Chapter XXIV – H for Head

Twinkle twinkle little star
I can see now where you are

Alistair's eyes widened at the words. He looked back at his younger blond brother, almost scared of Arthur's reaction. But it was as he expected. Arthur just sat there, on his bed, his fists clenched to the point of bleeding, his head low and his body trembling of sudden shivers. Alistair could not see his brother's face but he could guess there would be horror, fear, anger, disgust and hatred painted on it.

They were alone in Arthur's room. After hearing Feliciano's cry, the redhead had rushed up to check on his brother, followed by a horde of Kirklands. Everyone would be concerned if something happened to their precious Omega. Barging in the room, all Alistair saw was Feliciano desperately calling Arthur's name, holding the unconscious body of his brother in his arms. Without a second thought, Alistair's fist flew through the air and collided with Feliciano's face. As if it had been just mere air moving around, Feliciano did not budge or even blink. He took the blow but kept his attention only on Arthur, clinging to the blonde's body desperately. Alistair growled, his murderous Alfa aura sprouting out and making everyone within a 5 meters radius from him, bow to their feet from the pressure. He wasn't officially Head Alfa yet but he already had all the approvals of his clan and the dominance to be Head. Unconsciously, even his own brothers could do nothing but kneel down, crushed by his rage and anger, the murderous aura growing ever so stronger with each passing second.

But Feliciano still did not react. As if he were completely immune to it. Alistair frowned, remembering how Arthur often complained to him that he would scare his friends away due to his aura. If he didn't know any better, Alistair would think that the reason Feliciano isn't affected by his dominance would because … he is stronger than Alistair? Yeah, like that's even possible!

Marching towards the Italian and his unconscious brother, Alistair noticed that Feliciano couldn't have been the one to harm Arthur. Not when he's crying so desperately over him, shielding the blonde's body from any harm, begging Arthur to wake up. No. Alistair, as the hot-head he is, had assumed Feliciano had been the one to attack his brother but as he forced himself to calm down and think rationally, he realised there would be no way Feliciano would ever harm his brother. He's too weak.

Then … what happened to make his wee brother collapse?!

"Speak. Explain to me what happened to my brother." Alistair summoned but again, got ignored by the Italian.

By now, the Briton was growing impatient and angry, not to mention how concerned he was for Arthur. He grabbed Feliciano's collar and slammed the kid into the wall, pulling him away from Arthur. The Italian seemed to only react at the loss of contact with the blonde, his wide brown eyes desperately narrowed on the sleeping figure of Arthur. Alistair hissed closer to the Italian's ear, using all of his dominance to make the Italian obey him. Usually, as a respect towards other Alfas, Alistair tries not to over-power them too much so as not to break their pride as Alfas. But furious as he was, the raging red beast was not in the mood to be considerate of such things. He will crush that Italian if that's what it will take to make him step away from his precious brother.

"ANSWER ME!" He roared.

To his surprise, Feliciano did react but not how he expected him to. Whipping his head around, Feliciano finally broke his eye contact with Arthur's figure and gazed deeply into Alistair's emerald eyes. Now, there was no doubt possible. No trick of the light either. Alistair was too close to pretend he wasn't seeing this. The Italian wore a blank expression, denuded of emotions, only his eyes spoke and for the first time in his life, Alistair felt like a real threat for his family just stood there in his grasp. Not just a threat. A terrifying threat. A cold-hearted monster with cruel bloody red eyes.

"Enough! Alistair, you're suffocating everyone in the house! And do not assault poor Feliciano who has nothing to do with this! You should be taking care of your brother instead! Now calm down and drop rage and anger." Merwin spoke calmly as he walked into the room, seemingly unaffected by Alistair fury aura.

The redhead briefly got distracted from Feliciano and this was enough to break the trance he had been in, staring in the Italian's blazing red eyes. He nodded at his grandfather and taking a deep breath, forced his Alfa aura to settle down. A few gasps and heavy breathing let him know that he had indeed nearly suffocated his entire clan under his pressure, out of pure rage. Oddly enough, Feliciano had not once been affected. How is this even possible? What is wrong with this weird kid?

