him but I shoved past him.

"Why haven't you...since we left Tamarang, then? I can't confess you...don't you want to be with me?"

His jaw dropped in shock "Kahlan!" he said in utter horror and shock. "Dear spirits, how can you even think that?"

I stepped close to him so he would not miss the heat of my anger "All I know is that you are with them...not me." I said tears of pain from not having him by my side, seeing him turn into himself and now this...spending the night doing better things, things without me.

"I would never, ever do that to you...you're to be mine and me yours...and dear spirits you're the only woman I've ever wanted, Kahlan. If you must know" he said running his hand through my hair sending a shiver down my spine. "I have Rikka and Cara helping me with a surprie for you." he smiled at me tryng to bring me back to him.

"Then why aren't you in my bed at night?" His eyes widened in shock at my bluntness. "Dear spirits, Richard! I thought that day that I had confessed you. You can't even imagine what that was like for me, Richard, having to choose between you and humanity! The only reason I chose what I did is because I know it's what you would have chosen for your fate. And then...when you told me that you wouldn't let go..." I was sobbing, my arms wrapped around my self "...and I've ached for you for so long...especially since that night in Aydindril. I thought we would never...again but now that we can you don't even stay with me but are doing spirits know what with your Mord Sith and I..."

"Kahlan..." he said in warning, fury was laced in his voice "If you think I've betrayed you, then I can't marry you."

My eyes widened in shock and I collapsed to the ground a sobbing pathetic woman in love. "Don't say that, please don't say that...I'm sorry Richard. But what am I supposed to think when you don't.."

"I wanted to honor you by waiting, Kahlan. Our wedding night should be sacred, something that we've both waited for."

"But we've already..."

"Only because it may have been our only chance. And I know I tell you that you're already my wife but...I can't help but feel like I've dishonored you. Thats why I haven't been staying with you, I want to wait and if I stayed with you, dear spirits, I wouldn't be waiting." he said causing be to blush bright red at him admiting his want for me. "Our men all know we are to be married, what kind of leader would I be if I laid with the Mother Confessor as if she were no more than my whore? I am not my father, Kahlan. I won't just expect you in my bed because I demand it of you...thats what Darken Rahl did with his women. I want them to see me as a man who honors the woman he loves." He lifted my chin searching my face for any sign of understanding. Even though I understood what he was saying I couldn't help but still feel the sting of jelousy when he spent all his time, as of late, with Cara and Rikka.

I sighed looking at him hoping that he would miss the jelousy written across my face. "I'm still coming with you. I will not be parted from you again Richard." I said in a commanding tone.

"Kahlan...let me make this special for you."

"You can, I just want to be with you tonight." His eyebrows furrowed in sadness and it made me ache with pain as he backed away from me to lean against a tree. "If you want to wait, I will, Richard but..." I looked down at my hands twisting the string that held my pants in a tightening tangle around my fingers. The sting was a welcome release from my fury and disappointment of being denied by Richard. "I don't know how much longer I can stand this...please, Richard, marry me soon. I want to be yours so badly."

"I want that too, Kahlan." he said cradling my face in his hands. I hooked my thumbs through the rings of his armbands holding him to me. "More than anything. As soon as we meet up with Zedd, I promise." He kissed me gently and he put an arm around my waist, guiding me out to the road where our horses were waiting.

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Zedd's smile widened as I stood close to Richard, Cara and Rikka flanked far back behind us. "...And when I felt her powers consume me, I gave myself over to them." He turned to me then with love in his eyes and ran his hand gently down my arm and took my hand intertwining our fingers. "At that moment, I wanted nothing more then for her powers to take me...I wanted her to confess me. The thunder without sound sliced through my soul and I felt everything she is overtaking me..." He squeezed my hand, pulling me closer against him. "Then when she pulled the knife from my belt to stab herself I stopped her but she begged me to let go." His voice cracked and with emotion at the memory of it. "But I refused her.."

"My boy..." Zedd said slapping a strong hand around Richard's shoulder and grinning even wider, so much that his face looked like it would explode with joy. "It's about time you figured it out!"

Richard narrowed his eyes at Zedd and I was too stunned to speak "You knew? And you didn't tell us? You watched us suffer...loving each other to the point of breaking and forcing Kahlan to take a mate...how could you do this to us." I felt his muscles tense against me with rage but Zedd remained calm with a look of pity.

"If I had told you..either of you," he glanced at me and Richard clutched me by the waist, snaking his arm around me and grabbing my hip turning me sideways so I could rest my face against his chest. I hadn't even noticed that I had been crying until I felt the wetness on his skin. "there may have been a shred of doubt..and even the tiniest amount of distrust would have caused her powers to take hold of that peice of you and make it her own...your soul would be lost to us. Do you understand why I couldn't tell you? I wanted so much to. Kahlan," I looked at him from my place against Richard's chest "the night in Aydindril when we spoke of...your duties as a confessor I wanted so much to take you in my arms and tell you but I couldn't. I was confident Richard would eventually figure it out but I was afraid that by the time he did that you..." he stopped when my lower lip began to tremble at the thought of what I had done and could have done. "Dear one, Richard...I must be the happiest grandfather and Wizard of the First Order that ever existed! And my answer is yes..." he came forward embracing both of us in the same tight hug, nearly crushing us, "I would be more than happy to bless you in marriage. When do you want ths blessed event to take place?"