Alistair let go of the Italian, noticing how Feliciano's eyes had reverted back to their warm chocolaty colour and he jumped hurriedly back to Arthur's side, sobbing and calling like a widowed Alfa. Alistair watched the young brunet with suspicious green eyes but he decided he would deal with Feliciano later. His first priority is indeed Arthur. Looking back to Merwin, he watched his grandfather pick up the blonde gently and lay him on his bed.

The old man stroke Arthur's golden blonde hair out of the lad's face, smiling softly before he turned back to the troupe of people waiting at the door. Nobody dared to enter, mainly because neither their current Head-Alfa nor their Future Head-Alfa were allowing them to step inside. If they so much as tried, a terrible crushing pressure would over-power them instantly. And since Alistair's last display of power, nobody was willing to risk angering their Heads. Nobody paid attention to the odd freak Italian Alfa whining by Arthur's side like a lost puppy calling his master. Nobody except the two Kirkland Heads.

While Alistair seemed confused and suspicious, Merwin only looked concerned for the sake of the Italian. He needed to discuss this over with the brunet as soon as possible or Feliciano might put others and himself in danger. But he also needed to deal with Arthur. And with all these people in the house. Nodding to himself, the old man spoke up his decision, using his Head-Alfa tone so that nobody would dare to question him.

"Alistair, I want you to watch over Arthur and ask him what happened when he wakes. Feliciano Vargas, you will be coming with me. I wish to ask you personally what happened. Everyone else is dismissed."

If the Kirklands understood the order, Arthur and Feliciano's friends seemed at loss and confused. Until Merwin narrowed his angry single emerald eye on them, making every non-Kirkland jump and scurry away. Dismissed means: Get the fuck out of here before I drag you out myself! It was clear enough that they now all understood and rushed away to wait downstairs like all the other Kirklands. Nobody challenges the Head's word.

After that, Alistair had patiently waited for Arthur to wake up. Hours had ticked and he expected that by now, most of their guests had left (or been kicked out by a worried powerless Bridget as mean for her to calm her nerves). Either way, the scarlet haired man couldn't care less. He waited patiently until his brother finally woke up from his slumber.

"Arthur! Are you alright? How are you feeling?" Alistair jumped by the blonde's side in a flash.

However, Arthur's emerald eyes seemed dull and confused, as if he wasn't quite sure of what happened or how he ended up here. Sitting up, the blonde looked around his room then his brother. He frowned, trying to piece back his messed up memories. He remembers tending to Feliciano's wound and then …

Arthur's eyes widened suddenly and he turned towards the fallen sketch book on the floor next to the white rose and the small note. So it wasn't a dream! Alistair followed his brother's eyes and for the first time, noticed the odd items lying on the floor. He hadn't paid it much attention, too concerned about Arthur. But the sight of the white rose made him frown, praying this was not what he thought it was. Arthur's terrified expression was not helping in convincing him otherwise. Walking to the dropped objects, Alistair first picked up the note and the small book.

Twinkle twinkle little star
I can see now where you are

Alistair crushed the note in his angry fist then leafed through the small sketch book. He was horrified. All of the sketches were ones of Arthur. Arthur walking to school with his friends, Arthur daydreaming in class, Arthur arguing with Francis at the cafeteria, Arthur studying at the school's library, Arthur beating up Alfas behind the school, Arthur getting hit on by other Omegas and Betas, Arthur demoralising every Alfa from beating them all the time in Sports class, Arthur walking home from school with Feliciano, Arthur hanging out on weekends with Matthew and Tino, Arthur talking and laughing, Arthur arguing and fighting with his brothers, Arthur failing another cooking attempt with their father, Arthur in his room doing his homework, Arthur practicing on his guitar, Arthur in the shower, Arthur changing, Arthur sleeping peacefully unaware, Arthur …

The guy has been fucking stalking his wee brother?! And worse of all, he was mocking them by sending them this sketch book! It's even worse than pictures because having to sketch means you need time and patience, which implies that the bastard has been trailing and watching Arthur for a very long time now! And to think they thought they had gotten rid of him!

Alistair looked back at his terrified brother. The last time they had been in such a situation, Alistair's words had been easy to speak and confident. But now, he felt like he had just betrayed those past words and he didn't know what to say this time around. He just stood there, powerless and fearing if he spoke, he might break Arthur completely.

What a fine Head he makes! Alistair thought bitterly.

Feliciano couldn't calm down. He couldn't stop his body from jumping up and down, ready to pounce off his chair and rush to Arthur's side at any time. He couldn't think clear either. In his mind, the clear image of Arthur's horrified expression passing out and collapsing kept playing over and over. Clenching his already bleeding fist, Feliciano ignored the biting needles of pain and the blood now flowing out like a fountain. He couldn't stop his eyes from shifting back to the door, his ears strained and waiting to hear a call from his friend at any moment.

Merwin watched the fidgety Italian seated in front of him. They were in the old man's office, with Merwin crossing his fingers and watching a nervous Feliciano ready to bounce away the minute he got news from Arthur. This is a dangerous situation and the old man new to tread carefully. He just could not understand why that Vargas imbecile had not realised his grandson's condition sooner!

"Feliciano … I understand what you told me. But now, I need you to listen to me for a while."

Feliciano barely paid the old man any heed. He had already told Merwin everything that had happened, noticing how Merwin's eyes had darkened significantly from when he had told him about the unexpected gift on Arthur's bedside. But now that he was done telling him, all Feliciano wants is to rush back to Arthur's side.

"I know you are concerned about my grandson and for that, I thank you. But you need to understand that in the state you are currently in, you are more of a threat to Arthur than anything else."

At that, Feliciano's head snapped back to stare in astonishment at the old red-haired Kirkland. Staring into Merwin's only green eye, Feliciano knew that the man was dead serious about his words. A threat? Him? To Arthur? How? It makes no sense! Feliciano has never been a threat to anyone! How could he be a threat to Arthur of all people?!

"Ve … A threat …?"

"Indeed. You probably haven't noticed yet but I am pretty sure you soon will. That fool of a grandfather of yours clearly is ignoring you, hoping you won't awaken if he locked you up like a bird in a cage. Silly fool." Merwin sighed heavily while running his fingers over his tired eye.

"Ve! I don't understand!" Feliciano started to feel a lump at the bottom of his stomach. Fear. He recognised the familiar feeling. But why did it feel different this time?

Merwin didn't answer for a moment, considering his next words carefully. He opened up his only eye and the loss of all emotions on the man's face made Feliciano jump back a little. Again, the fear. But it was not a fear that invited him to run away. He couldn't run. No. He wasn't allowed to run. It was as if his body refused to obey him and all he could do was to remain trapped in the glowing green eye of the Kirkland Head of Clan.

"This is called the King's Silence." Merwin peacefully explained. He seemed no different from usual but at every word he spoke, Feliciano felt his lungs getting crushed and an overwhelming terror course through his entire body. He could physically feel the fear rush down his veins like venom, freezing him still and powerless.

"Only a legitimate Head Alfa can hold such power. It is a normal reaction for you to feel as you do now. What surprised me was that you barely reacted to Alistair's King's Silence. Of course, he isn't the Head yet but he already is acknowledged by most … but obviously not by you."

Feliciano wanted to speak but he couldn't. Merwin smiled but did not release the Italian from his grip. Not yet. He wanted to engrave this fear in Feliciano so that the boy would understand his place and his relation to Arthur accordingly. Friendly is fine … but Feliciano needs to understand his limits. After all, he is not a part of the Clan.

"For a Head Alfa to be able to use the King's Silence, he needs to acknowledged as such. If there is doubt in someone else's mind, challenge of his authority, then his aura will not have the effect it has on you. Of course, even without the King's Silence, it is possible to over-power another with just natural Alfa pressure. But as you can see … the feeling you are experiencing now is completely different."

At those words, Feliciano nearly felt himself pass out from the intense pressure. It was like he was being crushed by gravity while remaining at ease and peace. His body was crying in agony but still diligently willing to obey the perpetrator of such suffering. Absolute obedience. Perfect for a King.

"Nowadays few people even know about the King's Silence. It was lost in tradition. And it tends to only have an effect on members of the same clan or on close friends or familiar acquaintances. It wouldn't have much effect on strangers. If it interests you, your grandfather can also use this skill."

Feliciano wasn't sure why he was being told all of this. In fact, he was barely able to breathe properly, let alone follow the conversation. What did all that have to do with him anyway?!