"After we find the division..."

"Now. Bless our union now, Zedd." I said in desperation. Richard backed away so that he could look at me "I cannot be without him, not for another moment."

"Give us a minute alone please?" said Richard. Zedd nodded and walked back towards Rikka and Cara. They left the clearing of trees to us allowing us our privacy. I turned to Ricahrd as they disappeared and he turned so that we were facing each other. "Kahlan...are you alright?" he asked.

I clutched him to me, burrying my face in his chest "I can't lose you...I can't. Please, Richard. Please make me yours...now." I felt like I would break and I was so afraid of losing him. The overwhelming sensation of everything being lost...of Richard being lost...was too much to bear.

"You're not going to lose me." he whispered against my neck. "And if you want to marry me now, I will. I just thought that you would want something more for your wedding...after all you're the Mother Confessor. What kind of husband would I be if I didn't give you what you deserved?"

"I only want you." I said in a breathless sobb. "If something were to happen to you..."

"What's going to happen, Kahlan? Our greatesst threat has been defeated. Jagang is dead."

I gripped his shirt and pulled his face close to mine. "It doesn't matter! The Order still exists and they hate me...and now that you've killed their leader? Dear spirits, Richard, your life is is more danger than its ever been." I was a hysterical mess, shaking all over and clinging to Richard as though he was just a spirit that would disappear. He held me gently, drawing his hand soothingly down my hair and then pressing me against him with his hand on the small of my back.

"Oh, Kahlan...I'm so sorry. I didn't realize how afraid you were. Why didn't you tell me sooner."

I broke from his embrace and took a few steps back. "You've barely spoken to me in the past few days...and you're not coming to me at night. Maybe if I had told Cara my worries you would have known."

He looked stunned as though I had just slapped him in the face and his eyes watered with tears. "Damn you, Kahlan...how can you say that? And you want to marry me? How can I marry you when you don't even trust me.?"

I hung my head in shame. I couldn't look at him but I spoke through my tears "I trust you with everything that I am, Richard. I just...I love you so much and I'm jealous, for the first time in my life. I've never done this before, ever. I've never loved or even had feelings for anyone, I didn't have a reason to be jealous...but with you...just the thought of someone else with you...it scares me far more than the Order, or Darken Rahl or anything ever has."

The pain that had shadowed his face disappeared then and he began to laugh, softly at first and then he was laughing so hard that he was clutching his stomach from the force of it. "The Mother Confessor is jealous because she thinks that other women would steal a woods guide from her? You're daft, Kahlan. But I love you for it." He had walked to me and stood in front of me then taking me by my arms. The raptor gaze sliced through me then and I felt like falling under his gaze. "You have nothing to be worried about, Kahlan. Don't ever forget that, promise me?" I nodded weakly then and he smiled. "I can marry you now, Mother Confessor, whenever you want...anytime is perfect for me as long as it's perfect for you." I threw my arms around his neck and kissed him.

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I was waiting with Zedd in the Hartland square, the same place I had ran and played as a child. My heart beat widly in my chest and I looked out at the men an women of the D'Haran and Midland armies. Mixed in were men from the Westland regions who had joined in the resistance during Darken Rahl's reign. The sentiment of their loyalty added to the joy and excitment of my marriage to Kahlan.

"Richard," It was Zedd who had been appraising the surroundings whiile we waited. "I always dreamed of the day I would witness you taking a wife here in this very place where your mother married George Cypher, but I never for once imagined you would marry the Mother Confessor herself. You never seize to amaze me since the day you were born." he grinned widly from ear to ear as he reached inside his sleeve. "I have something of your mother's that I managed to salvage from your home before we left Hartland three years ago before setting out to defeat Darken Rahl. Her mother, who was also my wife and your grandmother, wore it at our wedding." He handed me a delicate silver band that wound in an intricate design around a small black stone in the middle. "The stone is part of what was used in building the Wizard's Keep. It was used by the wizards of time before remembering to weave a spell of protection around the people of Aydindril...and the very first confessors that dwelled there. It meant a great deal to your mother and she wanted to give it to you on your wedding day. She told me once to promise her that if anything ever happened to her before you chose your wife that I would make sure to give it to you."

I took the delicate ring that held so much history and emotion for me and knew that Kahlan was the only woman worthy of wearing it. "Thank you Zedd" I said giving him a quick strong embrace which he returned by squeezing me until I felt like I couldn't breathe.

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"Stop fidgeting and stand still Mother Confessor or I may just have to use my agiel to make you." I let out a huff of breath and forced my shaking body to relax while Cara tied spring flowers in my hair. "Okay, I think that does it." she said pulling tight the last strand of my hair to hold the tiny flower. "Rikka, I need the binding ribbon" she said and Rikka came forward holding a deep red sating ribbon. Cara bent down and roughly pulled my skirt aside and shoved it into my hands. "Do I have to do everything for you? Hold it up so I can tie this around your thigh." I held my skirts not really knowing why the binding ribbon was to be tied there...this was not a traditional Confessor's wedding but I had told Richard to follow traidition from his homeland, not wanting the pomp and circumstance that was normally used. I hissed when Cara tied it tight, almost too tight but I didn't complain, not wanting to admit weakness. I had asked her and Rikka to help me get ready for the wedding and they only relented because I told them Lord Rahl had suggested it. They hated weddings and lace and ribbon...all the things a Mord Sith were not used to. They had done well, I thought with what little time I had given them.

"Alright, you're ready." said Cara as she spun me around to look in the mirror. I was surprised at the sight the tiny flowers made in my hair and had rarely ever seen part of it pulled back off my face. My green forest dress was the only clean one but it would have to do. I was still apprehensive and wondered if Richard would find me beautiful. As if she read my mind Rkka came to stand beside me in the mirror. "Lord Rahl will find you appealing enough, Mother Confessor. Stop worrying and lets get this over with."

"Thank you Rikka." I said smiling to myself at the vain attemp of a Mord Sith trying to compliment me. Cara and Rikka then led me out of the bakers shop that had served well as a bridal room and we made our way through the men and women that stood in honor of me as I passed by.

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Everyone and everything melted away except the sight of Kahlan walking toward me. She was more beautiful than I had ever remembered her being and she was to be mine forever. Her green forest dress that she wore stole my breath and took me back to that night at Emma and Chase's where I had first began to love her instead of just wanting her. It was Kahlan who I loved more than life itself who had spoken tender words of encouragement to me that night, settling my soul like no other ever had. Her special smile, the one she gave only me, had first appeared that night and I would cherish it forever.

I inhaled deep the scent of her when she finally came to stand close in front of me. The tiny flowers in her hair made her look like and eartheral spirit and the sight of my pendant around her slender neck, resting against her breasts, brought a silent sob of longing to my chest. Her eyes locked with mine as she reached to entwine our fingers and the barritone of zedd's voice was only a sound to add with the night. "I love you", I said with my eyes and tears began to escape down her ivory cheeks. I leaned in, brushing my lips lightly agaisnt her cheeks feeling the tears that had fallen.

"...and this day the good spirits witness the binding of two souls," broke in Zedd's voice through my thoughts. He continued to address our men as I held her in my sight wanting to convey all my wordless declarations of love. "...Richard and Kahlan."

Zedd glanced at me and Kahlan, placing his hands that held the sword of truth over our heads. "Truth, that which binds you and that which has created the bond of love within you, I place over this union, securing both the power of Confession and the power that is in the Seeker to protect you both." He lowered the sword handing it to Kahlan. "Mother Confessor, you must honor him with the power of Truth and of your own powers...will you vow to this as his Confessor, his wife and his soul?"

She held the sword up to her lips, locking her unwavering stare with mine. "I do so swear, as his Confessor, his wife and his soul." She kissed the sword, sealing her oath to me and then she lowered the sword where I could wrap my fingers around hers over the hilt.

"And Richard...will you promise as her husband, the Seeker and her soul that you will use the magic of turth to protect her and honor her always, standing by her side as she fullfills her duties as Confessor?" I bent to kiss the hilt of the sword brushing her fingers with my lips as she continued to hold it. "I do so swear, as her Seeker, her husband and as her soul." She was trembling with emotion as she lifted the baldric over my head draping it over my my shoulder so the sword would rest at my back. When she was finished I gripped her hands to steady them with one hand while with the other I gently moved aside the folds of her skirt. I found the binding ribbon and undid it with one hand and pulled it slowly from her thigh flattening my palm against her bare skin, causign her breath to catch, before letting go and turning to hand it to Zedd.

Kahlan handed me her dagger and I cut across her palm drawing a tiny river of blood, but she smiled as though I had placed a kiss there instead. I passed the dagger back to her and she returned the favor, drawing the sharp blade against the inside of my palm. When I finished I returned it to Kahlan's hip and then Zedd was binding our hands with the ribbon. My heart began to beat with wild abandon when I felt her palm press against mine and the binding that symbolized our union was drawn tight around our hands. We then said the words to each other that both of us had dreamed would never be possible.

There are three fountains In the mountain of roses, each I pledge to you.

One of love, to drink deeply together,

the second of desire, to trail our hands in its heated flow,

The third of fidelity, that quenches our thirst when all other waters fail

We are young; we are old, we are eternal

In the spirit world, in this world, at the end

In body, in blood, and soul

In the valleys and mountains, under the stars

You are always my husband

You are always my wife

"In the name of the spirits of old and yet to come I, First Wizard Zeddicus Zul Zorannder, do so name you man and wife." A loud chorus of cheers vibrated throughout the small courtyard of Hartland as I pulled my wife against me and kissed her. We were one in body, blood and soul before the good spirits and all who knew and loved us.

*Note to readers, the vows in this chapter were a modified version of old Celtic wedding vows that I found in a book called 'Dark Moon of Avalon'.