"I'm sorry if you feel uncomfortable but you must understand that I cannot let you get too conceited. As a friend of Arthur, I am glad to have welcomed you in our clan, but remember, you are not a clan member. You are not a Kirkland. Your challenge of Alistair's authority cannot be tolerated. I understand that in your eyes, he is not Head Alfa yet. And I understand your feelings for my grandson. But please, be mindful of your step. Do not conceit yourself in thinking you are above all our rules." Merwin's voice grew deeper and harsher.

Feliciano felt his body shake of fearful shudders. The glowing emerald eyes felt like a prison to his soul, ripping his body to shreds, burning him to the ground, leaving nothing left.

"Know your place, boy." Merwin lowered his tone and with a sigh released the boy from his dominance. "Now, aside from that matter, there is something else. Regarding your unstable state."

Feliciano coughed and grasped for air, his body still tingling from the previous terrorised paralysis it had suffer. He felt like he had been called back to order after having disobeyed. He had never felt such an experience until now … but then again, he had never disobeyed until now.

"M-My … un-unstable state …?" The Italian breathed out in a whisper.

"Feliciano, do you understand what you are?"

"Ve?"

"What is your race?"

"Alfa." The Italian mumbled with discarded eyes and a low head, shame befalling him. Merwin instantly noticed the change of reaction. He sighed heavily.

"Lift your head up, Feliciano. If you keep taking yourself down by the mere thought of your nature, you will never be able to control yourself."

"Ve? Control … myself?" Feliciano frowned in confusion.

"You may think you are the only abnormal case, but the truth is, you are not. Arthur's situation is even more complex than yours but let's compare you both for a moment. What race is Arthur?"

"Omega."

"And when he told you so, did he seem ashamed of this?"

Feliciano blinked as he remembered every time Arthur told about his race. He especially remembered his strong confident presentation at the beginning of the year when he announce to the whole class that he was an Omega. No. There was no shame in him. There is never an ounce of self-hate, shame or embarrassment in Arthur. Feliciano always remembers Arthur to stand tall and proud with his head high."

"No." Feliciano whispered with a soft fond smile. Merwin nodded, smiling back.

"Of course not. Not anymore. He used to be troubled by his condition when he was young. Arthur had no friends for most of his life due to his personality. He also lived in the shadow of his name which is often enough to scare anyone away. More than once, Arthur had felt shame at being such a failure of an Omega. He was proud of his Omega genes but he was disappointed in himself. As you noticed, Arthur is all but an Omega character."

"Si …"

"But with time and thanks to his brothers, Arthur slowly accepted his differences and he now doesn't care if he doesn't fit the box. He is proud to be an Omega. And even more proud to be an independent Omega who doesn't need the support of any Alfa."

Feliciano nodded, adoration in his brown eyes. Merwin mentally groaned. The boy was completely infatuated by his grandson. This is not going to be easy.

"Now, let's look at you."

Immediately, Feliciano looked down, shame and self-hate overcoming him. Yep, not easy at all.

"Feliciano, you must learn to accept your Alfa side. I understand you tried to act like an Alfa but that is not what I mean. For people like you or Arthur, trying to fit in and follow conventions is only worsening your condition. You need to accept who you are and acknowledge your inner Alfa."

"I don't have an inner Alfa."

"Feliciano … the problem with these kinds of cases is that without help, most people end up with split personality. If you keep bottling up your Alfa, it will eventually twist your brain and create a double personality."

"A … double personality?" Feliciano blinked in surprise. He had never heard of that happening. But what would be wrong with him creating a more Alfa personality to himself? Wouldn't it be better?

"No, it wouldn't." Merwin answered his mental question as if he had read his mind. Can he read minds?

"Yes, I can but that's beside the point." The old man answered once more, lighting up his pipe and taking a few smokes out of it. His only green eye narrowed back on Feliciano as he continued his explanation.

"Having your Alfa side come out all at once will twist you into a different person. I've noticed it happening when you challenged Alistair's authority earlier. Luckily, it seems you still have everything under control for now so I imagine it is only a recent change. But understand that letting this to go any further might put the very person you are trying to protect in danger."

Feliciano's panic-stricken expression mouthed Arthur's name silently. Merwin nodded sadly.

"Yes. If you wish to understand it better … Imagine all the characteristics that people assimilate to Alfas: Confidence, Physical Abilities, Impatience, Hot-Head, Egocentric, Violent, Over-bearing, and Natural pleasure at causing harm to others … Usually these characteristics are dosed by the person's personality. Alfas are not all wild beasts or serial killers. But now, in your case, your personality cannot match to these features. So, subconsciously, you isolate your Alfa. But in doing so, you hold back on yourself. So when pushed to the limit, no matter how hard you try to hold it back, deep down you are still an Alfa. And if your personality is a prison to that Alfa … let me ask you: What happens if the cage breaks and the beast escapes?"

Feliciano stared in shock at the revelations of the old man. He had … he had a beast inside of him? Well, it is true that on occasions, recently, Feliciano has been feeling slightly different, like overwhelmed with feelings he was never familiar with. Whenever he gets emotionally disturbed, something in him would click and it felt like a surge of blind raw power over takes him.

"Following this logic …" Merwin continued. "It is only a matter of time before that Alfa in you creates a new personality all together. With every lock you open, the beast will grow stronger."

"But …! But what should I do …? How can I keep my Alfa side locked up?"

"You don't." Merwin answered casually, making Feliciano pale in fear. The old Kirkland smirked amusedly.

"What I mean to say is … you don't need to lock up the beast. You are an Alfa, Feliciano. The first thing you need is to accept that. Stop rejecting who you are. The only reason you are acting strange is due to your conscious rejection to yourself. Arthur has long accepted that he is an Omega. And he doesn't mind if people look at him funny or if they treat him differently. As long as he keeps his own peace of mind, then the world around him doesn't matter. You need to learn to accept that you are an Alfa but that you will never be seen as an Alfa. And it doesn't matter! Stop concerning yourself with other people's opinions or conventions! And trust me, you may think you have no Alfa traits to you but I am certain you will soon realise otherwise. You know what really helped Arthur in accepting his Omega?"

Feliciano shook his head, waiting for the answer. Merwin smiled and opened one of his desk drawers, pulling out a cotton tissue cover for his pipe. He handed it to Feliciano with extra care. Feliciano looked it over. It was nothing exceptional. White with very detailed and skilful embroidery on it of Merwin's name along with an illustration of a red Lion Rampant. Feliciano remembers Arthur explaining that the Head of his Clan would always be given the title of Crimson Lion due to Merwin's hair and his bestial behaviour when he goes on a rampage. Arthur always joked that his brother Alistair resembled their grandfather in that sense. Feliciano looked back at the smiling old man, confused.

"Arthur made this."

"Ve? Arthur? But that …!"

"Professional. I know. He was 8 years old."

Feliciano stared down in shock at the piece of work that a professional only could do. Arthur was 8 years old when he made this?! Unbelievable! So Arthur is actually good at embroidery?

"You may not excel as well in some things but that doesn't mean there isn't anything Alfa in you, Feliciano." Merwin took back his pipe-cover and put it away.

"… ve …"

"I know it's difficult but you need to find pride in who you are. If you don't, the beast in you might wake up and harm people you care for. Even Arthur. And as Head Alfa and Grandfather, I cannot allow you to harm our little Omega. Especially if you wish to court him in the near future." Merwin slyly smirked those last words.

"Ve! I am not …!" Feliciano felt his face turn instant crimson as red as the Lion Rampant.

"No need to be shy about it! I've seen about everything there is to see in that little air-head of yours!" Merwin laughed lightly, completely oblivious to the turmoil he was causing Feliciano.

The Italian couldn't deny such an obvious fact especially if Merwin already knows. But he felt extremely vulnerable in revealing his feelings to the Head Alfa of Arthur's Clan. After all, this is the man he will need to ask if he one day wishes to marry Arthur.

"Oh no! Not me!" Merwin spoke suddenly, intruding on Feliciano's mind again. Smirking, the only man blew out a cloud of smoke.

"If you wish the hand of my grandson, you will need to request it and earn it from his older brother."

AN: Sorry for the wait! I'll get back to this story now and the updates should be more frequent.